A/N- Okay…so you all still want C/A… You guys aren't gonna like me…but try
to remember, there'll be other fics written by yours truly…and maybe a
sequel to this (if you guys want it, but we'll discuss that later, let me
finish this one first)…just give me time. Just a question, though…why is it
that nobody can warm to Lindsey? Okay, so there *are* one or 2 of you…I
mean…*us*, but he's good here. Just a thought…Who likes Kate (as in
Lockley) or is she no-good? Remember to review.
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So, there you have it. The plan. Looks like we're gonna go through with it. But, as much as I keep telling Cordelia that it'll be fine and nothing will go wrong, I've got this knot in the pit of my stomach that says otherwise. Yeah, I'm doubtful. I can't help it. I guess I've never been one to look on the bright side. But, I've got to try…it's not just my life on the line now.
"So…are you gonna stay here tonight?" Cordy asks. "I mean, its safer than if you went back to your place…and it could support the plan 'cos you can always tell Wolfram and Hart that you were trying to make yourself be trusted and then strike when we weren't looking…or something like that…"
"Uh…" I begin, looking over at Angel uneasily, "I don't know if that's the best idea at the moment…"
"Cordy has a point. You're safer here…and then you're story *would* check out with the others." Angel states.
I'm grateful for his understanding, or at least his tolerance. (I don't think Angel is very understanding…but it looks like he's making an effort.) "Okay…I guess I'm staying, then."
A few moments of silence pass, only broken every now and then by Connor's baby noises. At the moment, there's only Angel, Cordelia, Connor and I in the Hyperion. Gunn is out asking his gang for their co-operation. Wesley's gone back to his apartment to find a few books and scrolls and what-have- you that may be of some use when they try to take down the W&H building. (You know, spells and stuff…to get past security and that kind of thing.) Fred went with him, on the premise that he may need help. (Its so obvious that those two are attracted to each other, why they don't hook up is beyond me…) Lorne…well…I don't know what he's doing, but he said something about needing a decent drink… So that leaves us.
Cordy's sitting on the couch again, nursing Connor. She's *really* attached to him. Angel's on the chair to her right, just watching her interact with his son. I'm starting to get this vibe that Cordelia meant more to him than family…I'm hoping that I'm wrong on this one. But, his body language and the look in his eyes tell me that it's true.
Angel loves Cordelia. There's the shock of the century. I wonder if she knows…I bet she doesn't. I bet he's kept his feelings hidden from her and, now that I've moved in on his turf, he's realised its too late. Unless, of course, he's planning on getting me out of the picture… No. I don't need to think about that. Plus, if he knows that Cordy loves me, he wouldn't do anything to break her trust. Or would he? No. He wouldn't…I hope.
I can't help feeling sorry for him. I mean, putting myself in his shoes for a minute…I don't think I'd like it if I was in love with someone and then somebody that I considered an enemy comes and takes her away…
He looks so miserable. I guess he thought that he finally had everything…and I'm destroying that. To him it must look like I'm taking her from his family… but that was never my intention. Maybe the old Lindsey would do something vile and loathsome to destroy him deliberately, but me…the Lindsey of now…well, I haven't done anything awful. And I didn't do anything on purpose either…it all just happened. I never even thought of how my actions might effect *him*. I never even suspected that he might love her.
The phone rings, jerking me out of my thoughts. Cordelia gets up and walks to her desk, still nursing Connor. I watch as Angel's sad eyes follow her. Without turning to me he pointedly asks, "What?"
"You love her don't you ?" I reply quietly. My eyes pass towards Cordy, who is now sitting down and jotting notes down on a piece of paper, the phone held onto her shoulder by her head as both her hands are busy cradling the baby and writing. She's a multi-tasker and does it with style.
Angel faces me. "Yeah…she's part of my family."
I smile grimly. "No…you're *in* love with her."
He goes blank. "And if I am?"
"I'm sorry." I tell him. He knows what I mean.
"No, I'm sorry. It's my fault. If I had have told her in the first place…but I didn't know. It just pounced on me the other day. And I know I've lost her…" He answers sorrowfully. But then he hardens. "But, if you don't treat her properly I *will* make you suffer."
"I know. Believe me when I say that I don't want anything to happen to her. I don't want to hurt her and if I do, there's nothing that you can do that will be worse than the torture I'll feel deep inside myself." I pause. "I'm not taking her away…you know that, right?"
He looks at me. Its almost as if he's contemplating throwing me out of the window from the top floor. (Or that's what his eyes seem to say.) "I hope not."
"Angel, if I'd have known that you loved her…" I trail off. I don't know how to phrase it. There's so much I need to tell him, but I don't know how to start.
He simply nods. "I know." Then, he smirks "You're really not as evil as you used to be, Lindsey. Which, at the same time as being good for Cordy…it also makes it a great deal harder to hate you."
I chuckle softly, the mood lightening significantly. Cordy appears at Angel's side, holding her notes in one hand, the baby still in the other. Angel looks up at her. "Whatcha got for me?"
She glances at the piece of paper once, then hands it to him. "Mrs Johansson again. She says the hydro-water-demony thing's back again."
He rolls his eyes and stands up. "Is she *sure* this time? 'cos last time it was just leaky piping in her roof…Seriously, do I *look* like a plumber to you?"
"Well…" She starts.
"On second thoughts…Don't answer that. I think I'm better off not knowing." He says, cutting her off. They both laugh and he disappears into his office, emerging a couple of minutes later wearing his full-length black coat. His weapons and other demon-disposal equipment are probably concealed somewhere underneath it.
"I'm gone." He informs us, stepping out the front doors. (The sun set around half an hour ago, so he doesn't burst into flames.)
Connor is suddenly aware of the lack of his father. He starts to squirm in Cordelia's arms and before long he's crying. She tries everything to calm him down, but nothing seems to phase him at all.
"C'mon…" She coos at him for like the 100th time. "Shhh…its okay…"
"Do you mind if I try?" I ask, holding my hands out.
She hesitates, only for a millisecond, but I still saw it.
"I won't try to make a break for it." I assure her. "I promise."
A sheepish smile brushes across her lips. "Sorry. I'm *really* overprotective of this kid…Anyhow, if you did try to pull anything you'd be dead within a second." She shrugs. "Motherly instincts and all that…"
I can't help smiling at her. "I believe that." I take Connor and realise that there's nothing I can do that she hasn't already tried. He looks up at me, stopping crying for a second, and I can almost swear he just gave me a death stare. And then he's howling again.
"Uh…shhh…" I start. "How 'bout a song? I can sing, y'know. And I can play the guitar. Bet you didn't know that." Cordy giggles. I look up at her. "Now, if only I could get that response from the kid…" She laughs again and Connor starts to calm down. I look down at him. "So…her laugh has that effect on you too, huh? Its soothing, isn't it?" She laughs again and his cries become softened hiccups. I look at her and ask, "You couldn't have done that before?"
"Laughed? I should have, shouldn't I?" She chuckles again, and Connor starts to giggle himself.
Great, now there's 3 of us in love with her. "Hey little guy." I coo at him. "I take it that I don't have to sing to you now? Well…it's a pity. I'm pretty damn good at it."
Cordy laughs and takes him back. "I've heard him sing…and he really does know what he's doin'." She says to the baby. He only gurgles at her and snuggles against her chest.
"That kid gets all the fun." I mumble in mock jealousy, then when she looks at me and smiles, I add (in mock surprise) "Oh…did I say that out loud?"
She playfully punches me on the arm and we both laugh. This just feels so…perfect. I almost can't believe that it's real. And I almost can't believe that this is how my entire life is gonna be in only a few short months. Cordy, me and a baby…one big happy family. Wow.
I just hope that everything goes according to plan, 'cos otherwise…*this*, what I'm experiencing right now, is never gonna happen to me. I shake that thought out of my head and smile warmly at Cordelia.
She passes Connor back to me again. "Uh, can you hold him for a little bit…I gotta pee."
"I don't think I needed to know that." I laugh back at her. She smiles and bounds off towards the closest downstairs bathroom.
So…this is what my life is gonna be like. 'Please let everything work out okay.' I plead silently, to whatever Gods or Powers may be listening. 'Please…'
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A/N (2)- okay…now review time! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU"RE THINKING! It doesn't take long AND It doesn't have to be much…just a simple good or bad answer with a tiny (itsy bitsy) bit of an explanation. Constructive Criticism *is* welcome. And remember to answer, what's the vote on bringing Kate into their little gathering? Yay or Nay?????
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So, there you have it. The plan. Looks like we're gonna go through with it. But, as much as I keep telling Cordelia that it'll be fine and nothing will go wrong, I've got this knot in the pit of my stomach that says otherwise. Yeah, I'm doubtful. I can't help it. I guess I've never been one to look on the bright side. But, I've got to try…it's not just my life on the line now.
"So…are you gonna stay here tonight?" Cordy asks. "I mean, its safer than if you went back to your place…and it could support the plan 'cos you can always tell Wolfram and Hart that you were trying to make yourself be trusted and then strike when we weren't looking…or something like that…"
"Uh…" I begin, looking over at Angel uneasily, "I don't know if that's the best idea at the moment…"
"Cordy has a point. You're safer here…and then you're story *would* check out with the others." Angel states.
I'm grateful for his understanding, or at least his tolerance. (I don't think Angel is very understanding…but it looks like he's making an effort.) "Okay…I guess I'm staying, then."
A few moments of silence pass, only broken every now and then by Connor's baby noises. At the moment, there's only Angel, Cordelia, Connor and I in the Hyperion. Gunn is out asking his gang for their co-operation. Wesley's gone back to his apartment to find a few books and scrolls and what-have- you that may be of some use when they try to take down the W&H building. (You know, spells and stuff…to get past security and that kind of thing.) Fred went with him, on the premise that he may need help. (Its so obvious that those two are attracted to each other, why they don't hook up is beyond me…) Lorne…well…I don't know what he's doing, but he said something about needing a decent drink… So that leaves us.
Cordy's sitting on the couch again, nursing Connor. She's *really* attached to him. Angel's on the chair to her right, just watching her interact with his son. I'm starting to get this vibe that Cordelia meant more to him than family…I'm hoping that I'm wrong on this one. But, his body language and the look in his eyes tell me that it's true.
Angel loves Cordelia. There's the shock of the century. I wonder if she knows…I bet she doesn't. I bet he's kept his feelings hidden from her and, now that I've moved in on his turf, he's realised its too late. Unless, of course, he's planning on getting me out of the picture… No. I don't need to think about that. Plus, if he knows that Cordy loves me, he wouldn't do anything to break her trust. Or would he? No. He wouldn't…I hope.
I can't help feeling sorry for him. I mean, putting myself in his shoes for a minute…I don't think I'd like it if I was in love with someone and then somebody that I considered an enemy comes and takes her away…
He looks so miserable. I guess he thought that he finally had everything…and I'm destroying that. To him it must look like I'm taking her from his family… but that was never my intention. Maybe the old Lindsey would do something vile and loathsome to destroy him deliberately, but me…the Lindsey of now…well, I haven't done anything awful. And I didn't do anything on purpose either…it all just happened. I never even thought of how my actions might effect *him*. I never even suspected that he might love her.
The phone rings, jerking me out of my thoughts. Cordelia gets up and walks to her desk, still nursing Connor. I watch as Angel's sad eyes follow her. Without turning to me he pointedly asks, "What?"
"You love her don't you ?" I reply quietly. My eyes pass towards Cordy, who is now sitting down and jotting notes down on a piece of paper, the phone held onto her shoulder by her head as both her hands are busy cradling the baby and writing. She's a multi-tasker and does it with style.
Angel faces me. "Yeah…she's part of my family."
I smile grimly. "No…you're *in* love with her."
He goes blank. "And if I am?"
"I'm sorry." I tell him. He knows what I mean.
"No, I'm sorry. It's my fault. If I had have told her in the first place…but I didn't know. It just pounced on me the other day. And I know I've lost her…" He answers sorrowfully. But then he hardens. "But, if you don't treat her properly I *will* make you suffer."
"I know. Believe me when I say that I don't want anything to happen to her. I don't want to hurt her and if I do, there's nothing that you can do that will be worse than the torture I'll feel deep inside myself." I pause. "I'm not taking her away…you know that, right?"
He looks at me. Its almost as if he's contemplating throwing me out of the window from the top floor. (Or that's what his eyes seem to say.) "I hope not."
"Angel, if I'd have known that you loved her…" I trail off. I don't know how to phrase it. There's so much I need to tell him, but I don't know how to start.
He simply nods. "I know." Then, he smirks "You're really not as evil as you used to be, Lindsey. Which, at the same time as being good for Cordy…it also makes it a great deal harder to hate you."
I chuckle softly, the mood lightening significantly. Cordy appears at Angel's side, holding her notes in one hand, the baby still in the other. Angel looks up at her. "Whatcha got for me?"
She glances at the piece of paper once, then hands it to him. "Mrs Johansson again. She says the hydro-water-demony thing's back again."
He rolls his eyes and stands up. "Is she *sure* this time? 'cos last time it was just leaky piping in her roof…Seriously, do I *look* like a plumber to you?"
"Well…" She starts.
"On second thoughts…Don't answer that. I think I'm better off not knowing." He says, cutting her off. They both laugh and he disappears into his office, emerging a couple of minutes later wearing his full-length black coat. His weapons and other demon-disposal equipment are probably concealed somewhere underneath it.
"I'm gone." He informs us, stepping out the front doors. (The sun set around half an hour ago, so he doesn't burst into flames.)
Connor is suddenly aware of the lack of his father. He starts to squirm in Cordelia's arms and before long he's crying. She tries everything to calm him down, but nothing seems to phase him at all.
"C'mon…" She coos at him for like the 100th time. "Shhh…its okay…"
"Do you mind if I try?" I ask, holding my hands out.
She hesitates, only for a millisecond, but I still saw it.
"I won't try to make a break for it." I assure her. "I promise."
A sheepish smile brushes across her lips. "Sorry. I'm *really* overprotective of this kid…Anyhow, if you did try to pull anything you'd be dead within a second." She shrugs. "Motherly instincts and all that…"
I can't help smiling at her. "I believe that." I take Connor and realise that there's nothing I can do that she hasn't already tried. He looks up at me, stopping crying for a second, and I can almost swear he just gave me a death stare. And then he's howling again.
"Uh…shhh…" I start. "How 'bout a song? I can sing, y'know. And I can play the guitar. Bet you didn't know that." Cordy giggles. I look up at her. "Now, if only I could get that response from the kid…" She laughs again and Connor starts to calm down. I look down at him. "So…her laugh has that effect on you too, huh? Its soothing, isn't it?" She laughs again and his cries become softened hiccups. I look at her and ask, "You couldn't have done that before?"
"Laughed? I should have, shouldn't I?" She chuckles again, and Connor starts to giggle himself.
Great, now there's 3 of us in love with her. "Hey little guy." I coo at him. "I take it that I don't have to sing to you now? Well…it's a pity. I'm pretty damn good at it."
Cordy laughs and takes him back. "I've heard him sing…and he really does know what he's doin'." She says to the baby. He only gurgles at her and snuggles against her chest.
"That kid gets all the fun." I mumble in mock jealousy, then when she looks at me and smiles, I add (in mock surprise) "Oh…did I say that out loud?"
She playfully punches me on the arm and we both laugh. This just feels so…perfect. I almost can't believe that it's real. And I almost can't believe that this is how my entire life is gonna be in only a few short months. Cordy, me and a baby…one big happy family. Wow.
I just hope that everything goes according to plan, 'cos otherwise…*this*, what I'm experiencing right now, is never gonna happen to me. I shake that thought out of my head and smile warmly at Cordelia.
She passes Connor back to me again. "Uh, can you hold him for a little bit…I gotta pee."
"I don't think I needed to know that." I laugh back at her. She smiles and bounds off towards the closest downstairs bathroom.
So…this is what my life is gonna be like. 'Please let everything work out okay.' I plead silently, to whatever Gods or Powers may be listening. 'Please…'
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A/N (2)- okay…now review time! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU"RE THINKING! It doesn't take long AND It doesn't have to be much…just a simple good or bad answer with a tiny (itsy bitsy) bit of an explanation. Constructive Criticism *is* welcome. And remember to answer, what's the vote on bringing Kate into their little gathering? Yay or Nay?????