A/N- Okay...thanks for even more of your wonderful feedback.(Even that cryptic 1 from someone that I can't pick...but seems to know me...) Sorry its taking so long, but I've had so much homework and assignments and part-time job work that I haven't had the chance to catch up on my fics...But here I go...please give me your opinion...PLEASE.
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Angel follows the rest of the Scoobies back in. Xander is rolling his eyes and clearly not liking the situation. Anya spies Cordy and runs over to embrace her in a large hug...showering her with congratulations. Willow does the same. Tara stands by my side and watches as Xander reluctantly greets Cordelia and follows in his fiancé and best friend's footsteps. Spike joins in by calling out "Annoying Cheerleader!" and somehow also congratulating her. That's when Angel decides to introduce everyone properly. Half way through his introductions Wesley and a brunette waltz into the lobby. Angel introduces everyone to Fred (Ah! So that's Fred...I've only ever heard of her...) and Wesley greets us as well.
I can't stand all these pleasantries. We're here to do business. That's it. I want to suggest that we start plotting against the law firm, but I hold my tongue.
Cordelia yawns and suddenly Angel springs into motion, gathering a collection of keys and handing them out. "You guys must be exhausted." He explains. "We'll sort everything out tomorrow. For now...get rest. Cordy, that means you too."
She nods and obediently heads towards the elevator. Lindsey, Fred, Tara, Anya and Xander follow. Gunn and Wesley make their exits, stating that they'll return in the morning. Spike glances down at the key in his hand. I guess he thought he'd be staying with me. He opens his mouth to say something, but I nudge him, urging him to stop.
"Well...I'm gonna scoot as well." Willow tells us. "'Night."
"Goodnight." The 2 vampires and I reply in unison.
Spike decides that he's gonna head to his room as well, right before Will enters the elevator. "Red!" He calls after her. "Hold the lift! I'm coming!"
"Yeah..." I yawn. "Me too." I move to follow and Angel takes my arm. I turn to face him, raising my eyebrows.
"Buffy...Thanks for doing this..." He whispers. I start to tell him its fine and he's welcome, but he stops me. "Look, I know how weird this all must be to you and if I were in your position I'd hate me. I know you're not in love with me anymore, but there's still that little part of you that I know I've betrayed...and I'm so sorry. I don't need your forgiveness...but I'd like to try and earn it and I really need you to know that I appreciate everything you're doing here for us. I...I wish I could have told you everything in a non-over the phone way. But this is how its happened. I'll respect your decision to hate me...but know that I'm truly grateful for what you're doing."
I wait a second before saying anything, making sure that he's finished. This is the most vulnerable I've ever seen Angel...and I'm including the time he tried to kill himself when that big first evil thing was torturing him. "Angel...you're right. I did want to hate you, but I couldn't...I can't. No, I'm not in love with you anymore, but I still love you...and knowing that you and Darla could share something that we never can upsets me more than you'll ever know...But I'm just as bad, Angel. I've got all sorts of stuff going on in my life that would hurt you...so I'm no better...Yes, coming here tonight hurts me...How could it not?...But, if it means that you and your son will be safe...I can think of nothing else I'd rather be doing..." I trail off. "Do you understand?"
He nods. "I've hurt you...broken so many promises to you..."
"I've done the same to you."
"How?"
I sigh. "Angel, Now is not the time. I'm tired and my emotions are running raw. Another time, okay?"
He nods and helps me with my bags. Everyone else has already taken theirs. Spike and Willow are waiting patiently in the elevator, holding the doors open. We step in and he punches in the relevant buttons. When we get to the first floor, Angel steps out. Willow follows.
"See you in the morning." She chirps at me. Angel waves Spike and I off.
"Yeah...see you then." I reply.
"'Night Red. Nancy boy." Spike seconds. Before Angel can respond, the doors have closed on us. Spike grins at me, a mischievous glint in his eye.
"No." I tell him, trying to remain serious. As much as I hate to say it, I'm warming to him. He's not just my sex toy anymore. That's scaring me to no end. I mean...I understood why I fell for Angel. Riley was an obvious choice too...in the beginning. Even Parker was nice to start with...But Spike? Am I going insane? Is this just my subconscious trying to get back at Angel? Or is what I'm starting to feel real? Am I really growing attached to him?
"But Pet..." He whines playfully. "We've got an entire floor to ourselves..."
"No. Anyway, How do you know that?"
"'Cos all of the other Scoobies are down stairs...they filled up the last of those rooms. We got the 2 on this floor."
"Spike..."
"Look, I'll put all my stuff in my allocated room and you can sort out yours in your room and then we'll go knockin' on all the doors in the hall `til I prove that I'm right an' there's no body else on this floor." He grins. "Got it?"
"Spike...I am genuinely tired. Maybe tomo-" I can't finish my sentence because his tongue is currently roaming my mouth. I sink into the kiss.
He pulls away gently, teasing me with that kiss. "Alright then, love. `night." He turns to walk into his room.
A smile spreads across my face. "Damn it Spike..." He grins. "You can keep me company but no s-" Once again, he's stopping my speech with his tongue. He pulls away again, the glint in his eye not fading.
"You were saying?" He asks.
"Shut up." I instruct. This time its me that enters into the kiss. I guide him into my room. Closing the door behind us, still not unlocking our lips. I force him onto the bed and begin unbuttoning his shirt. Then I stop. "This is wrong." I tell him.
"What?" He asks in disbelief. "Yeah...I'll tell you what's wrong. Getting' a guy all excited and then leavin' it at the last second is what's wrong. I mean...well...you can probably tell what I mean." He's right, I can, but I'm trying to ignore it.
"No, Spike. Angel doesn't know about us and it'd hurt him more than anything...especially doing it in *his* place. And, I know, he's hurt me and stuff...but the others don't even know about us...I don't even know what *us* is...We need to *talk*, Spike. I know that I couldn't do it while we were in Sunnydale...but we *need* to..."
"Pet, its okay...I'll talk, see...listen to me talkin'...blah blah soddin' blah..." He takes a breath, one which he doesn't need, but it makes the conversation somewhat easier to follow. "Love, what are you doin'? With me...don't get me wrong...we've been through this...I don't mind bein' used as you're sex toy...But how do you see *us*? Where do you want this to go?"
"I don't know...I wish I did. I wish it were as easy as when we first started this...but I can't...I mean, I'm starting to feel certain ways about you...And that's just strange...I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to get hurt...Spike I'm confused..." There I said it, or at least a lot of it...
"Pet, I'm willing to see whether an *us* would work...I've got eternity...plus if you and the poof had a chance...look, I'm bein' selfish but I'm all for gettin' hurt if it means a chance with you...not just sex...but emotions...Slayer...I mean, Buffy..." He says my name so tenderly, all the emotions clear and present in his voice, making him so very vulnerable. "Buffy, the last time I told you this...you broke my heart, but I'm gonna say it again. I Love You. I love being with you." He smirks. "What can I say? I'm Love's Bitch."
I burst into tears.
"No. That's not the exact response I was lookin' for either..." Spike adds, holding me in his arms.
I bring my lips back up to his and kiss him. It's not full of lust or desire, but its soft and meaningful. "You realise nobody's gonna like this." I tell him.
"Oh well...that's their problem." He replies, replicating the kiss again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up lying next to Spike, my arms hugging his chest and my head resting on his shoulder. He has his arms around me. I feel comfortable like this. We're both still completely clothed. We stayed up last night just talking about everything. I'm starting to feel normal again...whatever normal is.
He plants a soft kiss on my forehead. "You're awake."
I sigh contentedly and snuggle back into his chest, murmuring a hearty "Good Morning."
Then a few seconds later I flick my eyes back open. Gotta go meet everyone for breakfast. Gotta go tell them all about Spike and I. Gotta go...well...plot the demise of a very evil lawfirm. I gotta go do a lot of things today.
I wonder how they're all going to react. I wonder how they're all going to get along. I wonder if I'll survive this week.
I get out of bed and start getting changed. I can't let them see me in the same thing that I wore yesterday. I'm worrying a lot today too. Yep. Today's gonna be a very busy day.
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A/N(2) - okay...please review. Imagine me on my hands and knees grovelling for your thoughts...okay. Pathetic, huh? Now imagine me smiling happily while I write out the next chapter...better isn't it? Well...it's your choice. If I don't get the feedback, I won't write it. You guys know that. :)
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Angel follows the rest of the Scoobies back in. Xander is rolling his eyes and clearly not liking the situation. Anya spies Cordy and runs over to embrace her in a large hug...showering her with congratulations. Willow does the same. Tara stands by my side and watches as Xander reluctantly greets Cordelia and follows in his fiancé and best friend's footsteps. Spike joins in by calling out "Annoying Cheerleader!" and somehow also congratulating her. That's when Angel decides to introduce everyone properly. Half way through his introductions Wesley and a brunette waltz into the lobby. Angel introduces everyone to Fred (Ah! So that's Fred...I've only ever heard of her...) and Wesley greets us as well.
I can't stand all these pleasantries. We're here to do business. That's it. I want to suggest that we start plotting against the law firm, but I hold my tongue.
Cordelia yawns and suddenly Angel springs into motion, gathering a collection of keys and handing them out. "You guys must be exhausted." He explains. "We'll sort everything out tomorrow. For now...get rest. Cordy, that means you too."
She nods and obediently heads towards the elevator. Lindsey, Fred, Tara, Anya and Xander follow. Gunn and Wesley make their exits, stating that they'll return in the morning. Spike glances down at the key in his hand. I guess he thought he'd be staying with me. He opens his mouth to say something, but I nudge him, urging him to stop.
"Well...I'm gonna scoot as well." Willow tells us. "'Night."
"Goodnight." The 2 vampires and I reply in unison.
Spike decides that he's gonna head to his room as well, right before Will enters the elevator. "Red!" He calls after her. "Hold the lift! I'm coming!"
"Yeah..." I yawn. "Me too." I move to follow and Angel takes my arm. I turn to face him, raising my eyebrows.
"Buffy...Thanks for doing this..." He whispers. I start to tell him its fine and he's welcome, but he stops me. "Look, I know how weird this all must be to you and if I were in your position I'd hate me. I know you're not in love with me anymore, but there's still that little part of you that I know I've betrayed...and I'm so sorry. I don't need your forgiveness...but I'd like to try and earn it and I really need you to know that I appreciate everything you're doing here for us. I...I wish I could have told you everything in a non-over the phone way. But this is how its happened. I'll respect your decision to hate me...but know that I'm truly grateful for what you're doing."
I wait a second before saying anything, making sure that he's finished. This is the most vulnerable I've ever seen Angel...and I'm including the time he tried to kill himself when that big first evil thing was torturing him. "Angel...you're right. I did want to hate you, but I couldn't...I can't. No, I'm not in love with you anymore, but I still love you...and knowing that you and Darla could share something that we never can upsets me more than you'll ever know...But I'm just as bad, Angel. I've got all sorts of stuff going on in my life that would hurt you...so I'm no better...Yes, coming here tonight hurts me...How could it not?...But, if it means that you and your son will be safe...I can think of nothing else I'd rather be doing..." I trail off. "Do you understand?"
He nods. "I've hurt you...broken so many promises to you..."
"I've done the same to you."
"How?"
I sigh. "Angel, Now is not the time. I'm tired and my emotions are running raw. Another time, okay?"
He nods and helps me with my bags. Everyone else has already taken theirs. Spike and Willow are waiting patiently in the elevator, holding the doors open. We step in and he punches in the relevant buttons. When we get to the first floor, Angel steps out. Willow follows.
"See you in the morning." She chirps at me. Angel waves Spike and I off.
"Yeah...see you then." I reply.
"'Night Red. Nancy boy." Spike seconds. Before Angel can respond, the doors have closed on us. Spike grins at me, a mischievous glint in his eye.
"No." I tell him, trying to remain serious. As much as I hate to say it, I'm warming to him. He's not just my sex toy anymore. That's scaring me to no end. I mean...I understood why I fell for Angel. Riley was an obvious choice too...in the beginning. Even Parker was nice to start with...But Spike? Am I going insane? Is this just my subconscious trying to get back at Angel? Or is what I'm starting to feel real? Am I really growing attached to him?
"But Pet..." He whines playfully. "We've got an entire floor to ourselves..."
"No. Anyway, How do you know that?"
"'Cos all of the other Scoobies are down stairs...they filled up the last of those rooms. We got the 2 on this floor."
"Spike..."
"Look, I'll put all my stuff in my allocated room and you can sort out yours in your room and then we'll go knockin' on all the doors in the hall `til I prove that I'm right an' there's no body else on this floor." He grins. "Got it?"
"Spike...I am genuinely tired. Maybe tomo-" I can't finish my sentence because his tongue is currently roaming my mouth. I sink into the kiss.
He pulls away gently, teasing me with that kiss. "Alright then, love. `night." He turns to walk into his room.
A smile spreads across my face. "Damn it Spike..." He grins. "You can keep me company but no s-" Once again, he's stopping my speech with his tongue. He pulls away again, the glint in his eye not fading.
"You were saying?" He asks.
"Shut up." I instruct. This time its me that enters into the kiss. I guide him into my room. Closing the door behind us, still not unlocking our lips. I force him onto the bed and begin unbuttoning his shirt. Then I stop. "This is wrong." I tell him.
"What?" He asks in disbelief. "Yeah...I'll tell you what's wrong. Getting' a guy all excited and then leavin' it at the last second is what's wrong. I mean...well...you can probably tell what I mean." He's right, I can, but I'm trying to ignore it.
"No, Spike. Angel doesn't know about us and it'd hurt him more than anything...especially doing it in *his* place. And, I know, he's hurt me and stuff...but the others don't even know about us...I don't even know what *us* is...We need to *talk*, Spike. I know that I couldn't do it while we were in Sunnydale...but we *need* to..."
"Pet, its okay...I'll talk, see...listen to me talkin'...blah blah soddin' blah..." He takes a breath, one which he doesn't need, but it makes the conversation somewhat easier to follow. "Love, what are you doin'? With me...don't get me wrong...we've been through this...I don't mind bein' used as you're sex toy...But how do you see *us*? Where do you want this to go?"
"I don't know...I wish I did. I wish it were as easy as when we first started this...but I can't...I mean, I'm starting to feel certain ways about you...And that's just strange...I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to get hurt...Spike I'm confused..." There I said it, or at least a lot of it...
"Pet, I'm willing to see whether an *us* would work...I've got eternity...plus if you and the poof had a chance...look, I'm bein' selfish but I'm all for gettin' hurt if it means a chance with you...not just sex...but emotions...Slayer...I mean, Buffy..." He says my name so tenderly, all the emotions clear and present in his voice, making him so very vulnerable. "Buffy, the last time I told you this...you broke my heart, but I'm gonna say it again. I Love You. I love being with you." He smirks. "What can I say? I'm Love's Bitch."
I burst into tears.
"No. That's not the exact response I was lookin' for either..." Spike adds, holding me in his arms.
I bring my lips back up to his and kiss him. It's not full of lust or desire, but its soft and meaningful. "You realise nobody's gonna like this." I tell him.
"Oh well...that's their problem." He replies, replicating the kiss again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up lying next to Spike, my arms hugging his chest and my head resting on his shoulder. He has his arms around me. I feel comfortable like this. We're both still completely clothed. We stayed up last night just talking about everything. I'm starting to feel normal again...whatever normal is.
He plants a soft kiss on my forehead. "You're awake."
I sigh contentedly and snuggle back into his chest, murmuring a hearty "Good Morning."
Then a few seconds later I flick my eyes back open. Gotta go meet everyone for breakfast. Gotta go tell them all about Spike and I. Gotta go...well...plot the demise of a very evil lawfirm. I gotta go do a lot of things today.
I wonder how they're all going to react. I wonder how they're all going to get along. I wonder if I'll survive this week.
I get out of bed and start getting changed. I can't let them see me in the same thing that I wore yesterday. I'm worrying a lot today too. Yep. Today's gonna be a very busy day.
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A/N(2) - okay...please review. Imagine me on my hands and knees grovelling for your thoughts...okay. Pathetic, huh? Now imagine me smiling happily while I write out the next chapter...better isn't it? Well...it's your choice. If I don't get the feedback, I won't write it. You guys know that. :)