Fools8
I'm bored with this plodding plot already. So if I don't finish this fic, or .wind for that matter, don't be surprised. It's just that I'll have given up in disgust, and gone and done one of the ten more productive things in my life that need doing. I'm only writing now 'cause I hate leaving things unfinished. Bloody fucking obsessive compulsive personality disorder
"Hey Tsukushi! Wait for me!" Sakurako called out after the rapidly retreating girl. Failing to elicit a response, she hurried after her, leaving behind a chagrined Rui still seated at the top of the stairs.
Tsukushi didn't pause in her headlong flight until the emergency stairs were well out of sight behind the screening trees and shrubbery of the school gardens.
"I. Hate. Men!" she panted at last, turning to allow Sakurako to catch up to her.
"Tsukushi, are you ok?" Sakurako asked in worried tone. "I heard what happened between you and Tsukasa. But really, what were you thinking hooking up with Soujiro-I mean, he's cute and all but, compared to Tsukasa. why waste your time?"
"I. Did. Not. Fuck. Soujiro." Tsukushi enunciated each word very clearly, despite her tightly clenched teeth. "And I don't intend to. Nor do I intend to go that far with Tsukasa anytime soon. Or even Rui for that matter! So why don't you all just leave me alone? Why is everyone so concerned with my sex life anyway? Just because I'm not a perverted sex-fiend like the rest of the school seems to be!?" It felt good to let her pent-up rage and frustration erupt cleanly. And where, normally, the mere mention of anything perverted would immediately cause her crimson blush to erupt, now her explicit words merely served to reinforce her righteous anger.
"Whoa! Calm down!" Sakurako hastened to retract her earlier assumptions, "If you don't want to, you don't want to. but, then why did you go to a hotel with him?"
"Arrghhh!!!!" Tsukushi screamed in frustration. "Why does everyone know about that?" All I wanted was to get through a quiet day at school. But no. You people just can't leave me alone, can you? But then again, by now I should know better than to expect all you rich people to understand a common weed like me." " Tsukushi bit her final words off bitterly.
"I'm sorry, Tsukushi." Sakurako began contritely, "You know we just want to help.."
"How is any of this supposed to be helping?" Tsukushi sighed in frustration. But she never could stay angry long, "Look. All I want right now is to be left alone. No Doumyouji. No Rui. No gossipy classmates. No one. I'm going home. If you see Doumyouji, tell him to stay away. Same for Rui."
Without waiting for a reply, she spun on her heel and stalked off. Her friends were a bunch of gossipy idiots. What had she done to be eternally trapped between them all?
Again, Sakurako was left staring at Tsukushi's back. Something was definitely not right with that girl.
---
True to form, Doumyouji eventually calmed down. By the time Sakurako had run him to ground and delivered Tsukushi's message, he was feeling guilty for shouting at her so hastily. Why couldn't he just think before he spoke? He cursed his stupidity, and promptly set off to go try and find Tsukushi to apologize to her, again.
"Hey wait!" Sakurako yelled after him, "Didn't you listen to a word I said? She wants you to stay away!"
"If she doesn't want me," was his reply, "she'll have to tell me herself." Despite his massive blunder earlier, Tsukasa was sure that all it would take would be one kiss from him to bring Tsukushi 'round again.
"Idiot," Sakurako muttered, shaking her head sadly, "He really fucked up this time. And charging back at her like that isn't going to help matters any."
----
Rui sat on the emergency stairs, deep in thought. If he wasn't so annoyed at himself for losing control again, he'd be laughing at the irony. He; the erstwhile autistic boy who never let any emotion show, now completely lost control at the sight on one girl's tears. It would be funny, if it weren't so sad. He wondered wistfully if Tsukushi would ever return his love for her? It didn't seem likely at the rate things were going. But he'd be damned if he'd let Tsukasa get away with his behavior towards her. Slowly Rui got to his feet. He'd promised Tsukasa a beating if he hurt Tsukushi again. Now it was time to go keep his promises.
Determinedly, Rui set off in search of the most likely place to find Tsukasa-- on Tsukushi's doorstep.
----
Tsukushi had gone straight to bed upon her arrival back at her apartment. Sure, it was the middle of the day, but she was in no mood to face the world right now. She buried her head beneath the covers and vowed not to come out of her cocoon again until it was time to go to work. In the dark solitude of her room, Tsukushi felt her tears begin to flow once more. It simply was not fair that she had to fall in love with a jerk like Doumyouji. And more and more often, she felt her frustration with him reaching such a fever-pitch that it completely drowned out her love for him.
This was not how it was supposed to be! True love was supposed to be eternal, unchanging! Tsukushi knew that what she had felt for Tsukasa was true love. It was not a pale imitation - not like the foolish crush she'd once had on Rui. But, it was fading. And if Tsukasa didn't mend his ways fast, Tsukushi didn't know how long she'd be able to retain her love for him.
So she cried. Each tear sliding down her damp cheek reminded her of the droplets of love that were slowly but surely dripping from her cracked heart to evaporate in the cold autumnal air.
Eventually, Tsukushi fell asleep, exhausted by her emotional outpouring.
She woke with a start late in the afternoon
"Shit! Did I miss work? What time is it?" Tsukushi felt a moment's panic, before she turned to the clock on the wall. "Whew!" she breathed a sigh of relief. She still had half an hour to get to the dango shop. Feeling much better after her unintentional nap, Tsukushi stretched and sat up. Maybe Yuki would have some good advice for her. But that would mean telling her what had brought this whole mess on. That meant mentioning Soujiro's name to her. And Yuki . Well, she still looked sad whenever she thought about him. Maybe it wouldn't be the best idea for Tsukushi to unload her troubles on her friend.
Preoccupied with remembered concern for Yuki, Tsukushi stumbled downstairs into the waning afternoon sunlight.
Tsukushi was momentarily stunned by the sight which met her eyes on the street outside.
A battered and bruised Doumyouji was circling with an equally roughed up Rui. The two boys had obviously been fighting for some time. Knowing Rui's past threats to Tsukasa on her behalf, Tsukushi was pretty sure she knew why he was here. It was also pretty easy to guess what had led to Tsukasa's presence. Neither of which excused the fact that they were both acting like idiots, and creating a scene, on her doorstep no less!
Tsukushi felt the growing heat of anger rising in up inside once more. Why were the two most important guys in her life such idiots? She took a deep breath, and let lose an ear shattering yell.
"Stop it, both of you!!" That got their attention all right.
Instantly, the two boys turned from their mutual hostilities to stare at Tsukushi. Their conflict was temporarily forgotten as her icy glare transfixed them.
"Didn't you get my message? I said I didn't want to see either of you! Is that so hard to understand? So what are you doing outside my door? And fighting like spoiled little boys, at that! Do you realize how stupid you look?
"I can't take any more of this. Leave me alone, the both of you." Tsukushi's voice fell to an almost inaudible whisper, "Please don't do this to me any more."
Feeling a fresh wash of tears clouding her vision, Tsukushi stumbled off, leaving the two men to exchange chagrined glances.
"This is all your fault." Rui spoke first. "Didn't I tell you not to hurt Tsukushi? Why don't you ever listen?"
"Tsukushi. is. mine! This is a matter between the two of us. You stay out of it!" Tsukasa panted furiously. He absolutely could not stand it when Rui acted like Tsukushi was his; like he understood her, like he was the proper one to take care of her. Tsukasa would never admit that that responsibility might be better borne by someone other than himself. "This is all Soujiro's fault." Tsukasa startled himself by uttering these words aloud.
"Eh?" Rui looked almost as startled as he felt. "How's that?"
"I saw him hitting on her last weekend. Don't try to deny it! He did. I may have accused Tsukushi unjustly, but I know that traitor is up to something! I'll kill him!"
"Are you sure?" Rui looked dubious. "Why would he do something that stupid?"
"It's obvious, he wants to make a fool of me. But if I can't have her, then he can't either!"
Rui was completely taken aback by this change in Tsukasa's mood. "Did I knock something loose in that thick skull of yours?" Tsukasa could be such an idiot. The Soujiro Rui knew was simply not capable of evincing the depth of emotion that a seduction of Tsukushi would require to succeed. Moreover, Soujiro had criticized Rui for his pursuit of Tsukushi when he knew that Tsukasa wanted her. He'd not violate his principles by going after her now.
Rui's uncanny ability to understand his friends was failing him now. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. He wasn't even sure why he wasn't still fighting Tsukasa. Maybe it was just too hard to stay angry long at a man who was such a fool. Rui sighed. It had been a long day. He craved sleep. Sleep made sense.
"Tsukasa," he began, "Try not to do anything too stupid, will you? Tsukushi wants to be alone for a while. So don't try and follow her. I'll be watching you. And. I think you're making a big mistake over this whole Soujiro obsession of yours. If you try and destroy the F4 over another stupid misunderstanding, I'll never forgive you." Without another word, Rui turned and strode off, deep in thought.
Tsukasa was left standing alone in the empty street after Rui's departure.
He had the feeling that he was missing something critical, that the world was spinning out of his control and there was nothing he could do about it. Tsukushi was falling away from him, and she wouldn't even let him save her, as she hurtled farther and farther away.
At last, Tsukasa buried his head in his hands and began to cry. The occasional passerby sent nervous glances his way, but he did care. Nothing mattered without Tsukushi. Nothing at all.
To be continued.
I'm bored with this plodding plot already. So if I don't finish this fic, or .wind for that matter, don't be surprised. It's just that I'll have given up in disgust, and gone and done one of the ten more productive things in my life that need doing. I'm only writing now 'cause I hate leaving things unfinished. Bloody fucking obsessive compulsive personality disorder
"Hey Tsukushi! Wait for me!" Sakurako called out after the rapidly retreating girl. Failing to elicit a response, she hurried after her, leaving behind a chagrined Rui still seated at the top of the stairs.
Tsukushi didn't pause in her headlong flight until the emergency stairs were well out of sight behind the screening trees and shrubbery of the school gardens.
"I. Hate. Men!" she panted at last, turning to allow Sakurako to catch up to her.
"Tsukushi, are you ok?" Sakurako asked in worried tone. "I heard what happened between you and Tsukasa. But really, what were you thinking hooking up with Soujiro-I mean, he's cute and all but, compared to Tsukasa. why waste your time?"
"I. Did. Not. Fuck. Soujiro." Tsukushi enunciated each word very clearly, despite her tightly clenched teeth. "And I don't intend to. Nor do I intend to go that far with Tsukasa anytime soon. Or even Rui for that matter! So why don't you all just leave me alone? Why is everyone so concerned with my sex life anyway? Just because I'm not a perverted sex-fiend like the rest of the school seems to be!?" It felt good to let her pent-up rage and frustration erupt cleanly. And where, normally, the mere mention of anything perverted would immediately cause her crimson blush to erupt, now her explicit words merely served to reinforce her righteous anger.
"Whoa! Calm down!" Sakurako hastened to retract her earlier assumptions, "If you don't want to, you don't want to. but, then why did you go to a hotel with him?"
"Arrghhh!!!!" Tsukushi screamed in frustration. "Why does everyone know about that?" All I wanted was to get through a quiet day at school. But no. You people just can't leave me alone, can you? But then again, by now I should know better than to expect all you rich people to understand a common weed like me." " Tsukushi bit her final words off bitterly.
"I'm sorry, Tsukushi." Sakurako began contritely, "You know we just want to help.."
"How is any of this supposed to be helping?" Tsukushi sighed in frustration. But she never could stay angry long, "Look. All I want right now is to be left alone. No Doumyouji. No Rui. No gossipy classmates. No one. I'm going home. If you see Doumyouji, tell him to stay away. Same for Rui."
Without waiting for a reply, she spun on her heel and stalked off. Her friends were a bunch of gossipy idiots. What had she done to be eternally trapped between them all?
Again, Sakurako was left staring at Tsukushi's back. Something was definitely not right with that girl.
---
True to form, Doumyouji eventually calmed down. By the time Sakurako had run him to ground and delivered Tsukushi's message, he was feeling guilty for shouting at her so hastily. Why couldn't he just think before he spoke? He cursed his stupidity, and promptly set off to go try and find Tsukushi to apologize to her, again.
"Hey wait!" Sakurako yelled after him, "Didn't you listen to a word I said? She wants you to stay away!"
"If she doesn't want me," was his reply, "she'll have to tell me herself." Despite his massive blunder earlier, Tsukasa was sure that all it would take would be one kiss from him to bring Tsukushi 'round again.
"Idiot," Sakurako muttered, shaking her head sadly, "He really fucked up this time. And charging back at her like that isn't going to help matters any."
----
Rui sat on the emergency stairs, deep in thought. If he wasn't so annoyed at himself for losing control again, he'd be laughing at the irony. He; the erstwhile autistic boy who never let any emotion show, now completely lost control at the sight on one girl's tears. It would be funny, if it weren't so sad. He wondered wistfully if Tsukushi would ever return his love for her? It didn't seem likely at the rate things were going. But he'd be damned if he'd let Tsukasa get away with his behavior towards her. Slowly Rui got to his feet. He'd promised Tsukasa a beating if he hurt Tsukushi again. Now it was time to go keep his promises.
Determinedly, Rui set off in search of the most likely place to find Tsukasa-- on Tsukushi's doorstep.
----
Tsukushi had gone straight to bed upon her arrival back at her apartment. Sure, it was the middle of the day, but she was in no mood to face the world right now. She buried her head beneath the covers and vowed not to come out of her cocoon again until it was time to go to work. In the dark solitude of her room, Tsukushi felt her tears begin to flow once more. It simply was not fair that she had to fall in love with a jerk like Doumyouji. And more and more often, she felt her frustration with him reaching such a fever-pitch that it completely drowned out her love for him.
This was not how it was supposed to be! True love was supposed to be eternal, unchanging! Tsukushi knew that what she had felt for Tsukasa was true love. It was not a pale imitation - not like the foolish crush she'd once had on Rui. But, it was fading. And if Tsukasa didn't mend his ways fast, Tsukushi didn't know how long she'd be able to retain her love for him.
So she cried. Each tear sliding down her damp cheek reminded her of the droplets of love that were slowly but surely dripping from her cracked heart to evaporate in the cold autumnal air.
Eventually, Tsukushi fell asleep, exhausted by her emotional outpouring.
She woke with a start late in the afternoon
"Shit! Did I miss work? What time is it?" Tsukushi felt a moment's panic, before she turned to the clock on the wall. "Whew!" she breathed a sigh of relief. She still had half an hour to get to the dango shop. Feeling much better after her unintentional nap, Tsukushi stretched and sat up. Maybe Yuki would have some good advice for her. But that would mean telling her what had brought this whole mess on. That meant mentioning Soujiro's name to her. And Yuki . Well, she still looked sad whenever she thought about him. Maybe it wouldn't be the best idea for Tsukushi to unload her troubles on her friend.
Preoccupied with remembered concern for Yuki, Tsukushi stumbled downstairs into the waning afternoon sunlight.
Tsukushi was momentarily stunned by the sight which met her eyes on the street outside.
A battered and bruised Doumyouji was circling with an equally roughed up Rui. The two boys had obviously been fighting for some time. Knowing Rui's past threats to Tsukasa on her behalf, Tsukushi was pretty sure she knew why he was here. It was also pretty easy to guess what had led to Tsukasa's presence. Neither of which excused the fact that they were both acting like idiots, and creating a scene, on her doorstep no less!
Tsukushi felt the growing heat of anger rising in up inside once more. Why were the two most important guys in her life such idiots? She took a deep breath, and let lose an ear shattering yell.
"Stop it, both of you!!" That got their attention all right.
Instantly, the two boys turned from their mutual hostilities to stare at Tsukushi. Their conflict was temporarily forgotten as her icy glare transfixed them.
"Didn't you get my message? I said I didn't want to see either of you! Is that so hard to understand? So what are you doing outside my door? And fighting like spoiled little boys, at that! Do you realize how stupid you look?
"I can't take any more of this. Leave me alone, the both of you." Tsukushi's voice fell to an almost inaudible whisper, "Please don't do this to me any more."
Feeling a fresh wash of tears clouding her vision, Tsukushi stumbled off, leaving the two men to exchange chagrined glances.
"This is all your fault." Rui spoke first. "Didn't I tell you not to hurt Tsukushi? Why don't you ever listen?"
"Tsukushi. is. mine! This is a matter between the two of us. You stay out of it!" Tsukasa panted furiously. He absolutely could not stand it when Rui acted like Tsukushi was his; like he understood her, like he was the proper one to take care of her. Tsukasa would never admit that that responsibility might be better borne by someone other than himself. "This is all Soujiro's fault." Tsukasa startled himself by uttering these words aloud.
"Eh?" Rui looked almost as startled as he felt. "How's that?"
"I saw him hitting on her last weekend. Don't try to deny it! He did. I may have accused Tsukushi unjustly, but I know that traitor is up to something! I'll kill him!"
"Are you sure?" Rui looked dubious. "Why would he do something that stupid?"
"It's obvious, he wants to make a fool of me. But if I can't have her, then he can't either!"
Rui was completely taken aback by this change in Tsukasa's mood. "Did I knock something loose in that thick skull of yours?" Tsukasa could be such an idiot. The Soujiro Rui knew was simply not capable of evincing the depth of emotion that a seduction of Tsukushi would require to succeed. Moreover, Soujiro had criticized Rui for his pursuit of Tsukushi when he knew that Tsukasa wanted her. He'd not violate his principles by going after her now.
Rui's uncanny ability to understand his friends was failing him now. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. He wasn't even sure why he wasn't still fighting Tsukasa. Maybe it was just too hard to stay angry long at a man who was such a fool. Rui sighed. It had been a long day. He craved sleep. Sleep made sense.
"Tsukasa," he began, "Try not to do anything too stupid, will you? Tsukushi wants to be alone for a while. So don't try and follow her. I'll be watching you. And. I think you're making a big mistake over this whole Soujiro obsession of yours. If you try and destroy the F4 over another stupid misunderstanding, I'll never forgive you." Without another word, Rui turned and strode off, deep in thought.
Tsukasa was left standing alone in the empty street after Rui's departure.
He had the feeling that he was missing something critical, that the world was spinning out of his control and there was nothing he could do about it. Tsukushi was falling away from him, and she wouldn't even let him save her, as she hurtled farther and farther away.
At last, Tsukasa buried his head in his hands and began to cry. The occasional passerby sent nervous glances his way, but he did care. Nothing mattered without Tsukushi. Nothing at all.
To be continued.