Cordy 26
A/N- Hmmm..That last chapter was a flop. I've been getting email type feedback though, and I've had a new burst of inspiration for this. ^_^ LOTS AND LOTS OF THANKS TO IMZADI. A lot of the ideas are hers and I really would have been lost without her help. So I'm really in her debt at the moment. ^_^ Anywhos..with the Scoobies gone, I'm gonna start winding up from here. I'm thinking 3-4 more chapters and an epilogue are all that's required now. More information will be revealed in later chapters. I promise. For now, all I ask is that you read and review. Simple enough? Good. Thanks again for your support.
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"Cordelia!" Angel's voice calls for the fifth time. "We've gotta get going now!"
He's been pacing around downstairs for a while now. "Hang on!" I shout back. I glance at Lindsey through the dresser mirror. He's not looking too impressed. In fact, I'd say he's looking a little ticked off. I sigh and catch his gaze through the reflection. "Alright," I begin, turning around to look at him face-to-face. "What's up?"
Lindsey shrugs nonchalantly and forces a smile. "What do you mean?"
Rolling my eyes, I move to sit beside him on the bed. I take his hand in mine and look into his eyes. "Its obvious something is bugging you..You're not exactly putting out a happy vibe."
"When did you become Lorne?" He raises an eyebrow and smirks a little.
Although I'd usually find the gesture cute, I see it for the lame attempt at shifting my attention that it is, and I frown at him. "Lindsey..We've had this conversation before. You've gotta start *talking* to me."
Suddenly it seems as if he's finding his shoes extremely interesting. "You're not gonna like what's bugging me." He mutters.
I reach out and lift his chin up. He looks at me and I sigh for dramatic emphasis. "Listen to me. We're having a baby. If we can't communicate with each other.." I trail off. I know I've made my point. "..This is another Angel related thing, isn't it?" I ask after a few moments silence.
Lindsey nods. "I'm just..I'm worried. Angel..he.." He pauses and goes to rephrase. "I know that you guys are family..and that he is looking out for you..but I don't know about this Oracles thing. I mean..what if..what if going to see them..what if the baby.."
Now he's rambling, and voicing the fears that I was trying to keep hidden. "I know, sweetie." I say. "But I trust Angel here. I know he's not going to put me or our child in danger. I trust him. And I even kinda trust the Powers. They wouldn't put their seer in danger either.." I stop and smile gently. "You don't have to worry-"
"Yes I do!" He argues, cutting me off. "I have to worry. I can't sit back and pretend that in this world we live in..that in the line of work we're associated with everything's gonna be perfect. Something always seems to go wrong..I..I have to worry about you and my baby..I have to. If I wasn't worried, you'd have to be worried about me."
"Lindsey.." I begin. I really don't know what to say. There are so many things I want to tell him..But I don't know where to start. I decide to start with the most important part. "I love you. You know that, right?"
He uses his beautiful blue eyes to look me over. I smile at him as his hands move up and cup my face. "I know." He whispers. All the love in the world fills his voice. "I love you too. You know that, right?"
I close my eyes and nod lightly. "You wouldn't be here with me right now if you didn't." I whisper in response.
"Good." His lips have moved closer. I can feel them brush against my own as he speaks. Softly he presses his lips to mine, a tender gesture to remind me just how much he cares.
I return the kiss and run my hand through his soft hair. As we pull away, I keep my eyes closed, savouring the moment. It's not that different to any of the other kisses we've shared, but I still want to enjoy every second of being with Lindsey. It still seems completely surreal.
"Marry me?" He murmurs.
I hear his words and my eyes fly open. "What?" I ask incredulously. "Did you just ask me to..What I mean is..Did you mean to.." I'm finding it hard to piece my thoughts together. I look at him, feeling the tears prickling at my eyes and I try to bat them away. He couldn't have meant that..could he? I mean, he couldn't have planned it..It must have been on the spur of the moment..So does he mean it? Does he want to take it back?
He pulls my hands to his chest and holds them there. "I asked you to marry me." He responds. Smiling tenderly he adds, "And I did mean it. Cordelia," He slides off the bed and sits before me on bended knee, "Will you marry me?"
"Oh God..I..I..Wow.." A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek as I look down at him. I shake my thoughts clear and nod. "Yes."
"Really?" He asks. His eyes are gleaming and he can barely contain his excitement.
More tears start to roll down my face as I reach for him. I pull him up and guide my lips to his. "*Really* really. I love you..and I want to be your wife."
"I love you so much." Lindsey manages, right before we melt into a passionate kiss. Not 10 seconds later we are jolted out of it by a sharp rap at the door.
"Cordy..Is everything okay in there?" Angel calls.
I grunt in frustration as I pull away from Lindsey. "Yes!" I practically hiss. I stand up and look at Lindsey apologetically. "I'm sorry..I've gotta go. But hopefully, when I come back, we can continue this..*and* I should have an answer about keeping our baby safe from the vision crap."
I open the door as Lindsey stands up and walks over to me. Angel is staring at me with his usual intense gaze. He gives me a small smile and arches an eyebrow. "Ready?"
I look up at Lindsey, finding his arms wrapping around my waist. Smiling at my fiancé, I nod. Lindsey leans down and kisses me on the cheek. I twist around so that my lips have met his again. Reluctantly he pulls back. "Don't be long." He instructs, a smile creeping its way back onto his chiselled face.
I nod again and notice Angel standing in the doorway in obvious discomfort. "Anyway..We'd better get going. Right Angel?" I state. The vampire smiles at me, nods and even tries to smile at Lindsey. We both see right through his feeble attempt at being nice, but let it go. There's gonna be lots of time for arguments and awkward silence later.
God, it's going to hurt him when we announce the engagement, but I know he'll deal with it. He's my family and he knows how much I need him right now. He knows how much I need his support.
I have to force myself to leave Lindsey and walk down the hall with Angel. "So.." Angel says, breaking the not-so-comfortable silence. "Everything's going well? With Lindsey, I mean. You're happy?"
"Yes. I'm happy." I reply. "I'm more than happy right now." As my thoughts drift back to Lindsey, I start to think of the turn we've just taken. Looking everywhere but at Angel I quietly repeat, "We're more than happy.."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ah..The Oracles. Let's just say I'm not really comfortable here. The male is arguing with Angel, while the female keeps looking at my stomach almost whimsically. "Seer.." She says after a while. Her voice is soft and her tone measured. "You are with child now."
I have to smile. "That's not exactly something we didn't know."
She actually rolls her eyes at me. "I wasn't finished." She says, breaking every single one of her supposed 'mystical and cryptic' traits. A glare comes from the male and she straightens her back and seems to get back into character. "You are with child now, and are worried of the repercussions of your gift. You fear that your gift will be harmful. Is this correct?"
I lose my smile and sober up at mention of harm to my child. "Yes. It is."
"Your fears.." She begins, then pauses to glance over at her male protégé. He gestures for her to keep going. She looks back at me and continues. "Your fears were not without reason. Of course, it is too early to have caused any damage. As we do not allow any harm to come to innocent lives through our own gifts of good, we will allow you to make the appropriate decision as to what will happen. Let it to be known that it is up to you now." She stops for a second to let this sink in. After a moment she says, "You seek to rid yourself of your Gift. Is this correct?" I nod and she trails on. "It is not standard procedure to remove a seer's powers. This is usually forbidden. However, under the circumstances, We are prepared to relieve you of your visions, seer, but once they are gone.."
"I won't get them back." I finish for her. She nods and I look over at Angel. He's probably just heard the same news from the male and I can tell he's not too thrilled either. He looks over at me and I smile sadly. I look back at her. "But my baby will be safe?"
Her head bobs up and down in assurance. "No harm will come. Are you sure this is what you wish? As you are a messenger for the Powers That Be, certain measures *could* be taken and you could keep your gift..We've taken time backwards before-"
I'm horrified at what she's suggesting. "No!" I exclaim, my hand moving to my stomach in a protective gesture. I glare at her determinedly. "*Nobody* is taking my baby away from me. I *want* this-"
"But it was not foreseen..You had not planned-"
"Look. I know I didn't plan on getting pregnant..*Especially* not to Lindsey..And I'll admit that I wasn't exactly happy about it when I first found out..But I've had time to think about it..And I've realised that I love this baby." I lower my voice and try not to get too emotional. "And I love its father. I couldn't live knowing that-"
"Then you have made your decision? You choose to surrender your gift?" She asks sharply, cutting me off once more.
I look at her, resolve etched on all my features. My jaw set in place, I calmly state, "Yes. I choose to keep my baby, and keep it safe. I am giving up my visions."
She smiles serenely. "Then it is done." She leans forward and whispers so that the male can't hear, (though I doubt it matters if they are cosmically and psychically connected) "Good luck, *Ms* Chase."
My eyes widen in shock as she resumes her 'high-and-mighty' stance again. "How did you.."
"That, as you mortals say, is for me to know and you to never find out." Is her reply, followed by a sly wink.
I move to respond, but the walls are fading out around me and pretty soon I'm just standing in a dank, dark basement with Angel alone. I throw my hands into the air and look upwards, a huge grin breaking onto my face. "Thank you!" I call, my voice a whirlwind of emotions. I don't know how to feel right now. Happy that my child is safe from the visions? A little depressed that my job as Angel's seer is over and we don't share that bond anymore? Still in shock that she knew I was engaged? Worried about how to tell Angel about Lindsey and I? I don't care about how to feel right now, to tell you the truth. All I know is that sometimes we make choices and something right usually comes from them. Somehow I know that a lot of good has come from this. I just know.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As we trudge back to the Hyperion, Angel looks at me again. He hasn't said anything yet. I guess he's waiting for me to make the first move. I mean, I *should* be the first to speak, considering this is all happening because of me. But what do I say? There's so much..I just don't know where to start.
When he looks down at me once more I catch his eyes with mine. Swallowing, I open my mouth to say something. At this point, anything would be helpful. However, nothing comes out. I sigh disappointedly, and look back down at my feet, while Angel looks away again. We spend a few minutes in awkward silence until the words "Lindsey proposed." Fly out of my mouth.
Angel stops in his tracks. He spins to look at me, somewhere between devastated and shocked. "What?" He asks, his tone a mixture of the same emotions.
I look into his eyes. "Lindsey asked me to marry him."
The manpire in front of me looks as if he's about to hyperventilate. Slowly and quietly he asks, "What did you tell him?"
"I..I said yes." I prepare myself for the outburst of pent-up emotion, but it never comes.
Angel looks to the ground sadly. "Congratulations." He says.
"Thanks for the enthusiasm." I quip, trying to lighten the mood. No such luck. Okay, new approach. "Angel, look at me." He raises his eyes back up to me and I continue. "I know that you're not exactly happy about this..and I know that you're trying to accept Lindsey, I do, but I need you to try harder. I need you to be happy for me and I need you to accept this. But, most importantly, I need *you*. You're my family. If you're not gonna be here for me, I don't know what I'm gonna do.." The tears are forming again and I curse my hormones once more. "Angel..Please, don't hate me for this. Don't hate me. Please.."
His arms wrap around me and I bawl onto his shoulder. He gently rubs my back. "Cordy..I could never *ever* hate you. You don't expect me to believe that you thought I could, do you?"
I rub at my eyes and mumble, "I don't know..It's all so scary. I've changed everything. I'm not even your seer anymore.." And that thought sets me off again. I howl against him and sob even harder. "You can't still care about me after all of this..You can't..Not now..I'm not your seer..I never will be..I've ruined-"
"Cordelia." Angel's voice is firm as cuts me off and pulls me from his shoulder to look me in the eye. His stare is hard and determined, yet there is still that element of love in it that brings me comfort. "You are my family. My only family. No matter what happens, I'll *never* stop loving you. The seer-champion thing was just a mechanism that helped to make our bond stronger. I don't care if you're my seer or not. You will always be one of the most important women in my life. You've changed me and, damnit Cordy, I am so happy for you. And I'm so proud of you. The fact that you're happy is what's important to me. Not *why* you're happy, not *who's making* you happy, not even what measures you take in order to be happy..Just that you are. I can't begin to describe how much I care about you. Do you understand?"
I want to believe him, but I still can't help but think I'm hurting him. It's kinda funny, really. Once upon a time, I didn't give a damn what other people thought of me, especially Angel. I never even used to care whether my own parents were proud of me..But I can't bear the thought of disappointing, or upsetting, Angel.
Looking into his eyes, I realise he's waiting for my reply. I find myself nodding very slowly, wiping at my eyes and trying to control my hitching breath. "I know..But-"
"No." Again he cuts me off. "No 'but' anythings. Do you understand that you could never *ever* disappoint me?"
"I *could* though..And I have. I've made so many mistakes and-"
"We all make mistakes. But good things can come of them. And again I will tell you that you *cannot* disappoint me. You have *not* disappointed me. And if you even think of arguing with me one more time-"
"But I have to argue. Have you ever known me to keep my opinions to myself?"
He starts to chuckle a little at that. His gentle laughter is infectious and before long I'm giggling as well. After our laughing subsides, I smile up at him. "Thankyou..For everything. For understanding. For not hating me. For being here..Thankyou."
"No Cordy," He replies, shaking his head and starting forward once more. "Thank *you*."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Honey," I call playfully, stepping into the lobby of the Hyperion. "I'm home!"
Almost immediately, Lindsey appears in front of me, an almost relieved look on his face. I say 'almost' relieved, because even though I appear to be in a good mood, he's probably still worried about what the Oracles had to say. "Hey," He says, studying every inch of me carefully.
I smile. "I'm fine. Baby's fine too."
"Really?" He actually heaves a sigh of relief. "That's great. It's better than great..It's excellent! It sounds completely unprofessional, but I can't help saying 'I Told You So'." He runs forward and embraces me, lifting me off the ground and swinging me around with joy. I laugh and hug him tightly. When he puts me down, he becomes serious again. "What happened at the Oracles?"
I take a deep breath and explain everything. Every tiny detail of the conversation with the female still etched in my brain. When I get to the part where I give up my visions, Lindsey looks a little guilty.
"I'm sorry," He interrupts. "I know how much your visions meant to you."
I smile and take his hand in mine. "No. Don't be. I gave them up for something so much more special. For something I wouldn't have had without you."
He nods and I finish up the story. A few seconds later he asks, "How did Angel take it?"
"Oh..He said that he was happy for me. That as long as I was happy and safe, he was happy."
Lindsey shakes his head and looks to the ground. "I didn't really mean about the visions."
"Neither did I." I respond.
"So you told him about being engaged?" He sounds somewhere between relieved and surprised. He probably thought I was waiting until the right time or something.
Nodding, I reply, "Yeah. I did."
"And he didn't threaten to kill me?" I laugh a little at Lindsey's less- than-serious question. He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest in mock offence. "What? It was a serious question." I giggle even more and he grins, before sobering and asking in all seriousness, "He was honestly okay with it?"
"Well..when I told him about us he was a *little* taken aback, but he wasn't homicidal or anything like that. He just wants me to be happy. He wants what's best for me..And I've made it clear that *you* are what's best for me. *You* make me happy. And he accepts that." (I think..Or at least he's trying to accept that.)
My fiancé leans in and kisses me gently. There is so much that remains unspoken between us, but right now I'm happy without talking. There's been enough of that for one day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well..It's official. I'm putting on weight. This baby is making me fat. I knew that at 9 weeks it was supposed to be like 5cm long (or something to that measure)..but I never thought 5cm inside me could make a difference *outside* me. Of course, when I called to make the appointment for my first ultra-sound, my doctor pointed out that with the extra lining and stuff in my uterine wall, the swelling was gonna become more noticeable pretty much each day. Not so much to others mind you, but to me definitely. Still, I hate this already. I have a bump in my once-perfect cheerleader body. A growing bump. And as much as I'm gonna love this kid, if I can't look good in these clothes for at least another 2 weeks, I will be cranky.
"Cordy.." Linsey says, walking up behind me. "Please tell me you're not moping in front of the mirror again."
I spin on him, suddenly furious. "I *DON'T* mope! If you even *think* that again I'll have Dennis kick you out!" As I say it, a hairbrush bobs up and down excitedly in the air. (Dennis and Lindsey don't exactly get along too well.)
His eyes shine with laughter. "Uh huh." He says, not exactly sounding convinced. "Sure."
I hit him on the arm and indignantly turn back to my reflection. Like I said, it may not be noticeable to others but I can see my stomach protruding a little further than usual. I scrunch my nose up in disapproval and reach for my sweater. Once it's on, I look at the mirror and find that my bump is no longer noticeable, not even to me; The Woman With The Eagle Eye. Actually, I look pretty damn good. (Especially for someone that spent a good half hour throwing up this morning.) I took a leaf out of Angel's book and went for black pants and a deep red, almost maroon, sweater. And as much as I like to tell him how important colours are, I gotta admit the outfit looks excellent.
Now that I'm satisfied with the way I look, I turn back to Lindsey. "Okay," I begin. "I'm ready."
He beams back at me. "It's about time." Sliding his arms around my waist, he pulls me in for a kiss.
The hairbrush drops down onto my bed, almost indignantly, and I can only imagine Dennis pouting. The thought causes me to giggle and Lindsey pulls away, looking less than impressed.
"Hey.." He says, "The last time I got that sort of reaction from a girl when I went in for the kiss was in 5th grade..and she wasn't exactly a pro either-"
I burst into fits of laughter. He crosses his arms over his chest defensively. "Two words: Not Funny."
"No." I manage to gasp between laughs. "It's not that.." I pause and giggle even more. "It's just you're sooo gorgeous. I was laughing at Dennis and-" At this, my bedroom door wings open and shuts dramatically.
"I think you just hurt Casper's feelings." Lindsey informs me in a tone that is *way* too serious.
I roll my eyes and try to calm myself. "Don't call him that." I chuckle.
"Oh right. 'Cos 'Phantom Dennis' is much better."
I narrow my eyes, but my continual giggling gives me away. Forcing myself to sober up, I look at Lindsey and point at the bed. "Sit and Stay."
As I move out the door, I can hear Lindsey call after me. "Hey! I'm not a dog! Not even your lapdog! I refuse to be treated like I am. I object!"
I turn. "Did I say 'Speak'?"
His reply is a tiny "No."
I smile to myself. "Good. Now Stay."
I make my way into the kitchen and attempt to make peace with Dennis. Once that issue is settled, Lindsey and I make our way to the Hyperion. Even though I'm not the seer anymore, I still have work to do there. And I need to discuss Maternity Leave with my employer(s). Lindsey's even volunteered to help Wes with research and stuff, which I think is so sweet. After we check in, I've gotta head of to the doctor. Got my first sonogram today. I can't wait to see a picture of my baby. I wonder whether it's a girl or a boy? Do I even want to know? I mean..Lindsey might want a surprise.
Oh Crap! Lindsey! I forgot to tell him about the appointment. I wonder if he'll want to come too.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What do you mean this is the first time you're going?!" Lindsey exclaims angrily.
We're currently at the Hyperion, and every set of eyes is on me. Connor whinges, and as Angel picks him up, he looks at me. "I'm gonna agree with Lindsey on this one. Isn't it customary to go..like..right after you find out or something?"
"Gee," I respond, sounding frustrated. I place my hands on my hips as I speak. "There's an idea. Now..Lets see..After *I* found out, I was in a state of shock. I had to figure out what I was gonna do, how I was gonna tell you..whether I'd even be able to tell Lindsey..I had to come to *work* no less, with those thoughts bugging me. Seriously, the last thought on my mind was booking an appointment to have the kid's photo taken."
Lindsey shakes his head and moves towards me. "I think it's a little more important than that." He says. "To make sure that the baby is healthy and-"
"I hate to admit this, but the baby's health? Not exactly the first thing I thought about." I reply, cutting him off. "I mean, when I found out..I didn't think of it as a baby..I thought of it as an obstacle. I was being selfish..I was in shock. And then, by the time I was ready to accept it, all the crap with Wolfram & Hart started up..and I got sidetracked."
Lindsey nods slowly. "What time's your appointment?" He asks, realising that no amount of arguing or telling me what I should have done is going to change what has been and gone.
"Eleven." I answer. "You wanna come?"
A huge grin crawls across his face. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Miss Chase?"
Lindsey and I look up as my name is called. A pretty nurse with short blonde hair is smiling at me. "The doctor will see you now." She tells us.
"Thanks," I reply, standing up along side Lindsey.
She starts to walk down the hall and we follow her into the examination room. She hands me one of those hospital gown things. "Here," She says, "Dr. Kline will be here any second." She moves and draws across a curtain to provide me with a make-shift change room.
After I'm changed, she helps me onto the examination table and prepares me for the sonogram, making with the small talk as she does. When the doctor walks in, she smiles at us and wishes us luck.
We thank her and the doctor introduces himself. "Hi," He says, his green eyes shining, "Cordelia, was it? I'm doctor Kline." He extends his hand, smiling. "But it's a bit too formal for me, so you can call me Nick."
Lindsey grunts, clearly unhappy that my obstetrician is a man, a young man at that, and that I'm getting along with him so well. Gotta admit the guy is kinda..okay..really good looking. Think George Clooney in his ER days, only in his 20s.
I ignore Lindsey's obvious discomfort and smile back at the man from my slightly-reclined state, leaning forward, taking his hand and shaking it lightly. "Nice to meet you." Lindsey clears his throat pointedly and glares at me. I hit my forehead and pretend to look sheepish. "Oh my god!" I proclaim, "I'm sorry. I swear I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on." I giggle and point to my fiancé, though you would never guess he was with the way I'm flirting here. Honest to god I don't know why I am. It's like I'm suddenly on heat or something. Hang on..Its gotta be the hormones again. Shaking my thoughts away, I say "This is Lindsey."
Lindsey takes Nick's hand and shakes it gruffly. "Not to sound rude or anything," He begins, "But aren't you a little young to be in this line of work?"
"Lindsey," I hiss angrily.
Nick chuckles. "No.. It's okay. I get that a lot. Its amazing the number of people that are concerned about my experience." He looks at Lindsey. "I promise you I know what I'm doing here. I've delivered 219 babies this past few months alone. And each one is safe and healthy. It's completely natural for an expecting father to want the very best for his family."
Lindsey nods and smiles. "Yeah..I want the best for both of them. And so long as you are, we've got nothing to worry about."
"Then we're all good here." I jump in. Both men turn to look at me and I throw my hands in the air. "So..when is the fun stuff gonna start?"
Nick laughs and assumes his place next to me, fiddling with some buttons on the sonograph machine. Lindsey takes my hand and sits down on my other side. The doctor glances at us and powers up the monitor. "Okay guys, ready to see your baby?"
We nod enthusiastically, and he places the cold, rollie thing on my stomach. I giggle at first, but get used to the feeling after a while. He tells us that it might take a few seconds for the image to appear on the screen and puts on some headphones so he can hear the heartbeat.
"Hmm.That's interesting." He says.
Both Lindsey and I snap our attention towards him. "What? What's interesting?" We rush.
Nick looks at us, grins, and asks, "You haven't had a sonogram yet? This is your first time?"
We nod slowly and watch as his grin widens. I am *THIS* close to slapping that look of his face and screaming for a straight answer. I can tell Lindsey is thinking something along the same lines 'cos his hand grips mine a little bit harder and he tries not to bark, "So..What's going on?"
Dr. Kline pulls out the headphones and turns the volume up, at the same time as pointing at the monitor. "Congratulations." He says.
My jaw drops open when I realise what's happening. The super fast, double beating is pounding in my ears and I look at the image in shock. Lindsey leans forward and gazes at the screen, obviously trying to force the words out of his mouth.
"I-is that..I mean.. Am I right in assuming.." He rambles. "I mean.. Are we having.." He trails off, somehow knowing the answer.
Nick laughs again, and finishes Lindsey's sentence. "Twins?"
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A/N- Dum Dum Dum..lol..Sorry..There we go. One more clichéd and horribly predictable chapter by yours truly. However, I kinda liked this one, so be nice and review. I mean it. The next chapter is already on its' way.all you need to do is review and it'll be up ASAP.
BTW, Much thanks to Imzadi again. I promise the next chapter will be up ASAP. (I just gotta write it first.)
PS- Please read and review my other fic, 'Alternate Reality or a Different Dimension' (completed..pondering a sequel) and keep an eye out for Mrs O- Town and my fic 'Drawn To You' (6th chapter on its way sometime soon..I think) ^_^
A/N- Hmmm..That last chapter was a flop. I've been getting email type feedback though, and I've had a new burst of inspiration for this. ^_^ LOTS AND LOTS OF THANKS TO IMZADI. A lot of the ideas are hers and I really would have been lost without her help. So I'm really in her debt at the moment. ^_^ Anywhos..with the Scoobies gone, I'm gonna start winding up from here. I'm thinking 3-4 more chapters and an epilogue are all that's required now. More information will be revealed in later chapters. I promise. For now, all I ask is that you read and review. Simple enough? Good. Thanks again for your support.
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"Cordelia!" Angel's voice calls for the fifth time. "We've gotta get going now!"
He's been pacing around downstairs for a while now. "Hang on!" I shout back. I glance at Lindsey through the dresser mirror. He's not looking too impressed. In fact, I'd say he's looking a little ticked off. I sigh and catch his gaze through the reflection. "Alright," I begin, turning around to look at him face-to-face. "What's up?"
Lindsey shrugs nonchalantly and forces a smile. "What do you mean?"
Rolling my eyes, I move to sit beside him on the bed. I take his hand in mine and look into his eyes. "Its obvious something is bugging you..You're not exactly putting out a happy vibe."
"When did you become Lorne?" He raises an eyebrow and smirks a little.
Although I'd usually find the gesture cute, I see it for the lame attempt at shifting my attention that it is, and I frown at him. "Lindsey..We've had this conversation before. You've gotta start *talking* to me."
Suddenly it seems as if he's finding his shoes extremely interesting. "You're not gonna like what's bugging me." He mutters.
I reach out and lift his chin up. He looks at me and I sigh for dramatic emphasis. "Listen to me. We're having a baby. If we can't communicate with each other.." I trail off. I know I've made my point. "..This is another Angel related thing, isn't it?" I ask after a few moments silence.
Lindsey nods. "I'm just..I'm worried. Angel..he.." He pauses and goes to rephrase. "I know that you guys are family..and that he is looking out for you..but I don't know about this Oracles thing. I mean..what if..what if going to see them..what if the baby.."
Now he's rambling, and voicing the fears that I was trying to keep hidden. "I know, sweetie." I say. "But I trust Angel here. I know he's not going to put me or our child in danger. I trust him. And I even kinda trust the Powers. They wouldn't put their seer in danger either.." I stop and smile gently. "You don't have to worry-"
"Yes I do!" He argues, cutting me off. "I have to worry. I can't sit back and pretend that in this world we live in..that in the line of work we're associated with everything's gonna be perfect. Something always seems to go wrong..I..I have to worry about you and my baby..I have to. If I wasn't worried, you'd have to be worried about me."
"Lindsey.." I begin. I really don't know what to say. There are so many things I want to tell him..But I don't know where to start. I decide to start with the most important part. "I love you. You know that, right?"
He uses his beautiful blue eyes to look me over. I smile at him as his hands move up and cup my face. "I know." He whispers. All the love in the world fills his voice. "I love you too. You know that, right?"
I close my eyes and nod lightly. "You wouldn't be here with me right now if you didn't." I whisper in response.
"Good." His lips have moved closer. I can feel them brush against my own as he speaks. Softly he presses his lips to mine, a tender gesture to remind me just how much he cares.
I return the kiss and run my hand through his soft hair. As we pull away, I keep my eyes closed, savouring the moment. It's not that different to any of the other kisses we've shared, but I still want to enjoy every second of being with Lindsey. It still seems completely surreal.
"Marry me?" He murmurs.
I hear his words and my eyes fly open. "What?" I ask incredulously. "Did you just ask me to..What I mean is..Did you mean to.." I'm finding it hard to piece my thoughts together. I look at him, feeling the tears prickling at my eyes and I try to bat them away. He couldn't have meant that..could he? I mean, he couldn't have planned it..It must have been on the spur of the moment..So does he mean it? Does he want to take it back?
He pulls my hands to his chest and holds them there. "I asked you to marry me." He responds. Smiling tenderly he adds, "And I did mean it. Cordelia," He slides off the bed and sits before me on bended knee, "Will you marry me?"
"Oh God..I..I..Wow.." A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek as I look down at him. I shake my thoughts clear and nod. "Yes."
"Really?" He asks. His eyes are gleaming and he can barely contain his excitement.
More tears start to roll down my face as I reach for him. I pull him up and guide my lips to his. "*Really* really. I love you..and I want to be your wife."
"I love you so much." Lindsey manages, right before we melt into a passionate kiss. Not 10 seconds later we are jolted out of it by a sharp rap at the door.
"Cordy..Is everything okay in there?" Angel calls.
I grunt in frustration as I pull away from Lindsey. "Yes!" I practically hiss. I stand up and look at Lindsey apologetically. "I'm sorry..I've gotta go. But hopefully, when I come back, we can continue this..*and* I should have an answer about keeping our baby safe from the vision crap."
I open the door as Lindsey stands up and walks over to me. Angel is staring at me with his usual intense gaze. He gives me a small smile and arches an eyebrow. "Ready?"
I look up at Lindsey, finding his arms wrapping around my waist. Smiling at my fiancé, I nod. Lindsey leans down and kisses me on the cheek. I twist around so that my lips have met his again. Reluctantly he pulls back. "Don't be long." He instructs, a smile creeping its way back onto his chiselled face.
I nod again and notice Angel standing in the doorway in obvious discomfort. "Anyway..We'd better get going. Right Angel?" I state. The vampire smiles at me, nods and even tries to smile at Lindsey. We both see right through his feeble attempt at being nice, but let it go. There's gonna be lots of time for arguments and awkward silence later.
God, it's going to hurt him when we announce the engagement, but I know he'll deal with it. He's my family and he knows how much I need him right now. He knows how much I need his support.
I have to force myself to leave Lindsey and walk down the hall with Angel. "So.." Angel says, breaking the not-so-comfortable silence. "Everything's going well? With Lindsey, I mean. You're happy?"
"Yes. I'm happy." I reply. "I'm more than happy right now." As my thoughts drift back to Lindsey, I start to think of the turn we've just taken. Looking everywhere but at Angel I quietly repeat, "We're more than happy.."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ah..The Oracles. Let's just say I'm not really comfortable here. The male is arguing with Angel, while the female keeps looking at my stomach almost whimsically. "Seer.." She says after a while. Her voice is soft and her tone measured. "You are with child now."
I have to smile. "That's not exactly something we didn't know."
She actually rolls her eyes at me. "I wasn't finished." She says, breaking every single one of her supposed 'mystical and cryptic' traits. A glare comes from the male and she straightens her back and seems to get back into character. "You are with child now, and are worried of the repercussions of your gift. You fear that your gift will be harmful. Is this correct?"
I lose my smile and sober up at mention of harm to my child. "Yes. It is."
"Your fears.." She begins, then pauses to glance over at her male protégé. He gestures for her to keep going. She looks back at me and continues. "Your fears were not without reason. Of course, it is too early to have caused any damage. As we do not allow any harm to come to innocent lives through our own gifts of good, we will allow you to make the appropriate decision as to what will happen. Let it to be known that it is up to you now." She stops for a second to let this sink in. After a moment she says, "You seek to rid yourself of your Gift. Is this correct?" I nod and she trails on. "It is not standard procedure to remove a seer's powers. This is usually forbidden. However, under the circumstances, We are prepared to relieve you of your visions, seer, but once they are gone.."
"I won't get them back." I finish for her. She nods and I look over at Angel. He's probably just heard the same news from the male and I can tell he's not too thrilled either. He looks over at me and I smile sadly. I look back at her. "But my baby will be safe?"
Her head bobs up and down in assurance. "No harm will come. Are you sure this is what you wish? As you are a messenger for the Powers That Be, certain measures *could* be taken and you could keep your gift..We've taken time backwards before-"
I'm horrified at what she's suggesting. "No!" I exclaim, my hand moving to my stomach in a protective gesture. I glare at her determinedly. "*Nobody* is taking my baby away from me. I *want* this-"
"But it was not foreseen..You had not planned-"
"Look. I know I didn't plan on getting pregnant..*Especially* not to Lindsey..And I'll admit that I wasn't exactly happy about it when I first found out..But I've had time to think about it..And I've realised that I love this baby." I lower my voice and try not to get too emotional. "And I love its father. I couldn't live knowing that-"
"Then you have made your decision? You choose to surrender your gift?" She asks sharply, cutting me off once more.
I look at her, resolve etched on all my features. My jaw set in place, I calmly state, "Yes. I choose to keep my baby, and keep it safe. I am giving up my visions."
She smiles serenely. "Then it is done." She leans forward and whispers so that the male can't hear, (though I doubt it matters if they are cosmically and psychically connected) "Good luck, *Ms* Chase."
My eyes widen in shock as she resumes her 'high-and-mighty' stance again. "How did you.."
"That, as you mortals say, is for me to know and you to never find out." Is her reply, followed by a sly wink.
I move to respond, but the walls are fading out around me and pretty soon I'm just standing in a dank, dark basement with Angel alone. I throw my hands into the air and look upwards, a huge grin breaking onto my face. "Thank you!" I call, my voice a whirlwind of emotions. I don't know how to feel right now. Happy that my child is safe from the visions? A little depressed that my job as Angel's seer is over and we don't share that bond anymore? Still in shock that she knew I was engaged? Worried about how to tell Angel about Lindsey and I? I don't care about how to feel right now, to tell you the truth. All I know is that sometimes we make choices and something right usually comes from them. Somehow I know that a lot of good has come from this. I just know.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As we trudge back to the Hyperion, Angel looks at me again. He hasn't said anything yet. I guess he's waiting for me to make the first move. I mean, I *should* be the first to speak, considering this is all happening because of me. But what do I say? There's so much..I just don't know where to start.
When he looks down at me once more I catch his eyes with mine. Swallowing, I open my mouth to say something. At this point, anything would be helpful. However, nothing comes out. I sigh disappointedly, and look back down at my feet, while Angel looks away again. We spend a few minutes in awkward silence until the words "Lindsey proposed." Fly out of my mouth.
Angel stops in his tracks. He spins to look at me, somewhere between devastated and shocked. "What?" He asks, his tone a mixture of the same emotions.
I look into his eyes. "Lindsey asked me to marry him."
The manpire in front of me looks as if he's about to hyperventilate. Slowly and quietly he asks, "What did you tell him?"
"I..I said yes." I prepare myself for the outburst of pent-up emotion, but it never comes.
Angel looks to the ground sadly. "Congratulations." He says.
"Thanks for the enthusiasm." I quip, trying to lighten the mood. No such luck. Okay, new approach. "Angel, look at me." He raises his eyes back up to me and I continue. "I know that you're not exactly happy about this..and I know that you're trying to accept Lindsey, I do, but I need you to try harder. I need you to be happy for me and I need you to accept this. But, most importantly, I need *you*. You're my family. If you're not gonna be here for me, I don't know what I'm gonna do.." The tears are forming again and I curse my hormones once more. "Angel..Please, don't hate me for this. Don't hate me. Please.."
His arms wrap around me and I bawl onto his shoulder. He gently rubs my back. "Cordy..I could never *ever* hate you. You don't expect me to believe that you thought I could, do you?"
I rub at my eyes and mumble, "I don't know..It's all so scary. I've changed everything. I'm not even your seer anymore.." And that thought sets me off again. I howl against him and sob even harder. "You can't still care about me after all of this..You can't..Not now..I'm not your seer..I never will be..I've ruined-"
"Cordelia." Angel's voice is firm as cuts me off and pulls me from his shoulder to look me in the eye. His stare is hard and determined, yet there is still that element of love in it that brings me comfort. "You are my family. My only family. No matter what happens, I'll *never* stop loving you. The seer-champion thing was just a mechanism that helped to make our bond stronger. I don't care if you're my seer or not. You will always be one of the most important women in my life. You've changed me and, damnit Cordy, I am so happy for you. And I'm so proud of you. The fact that you're happy is what's important to me. Not *why* you're happy, not *who's making* you happy, not even what measures you take in order to be happy..Just that you are. I can't begin to describe how much I care about you. Do you understand?"
I want to believe him, but I still can't help but think I'm hurting him. It's kinda funny, really. Once upon a time, I didn't give a damn what other people thought of me, especially Angel. I never even used to care whether my own parents were proud of me..But I can't bear the thought of disappointing, or upsetting, Angel.
Looking into his eyes, I realise he's waiting for my reply. I find myself nodding very slowly, wiping at my eyes and trying to control my hitching breath. "I know..But-"
"No." Again he cuts me off. "No 'but' anythings. Do you understand that you could never *ever* disappoint me?"
"I *could* though..And I have. I've made so many mistakes and-"
"We all make mistakes. But good things can come of them. And again I will tell you that you *cannot* disappoint me. You have *not* disappointed me. And if you even think of arguing with me one more time-"
"But I have to argue. Have you ever known me to keep my opinions to myself?"
He starts to chuckle a little at that. His gentle laughter is infectious and before long I'm giggling as well. After our laughing subsides, I smile up at him. "Thankyou..For everything. For understanding. For not hating me. For being here..Thankyou."
"No Cordy," He replies, shaking his head and starting forward once more. "Thank *you*."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Honey," I call playfully, stepping into the lobby of the Hyperion. "I'm home!"
Almost immediately, Lindsey appears in front of me, an almost relieved look on his face. I say 'almost' relieved, because even though I appear to be in a good mood, he's probably still worried about what the Oracles had to say. "Hey," He says, studying every inch of me carefully.
I smile. "I'm fine. Baby's fine too."
"Really?" He actually heaves a sigh of relief. "That's great. It's better than great..It's excellent! It sounds completely unprofessional, but I can't help saying 'I Told You So'." He runs forward and embraces me, lifting me off the ground and swinging me around with joy. I laugh and hug him tightly. When he puts me down, he becomes serious again. "What happened at the Oracles?"
I take a deep breath and explain everything. Every tiny detail of the conversation with the female still etched in my brain. When I get to the part where I give up my visions, Lindsey looks a little guilty.
"I'm sorry," He interrupts. "I know how much your visions meant to you."
I smile and take his hand in mine. "No. Don't be. I gave them up for something so much more special. For something I wouldn't have had without you."
He nods and I finish up the story. A few seconds later he asks, "How did Angel take it?"
"Oh..He said that he was happy for me. That as long as I was happy and safe, he was happy."
Lindsey shakes his head and looks to the ground. "I didn't really mean about the visions."
"Neither did I." I respond.
"So you told him about being engaged?" He sounds somewhere between relieved and surprised. He probably thought I was waiting until the right time or something.
Nodding, I reply, "Yeah. I did."
"And he didn't threaten to kill me?" I laugh a little at Lindsey's less- than-serious question. He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest in mock offence. "What? It was a serious question." I giggle even more and he grins, before sobering and asking in all seriousness, "He was honestly okay with it?"
"Well..when I told him about us he was a *little* taken aback, but he wasn't homicidal or anything like that. He just wants me to be happy. He wants what's best for me..And I've made it clear that *you* are what's best for me. *You* make me happy. And he accepts that." (I think..Or at least he's trying to accept that.)
My fiancé leans in and kisses me gently. There is so much that remains unspoken between us, but right now I'm happy without talking. There's been enough of that for one day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well..It's official. I'm putting on weight. This baby is making me fat. I knew that at 9 weeks it was supposed to be like 5cm long (or something to that measure)..but I never thought 5cm inside me could make a difference *outside* me. Of course, when I called to make the appointment for my first ultra-sound, my doctor pointed out that with the extra lining and stuff in my uterine wall, the swelling was gonna become more noticeable pretty much each day. Not so much to others mind you, but to me definitely. Still, I hate this already. I have a bump in my once-perfect cheerleader body. A growing bump. And as much as I'm gonna love this kid, if I can't look good in these clothes for at least another 2 weeks, I will be cranky.
"Cordy.." Linsey says, walking up behind me. "Please tell me you're not moping in front of the mirror again."
I spin on him, suddenly furious. "I *DON'T* mope! If you even *think* that again I'll have Dennis kick you out!" As I say it, a hairbrush bobs up and down excitedly in the air. (Dennis and Lindsey don't exactly get along too well.)
His eyes shine with laughter. "Uh huh." He says, not exactly sounding convinced. "Sure."
I hit him on the arm and indignantly turn back to my reflection. Like I said, it may not be noticeable to others but I can see my stomach protruding a little further than usual. I scrunch my nose up in disapproval and reach for my sweater. Once it's on, I look at the mirror and find that my bump is no longer noticeable, not even to me; The Woman With The Eagle Eye. Actually, I look pretty damn good. (Especially for someone that spent a good half hour throwing up this morning.) I took a leaf out of Angel's book and went for black pants and a deep red, almost maroon, sweater. And as much as I like to tell him how important colours are, I gotta admit the outfit looks excellent.
Now that I'm satisfied with the way I look, I turn back to Lindsey. "Okay," I begin. "I'm ready."
He beams back at me. "It's about time." Sliding his arms around my waist, he pulls me in for a kiss.
The hairbrush drops down onto my bed, almost indignantly, and I can only imagine Dennis pouting. The thought causes me to giggle and Lindsey pulls away, looking less than impressed.
"Hey.." He says, "The last time I got that sort of reaction from a girl when I went in for the kiss was in 5th grade..and she wasn't exactly a pro either-"
I burst into fits of laughter. He crosses his arms over his chest defensively. "Two words: Not Funny."
"No." I manage to gasp between laughs. "It's not that.." I pause and giggle even more. "It's just you're sooo gorgeous. I was laughing at Dennis and-" At this, my bedroom door wings open and shuts dramatically.
"I think you just hurt Casper's feelings." Lindsey informs me in a tone that is *way* too serious.
I roll my eyes and try to calm myself. "Don't call him that." I chuckle.
"Oh right. 'Cos 'Phantom Dennis' is much better."
I narrow my eyes, but my continual giggling gives me away. Forcing myself to sober up, I look at Lindsey and point at the bed. "Sit and Stay."
As I move out the door, I can hear Lindsey call after me. "Hey! I'm not a dog! Not even your lapdog! I refuse to be treated like I am. I object!"
I turn. "Did I say 'Speak'?"
His reply is a tiny "No."
I smile to myself. "Good. Now Stay."
I make my way into the kitchen and attempt to make peace with Dennis. Once that issue is settled, Lindsey and I make our way to the Hyperion. Even though I'm not the seer anymore, I still have work to do there. And I need to discuss Maternity Leave with my employer(s). Lindsey's even volunteered to help Wes with research and stuff, which I think is so sweet. After we check in, I've gotta head of to the doctor. Got my first sonogram today. I can't wait to see a picture of my baby. I wonder whether it's a girl or a boy? Do I even want to know? I mean..Lindsey might want a surprise.
Oh Crap! Lindsey! I forgot to tell him about the appointment. I wonder if he'll want to come too.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"What do you mean this is the first time you're going?!" Lindsey exclaims angrily.
We're currently at the Hyperion, and every set of eyes is on me. Connor whinges, and as Angel picks him up, he looks at me. "I'm gonna agree with Lindsey on this one. Isn't it customary to go..like..right after you find out or something?"
"Gee," I respond, sounding frustrated. I place my hands on my hips as I speak. "There's an idea. Now..Lets see..After *I* found out, I was in a state of shock. I had to figure out what I was gonna do, how I was gonna tell you..whether I'd even be able to tell Lindsey..I had to come to *work* no less, with those thoughts bugging me. Seriously, the last thought on my mind was booking an appointment to have the kid's photo taken."
Lindsey shakes his head and moves towards me. "I think it's a little more important than that." He says. "To make sure that the baby is healthy and-"
"I hate to admit this, but the baby's health? Not exactly the first thing I thought about." I reply, cutting him off. "I mean, when I found out..I didn't think of it as a baby..I thought of it as an obstacle. I was being selfish..I was in shock. And then, by the time I was ready to accept it, all the crap with Wolfram & Hart started up..and I got sidetracked."
Lindsey nods slowly. "What time's your appointment?" He asks, realising that no amount of arguing or telling me what I should have done is going to change what has been and gone.
"Eleven." I answer. "You wanna come?"
A huge grin crawls across his face. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Miss Chase?"
Lindsey and I look up as my name is called. A pretty nurse with short blonde hair is smiling at me. "The doctor will see you now." She tells us.
"Thanks," I reply, standing up along side Lindsey.
She starts to walk down the hall and we follow her into the examination room. She hands me one of those hospital gown things. "Here," She says, "Dr. Kline will be here any second." She moves and draws across a curtain to provide me with a make-shift change room.
After I'm changed, she helps me onto the examination table and prepares me for the sonogram, making with the small talk as she does. When the doctor walks in, she smiles at us and wishes us luck.
We thank her and the doctor introduces himself. "Hi," He says, his green eyes shining, "Cordelia, was it? I'm doctor Kline." He extends his hand, smiling. "But it's a bit too formal for me, so you can call me Nick."
Lindsey grunts, clearly unhappy that my obstetrician is a man, a young man at that, and that I'm getting along with him so well. Gotta admit the guy is kinda..okay..really good looking. Think George Clooney in his ER days, only in his 20s.
I ignore Lindsey's obvious discomfort and smile back at the man from my slightly-reclined state, leaning forward, taking his hand and shaking it lightly. "Nice to meet you." Lindsey clears his throat pointedly and glares at me. I hit my forehead and pretend to look sheepish. "Oh my god!" I proclaim, "I'm sorry. I swear I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on." I giggle and point to my fiancé, though you would never guess he was with the way I'm flirting here. Honest to god I don't know why I am. It's like I'm suddenly on heat or something. Hang on..Its gotta be the hormones again. Shaking my thoughts away, I say "This is Lindsey."
Lindsey takes Nick's hand and shakes it gruffly. "Not to sound rude or anything," He begins, "But aren't you a little young to be in this line of work?"
"Lindsey," I hiss angrily.
Nick chuckles. "No.. It's okay. I get that a lot. Its amazing the number of people that are concerned about my experience." He looks at Lindsey. "I promise you I know what I'm doing here. I've delivered 219 babies this past few months alone. And each one is safe and healthy. It's completely natural for an expecting father to want the very best for his family."
Lindsey nods and smiles. "Yeah..I want the best for both of them. And so long as you are, we've got nothing to worry about."
"Then we're all good here." I jump in. Both men turn to look at me and I throw my hands in the air. "So..when is the fun stuff gonna start?"
Nick laughs and assumes his place next to me, fiddling with some buttons on the sonograph machine. Lindsey takes my hand and sits down on my other side. The doctor glances at us and powers up the monitor. "Okay guys, ready to see your baby?"
We nod enthusiastically, and he places the cold, rollie thing on my stomach. I giggle at first, but get used to the feeling after a while. He tells us that it might take a few seconds for the image to appear on the screen and puts on some headphones so he can hear the heartbeat.
"Hmm.That's interesting." He says.
Both Lindsey and I snap our attention towards him. "What? What's interesting?" We rush.
Nick looks at us, grins, and asks, "You haven't had a sonogram yet? This is your first time?"
We nod slowly and watch as his grin widens. I am *THIS* close to slapping that look of his face and screaming for a straight answer. I can tell Lindsey is thinking something along the same lines 'cos his hand grips mine a little bit harder and he tries not to bark, "So..What's going on?"
Dr. Kline pulls out the headphones and turns the volume up, at the same time as pointing at the monitor. "Congratulations." He says.
My jaw drops open when I realise what's happening. The super fast, double beating is pounding in my ears and I look at the image in shock. Lindsey leans forward and gazes at the screen, obviously trying to force the words out of his mouth.
"I-is that..I mean.. Am I right in assuming.." He rambles. "I mean.. Are we having.." He trails off, somehow knowing the answer.
Nick laughs again, and finishes Lindsey's sentence. "Twins?"
*******************************
A/N- Dum Dum Dum..lol..Sorry..There we go. One more clichéd and horribly predictable chapter by yours truly. However, I kinda liked this one, so be nice and review. I mean it. The next chapter is already on its' way.all you need to do is review and it'll be up ASAP.
BTW, Much thanks to Imzadi again. I promise the next chapter will be up ASAP. (I just gotta write it first.)
PS- Please read and review my other fic, 'Alternate Reality or a Different Dimension' (completed..pondering a sequel) and keep an eye out for Mrs O- Town and my fic 'Drawn To You' (6th chapter on its way sometime soon..I think) ^_^