Chapter 8
* * *
Jess walked in to the diner at half past three. Even though it was a five minute walk from the school, Luke let it slide.
"I need you to get on," he told Jess as he ran some food to a table of two female tourists. When he set the plates down, the pretty brunette winked at him. Luke blinked. He wasn't used to open flirting. He gave a quick smile back and turned back to his nephew.
Who had already started up the stairs. "I said, get on."
"Get on what? The counter? I could do a little dance but Patty's not here and I'd rather wait for her to come so I can make more money."
"Get on the floor, get on shift, do you need me to draw you a picture?"
Jess sighed. "I just got back. I should at least get to watch the after school specials."
"Shove it and get on."
"Fine, but without those specials I'll never find out that drugs are bad."
Luke ignored him. "And don't go upstairs. Lorelai's sleeping."
"Tired her out, did you?"
Luke threw the apron at him as hard as it was possible to throw an apron. "Money is the brick that paves the path to financial independence. The more you work now, the sooner you can get out of here when you graduate. So work."
Jess put the apron on and turned his back to Luke. 'Money is the brick that paves the path to financial independence?' Where the hell did Luke come up with that crap? He grabbed the coffee pot and went over to the table with the two women. "Hey pretty ladies, more coffee?"
The blonde giggled and whispered to her friend, loud enough so Jess could hear, "Ooh, now there're two of them." Jess filled their cups, winked, and walked away.
He could hear their giggling. "Yeah, I'm good," he assured himself.
* * *
Lorelai woke up, in a semi-dark room. As her eyes were adjusting to the dim sunlight that filtered through the curtains, her brain started freaking out, wanting to know just where the hell she was and demanding her eyes work faster at resolving the question. She soon recognized the pattern on the curtains, and knew she was in Luke's apartment. Then realized she was in his bed. Her head hurt.
"Did I get drunk?" she wondered, and lifted her left arm so she could brush the sleep from her eyes. She hit herself in the forehead with her cast. "Ow."
Then it all came to her. Her super graceful tumble down the porch stairs, her exciting morning spent at the hospital, waiting around with a pain in her arm and a bump on her head until the heart attack and stroke patients were taken care of and they could spare a doctor for her. Luke had been there at the end, of that she was certain. She only remembered parts of their conversation clearly. There was something about Bob Villa, but he couldn't have been there. Could he? But she vividly recalled a forgiveness pact, and if it wasn't her imagination playing a cruel trick, it meant there would be no more fighting. Yay.
But not yay to her arm, which was throbbing. And the back of her head still hurt. Slowly, she got out of Luke's bed- she was in Luke's bed, her brain pointed out- and walked to the living room area. "Uh, Luke? Jess?"
Wow, she had to pee. She went to the bathroom, then decided to head downstairs and find Luke. Or get coffee. Or both.
* * *
Luke was just about to go check on Lorelai when he saw her standing at the foot of the stairs. He hurriedly refilled the two women's coffees for the sixth time or so then walked over to her, pot still in hand.
"Go back upstairs and rest some more."
"Oh, you brought me coffee," Lorelai reached for the pot. Luke held it over her head where she definitely couldn't reach it.
The brunette woman watched the exchange from across the diner and pouted. "Damn, he has a girlfriend."
"Upstairs. You need to sleep."
"I need coffee. And any type of movie-star strength pain killer." She reached for the coffee pot with her good arm. Jess appeared by her side like he was David Copperfield and stuck a mug of coffee in her hand, then was just as suddenly gone. "Whoa, that kid's sneaky," she muttered, then took a giant sip. Then she frowned. "This better not be decaf."
"It's not," Jess called, already across the restaurant, in front of the women's table. He'd only given it to her so he wouldn't have to witness another 'Please, Luke!' 'No.' 'Please, Luke!' 'No!' bit. It wasn't out of the kindness of his heart, but the weakness of his stomach.
"I left the pills and some water on the nightstand. Go back up and get them. And stay in the bed, 'cause they knock you out and I'm not carrying you around again."
"Hmm…ordering me to stay in your bed and drugged, to boot. Whatcha planning on doing to me?"
Luke flushed and pointed up the stairs. "Go, now." Why did she make everything so difficult?
"I'm going. But I really don't think it's a good idea to let me take prescription medication on an empty stomach…" she looked up hopefully at him and batted her eyelashes.
"I'll bring you something up in a few minutes."
She went back upstairs and Luke went to the kitchen to make her something. He overheard Jess talking to the two women.
"So, what're your names?"
"Mary," one said.
"Let me guess, you're Sue?" he said to the other.
She giggled. "No, I'm also Mary. We're both Mary."
"How contrary," Jess sardonically replied.
The women giggled. Luke wished the pancakes would cook faster.
* * *
Luke found Lorelai sitting in his bed and was somewhat surprised to see she was obeying him. The drugs must not have worn off completely. He handed her the plate of pancakes.
"Ha ha. There better be a burger wedged between those babies."
"The doctor said your cholesterol was high and to lower the amount of red meat you have."
"Liar. I don't remember him saying that." She started eating the pancakes anyhow.
"He said it after you fell asleep. I knew you wouldn't believe me, so I had him write a note." He pulled said note out of his pocket and handed it to her. She read it and frowned.
"You paid him off." She crumbled it up and threw it aside. He picked it up and put it back in his pocket.
"No I didn't."
"Please, it also says in there I should cut down on coffee. That is an obvious sign you had something to do with it."
"You don't pay doctors off, it's not like they're mafia-corrupted cops. Hippocratic oath ring a bell?"
"Whatever." She finished the pancakes and handed the empty plate to him. It had taken her all of a minute to eat them.
"There's still a crumb or two left, Miss Piggy."
Lorelai snatched the plate and licked the whole thing clean, then handed it back to him. "Oink."
"Gosh, that's attractive." He put the plate on the nightstand and stood there. She'd taken the pills he'd left for her, and he reminded himself to call Babette for the rest of them.
Lorelai's eyes widened. "Rory!" she remembered.
"I called her. She wasn't in. I'll call her again later."
"You're a good man, Luke Danes."
"Yeah, just don't go around repeating that." He picked up her empty plate, and pulled the covers over her. "Go to sleep. Dr. Cox said you needed to rest and that since you're all hopped up on dope you should be watched. Babette's getting the rest of your prescription filled, and I'll take you home after I close tonight."
"Who's gonna watch me at home?"
"I'll put Pierpont on the couch."
"Okay." Lorelai yawned. Luke took that as a cue to leave.
* * *
The phone rang in Paris' and Rory's room and Paris
glared at her. Rory glared back and said, "Just get it." Only it sounded more
like "rus ret ih" because
she was brushing her teeth.
"Hello," Paris said in a voice that certainly wouldn't have landed her a job as a telephone representative.
"Yeah, is uh, Rory there?" a gruff voice asked.
"Rory it's a man for you."
Luke, who was using Lorelai's cell phone and standing outside the diner because he wasn't a hypocrite, cringed. He knew that voice. That was the scary girl that demanded to see his prostitutes and drugs. He hoped he wouldn't have to talk to her.
Rory finished brushing her teeth and wiped her mouth. "Ooh, a man." She took the phone. "Hello?"
"Rory, it's Luke."
"I figured. A little surprised, though. What's up?"
"Well, I'm calling to tell you, since your mom's asleep right now."
Rory's eyes bugged and her mouth dropped. "Ew! No, don't tell me this, I don't want to know!"
"What? Rory, your mom tripped and fell down the porch stairs and broke her arm."
"What? How'd that happen? Is she okay?" Rory was relieved that Luke was not calling to tell her about him and her mom and sex, but she was still super worried.
"She'll be fine, it's just a hairline fracture, and a bump on the back of her head. Almost like your escapade. It's kind of funny, in that way of it not being funny at all."
"Well, you know what they say, like daughter, like mother. How'd she fall down the stairs? If it was Sookie I wouldn't need to ask, but Mom's not really clumsy."
"Yeah, well that was kind of my fault."
"Okay, I know you guys weren't getting along but I didn't think you would push her down the stairs, Luke!"
He explained how the box he'd left initiated the whole incident.
"Does leaving a box for her mean you guys aren't fighting anymore?" Rory tried not to sound too hopeful or excited.
"Something like that. I'm really, really, really sorry, Rory. I didn't mean to hurt her."
She smiled; her mom had been so miserable for the past month. Maybe now things would get better. "It's okay, it wasn't on purpose. Believe me, I get it."
"Yeah. I was wondering if it was irony or satire."
"I think it's just coincidence."
"If you want, I'll have her call you when she wakes up."
"That would be most appreciated. And Luke?"
"Yeah, Rory?"
"Even though I'm not blaming you, I accept your apology."
"Thanks."
"Luke?"
"What now?"
"Do you think you can mail me some of your coffee? The coffee here sucks and I have to walk three blocks to get a slightly decent cup."
"I'll mail you some herbal tea."
"You are an evil man."
"You know it."
"Bye, Luke."
"Bye, Rory."
She hung up and waited for Paris to say something. Sure enough, she wasn't disappointed. "Wow, I wish I had that kind of close relationship with the guy that makes my latkes at the deli."
"What's a latke?"
* * *
When Lorelai woke up again, there wasn't any sunlight peeking through the curtains. Neither Luke nor Jess were in the apartment, so she once again made use of the facilities, borrowed Luke's brush because her hair apparently thought it was 1985, and went downstairs to scavenge for coffee.
There were only a few people eating- Monday night wasn't really a hopping night in Star's Hollow- and saw from the clock in the diner that it was almost eight-thirty. It was definitely dinner time. She took a seat at the counter and waited for Luke to appear.
"Burger with fries," she ordered when he came back from the kitchen.
Luke shook his head and pointed to the wall facing the counter. There was a new frame, and Lorelai squinted to see what it was holding. Then she frowned. "Oh, very funny. Burger with fries," she repeated.
"Can't. Doctor's orders." He went around the counter and took an order from a table.
"Jess?" Lorelai called and looked around.
"Yeah?" he popped up from under the counter, startling Lorelai and nearly knocking her out of the seat. With her luck, it would have broken her other arm.
"What are you doing down there? Never mind. Burger and fries."
"Anything for you, Ms. Gilmore."
"What, are you auditioning for the Waltons?" Luke was heading back to the counter. "Hurry!" she whispered to Jess.
"Hey!" Luke yelled, and Jess stopped walking. "You get that for her and you die."
Jess shrugged. "Whatever you say, Uncle Luke."
After four hours, the kid was starting to annoy him with his endless supply of derision. The diner wasn't too busy, and he could handle it on his own, so he told Jess, "Get lost."
"But how will I pave my road to financial independence without the money bricks?" Jess smirked before heading upstairs.
"Damn kid."
Lorelai was staring at the wall with disbelief. "I cannot believe you framed that stupid doctor's note. I don't even think the guy was a real doctor. Did he say 'Hi everybody!' when he walked in the room?"
Luke ignored her.
"You probably made him up. I mean, Dr. Cox? Please. You totally ripped that off from 'Scrubs.'"
Luke ignored her some more and walked around the counter, refilling coffee to the one table that was left.
"Why not just sign it Dr. Frankenstein? Or that guy from MASH, what's his name, Hawkeye?"
Luke returned behind the counter, put the coffee away, and leaned on the counter in front of her. "You will not get any burger tonight. I will give you fries, but only if you get some form of non-fried chicken. Dr. Cox is real, that note is real, your cholesterol is real, and until you lower it that note will remain framed on the wall. Capisce?"
"You're so sexy when you speak Italian."
"No burger."
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Fine, grilled chicken sandwich, with fries. And coffee." Luke turned to get her the coffee. She stuck her tongue out at him behind his back, then at the frame. "Stupid doctor," she muttered.
Luke put the mug in front of her, then reached in his pocket and pulled out her cell phone. "Call Rory. And because I'm such a nice man and feel incredibly guilty, I'll let you use it in here."
"How generous of you, Daddy Warbucks."
"Bite me."
Lorelai hit the speed dial and waited for Rory to get the phone.
"Hello?"
"Luke won't let me have a burger."
"Mom!"
"Hey, sweetie."
"Are you okay? Do you feel okay? What's going on with you and Luke?"
"Apparently, Luke paid off a doctor to say I have high cholesterol. Other than the burger-withdrawal I'm currently suffering from, I'm okay."
"Do you have a cast?"
"Yeah, but I don't mind. Some pretty girl with big blue eyes started a cast trend. Now I'm cool."
"You should make Luke sign it."
"Or pay the doctor's bill."
"He says it's his fault. I told him he was being stupid."
"Be careful or he might ban you from burgers too." She waited until Luke was farther away, then said, "It's not technically his fault, I should have been looking where I was going; but the beautiful thing is that he feels all guilty for it, so I said I'd forgive him if he forgave me, and so now we have a truce."
"Boy, you're sneaky. The UN should hire you for the Middle East peace talks."
"I thought they already had Ginger Spice working on it."
"So are you going to tell Luke?"
"About what?"
"About the whole you liking him thing."
"I don't know," Lorelai looked up when Luke put the chicken sandwich in front of her. "My burger looks funny," she told him.
"I liked you better when you were doped up on drugs." Luke looked out the window, hoping to see Babette; she'd said she'd be swinging by the diner to drop off Lorelai's prescription after she made dinner. Luke thought she couldn't get there fast enough. If he'd known how much grief she'd be giving him over the cholesterol thing, he would have asked Dr. Cox to make a video.
When Luke left, she continued talking to Rory. "It's just that it was one thing when he wasn't talking to me at all. It was like, 'what have I got to lose?' But now that we've made up, it's amazing how fast we've settled back into our old routine."
"Where you whine and he resists, and you flirt, and he gives in. Repeat if necessary."
"Yeah. It's almost like the whole month and a half of badness never happened. Although my basis for judgment may be impaired by pain killers."
"So you're chickening out."
"No! Maybe. I don't know. We'll see."
Rory sighed. Paris threw a pencil at her. "We don't have time for this, our presentation is tomorrow morning, and unless it's on your mom and the diner man, we're screwed."
"Was that pencil sharpened?" Rory asked. "Hey Mom, Paris is putting me in physical jeopardy, so I really gotta go. Call me tomorrow when you're not under the thrall of Perky McPercocet and we'll talk."
"Okay, honey. Bye." She hung up the phone and took a bite of her chicken sandwich. "Hey, Luke," she said, her mouth full.
"What?" If she made one more burger comment, he was cutting off the coffee.
"This is good."
"Good."
The bell tinkled and Luke looked up. Babette waved and held out a little white bag. "Here you go, dollface," she said, giving the bag to Lorelai.
"Ooh, my drug dealer has arrived. Did you make sure the fuzz wasn't on to you?"
"Yeah, that's how a real drug deal sounds. Thanks for getting it, Babette."
Lorelai snorted. "Please, Luke, you've lived in Stars Hollow all your life, like you know what a real drug deal sounds like either."
"You okay?" Babette put her hand on Lorelai's arm.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for driving me there."
"You're welcome, sweetie. Now if you two will excuse me, I have to get to Doose's before Taylor closes."
Lorelai watched her go, then turned to Luke. "Hey, can I have a percocet for dessert?"
"No. It's only been five hours. You have to wait at least six."
"How about I take this one now, then I'll take the one after that seven hours later?"
"No."
"Then how about some pie?"
"A small piece."
"But it has fruit, which is healthy. Big piece."
"Small piece."
"Big piece!" She pouted.
"Big piece," Luke conceded, and she grinned. "But we'll share it."
Lorelai gasped. "You? Pie? Maybe I was put in a coma when I fell down the stairs and this is some kind of wacky coma-dream, like 'Vanilla Sky' only without the scary Cameron Diaz."
"Or maybe, once in a while, in moderation, pie can be good."
"Definitely a coma-dream." Luke reached over and pinched her good arm. "Ow!" She grimaced. "Guess it's real."
"Night, Luke!" The last table of the night got up.
Luke waved at the customers as they left, and bussed their table. As he was picking up the plates, Jess came down the stairs. "Where're you going?"
"Out," Jess descriptively replied.
"Plan on causing trouble?"
"Only if the movie sucks."
"Don't stay out late."
"I'll be back by sunrise," Jess called over his shoulder as he went out the door.
"I see you've got him under control." Lorelai was only half sarcastic; Jess was still far from being the poster child for perfection, but he had gotten a bit more disciplined than when he'd first arrived.
Luke shrugged. "He learned the hard way that if he comes back too late all the deadbolts are in place. Or if he stays out late and doesn't wake up in time for school, Mr. Bucket of Ice Water is more than happy to wake him up."
Lorelai grinned. "I wish I could have seen that."
Luke grinned back, and put the big slice of pie in front of her. "Yeah, I regret not taping it." He handed her a fork.
She took a large bite. "Mmm, apple." She closed her eyes and savored the yumminess.
Luke savored the sight of her. When she opened her eyes, he quickly averted his gaze and took a forkful of pie. "Uh, the doctor said that you shouldn't be left alone tonight because of the medication." Actually, Dr. Cox had just said to 'keep an eye on her', since he'd thought they were married and wouldn't have been alone anyhow, but Luke wasn't going to take any chances.
"Maybe I'd agree with that statement if you actually let me take my medication."
"In a little bit. You have two choices. You can stay here, and sleep in my bed, and I can sleep in Jess's bed, and he can sleep on the couch, or I can take you home and I'll sleep on your couch and make sure you don't stick a fork in the toaster during your drugged out state."
"You forgot the third choice."
"We sleep in the gazebo?"
"You and I can sleep in your bed together. Jess is gone." It was supposed to be a joke, but Lorelai didn't really know if she was kidding or not.
Luke didn't know either. He decided the safest way to go would just be to assume she was joking. If she was, but he thought she was serious, it would be the best way to make an ass out of himself. "I don't trust you; you might take advantage of me. And then I'd be damaged goods."
"Hey, I'm the one on drugs, I think you would take advantage of me."
Luke grabbed the last bite of pie and shoved it in his mouth before she could stop him. He leaned forward. "I already did," he said conspiratorially.
Lorelai gasped. "Naughty!" she scolded, though he wasn't sure if it was about his comment, or his pie hogging, or both.
To compensate for stealing the last of the pie, Luke got up and refilled her coffee cup without her even asking for more. "I'll take you home; you don't mind if I sleep on your couch, right?"
"Actually, I do. You're way too big for it, you won't sleep well at all. You can sleep in my bed."
"Wait, we already had this little exchange."
"You can sleep in my bed by yourself. Rory's not home, remember? I'll sleep in her room, and you can take my room, because there's no way I'm letting a grown man sleep in Rory's bed, even if that man is you and even if Rory's not in it. It just doesn't bode well; horrible foreshadowing possibilities exist."
Luke felt a little weird about taking her bed, but the couch really was kind of small for him. "Sounds good."
-end ch. 8-
Thanks for reading and sticking with- the action is JUST picking up. Hubba hubba.
A little note: I started on the next chapter of The Substitute a while ago but I got stuck and have since spent my spare time reading Wolverine fics. Yes, of the X-Men. I admit, I used to read X-Men comic books when I was but a child and have had a crush on a *comic book* character since then. I freely admit to my status of Huge Flaming Geek. Anyhow, it kind of struck me as funny because all of a sudden, reading these Wolvie fics, I come to the realization that I have a thing for scruffy, loner, gruff men in flannel and jeans with big shoulders. My point? Don't expect the new chapter soon, as I'm still passing the time reading these wolvie fics and watching my X-Men DVD. I'd kiss the feet of whoever was responsible for casting Hugh Jackman in a heartbeat; unless Hugh Jackman was actually IN the room at the same time….