Recap: Luke's minding Lorelai cause he inadvertently aided in the breaking of her arm. Yep, that's pretty much all the plot in that one sentence. Sad isn't it? G
* * *
Chapter Ten
* * *
"Hi, honey, you're home!" Lorelai sarcastically greeted when Luke walked through the front door. She sat up on the couch and muted the T.V.
"What? I knocked."
"Apparently not very loudly."
"I brought you lunch. And coffee."
"Totally forgiven for breaking and entering."
"There was no breaking, just entering."
"That is for the courts to decide." She got up. "Whatcha bring me?"
"Baked tofu in a seaweed wrap."
"Wow. Do you actually want to see me vomit?"
"Might make the tofu taste better."
Lorelai took the coffee and opened the bag. "Mmm…french fries." She looked in it, then pouted. "No toy?"
"I'll be fixing the porch rail."
"I'll be eating the food."
He departed and Lorelai frowned when she opened the sandwich wrapper. "Bleh. Turkey burger." She ate it anyhow. When Luke returned from fixing the porch rail she was finishing off the last of her meal. He went over to the water cooler without a word and switched the empty bottle for a full one.
Lorelai tried to ignore the feelings evoked by the manly show of strength. She finished her last mouthful and took a deep swig of coffee to wash down the only somewhat-awful turkey burger. "Hey, you said you'd do anything, right?"
"No. I said almost anything. There's a very important difference."
"Will you tie a plastic bag around my cast? I don't think Eau de Funk is going to be a Calvin Klein endorsed fragrance anytime soon, so a shower might be nice. I tried to do it myself, only since I only had one hand, I was using my teeth to pull the ends shut, but then I almost suffocated on the plastic…"
"I get it, you're pathetic. So yes, I'll help you."
Lorelai picked the plastic bag up from the coffee table and held it out for him. He tied it over her cast. "Thank you," she said, sincerity rich in her voice.
"It's just a bag," Luke mumbled, embarrassed.
"No, for everything. You didn't have to stay with me, or take me home from the hospital. I appreciate it." She put her arms around his neck and hugged him. He awkwardly patted her back.
When she pulled away, he smiled. "You weren't kidding with that Eau de Funk thing."
"Oh, go to hell," she teased.
"Right back at you."
* * *
The phone rang in the afternoon, and Lorelai yelled, "Jacques, will you get that?"
It rang again. "Jacques!"
It rang for the third time, and she mumbled, "Oh that's right, I don't have a butler." She got off the couch and marched over to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Lorelai!"
"Lane?"
"Yes. My mother went to the post office so I have about ten minutes to talk."
"You want Rory's number?"
"Oh, no, I have that, not that I can really call her or anything. I got a B+ in Trigonometry and a B in A.P. European History in the final semester so my mother has confined me to my room until I become an expert on both subjects."
"And on your summer vacation? Major suckage."
"Yes, and I'm not allowed such frivolities as entertainment. And as you are most likely aware, the Powerpuff Girls movie opens tomorrow."
"I forgot! I am so out of it."
"So I was wondering if maybe we could go see it. I have a whole plan worked out." She proceeded to tell Lorelai the plan.
"Wow, that is some intricate work you've come up with."
"It's amazing, the results you get with desperation," Lane explained.
"Oh, I don't know, sweetie, this would be lying to your mother. And she already doesn't like me, and if you get caught you and Rory will probably never get to hang out."
"Lorelai, please, I'm begging you! She's keeping me prisoner."
"I actually thought she'd sent you to Korea again."
"My point exactly! If I don't get out, I'm going to be completely insane, and you don't want to be on Hardcopy after I go on my mad crazy killing spree, do you?"
Desperation shone through in Lane's voice, and Lorelai felt her resolve weaken. "Maybe…"
"Please, Lorelai? We're not breaking any laws, you're just taking me to see a PG rated movie."
"I'm not really supposed to drive, though; my arm's in a cast and I've cut down on the dope a little bit since it's not hurting as much but it's still not recommended."
"I can drive!"
"You can? Your mother let you get a license?"
"Yes. She doesn't actually let me drive, but she thought I should have it in case of emergencies."
"Emergencies like seeing a movie."
"See, you understand me. If you don't say yes, I'll be forced to take a much more dangerous and far more elaborate course of action, and if something happens to me, you'll have to live with the guilt."
"That's blackmail."
"I'm desperate."
Lorelai felt bad for her. "Fine," she said, giving in. "But this is the absolute last time something like this will ever happen. And only because I want to see the movie. And because I need to get out of this house at some point before I pull a Motley-Crue-in-hotel-room number."
"Thank you! I love you! I'll write songs about you! Oh, gotta go, she's back."
Lorelai just stared at the receiver and wondered what she'd gotten herself into.
* * *
The phone rang a little after seven and Luke answered.
"Hello, does this be Luke's?" Lorelai said in an Irish accent.
"That's what I said," Luke answered back. Wow, does he know how to work the customers, Lorelai thought.
"I was wonderin' if ye might try some of me Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious!"
"Lorelai."
"Shucks, busted. So what's up?"
"You're the one who called. You should have the information."
"I have the boredom. What's up?"
"Actually, something was left here for you by Kirk. But I don't think it's from him. It's an envelope that's labeled 'Instructions for Tomorrow.'"
"Sounds like Lane's handiwork. I swear that girl's gonna end up with a job at the CIA. Or maybe those Mission: Impossible people."
"You want me to give it to you after closing, or you wanna come here and get it?" Luke instantly regretted the words coming out of his mouth. 'You want me to give it to you?' He sounded like he was reading a porn script; it was dirty to his own ears, and if Patty had been there…well, he was just glad she wasn't.
"I just took another pill, so I don't think I'll be coming any time soon." Lorelai blushed, even though she hadn't intended any sort of sexual reference in response to Luke's unintentional sexual reference. "Over there. Coming over there." Oh god, she was practically having phone sex with Luke.
"Oh, yeah, that's uh, good that you won't be coming. Over here, because of the drugs." Luke didn't know if he could resist another night of Lorelai in that frame of mind.
Lorelai had lost the train of thought. Oh, right, Lane's note. "So you'll bring it by after closing?"
"Sure. Want me to bring food?"
"Uh-uh. I ordered Chinese, very tasty. But I wouldn't say no to some sort of brownie product."
"There're danishes for tomorrow. Danish day. I make them the night before then bake them in the morning. But I can bake a few tonight." He knew he was talking too much about danishes, but danishes were safe, non sexual things. Luke mentally applauded himself for keeping it clean.
"How Martha Stewart."
"You just lost your danish."
"How do I get it back?"
"There is the ever popular strip tease." What on earth was he doing? He had some kind of phone-foreplay disease. That was the only explanation.
"Kinda hard with just one arm. Would you settle for a lap dance?"
"The danish is all yours."
"Cheese danish?"
"Whatever you want."
"Cheese and strawberry?"
"Fine, but two's the limit."
"Now, is it one lap dance for both, or does each danish require a lap dance?"
"I don't know, let me ask Kirk. Hey, Kirk!" she heard him yell away from the mouthpiece.
"Agh! No! Don't ask Kirk! The last thing I need is for Kirk to be thinking of me giving a lap dance."
"He's not here, I'm just messing with you."
"Ooh, I like when you mess with me." Lorelai smacked herself
on the forehead and ordered herself to stop. Luckily, she had a thought. Well,
she had many of those, but this was a good one, not a dirty one. "Did you ever
see Kirk's movie?"
"Kirk made a movie?"
"Oh, did he ever. I've got two copies of it, just in case one breaks or gets eaten by hyenas."
"Must be good."
"Oh, no, it's bad. It's so very, very bad. It's so very, very bad that it's good."
"Sounds like someone I know."
Okay, with that comment and the lap dancing, she definitely was on the brink of having phone sex with Luke. "Just get your ass over here with my danishes and I'll let you see it."
"Let me see what?" The words were out of his mouth before he even realized he'd said them.
"Whatever it is you want to see." Stupid Luke with his stupid sexy voice, making her say things she knew she shouldn't be saying to him.
Luke didn't know how much more of this he could take. "I'll be there by ten thirty at the latest," he gruffly told her, then there was silence.
Lorelai hung up the phone. "There is a loose chick in the house," she observed to herself, somewhat shocked by her own actions.
-end ch 10-
Sexual tension, come on down, you're the next contestant on the Price is Right!
In other words, there's some fun coming up.
As for The Substitute, I'm almost done with the next part. Whee! And I finally got around to putting up my own little site. Whee again!
Should you care to visit, it's http://www.geocities.com/ct_junkie/ Nothing fancy, nothing big, and not completely finished yet either. But I do feel productive.