Chapter Twelve: Don't Skip Town; Skip Planet
Gir kept Mel up long into the night, but Dib retired early. Just before she went to bed as well, she decided to talk to Gir. "Now, Gir. Remember: this is a secret. You tell NO ONE. NO ONE AT ALL! Got it?"
"Uh-huh!"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, Dib's getting to be a pain. I don't think that he understands that I don't WANT to go to Fali, yet we're supposed to go tomorrow night. I am not going to leave my home planet just to go with a friend to fulfill some prophecy thing! This is my home, Gir. I may jump at the opportunity to visit another world and meet another species; I'd LOVE that! But he says that I'd have to stay there permanently, according to the prophecy. I can't do that. I'll just have to tell him. Well, Gir, stay out of trouble. I'm going to bed."
"Bye!"
"Bye, Gir. See you tomorrow." Mel walked upstairs to Dib's room and got in her sleeping bag. When she slipped on a magazine, Dib awoke.
"What was that?"
"Just me."
"Mel, it's 1:00 in the morning! What exactly have you been doing down there, anyway?"
"Gir stuff. I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."
"Just think! We're going to be on Fali by this time tomorrow! Isn't it great?"
"Ah, no."
"No?"
"Dib, I don't want to go to Fali. I've got a life here on Earth. I can't leave. Not now."
"But--"
"I can't. I'm sorry."
"I'm not just visiting, Mel, I...I'm going to be living there. For the rest of my life."
"Oh. I...didn't know that. Well...goodbye, I guess. Have a nice life."
"Then you mean you're really not going?"
"Of course I mean it."
"But Mel, this is your chance to visit an alien world! My world, and I still don't even remember anything about it. I'd like to have a friend with me."
"You'll have your mother."
"No. She's got duties on the Falish ships. I'd be alone."
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
"Are you sure you wouldn't like to come?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I'm afraid I can't cave on this one. This decision determines the course of my life. I can't make the decision too hastily. Maybe in a few months I can find time to join you."
"No, Mel, it's not that simple. It's rare that a ship even comes by Earth. There isn't another one scheduled for 20 years."
"I...I don't know. I want to go, but...couldn't I just be teleported there, like on the Falish ship your mom's currently on?"
"No. The ship has to be within a certain range of Earth. A ship won't be in range for another 20 years."
"This isn't good. I want to see another world, but it'd come with a price. I just can't do it. I'm sorry."
"I understand that. Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Though she lay back and closed her eyes, she didn't once succumb to sleep, for she knew that the path her life would take depended on her decision.
Morning came all too quickly for her, and as she helped Dib pack his belongings, she felt torn between two worlds in this life, and felt torn between the two lives she lived in the two universes. Her family, her friends...this life with her other friend...so many options presented themselves to her, and she was unsure of each. Soon, they packed his last bag, and rested on the bed.
"Are you sure you don't want to pack an extra bag for yourself?"
"Dib, even if I was going, I wouldn't want to pack another bag, suitcase, or box of belongings in my LIFE." She sighed, lay back on the bed, and tried desperately to come to a decision. 'I can't leave, but I can't stay here by myself; that would be an uncomfortable situation. I don't really have any other place to go but with him, but I can't. I just can't.'
"Mel?"
"Yeah?"
As if reading her thoughts, which he probably had done, he asked her, "Where are you going to go?"
"Well, I couldn't stay here; it'd be impolite and an unusual situation with you gone, so I'd probably have to learn to live at Zim's base."
"It'd be a lot easier if you just went with me to Fali, you could--"
"No! I'm not going to Fali! I see horrible things happening there; the planet is in a state of turmoil! We'll die a horrible death! We CAN'T go! Please! It's not safe!"
"Mel, you have to trust me. The only way you'll die painfully is if Irk takes over Earth; otherwise, you'll die of age in the future. I've taken care of Zim! You don't have to worry about that!"
"It's not that! It's war! There's going to be a terrible panic on Fali, and you're going to get murdered! Coming from the reports on your death, Irk will learn of Earth and gain interest in new snacks here. They'll conquer, with or without Zim, and I'll die, and there's no way to prevent it! It's the future, Dib! There is such a thing as fate, though not nearly as simple as the commonly referred definition! The timeline is like a story in an author's mind: the part of the story completed so far is the present, and the story not yet done is still planned out!"
"You're an author yourself; you know that sometimes the course of the story changes."
"Yes, but the ending, at least in most stories thought out completely and thoroughly beforehand, almost, inevitably, remains the same! It's a pattern, a dangerous pattern, and no matter what actions that seemingly may help it end up being the very cause! It's a pattern that leads to guilt and regret, remorse and sorrow, but, most of all, understanding. And you know that there's nothing you can do. You feel trapped. No matter what you do, no matter how you change the plot, the conclusion remains undeterred."
"I've got to go, though. Maybe there is a way to change the future; it might just need someone to find it."
"But what if there isn't or you don't find it?"
"Let's just hope that I do. After all, you just said that it usually remains the same. There might be a way to change it."
"What is happening? What is happening to you, to me, to the universe? Nothing's right anymore. Is it that this trouble has been here the whole time, obscured by humanity's ignorance? Or is it that these turbulences have just recently arisen by some incredible force that is beyond human comprehension? Could it be possible that these difficulties are merely the result of our simple minds coming across much greater and more profound concepts?"
"I don't know the answers to those questions. But I do know that, if the future is unchangeable no matter what we do, we shouldn't dwell upon it. Try to enjoy your life while you can."
"I don't know, I guess I just want to know...speculation and curiosity are the keys to learning and unlocking the answers to questions thought to be hidden forever, to explain the unexplainable, accept the unacceptable. I know that I am limited more than I can possibly imagine, but I must try to utilize my mind to its full extent. I must try to reach my full potential."
"It's getting late. The ship is going to be leaving soon."
"Really? What time is it?"
"Around noon."
"You're going to be going soon, then. Goodbye."
"Goodbye. Oh, and you can read the letter now."
"Thanks. Best wishes from Earth!"
"See ya on Alpha Centauri!"
"Goodbye!"
"Goodb--" he was cut off as he disappeared, apparently teleported onto the ship. Mel picked up a magazine he'd forgotten, read it, and sat on the bed once more. It was nearly an hour later before she remembered the letter. Pulling it out from her pocket, she tore the envelope open and began to read:
"Mel--If you are reading this, I am either dead or on my way to my home planet, Fali. This letter is because it is your right to know just what situation you are in. If I'm dead, it's because I decided to fight Zim and didn't succeed. As you are my friend, you should know that. Otherwise, I've decided to skip town--or rather, skip planet--because I am nearing the age of thirteen. That is when I'll look like my alien self. You'd think I was a horrible creature, no matter what you say. Perhaps now you say that you like the Falish and that looks don't bother you, but it makes a difference when talking to a friend.
"You may be disbelieving at this, which you probably are, and I bet you're furious with me for even thinking that, but it's true. I'm sure of it, but it doesn't bother me that it is, because I'm likely to have a harder time adjusting than you!
"A rather unpleasant side effect of it that I've noticed lately is that I have an apathy for humanity--I don't care about the human race like I used to. I know that you're human, and you're close to an exception. I say that you are close to an exception because emotions that I once knew are no longer as strong and pronounced. I once thought I loved you, but my mind doesn't allow for that anymore. I'm sorry about what I have to say, but due to this drastic change, I can barely stand to look at you, knowing that I'll never be able to care for you even as a friend, like I used to.
"I write this in my last few hours that I can feel human emotions and truly express what I know. Though the Falish can have emotions just as well as humans, the Seraul, my real father's species, are nearly emotionless. I'm afraid that as my human physical characteristics diminish, so do my mental characteristics that truly define humanity. It is here that, for the last time, I can really say that you are my best friend and that I feel for you as you read this and know that pain myself, for I will never again be able to shed a tear for you or anything else. Goodbye. --Dib." Mel dropped the letter and dug out a communications watch. She tried to contact Dib with it, but the signal didn't go through. Instead, she turned to telepathy.
'Contact me...let me know you can hear me...' Mel waited. Nothing.
Dib, who had arrived on the Falish ship an hour ago, was met by his mother's embrace. "I'm so glad you came here!"
"Riva, I've got enough to worry about right now."
"Really? What's your trouble?"
"You know how my father is Seraul?"
"Yes?"
"I'm losing my emotions. For a while, I wanted Kiana to come to Fali with me, but I just don't care for her anymore. I can't really consider her my friend."
"I thought you liked to call her by her first name."
"It's too familiar. I don't want this to happen to me! I want to feel what I felt!"
"Do you mean pain?"
"There are good things about human emotion besides pain. I want that emotion back."
"I'm sorry. I was ordered to have a child with a Seraul to make you almost emotionless, so as to strengthen our species."
"You mean I was some...genetic experiment? You didn't have me because you loved someone? I don't even know what planet my father's on, let alone who he is! Why did you do this?"
"We're hoping to find ideal genes to create a formula and use a system similar to cloning in order to save our kind from destruction. You're going to save the Falish species from extinction."
"No! I won't take part in it! Not after you've deprived me of my emotion! My humanity! You might've given me life, but you're taking it away from me again! I don't want to live if I have to live like this!"
"Don't say that, Dib, please, don't!"
"Take me back to Earth. Sure, maybe I don't belong there, but I don't belong here, either! I must at least tell Kiana in person that I'm sorry."
"Very well, but in five minutes we'll be out of range, and there will be no turning back. You must act quickly. I hope I see you again before then." She teleported him back down into his room, where he found Mel, trying to contact him.
"Kiana?"
"Please don't call me that."
"Okay. M-M-Mel."
"Why is it hard for you to say my name?"
"I'm losing my emotions."
"So I've read. Why did you come back?"
"I wanted to tell you in person that I'm sorry. I really am."
"Isn't there anything you can do?"
"No."
"But there must be some way to change it! You've got to be able to feel compassion, and friendship, and caring! You just have to! Come on! You've been human all your life, or at least you have had the emotions! There must be some way. Come on...don't give up just yet. I'm sure there is a way."
"I don't think so, Kiana. I must leave now, or I won't ever make it."
"Do you really have to fulfill this prophecy thing?"
"I have no choice."
"Of course you have a choice! There is a way to stop you from going."
"How?"
"We're going to stay here and wait until they're out of range."
"They'll just teleport us from the ship."
"No, they won't, not even if they wanted to. It is against the law for them to take me against my will, and I'm going to hold your hand the entire time. That way, they'll take both of us or none of us. Their only option will be none of us."
"But Kiana...I want to go. I want to see my home world. I know that you want to stay on Earth, but I need to see my planet. I have to go, no matter what you say."
"I can't stop you. Your choice is your choice. I only hope it is the right choice. Good luck."
"Thank you for understanding."
"No problem. You must get going now, before it's too late. I couldn't deprive any friend of mine their life to live as they please."
"Goodbye."
"Goodbye." He disappeared from sight, leaving Mel to sit in the empty room.
Monday morning. Mel had tried to see if she could live in Zim's house until finding a way back home, but the alerts acted just the same, which puzzled her. Instead, she remained at Dib's house. Due to a confrontation with Gaz, (namely "Where did my books go?") she was late, and had to get a tardy pass from the office, making her even later when getting lost trying to find the attendance office. However, in spite of these trials and tribulations, she eventually made her way to her seat.
During recess, some more girls came to give her their condolences for what they had thought happened on the night of the dance. Mel shrugged them off, saying that it was all just a misunderstanding as Dib had said, but they thought her to be in a state of denial. The sound of girls whispering horrible rumors about what had occurred resonated throughout the halls during the course of the day, people acting more and more viciously against Dib. Lunch was soon upon them, and Mel sat alone.
"That rat didn't even bother to show up, did he?" one girl said while on her way to get lunch.
"For the last time, Dib was right, and Zim really did trick me."
"That's what he wants you to believe."
"Precisely, and he wants me to believe the truth, which I do. Now, would you be so kind as to allow me the luxury, no matter how much a difficult task it may pose to you, of eating in peace?"
"Poor, poor girl." Mel hated being the center of attention this way. Everyone was giving her sympathy for something that was just a mistake and misconception while they badmouthed her friend who was innocent. It got on her nerves, but she didn't know how to silence them. She tired of this rather quickly, and ended up going to the principal's office and borrowing the microphone. Tapping it, she cleared her throat.
"Ahem. Excuse me, all students at this particular skool; I have an announcement for you! For those who are currently under the misperception that Dib kissed a girl named Gretchen during the skool dance last Friday, I can assure you that he is quite INNOCENT! It annoys me how you give me sympathy when, in actuality, I need none! The reason for Dib's absence is not because of shame; it is because he has moved! He has moved, and I won't be able to see him again for twenty years! So stop thinking that he has wronged me, for he did no such thing. Please consider this truth, for I am not in denial as many of you might think. And please, please, don't bother me!" Having done this, Mel went into the library and read.
Skool ended shortly after, and Mel wondered what she could possibly occupy herself with. As she walked through the door, Gir greeted her by hugging her.
"HI!"
"Yeah, uh...hi, Gir."
"Wanna ride the pig with me?!"
"Wha--oh, the pig. Eh, not today, Gir. I have to rest for awhile."
"Aw...wanna ride the moose?!"
'I forgot how much attention Gir needs...geez, this is gonna be tougher than I thought...but who knows what havoc he'd wreak if it weren't for having a caretaker? I suppose I could dismantle him, but I wouldn't have the heart to do so. Perhaps I'll work on him this weekend to see if I can repair him. Zim probably hasn't made much of an attempt, due to the fact that he trusts the Tallest--big mistake, in Zim's case--so it might even be simple. Maybe it's only a matter of finding the glitch and fixing it.'
"Well? Do you?"
"What? Oh, Gir, I'm afraid I can't.
I've got something to do."
"Is it pizza?"
"No, not pizza."
"Tacos?" She sighed.
"Yes, Gir. Tacos." Not wishing to be disturbed, she made her way up into Dib's room and locked the door. Despite this, as she began to take out her homework, she sensed someone behind her. "Gaz? What are you doing here? I thought you--"
"--hated Dib? Yes."
"Why are you here?" she carefully articulated, nervousness trembling her lips.
"I heard that everyone thinks he kissed some other girl when on a date with you."
"It was the skool dance, and I only went to lift his spirits."
"Whatever. You and my stupid brother went to a dance on Friday, he got you upset, and now he's missing, but you're still here."
"Gaz..." she breathed in shock. "Are you insinuating that I caused Dib to disappear?"
"He hasn't just 'disappeared' and you know it." Mel gasped.
"You're not saying that I killed Dib, are you?!"
"Why not? I've wanted to kill him. So, where'd you hide the corpse?" She didn't know how to respond.
"Gaz, I DID NOT kill Dib, whatever you may think! I would never kill anyone!"
"Quit acting innocent; everyone's capable of killing."
"Perhaps I am capable, but I would never stoop to that level! NEVER! Now, please leave, I can't take this!"
"If you say you didn't kill him, prove it, because if anyone got to do it before me, you're dead."
"All right! I'll tell you the truth, but you'll think me insane as you thought him, for this is really an unbelievable story--you know, the type you find in science fiction, but WHO CARES?! SO LONG AS I GET TO KEEP MY LIMBS!
"Gaz, Dib found out that he's an alien--a cross between a Falen and a Seraul--and decided to go live on his mother's world, the planet Fali, he's almost there now, and since he's losing his emotions due to his father being Seraul, he doesn't even like me as a friend anymore; in spite of this he killed Zim." No one spoke a word.
"Let me talk to him. If he's really on another planet, transmit a message."
"All right, I will." She pressed some buttons on the communications watch, and Dib's image appeared on a screen. "Hi, Dib. How's everything going?"
"Fine, I guess. Everyone's wondering why you aren't here, Kiana."
"Kiana?" Gaz questioned.
"It's her Falish name."
"Yeah...more formal, because now he can't stand to be too familiar with me," Mel said, disdain in her voice. "Dib, what's it like? When are you getting there?"
"You ask too many questions."
"I'm sorry; it's just that my friend has moved to another PLANET, and I'm not gonna be able to see you in person for another TWENTY YEARS, so I think I'd like to know what's going on."
"You did have the option of coming. You missed it, and this is consequence."
"This isn't like you, not at all. If memory serves, you'd be telling me that everything is incredible, you'd describe the sight as amazing, and you'd...have more..."
"Have more what?"
"You'd have more enthusiasm. More emotion."
"I'm not the same person I used to be."
"Darn right you aren't! A lot of things have changed! I bet that if I decided I hated you it wouldn't affect you one bit!"
Gaz chuckled to herself, "I finally get to see these two fight." However, the fight was to be short-lived, as Dib merely scowled, told her he had work to do, and ended the transmission.
"I can't believe this. Three days ago, he wanted us to be more than friends, and now we can't even really be considered friends. Could he really have changed that much?"
"Probably gets it from Dad."
"What's that, Gaz?"
"Dad. He usually says hi, tells us he has work to do, and then ends the transmission."
"Then...Professor Membrane is..."
"What? An alien?" Gaz asked jokingly. Mel stared at her seriously. "You don't really mean that, do you?"
"He's not human. Professor Membrane really is Dib's father, and if you're really his daughter, then that means you are..."
"I'm not some reject from Star Trek. If you think I'm an alien, you're as crazy as Dib."
"No, Gaz...you're not an alien...just an alien hybrid."
"Just don't bug me." Gaz left, and Mel thought to herself about the situation.
'Dib, Professor Membrane, and Gaz are all not human. What if I'm not human?' With this thought, she rested on the near-empty floor and fell sound asleep.
People concentrate their focus so hard on one thing, they become blind to the obvious, no matter how brilliant and individual.
--Invader Mel's Diary of Perception.
!!