WYLS
by Karma-chan
THIS STORY IS RATED R - for language and adult situations. Including Yaoi (slash) and het implications.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I barely own my car. Please don't sue. College students don't make good Sugar Daddies...or Mommas...or whatever. Besides, this is definitely for entertainment purposes only. I work in hell for money. Writing demented fics is fun!
Warning: Reading this fic could be dangerous for your health. Especially if you attempt to do so while driving. Or something else that requires your senses to be concentrating on doing it, and not reading. Get it? Who cares! Must warn you kiddies about the language. Yep, language is used! But, I mean the "adult" type. OH, and adult situations. Implied yaoi, implied hetro. OOC, author doing origami to make things fit, and a bit of Relena bashing. If you don't like it, bite it. I mean, leave. NOW ...
Part 3: A Chinese Scholar in Queen Relena's Court
Wufei tugged at the collar of his dress shirt and scowled. He did not like the costume they'd forced him to wear for this scene. White dress shirt, white slacks and a black cummerbund. Sure, the white was great, but the clothes were just too constricting. How was he supposed to fight in this get-up?
Speaking of fighting, this get-up, and the scene in general - just what the hell was going on? He sighed. Stupid windows. His train of thought jumped the tracks, then tried to hide behind a nearby potted plant when he heard the voice.
"Heeeeeroooooo!" Shiver, squirm, sweat. Flashback. Cringe. Dammit! Well, it wasn't Maxwell. Maxwell's voice was a bit girlish, but not that girlish. And Maxwell most definitely did not wear pink. She was. Wearing pink, that is. Lots of it. Wufei began to wonder if she designed her own uniform, or if the costume designer just felt the need to assure everyone that this girl was most decidedly a girl. And speaking of the girlish girl, she was now standing in front of him, and looking for the world like she was waiting for something. Wufei's sensibilities gave him a quick kick in the rear section of his brain.
"Ah. I, as you can see, am not Heero. My name is Wufei."
"Oh, I know. And I know you know that I know. And I know you know who I am." Relena giggled. "So, that's over with. Have you seen Heero?"
"Not since..hm..well, breakfast. Two days ago."
"Oh. Well, shucks!" Wufei blinked. Such an outburst. "It's just that I wanted to see how he would look in a Sank uniform." Relena waved a garment bag around, then stopped, eyed Wufei, the garment bag, and Wufei again.
Wufei didn't like the eyeing. Nope. It was saying, "Well, height is correct, but the weight might be a bit more, still..."
"Absolutely not!" Bark, bark.
"Pardon me?" Relena was good at looking innocent.
"I will not be a stand in for Yuy! Not again!"
"Again? Oh, I suppose if he's been missing for a few days, you've had to help out with rehearsing and planning his scenes. Am I right?"
"Somewhat. And, may I say, pink is not my color." Relena laughed at this remark, causing Wufei to blink some more.
"Silly Wufei! Pink is for girls!" (author shoots herself)
"I suppose it is..." He really didn't know what was going on. Stupid rosebushes.
"Of course. And blue," she waved the garment bag to stress her meaning, "is for boys!"
"Ah."
"And yellow is for canaries, and orange is for oranges!" Relena bubbled on.
"Eh?"
"Oh, nothing. But, back to the blue. Do be a gentleman." Relena held out the garment bag.
"Woman, you would find it best to wait until Yuy is available. I refuse to do his dirty work. Why everyone has decided that I would make the perfect stand-in...," Wufei shook his head and mumbled, "just because we're both _Asian_."
It was Relena's turn to blink. "But you're Chinese, and he's Japanese." This, seemingly innocent comment, caused Wufei, ever the intellectual, to stare, slack jawed, at the supposedly naive Queen. Who'd a thunk that _she_, of all people, would notice something that Maxwell couldn't seem to grasp?
Relena took advantage of Wufei's state of mind. That is, she shoved the garment bag into his hands, escorted him to a conveniently close room, pushed him in, and firmly shut the door. What was a guy to do? He could hope that the uniform offered more room to fight in than his current get-up. Then again, the only way to realize, or not, that hope was to try said uniform on. So, he did.
Minutes later, Wufei was inspecting himself in the mirror. He and Yuy were the same height, but he did have a bit more weight. A little thicker here, a little thicker there. Wufei half turned. A little thicker there. He blushed.
Relena, Queen of the World, spewer of pacifist ideals, and President of the underground G.A.P. society (no, not the clothing store - Girls Against Pink), was growing impatient. She jiggled the door knob. Locked. Easily solved, but that wouldn't be polite, now would it?
"Wufei, I do have a key." Said in sticky sweet manor, it almost didn't sound like a threat. Two moments (yes, moments) later, the door opened, and a very unhappy Wufei appeared. He stepped into the hall, shut the door behind him, then leaned back against it. Not a very brave thing to do, but he was sure that there were things in this world that even Yuy couldn't be brave about. Somewhere.
Relena clapped her hands together and giggled. "Oh, it looks great!" She tilted her head to one side, then the other, then grabbed her unsuspecting victim by the wrist, and hauled him into the center of the hallway.
"Woman..." Wufei trailed. She was already behind him.
"Oh, it's great!" the girl gushed, "it will be perfect on him, don't you think?" She brushed at the shoulders of the uniform. "The blue will bring out his eyes, yes?" She lowered her hands to tug at the sides of the waist length jacket. Unfortunately for Wufei, where Relena's hands went, her eyes soon followed. "It's such a nice cut for him, don't you..." Her eyes had reached just below the line of the jacket. "Oh..._very_ nice b...cut." At least she was paying a bit of attention to her words.
Wufei, by this time, was looking more like a tomato than a Gundam pilot. "Woman, I refuse to be your model any longer. I'm taking this damned thing off!" He abruptly turned to face his tormentor, which meant that she wasn't ready to meet his eyes, so-to- speak.
"Hmm...why, Wufei, I agree with you." Relena slowly raised her eyes. "One hundred percent." The scholar, turned warrior, turned window and rose bush hater, turned stand-in, turned stand-in model, gulped. The Queen was speaking. And not in her girly voice. Wufei's mind, which was usually a reliable source for deep thoughts and common sense, finally gave out. The pressure was just too great. It became addled and silly. It went crazy. It needed a bit of a vacation, and, much to the distress of the rest of his body, was going to take one now. It had never had one before, which is probably why he'd never had such thoughts. Like about how much paint it would take to make Nataku look like a giant ying-yang, or how many pink balloons it would take to fill Zero's cockpit or how fun it would be to go into battle singing, "Where has all the justice go-o-ooooone?". In one strikingly clear moment of thought - well, kind of - he realized that, wherever it was, it was probably not in the room Relena was pushing him into, and, if it were, it would not require that she follow, or help him undress, to find it. Really.
***********
by Karma-chan
THIS STORY IS RATED R - for language and adult situations. Including Yaoi (slash) and het implications.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I barely own my car. Please don't sue. College students don't make good Sugar Daddies...or Mommas...or whatever. Besides, this is definitely for entertainment purposes only. I work in hell for money. Writing demented fics is fun!
Warning: Reading this fic could be dangerous for your health. Especially if you attempt to do so while driving. Or something else that requires your senses to be concentrating on doing it, and not reading. Get it? Who cares! Must warn you kiddies about the language. Yep, language is used! But, I mean the "adult" type. OH, and adult situations. Implied yaoi, implied hetro. OOC, author doing origami to make things fit, and a bit of Relena bashing. If you don't like it, bite it. I mean, leave. NOW ...
Part 3: A Chinese Scholar in Queen Relena's Court
Wufei tugged at the collar of his dress shirt and scowled. He did not like the costume they'd forced him to wear for this scene. White dress shirt, white slacks and a black cummerbund. Sure, the white was great, but the clothes were just too constricting. How was he supposed to fight in this get-up?
Speaking of fighting, this get-up, and the scene in general - just what the hell was going on? He sighed. Stupid windows. His train of thought jumped the tracks, then tried to hide behind a nearby potted plant when he heard the voice.
"Heeeeeroooooo!" Shiver, squirm, sweat. Flashback. Cringe. Dammit! Well, it wasn't Maxwell. Maxwell's voice was a bit girlish, but not that girlish. And Maxwell most definitely did not wear pink. She was. Wearing pink, that is. Lots of it. Wufei began to wonder if she designed her own uniform, or if the costume designer just felt the need to assure everyone that this girl was most decidedly a girl. And speaking of the girlish girl, she was now standing in front of him, and looking for the world like she was waiting for something. Wufei's sensibilities gave him a quick kick in the rear section of his brain.
"Ah. I, as you can see, am not Heero. My name is Wufei."
"Oh, I know. And I know you know that I know. And I know you know who I am." Relena giggled. "So, that's over with. Have you seen Heero?"
"Not since..hm..well, breakfast. Two days ago."
"Oh. Well, shucks!" Wufei blinked. Such an outburst. "It's just that I wanted to see how he would look in a Sank uniform." Relena waved a garment bag around, then stopped, eyed Wufei, the garment bag, and Wufei again.
Wufei didn't like the eyeing. Nope. It was saying, "Well, height is correct, but the weight might be a bit more, still..."
"Absolutely not!" Bark, bark.
"Pardon me?" Relena was good at looking innocent.
"I will not be a stand in for Yuy! Not again!"
"Again? Oh, I suppose if he's been missing for a few days, you've had to help out with rehearsing and planning his scenes. Am I right?"
"Somewhat. And, may I say, pink is not my color." Relena laughed at this remark, causing Wufei to blink some more.
"Silly Wufei! Pink is for girls!" (author shoots herself)
"I suppose it is..." He really didn't know what was going on. Stupid rosebushes.
"Of course. And blue," she waved the garment bag to stress her meaning, "is for boys!"
"Ah."
"And yellow is for canaries, and orange is for oranges!" Relena bubbled on.
"Eh?"
"Oh, nothing. But, back to the blue. Do be a gentleman." Relena held out the garment bag.
"Woman, you would find it best to wait until Yuy is available. I refuse to do his dirty work. Why everyone has decided that I would make the perfect stand-in...," Wufei shook his head and mumbled, "just because we're both _Asian_."
It was Relena's turn to blink. "But you're Chinese, and he's Japanese." This, seemingly innocent comment, caused Wufei, ever the intellectual, to stare, slack jawed, at the supposedly naive Queen. Who'd a thunk that _she_, of all people, would notice something that Maxwell couldn't seem to grasp?
Relena took advantage of Wufei's state of mind. That is, she shoved the garment bag into his hands, escorted him to a conveniently close room, pushed him in, and firmly shut the door. What was a guy to do? He could hope that the uniform offered more room to fight in than his current get-up. Then again, the only way to realize, or not, that hope was to try said uniform on. So, he did.
Minutes later, Wufei was inspecting himself in the mirror. He and Yuy were the same height, but he did have a bit more weight. A little thicker here, a little thicker there. Wufei half turned. A little thicker there. He blushed.
Relena, Queen of the World, spewer of pacifist ideals, and President of the underground G.A.P. society (no, not the clothing store - Girls Against Pink), was growing impatient. She jiggled the door knob. Locked. Easily solved, but that wouldn't be polite, now would it?
"Wufei, I do have a key." Said in sticky sweet manor, it almost didn't sound like a threat. Two moments (yes, moments) later, the door opened, and a very unhappy Wufei appeared. He stepped into the hall, shut the door behind him, then leaned back against it. Not a very brave thing to do, but he was sure that there were things in this world that even Yuy couldn't be brave about. Somewhere.
Relena clapped her hands together and giggled. "Oh, it looks great!" She tilted her head to one side, then the other, then grabbed her unsuspecting victim by the wrist, and hauled him into the center of the hallway.
"Woman..." Wufei trailed. She was already behind him.
"Oh, it's great!" the girl gushed, "it will be perfect on him, don't you think?" She brushed at the shoulders of the uniform. "The blue will bring out his eyes, yes?" She lowered her hands to tug at the sides of the waist length jacket. Unfortunately for Wufei, where Relena's hands went, her eyes soon followed. "It's such a nice cut for him, don't you..." Her eyes had reached just below the line of the jacket. "Oh..._very_ nice b...cut." At least she was paying a bit of attention to her words.
Wufei, by this time, was looking more like a tomato than a Gundam pilot. "Woman, I refuse to be your model any longer. I'm taking this damned thing off!" He abruptly turned to face his tormentor, which meant that she wasn't ready to meet his eyes, so-to- speak.
"Hmm...why, Wufei, I agree with you." Relena slowly raised her eyes. "One hundred percent." The scholar, turned warrior, turned window and rose bush hater, turned stand-in, turned stand-in model, gulped. The Queen was speaking. And not in her girly voice. Wufei's mind, which was usually a reliable source for deep thoughts and common sense, finally gave out. The pressure was just too great. It became addled and silly. It went crazy. It needed a bit of a vacation, and, much to the distress of the rest of his body, was going to take one now. It had never had one before, which is probably why he'd never had such thoughts. Like about how much paint it would take to make Nataku look like a giant ying-yang, or how many pink balloons it would take to fill Zero's cockpit or how fun it would be to go into battle singing, "Where has all the justice go-o-ooooone?". In one strikingly clear moment of thought - well, kind of - he realized that, wherever it was, it was probably not in the room Relena was pushing him into, and, if it were, it would not require that she follow, or help him undress, to find it. Really.
***********