WYLS
by Karma-chan
THIS STORY IS RATED R - for language and adult situations. Including yaoi (slash) and het implications.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I barely own my car. Please don't sue. College students don't make good Sugar Daddies...or Mommas...or whatever. Besides, this is definitely for entertainment purposes only. I work in hell for money. Writing demented fics is fun!
Warning: Reading this fic could be dangerous for your health. Especially if you attempt to do so while driving. Or something else that requires your senses to be concentrating on doing it, and not reading. Get it? Who cares! Must warn you kiddies about the language. Yep, language is used! But, I mean the "adult" type. OH, and adult situations. Implied yaoi, implied hetro. OOC, author doing origami to make things fit, and a bit of Relena bashing. If you don't like it, bite it. I mean, leave. NOW ...
Now, for the really addicted...Wufei, You Little Slut (WYLS) Outtakes!
Treize's Scene
"Shit! I really was supposed to lose!" In his anger, he flung the script over his shoulder instead of depositing it back into the relative safety of his dimensional pocket.
The script was supposed to fly out an open window, but seeing as how George, the window opening guy, had been fired when the director realized the man was being paid an ungodly amount of money to open one window, and the duty roster which had assigned the task to Duo Maxwell had been eaten by Heero Yuy when he mistakenly thought the missive was of the self destruct type, the booklet hit the closed window and bounced back, the sharp corner slamming into Wufei's head. The boy rubbed the spot. "Owwie!"
Duo's Scene
"Heeeeroooo! Is that you?" Duo slid around the corner and, instead of stopping in front of Wufei as he was supposed to, continue to slide, out of control, straight into the door.
Wufei eyed Duo's socks, then the floor. "I think a little less wax is in order."
"Ugh," Duo groaned in agreement.
Relena's Scene
Wufei rolled his eyes as Relena entered. He shook his head, and walked off the set, waving a hand at the director. "I'll be back in an hour."
"Cut!" Relena looked over at Ted. He sighed.
"Relena?"
"Yes?"
"Your attire?"
She looked down at her clothes. Riding jacket, riding pants, riding boots, riding crop. "Oops maybe I should have left that out," she thought. She looked back at Ted. "Yes?"
"Does the word PINK mean anything to you?!" Ted screamed, gesturing to Relena's outfit - which was entirely black.
Relena's eyes narrowed. The staring contest began.
"Maybe if we got her a pink riding crop," a passing technician muttered.
Heero's Scene
Exactly six minutes and twenty-three seconds later - nothing happened. "Shit! It really is stuck!"
"Woo-hoo!" Was Wufei's response.
Sally Po's Scene
"The Doctor is," Quatre stopped. He turned toward's the director. "Exactly what in the hell does a chirp sound like, anyway?!"
"Cut!"
***
A bit later...
***
...Wufei found himself face to face with a very hungry cat. Literally. "Meow!" The cat said. Wufei sneezed. Karma ran onto the set.
"Stupid Ty!" She yelled, scooping up the cat. "Sorry, Wu-man!"
Sally Po just shook her head and turned back to her job. "Just freakin great!" She moaned as she took in Wufei's state. His eyes were red, puffy, and watering. (This outtake is dedicated to my cat, the real Ty, who always shows up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and meows constantly since he is too damn lazy to walk to his food bowl without someone accompanying him because it might be empty and he would need someone to put food in it)
Noin's Scene
"Yeah...I was thinking maybe I'd give you a," Noin paused, her eyes left Wufei's for a moment, then returned. Then her face contorted. "Eww." She looked back at her hand, and slowly removed it from the lower portion of the stick shift. "Eww." She repeated. Suddenly, she jumped from the jeep, and began shaking her hand. "Ewww! Get it off! Gross!"
"Cut!" The director's attention was drawn to the left, where Duo was rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off, while clutching a small jar of vaseline.
(You didn't expect the whole shooting to go without Duo's pranks, didya?)
Quatre and Trowa's Scene
(Quatre pops up out of nowhere): Hey, there aren't any outtakes! I'm just an acting machine.
(Trowa appears out of thin air): Yay, sure. You just didn't have to chirp this time. And all I had to do was shrug, say "good idea", lick my lips, smile, pick Wufei up, and shake my head. Wow.
Karma's Scene
The sound of Wufei's sword being drawn drew the girl's attention, and she turned abruptly. The site of a Gundam pilot standing in her bedroom, weapon drawn, caused the girl to drool.
Wufei stalked off the set, grabbed a towel, and chucked it at Karma. "Stupid fangirls."
"Cut!"
***
Later...
***
"Hello." Wufei smiled. He was going to have fun, by damn! "My name is Chang Wufei. You killed my justice. Prepare to die."
Karma looked at him blandly. "You know, I don't know whether to throw myself on your sword or just fall over and die laughing."
"Cut!" Came the voice of Ted.
The two fell on the floor, laughing their asses off. After a couple of minutes, Wufei sat up, and in his best Yuy impression said, "I always wanted to do that."
Zechs' Scene, Take 1
The Oz soldier dropped his head back. "Just because I told her the truth about her stupid plans!" He raised his head again and frantically looked into the "eyes" of the helmet. "You agree, right? He'd never betray his 'widdle snuggle'..his...hehehe...'widdle'...haha.. BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Cut!"
"Sorry! Sorry!" Zechs laughed.
Zechs' Scene, Take 42
The Oz soldier dropped his head back. "Just because I told her the truth about her stupid plans!" He raised his head again and frantically looked into the "eyes" of the helmet. "You agree, right? He'd never betray his ...hehe...hahahahahhabwahahah! I can't say IT!"
Ted began beating his head with his script. The assistant director, realizing his boss had lost it, stepped in. "Cut!"
Noin walked up to Ted and put her hand on his back. "Don't worry, I got an idea."
The director raised his eyes, looking at the woman with desperate hope. "Really?"
"Sure," She held out a hand, showing the man two smile white pills, "Drug him!."
Ted eyed the woman. "Why is it you always suggest that and I get blamed?"
"Hey, not my fault the author decided to make me the resident drug pusher who can't claim her work!"
Ok, that's all folks. Well, all of the story. For those who care, this is where I tell my reasons why. See, I read a lot of fanfiction, from many different anime shows. Well, one night I was having a Gundam Wing fest. I read several stories - some Yaoi, some het. Well, I got to thinking how there is a set "couple" group in both yaoi and het story lines that have some "romantic" or just plain sex story in it. I mean, sometimes it's a bit mixed up, but those stories generally advertise that they have unusual pairings. Then there is Wufei. The boy is tossed around from one person to the next, and used as the third wheel a lot. Especially in yaoi, but it happens in het, too. So, I was thinking about the poor boys plight, clicked on another story, featuring Wufei paired with different character than the three different characters he'd been paired with in the previous stories, and said, aloud, "Man, Wufei's really a slut." I think you can see where it went...
I don't own Gundam Wing. I have no rights to use it, either. I also do not own (or have rights to): that Eve 6 song, the Paula Cole song (even if I did change one word), Bugs Bunny or Trix, Robin Hood Men in Tights, The Princess Bride...or anything else I forgot about...
~Karma-chan
::sniffle:: Finally finished! This thing has been my baby for over a year now. I mean, it's nothing special, and moved from strange funny to really just strange, but it has been the story I kept going back to when I couldn't think of a new story or I couldn't face my book...or homework... ^_^
by Karma-chan
THIS STORY IS RATED R - for language and adult situations. Including yaoi (slash) and het implications.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I barely own my car. Please don't sue. College students don't make good Sugar Daddies...or Mommas...or whatever. Besides, this is definitely for entertainment purposes only. I work in hell for money. Writing demented fics is fun!
Warning: Reading this fic could be dangerous for your health. Especially if you attempt to do so while driving. Or something else that requires your senses to be concentrating on doing it, and not reading. Get it? Who cares! Must warn you kiddies about the language. Yep, language is used! But, I mean the "adult" type. OH, and adult situations. Implied yaoi, implied hetro. OOC, author doing origami to make things fit, and a bit of Relena bashing. If you don't like it, bite it. I mean, leave. NOW ...
Now, for the really addicted...Wufei, You Little Slut (WYLS) Outtakes!
Treize's Scene
"Shit! I really was supposed to lose!" In his anger, he flung the script over his shoulder instead of depositing it back into the relative safety of his dimensional pocket.
The script was supposed to fly out an open window, but seeing as how George, the window opening guy, had been fired when the director realized the man was being paid an ungodly amount of money to open one window, and the duty roster which had assigned the task to Duo Maxwell had been eaten by Heero Yuy when he mistakenly thought the missive was of the self destruct type, the booklet hit the closed window and bounced back, the sharp corner slamming into Wufei's head. The boy rubbed the spot. "Owwie!"
Duo's Scene
"Heeeeroooo! Is that you?" Duo slid around the corner and, instead of stopping in front of Wufei as he was supposed to, continue to slide, out of control, straight into the door.
Wufei eyed Duo's socks, then the floor. "I think a little less wax is in order."
"Ugh," Duo groaned in agreement.
Relena's Scene
Wufei rolled his eyes as Relena entered. He shook his head, and walked off the set, waving a hand at the director. "I'll be back in an hour."
"Cut!" Relena looked over at Ted. He sighed.
"Relena?"
"Yes?"
"Your attire?"
She looked down at her clothes. Riding jacket, riding pants, riding boots, riding crop. "Oops maybe I should have left that out," she thought. She looked back at Ted. "Yes?"
"Does the word PINK mean anything to you?!" Ted screamed, gesturing to Relena's outfit - which was entirely black.
Relena's eyes narrowed. The staring contest began.
"Maybe if we got her a pink riding crop," a passing technician muttered.
Heero's Scene
Exactly six minutes and twenty-three seconds later - nothing happened. "Shit! It really is stuck!"
"Woo-hoo!" Was Wufei's response.
Sally Po's Scene
"The Doctor is," Quatre stopped. He turned toward's the director. "Exactly what in the hell does a chirp sound like, anyway?!"
"Cut!"
***
A bit later...
***
...Wufei found himself face to face with a very hungry cat. Literally. "Meow!" The cat said. Wufei sneezed. Karma ran onto the set.
"Stupid Ty!" She yelled, scooping up the cat. "Sorry, Wu-man!"
Sally Po just shook her head and turned back to her job. "Just freakin great!" She moaned as she took in Wufei's state. His eyes were red, puffy, and watering. (This outtake is dedicated to my cat, the real Ty, who always shows up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and meows constantly since he is too damn lazy to walk to his food bowl without someone accompanying him because it might be empty and he would need someone to put food in it)
Noin's Scene
"Yeah...I was thinking maybe I'd give you a," Noin paused, her eyes left Wufei's for a moment, then returned. Then her face contorted. "Eww." She looked back at her hand, and slowly removed it from the lower portion of the stick shift. "Eww." She repeated. Suddenly, she jumped from the jeep, and began shaking her hand. "Ewww! Get it off! Gross!"
"Cut!" The director's attention was drawn to the left, where Duo was rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off, while clutching a small jar of vaseline.
(You didn't expect the whole shooting to go without Duo's pranks, didya?)
Quatre and Trowa's Scene
(Quatre pops up out of nowhere): Hey, there aren't any outtakes! I'm just an acting machine.
(Trowa appears out of thin air): Yay, sure. You just didn't have to chirp this time. And all I had to do was shrug, say "good idea", lick my lips, smile, pick Wufei up, and shake my head. Wow.
Karma's Scene
The sound of Wufei's sword being drawn drew the girl's attention, and she turned abruptly. The site of a Gundam pilot standing in her bedroom, weapon drawn, caused the girl to drool.
Wufei stalked off the set, grabbed a towel, and chucked it at Karma. "Stupid fangirls."
"Cut!"
***
Later...
***
"Hello." Wufei smiled. He was going to have fun, by damn! "My name is Chang Wufei. You killed my justice. Prepare to die."
Karma looked at him blandly. "You know, I don't know whether to throw myself on your sword or just fall over and die laughing."
"Cut!" Came the voice of Ted.
The two fell on the floor, laughing their asses off. After a couple of minutes, Wufei sat up, and in his best Yuy impression said, "I always wanted to do that."
Zechs' Scene, Take 1
The Oz soldier dropped his head back. "Just because I told her the truth about her stupid plans!" He raised his head again and frantically looked into the "eyes" of the helmet. "You agree, right? He'd never betray his 'widdle snuggle'..his...hehehe...'widdle'...haha.. BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Cut!"
"Sorry! Sorry!" Zechs laughed.
Zechs' Scene, Take 42
The Oz soldier dropped his head back. "Just because I told her the truth about her stupid plans!" He raised his head again and frantically looked into the "eyes" of the helmet. "You agree, right? He'd never betray his ...hehe...hahahahahhabwahahah! I can't say IT!"
Ted began beating his head with his script. The assistant director, realizing his boss had lost it, stepped in. "Cut!"
Noin walked up to Ted and put her hand on his back. "Don't worry, I got an idea."
The director raised his eyes, looking at the woman with desperate hope. "Really?"
"Sure," She held out a hand, showing the man two smile white pills, "Drug him!."
Ted eyed the woman. "Why is it you always suggest that and I get blamed?"
"Hey, not my fault the author decided to make me the resident drug pusher who can't claim her work!"
Ok, that's all folks. Well, all of the story. For those who care, this is where I tell my reasons why. See, I read a lot of fanfiction, from many different anime shows. Well, one night I was having a Gundam Wing fest. I read several stories - some Yaoi, some het. Well, I got to thinking how there is a set "couple" group in both yaoi and het story lines that have some "romantic" or just plain sex story in it. I mean, sometimes it's a bit mixed up, but those stories generally advertise that they have unusual pairings. Then there is Wufei. The boy is tossed around from one person to the next, and used as the third wheel a lot. Especially in yaoi, but it happens in het, too. So, I was thinking about the poor boys plight, clicked on another story, featuring Wufei paired with different character than the three different characters he'd been paired with in the previous stories, and said, aloud, "Man, Wufei's really a slut." I think you can see where it went...
I don't own Gundam Wing. I have no rights to use it, either. I also do not own (or have rights to): that Eve 6 song, the Paula Cole song (even if I did change one word), Bugs Bunny or Trix, Robin Hood Men in Tights, The Princess Bride...or anything else I forgot about...
~Karma-chan
::sniffle:: Finally finished! This thing has been my baby for over a year now. I mean, it's nothing special, and moved from strange funny to really just strange, but it has been the story I kept going back to when I couldn't think of a new story or I couldn't face my book...or homework... ^_^