Chapter 2: Revelations and Plans

'Here they are!' said Phoebe, looking indulgently at Monica and Rachel as they entered Central Perk hand in hand, last of all the group to appear.

'Sorry we're late!' Monica cried, but she looked anything but sorry. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks were slightly flushed, and her smile was dazzling. Phoebe gave a meaning cough, caught Rachel's eye, and shook her head in mock reproof. Rachel giggled and winked, completely unabashed; she was also looking particularly beautiful and happy.

Ross frowned. He had managed to accept Monica and Rachel's relationship, but sometimes he wished that they would not be quite so obvious about the fact that they made love. 'Well, everyone's here now?' he said. 'Kathy still rehearsing, Chandler?'

'Yes,' said Chandler resignedly. 'You know how it is. When Joey's in a play, we barely see him when it gets close to opening night.'

'Right,' said Ross. 'Okay, so this is all we're going to be. Anyone got any ideas for where to eat?'

The custom of eating as a group every Sunday night that they could manage had become established not too long after Ross's marriage, as a way for Ross in particular to keep in touch with his friends. Emily positively encouraged this, saying that it gave her a night off from cooking and washing up and a chance to see Monica and Rachel, of whom she had become very fond since they had done so much to make her feel at home in New York.

'How about Japanese?' said Rachel mischievously. 'I could really go for some unagi.'

[Author's note: I know The One With The Unagi comes in Series 6. This is around Series 6 time, so let's suppose that Ross has been going on about unagi at some point between his marriage and the opening of this story]

Ross drew in a breath, saw everyone else looking at him in amused expectancy, including Emily, and let it out again. 'You might let that one go, Rach,' he said in an aggrieved tone. 'I'm sure the word I want must be very like unagi.'

Rachel giggled. 'I'm sorry, Ross, I just couldn't resist it. All right, seriously, I'm in the mood for something oriental, and not too heavy. I've made some brownies, with help from Monica, and I want you guys to try them after dinner.'

'Ooh, brownies!' said Emily, her eyes lighting up. 'I love brownies!'

'We'll make sure to keep some for you,' said Monica, 'so you don't need to hold back at dinner.'

'As if I would anyway,' said Emily, grinning. 'None of this slimming nonsense for me.'

'That's my girl,' said Joey, who thoroughly approved of Emily's hearty appetite. 'Well, I'd prefer Chinese to Japanese. You get more for your dough, the way I see it.'

Since no one objected or had any other positive suggestions, they agreed on a Chinese meal, rang round to get a reservation, and shortly set off. Monica and Rachel were in such high spirits that they infected the whole group. Even Ross relaxed completely and joined in recalling memories of all the ludicrous things that had happened to them, individually and together, which they managed to make so funny that Emily was reduced to tears of laughter, even though she had heard several of the stories before.

The general atmosphere of bonhomie prompted Joey to introduce the story of his bet with Chandler, before Chandler could prevent it. The reaction, however, was not what he expected. After a moment's stunned silence, Emily said slowly, 'I don't think that's very funny.'

'Yeah, betting on whether you'll get someone into bed – that's pretty unfeeling, you guys,' said Ross. 'And this means we'll have "Oh – my – God!" Janice around again. Didn't you care about all the anguish you will be inflicting on us?'

Rachel angrily drew breath to speak, but Monica tugged urgently at her sleeve and leaned in to whisper, 'Don't tell them. If they think they're going to have some fun with this, we can have some fun with them. Joey needs a lesson, don't you think?'

A smile spread across Rachel's face, and she nodded. Nobody noticed this, because Phoebe had attracted the others' attention by saying emphatically, 'You're meddling with forces you don't understand, Joey.'

Joey shook his head. 'You're wrong, Pheebs, I understand women perfectly,' he said with a smirk, then ducked hastily as the women threw napkins and half-eaten rolls at him. 'What was that for?' he said with an air of injured innocence. 'I didn't say anything wrong.'

'You only understand one kind of woman, Joey Tribbiani,' said Phoebe severely.

'Yeah,' said Rachel, 'the easy kind.'

'Not what I was thinking,' said Phoebe a bit huffily. 'No, what I was going to say was, Joey, your women are generally, y'know, uncomplicated. Janice is complicated – '

'I'll say,' Chandler chimed in. 'Look, Joe, tell you what, you can back out, but you forfeit, shall we say twenty bucks?'

' – and,' Phoebe continued, glaring at Chandler for interrupting her, 'you don't handle complicated women well. Look at Kate.'

This made Joey look thoughtful for a moment, but then he shook his head. 'Nah, Janice is nothing like Kate.'

Emily was looking perplexed. 'Who is Janice, anyway?' she said.

There was a pregnant pause. Then, before any of the men could speak, Monica said, 'Let's not spoil a good evening with talk of Janice. Rachel and I can tell you all about her sometime, Emily. The only thing you need to know is that she had a long history with Chandler, and we used to find her hard to take.'

This effectively undercut the more derogatory comments that Ross and Joey looked ready to make. Rachel squeezed Monica's arm and murmured 'Smart!' admiringly. Monica grinned at her, then noticed that Phoebe was staring at her fixedly. When she turned, Phoebe raised her eyebrows in an exaggerated look of enquiry.

'Later,' Monica mouthed at her. Luckily, Phoebe caught the sense of this; she nodded.

When they returned to Monica and Rachel's apartment to sample the brownies, Phoebe sidled up to Monica. 'You're up to something,' she said. 'You jumped in on Emily's question very fast.'

'Can't get much past you,' said Monica lightly. 'Look, if we take some time to tell Emily about Janice, I can explain what's going on at the same time.'

'Fine,' said Phoebe.

'Okay,' said Monica in a loud voice. 'We're now going to give Emily the lowdown on Janice from the women's point of view, so why don't you guys take another brownie and go watch TV or play computer games or something?'

'Fine with me,' said Ross. 'I've had enough of Janice to last me a long time. Come collect me when you're ready, Emily.'

The men trooped out, and Emily looked at Monica with an amused expression, 'You seem very keen for the men not to have their say on this,' she remarked.

Monica laughed. 'You're as bad as Phoebe. You should team up as detectives. Well, the fact is, Janice came to visit us this afternoon, and we're going to help her.'

'Wow!' said Phoebe. 'And of course we tip her off about what's going on, so she can give Joey a hard time?' She looked gleeful at the prospect.

'That's my thinking,' said Monica. 'He needs a little lesson. Okay, Emily, here's the whole story.' She proceeded to tell Emily the history of Janice and Chandler, with Rachel and Phoebe commenting occasionally, and ended with the revelations of Janice's visit.

'I always thought that she and Chandler were cute together, when they met over the Web,' said Phoebe. 'I told you all the stuff he said then, like how great she was and all that. It made me think differently about her. If you could change her way of talking and carrying on, she could be a great person, that anyone would want.'

'She sounds rather fun, to me,' said Emily. 'I'd like to meet her.'

'Why don't you come round when she visits us?' said Monica. 'She might bring her baby too.'

'Maybe you could train her to talk with a British accent,' said Rachel mischievously.

Emily giggled. 'It's not easily done, though one or two American film stars have managed it. But it sounds to me as if her natural way of talking just wouldn't fit. You don't want her speaking in a monotone, like Marlon Brando in that film about stirring up a slave revolt in the Caribbean – he showed no expression in his voice at all! Very few Englishmen talk like that.'

'You disappoint me,' said Phoebe. 'You mean they're not all stuffed shirts? Of course, I didn't go to London to see for myself.' Monica and Rachel rolled their eyes at each other; they thought Phoebe had given up harping on this ancient grievance.

'Well, you wouldn't call those friends of mine who played rugby with Ross, and who you met, stuffed shirts, now would you?' said Emily spiritedly. 'Englishmen tend to be much more like that these days than like … David Niven, for example.'

'Now I am disappointed,' said Phoebe. 'You mean there aren't even any like Hugh Grant?' She looked at Emily dolefully.

Emily laughed. 'You're winding me up, aren't you?' she said, and suddenly leaned forward and gave Phoebe a hug and kiss. 'I do like you people. Sometimes I think … well, never mind. I'd love to come round to meet Janice. Just give me a call when you fix a meeting. I can do my typing any time, as long as I make the deadline.'

'Still no luck getting a full-time job?' said Phoebe sympathetically.

Emily made a face. 'Oh, they're ready to hire a person with a British accent for the front desk, or to answer calls, but they don't take me seriously when it comes to proper jobs. Maybe I should take a job like that just to get a foothold, but,' she sighed heavily, 'I don't think Ross would like it – and I suppose that's what has to count. Well, I'd better collect him and get home.'

She got to her feet, kissed them all goodbye, and went out. When she had gone, Monica sighed.

'I'm not sure all is completely well in that marriage,' she said a little sombrely.

'No,' said Phoebe in a neutral tone.

'Oh, I did want Ross to be happy,' said Rachel rather sadly. 'Is there anything we can do?'

Monica sighed again. 'Not much, until they admit there is a problem. We must just be as supportive as we can for both of them.'

Rachel nodded. 'At least Ross is not uptight about Emily hanging out with us. You remember all that fuss about Susan?'

'Even Ross could hardly imagine that you guys are interested in anyone but each other,' said Phoebe fondly. 'You know, I feel a little jealous of what you have sometimes, and I doubt I'm the only one. But, hey, do you think Chandler and Kathy are getting on well?'

'Oh, not Chandler too!' Rachel wailed. 'Monica, say it isn't so!'

Monica hugged her. 'My dear soft-hearted Rachel. No, I think they're doing okay at the moment – but I wouldn't bet against their breaking up eventually. It just doesn't seem to be going anywhere.' She looked at Phoebe seriously. I'm sorry if we make you feel jealous, Pheebs. We're certainly not trying to.'

Phoebe waved her hands dismissively. 'It's inevitable – and it's not like I'm unhappy. It's just … sometimes I'd like to be where you are. Other times I think, no, I want to keep my independence.'

'We have that,' said Monica gently.

'Yeah, because neither of you is a guy,' said Phoebe a little fiercely. 'With a guy, I don't care what you say, you lose your independence. You're all the time thinking of how he is going to be feeling about things, like Emily just now.'

'Lots of guys spend all the time worrying about how their wives or girlfriends will feel about things,' said Rachel reasonably. 'Look at Chandler when he was with Janice that last time.'

Phoebe threw up her hands. 'Ooh, I can't have a good old rant at guys with you any more! Now you're together, seems like you're so sympathetic to guys, even though you've rejected them.'

 Monica and Rachel both laughed. 'Maybe it's because we're not hung up on how to get into relationships with them now,' said Monica, 'but unlike true lesbians, we have had relationships with them in the past, and so we know what they can be like. We can see both sides, and be balanced about it all.'

'Well, so can I, I guess,' said Phoebe. 'So, anyway, when are we going to have a session of, like, grooming Janice for stardom?'

They got out diaries and discussed possible dates. Late afternoon on the following Friday seemed a good one, so Monica rang Janice to confirm. She took the opportunity to warn her of the bet between Chandler and Joey, and held the phone away from her ear with a pained expression as Janice's 'What?' rang through the room loud and clear.

'We could have a lot of fun with this, if you'll play along,' she said in a placating way, and outlined some ideas, like that she should be at her most exaggerated when with Joey, but completely toned down when in Central Perk, where they expected that she would show up sooner or later.

'I guess I'll need some training to be toned down,' Janice said wryly. 'But I agree, this could be fun. In fact,' she went on in a conspiratorial tone, 'since you have inside information, maybe you could get some bets down, for yourselves and me. We would be betting with the best of it, which is the way I dearly love to bet, as Damon Runyon would put it.' She burst into machinegun laughter, then stopped abruptly and said, 'Oops. Sorry, Monica.'

'That's okay,' said Monica. 'You mustn't get out of practice altogether. I think Chandler might get suspicious if we wanted to put bets down, but it's worth thinking about. We should see how things develop.'

'Yeah,' said Janice. 'Well, I'll keep a weather eye open for Joey. See you Friday.'