Chapter 5: Appreciation For An Art Lover

Author's Note: For Janice's love of art, see 2, 24. I can't recall anything in any episode suggesting that Ross has such an interest, but as the most intellectual of the Friends he could well do so, and why not Emily too? At this time of present-giving, it can be my gift to her.

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'Guys, I have something to tell you,' said Joey nervously. They were all assembled for their Sunday night meeting, including Kathy.

The others looked at him enquiringly.

'Janice will be here soon,' he said. 'She's, um, going on a date with me. I know you don't approve, but give me a fair chance to win my bet with Chandler, okay? Don't give her hints about what's going on.'

Most of the women darted sly glances at each other.

'Sure, Joey,' said Rachel easily. 'We'll keep our mouths shut.'

'Well, if Janice is coming, we're going,' Ross growled, getting up. But Emily didn't move.

'Oh Ross, let's stay a little while,' she said in a wheedling voice. 'Remember, I've never met Janice, and I find it hard to believe that she's as awful as you make out.'

'Oh, very well,' said Ross grumpily, sitting down again. 'But I'm not staying long.'

'What about you?' said Kathy to Chandler. 'I'd have thought you'd run a mile, from what you've told me.'

'Ah, but there's money involved,' said Chandler lightly.

'Chandler, you aren't planning to sabotage me, are you?' said Joey indignantly. 'That's not fair!'

As Chandler was defending himself, with an air of injured innocence, the door of Central Perk opened and Janice walked in. Phoebe was first to spot her as she hung up her coat, then approached; the rest were too focussed on Joey and Chandler's squabble. Janice put her finger to her lips. Phoebe grinned.

'Hey you guys,' Janice said, when she reached them. 'Long time no see.' She spoke in a quiet and rather unemphatic voice, but her nasal tone still made it carry. Almost as one, the group turned.

'H-hi, Janice,' said Joey, jumping up fast. 'Here, take my seat. Get you some coffee?'

'Well, coffee seems to be the order of the day,' said Janice, with just a trace of the old voice in there. 'A small latte, please.' As he hurried off, she sat down and looked around. 'There's people here I don't know,' she said. 'May I be introduced?'

'Uh, yeah,' said Ross, taking over. 'Janice, this is Emily, my wife, and this is Kathy, Chandler's, um …'

'Girlfriend,' said Kathy brightly. 'Pleased to meet you, Janice. I've heard so much about you.'

'Nothing but good, I hope,' said Janice, smiling guilelessly. 'At least, I'd like to think Chandler didn't dump on me too badly. We had some good times.'

Chandler positively squirmed in his seat, and Ross's hiss of indrawn breath suggested he was expecting the dreaded laugh as a follow-up; when it did not materialise, he looked totally disoriented. Watching him, Rachel had to clench her teeth together not to laugh, and beside her Monica made a noise that she hastily turned into a cough.

'So, Emily, you're from Britain, I hear,' said Janice in a friendly way. 'Do you mind if I ask some dumb questions? I've never been there, unlike Ross's friends who went to his wedding.'

'Fire away,' said Emily, controlling her smirk as Janice momentarily drooped an eyelid at her.

Ross now looked complacent, as if expecting that the questions would indeed be dumb.

'Well, first off, who gets to be a lord?' said Janice. 'I find all that title stuff really confusing. And where does the House of Lords fit in the British constitution?'

'I'm not surprised if you're confused,' said Emily. She listed the different ranks of peer, mentioned life peers, and was just getting onto courtesy titles when Janice held up a hand.

'Yeah, I know you have to be duke or lord or whatever of something, to be counted,' she said. 'But what powers do the members of the House of Lords have, then?'

Emily had to think harder for this one, but Janice helped her out by proving to know part of the answer already, and extracting the rest by well-chosen questions. Her voice remained rather unemphatic, and her performance in general was so understated, compared with what they remembered, that even those secretly favourable to her found it hard to believe it was the same woman. Ross and Chandler both looked shell-shocked, and when Joey returned with the latte his mouth fell open at the topic under discussion, which had now broadened to include the role of the monarchy. He sat on the arm of her chair with a look of extreme puzzlement on his face. Kathy also looked surprised, but for a different reason: this woman did not fit Chandler's description of her at all.

'Just going to the john,' said Monica, getting up abruptly. She turned her face away, but Rachel could see her lips trembling. This gave an almost irresistible boost to the desire to laugh that Rachel had been suppressing with increasing difficulty.

'Me too,' she cried, jumping up and hurrying after her. She walked into the restroom to find Monica bent over a basin, in a fit of laughter that sounded almost like sobbing. She turned her head to Rachel and tried to speak, then simply shook her head and opened her arms. They clung to each other, overcome.

Monica was first to recover. 'Oh – my – God!' she said. 'The guys' faces! Did you ever see anything so funny? I just had to get out of there, or I would have exploded.' She started giggling again.

'Chandler,' Rachel gasped. 'Chandler,' but she could not get any more out. It was actually painful to laugh so much, but she could not help it.

'This is better than I could have dreamed,' said Monica. 'Well, I might as well use the john while I'm here.' She went into a cubicle, from which occasional bursts of giggling emerged, while Rachel turned on a cold tap and splashed her face and neck with cold water to calm herself down.

Meanwhile, as Ross joined in the conversation, and he and Emily began disputing some rather technical point vigorously, watched by Janice, Kathy tugged urgently at Chandler's sleeve. When he turned to her, she hissed, 'She isn't like how you described her at all!' in a rather accusing voice.

'I can't explain it,' he hissed back. 'She's totally different.' He glanced at Janice, as if fearful of being overheard, and found that her eyes were on him. She smiled in a friendly way.

'So, Chandler, how's everything?' she said, leaning forward so that her voice could be heard. 'No hard feelings about all that Yemen stuff, by the way.'

'Oh … good,' said Chandler, feeling acutely uncomfortable. 'I'm good, I mean I'm fine. My job's fine, Kathy's fine, and if I could just shut up everything would be fine!' He knew he was babbling, but couldn't stop; to distract himself, he slapped the back of his head.

Janice laughed – not her usual machinegun laugh, but a cheerful sound indicating real amusement. 'I miss the way you used to make me laugh,' she said a little wistfully.

'What's this about Yemen?' demanded Kathy loudly. 'I never heard you say anything about Yemen.'

A silence fell, in which Phoebe could be heard making a noise that appeared to represent an attempt to suppress laughter. It failed, and she bent double, helpless, for a few seconds, before getting control of herself.

'It was so funny,' she explained to Kathy, who was looking at her in surprise. 'Poor Chandler had to go all the way to Yemen, because he couldn't work up the nerve to tell Janice that he didn't want to get back with her again, and so he said he'd been transferred toYemen, and she came and helped him pack, and,' her voice quavered, '… and saw him to the airport and, and onto the plane …' She broke down again.

Ross gave a belly laugh, and both Emily and Kathy giggled, but before anyone else could speak Joey said resentfully, 'Yeah, and I was the one who had to break it to Janice, in the end.'

'Never mind,' said Janice, patting him on the arm and not looking at all put out by all the amusement being displayed over this incident, 'you did it very well. But, as I just said, I don't bear a grudge. So, anyway, where are we going for our date, Joey?'

'Well, since you said you liked Italian food, there's this place I know,' said Joey enthusiastically. 'They do the biggest helpings of bolognese sauce in town.'

'Sounds fine,' said Janice, beaming at him. After a moment of surprise, he grinned back.

By now Monica and Rachel had returned. To their relief they perceived that the men seemed to be adapting to the 'new Janice'. In fact, Chandler looked about to say something to her, but Ross got in first.

'I heard you have an interest in art, Janice,' he said fairly genially. 'Something about you and Chandler visiting the Guggenheim website together?'

'Oh yeah,' said Janice enthusiastically. 'Well, I'm not an expert or anything, but there's a lot that I like.'

They exchanged comments on works in the Guggenheim that they particularly liked. Emily joined in with comments on the London art galleries, and before long an animated discussion of tastes in art had begun, mainly conducted between the three of them, but with occasional contributions from most of the others, even Joey, who managed to dredge up a totally inappropriate comment about Velazquez that he remembered from the solitary encyclopaedia volume that he possessed. Rachel felt that she had nothing to say, but was content to watch. She soon noticed that Ross and Emily almost seemed to be vying for Janice's attention, while Kathy and even Chandler seemed eager to know her opinion on views of their own. Throughout, although as she got more excited she emphasised occasional words in her old way, Janice showed none of her other overdramatising tendencies, and Rachel felt that overall she was doing an amazingly good job of projecting a new image. She caught the eye of Monica and Phoebe, and they nodded in satisfaction to each other.

It was Janice who finally called a halt. 'Guys, this discussion has been fascinating,' she said, 'but all this intellectual talk has made me hungry. What time's our reservation, Joey?'

'Holy cow!' he cried, looking at his wrist watch. 'We should've been there half an hour ago. Do you think they'll hold the table?'

'On Sunday night?' said Chandler scornfully. 'Not a chance. You'd better come and eat with us.'

'No, hold on,' said Janice, and pulled a cell phone from her bag. She quickly established that the table could be held, said that they would be there as soon as possible, and got to her feet.

'We must be off,' she said. 'It was great seeing you all again, and meeting you, Emily and Kathy.'

'You should drop by again,' said Monica, now fairly confident that the men would not object. 'In fact, if you're in the building, why not come visit?'

'Love to,' said Janice with a slightly sly grin. 'Bye, everybody.'

She and Joey hurried out to a chorus of friendly farewells. They were hardly out of the door when Ross turned to Emily and said, 'We should definitely invite Janice to dinner – or both of them, if we have to.'

'Oh, absolutely,' said Emily. 'I'm sure Joey won't mind our discussing art, as long as there's plenty of food. Or maybe we could talk theatre, about which he ought to know something.'

'Don't bet on it,' said Chandler, but was distracted before he could enlarge on this by Kathy pulling on his sleeve again.

'I cannot understand you,' she said. 'That's a very interesting woman.'

Chandler shook his head in apparent bemusement. 'I told you, she's different. I knew before in a sort of way that she was clued up on this art stuff, but somehow we never got talking about it much.'

'We never took the trouble to find out about her interests,' said Monica rather severely. 'We let her voice and manner put us off – and you never bothered to let us know, if you did.'

Chandler shrugged, looking embarrassed.

'Maybe she realised that she was putting people off and made an effort to change,' said Emily, apparently innocently.

Rachel bit her lip to stop herself giggling. Phoebe was less successful, and made a bursting noise.

'What's so funny, Pheebs?' said Chandler curiously.

'Well, um,' she said slowly, then, in a rush, 'I was just thinking, how about your bet now? It looked like Joey was, y'know, actually taking Janice seriously.'

'Ah, but will she take him seriously?' said Chandler. 'No, I still think my money's safe.'

'I think you should call off the whole thing,' said Emily rather fiercely. 'It doesn't seem right to make someone like Janice the subject of a crude bet like that.'

'Yes, Chandler, it's not very nice,' said Kathy reproachfully.

Chandler looked very uneasy. 'Well, it's up to Joe. I'll, I'll see what he thinks.' He sought for a quick distraction. 'So, where shall we eat tonight?'

This was temporarily successful, but once they had decided and got there, talk over the meal often returned to the theme of Janice and what an interesting person she was proving to be, to his chagrin. Ross was surprisingly vocal on the subject, to an extent that made Emily look at him a little suspiciously once or twice.

Once dinner was over, the other two couples took their leave of Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe, who walked back to the apartment together, not wanting to break up so relatively early in the evening.

'Didn't you think Ross was behaving a bit strangely?' said Rachel. 'It was almost like he had got a crush on Janice.'

'Yeah,' said Monica. 'It was a bit noticeable. But he obviously enjoyed a chance to discuss his interest in art.'

'I prefer Janice's approach,' said Phoebe thoughtfully. 'Ross knows more of the things to say about artists, but she's better at saying why she likes things.'

'Whatever, I think our session with her has paid off,' said Monica. 'We can be proud of what we've accomplished.'

'Well, it was Emily, as much as anyone,' said Rachel. 'But she built on the foundations you laid,' she added, squeezing Monica's hand, when she looked a bit put out.

They walked on in contented silence.

'Say, I wonder how Joey's getting on,' Rachel remarked suddenly.

'There he is now,' said Phoebe, looking ahead. 'Hey Joey!' she called, waving. He stopped and waited for them.

'Back so soon, Joey?' said Monica as they came up with him.

'She couldn't stay out late, because of Maggie,' said Joey. He looked and sounded rather downhearted.

'What's the matter, didn't it go well?' said Phoebe, as they entered the apartment building.

Joey shrugged. 'Okay, I guess, but …' he paused, and then burst out, 'I couldn't get her to take me seriously!' He sounded genuinely hurt. 'She even started acting up again and doing that laugh.'

'It's probably nerves, Joey,' said Rachel soothingly. 'Remember, she probably hasn't had a date in a long while. I'll bet, if you put in more effort, you could get somewhere.'

'Joey, do you really want Janice to take you seriously?' Monica enquired as she let them into the apartment.

Joey looked embarrassed. 'Well, yeah.'

'Just so you can win your bet?' she pursued.

Joey looked at the floor, shifted uneasily, and sighed. 'No, not just that. I … I never realised before how smart she is.'

'Yeah, well, we're only just beginning to realise,' said Monica, sitting down.

'Joey, just why did you make this bet with Chandler in the first place?' said Phoebe suddenly. 'I mean, how did it come about? You never explained that. How did you come to be talking of Janice, when Chandler was generally so hostile to her?'

Joey flushed. 'Not gonna tell you,' he mumbled.

'Oho!' said Phoebe, suddenly intent. 'Now we're getting to it. This is something to do with sex, isn't it?'

Joey looked obstinate. 'I don't wanna talk about it.'

He made for the door, but Phoebe was faster. She flattened herself against it. 'You aren't getting out of here until you 'fess up, Joey Tribbiani,' she said with a very determined look in her eye. 'Come on, we're all adults here, though I do have my doubts about you sometimes. It can't be so bad.'

Joey looked very guilty. 'It's not the sort of thing guys should talk about with girls.'

All three laughed at him. 'Joey, we've been there,' Monica chortled. 'We've all done stuff with guys, and talked about it among ourselves.'

'Yeah, spit it out,' said Rachel, 'or no more cookies for you.' She tried to glare at him, not very successfully.

Joey groaned and threw up his hands. 'Okay, okay! Chandler said …' – he swallowed – 'Chandler said Janice would try anything and, and she was always very appreciative.'

'So you wanted a girl who would try anything,' concluded Phoebe. 'It figures that most of your girls won't.' Her voice sounded rather condemnatory and she was looking at him severely.

Joey looked as if he wanted to run and hide. 'We, we were talking about relationships,' he said hastily, 'and I just asked why he kept going back to her. He said a lot of other things that weren't to do with sex as well.'

'Mm,' went Phoebe noncommittally. 'Not a promising start, though, if you, like, want to get together with her.' She looked at him enquiringly, then shot out fiercely, 'Do you?'

Joey ran his hands through his hair. 'I don't know, but … it could be fun.' He looked around at them and grinned a little lopsidedly. 'Geez, I never thought I'd say that about Janice.'

'Well, I think you're going to have work out how you really feel about her,' said Phoebe seriously. 'But, for the record, I too think you should drop this bet. You won't be able to act naturally around her if you're always, y'know, thinking about the money.'

Joey nodded. 'You're right. I'll talk to Chandler.'