One day, on a Metal Gear fansite, three warriors joined forces and created an epic saga.
The three were Ollie Raiden, Nikita Coyote (MEE!), and WoalieMan.
With his grant of permission, Ollie, the beginner of the project, handed down the tale to Coyote.
Nikita Coyote then took the alias "Solid Hamster" and posted the epic for all of fanfiction.net to see it's splendor...of sorts...
I hereby bring to you bring to you...
METAL GEAR KIDS!
~By Nikita "Solid Hamster" Coyote, Ollie Raiden and WoalieMan~
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~Coyote (that's mee!! Woo-hooo!)~
Meryl: Snake, let's play house!
Snake: EWW! No! House is a girl's game!
(Runs away)
Meryl: Poo-head! Nyaa!
---Ten minutes later---
(Snake is walking by himself when suddenly Liquid runs up holding a toy Hind-D and starts circling him)
Liquid: WOOOSH!!!
Snake: ...What are you doing?
Liquid: I'M CIRCLING YOU, BROTHER!! BETTER TAKE COVER!!! AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Snake: Go away, Liquid!! Stop bothering me!!
(Snake trips Liquid, steals his toy Hind-D, and bolts)
Liquid: MIIINE!!! SOMEDAY YOU'RE GOING DOWN, SNAKE, ALONG WITH THIS PLAYGROUND!!!
---meanwhile---
Meryl: Hey, Mei-Ling, have you seen Rosie? I wanna play house!
Mei-Ling: Nope, but I did make this really cool calculator! Wanna see?
Meryl: No.
Mei-Ling: Fine, whatever, I'm gonna go to the swing-set!
(Mei-Ling runs off and Meryl continues her search for Rose)
Mei-Ling: ...Gee, it's awfully quiet...
(Mei-Ling approaches the swing-set, but suddenly notices some strange-looking mittens with shoe-laces attached to them)
Mei-Ling: What? Somebody left their mittens!! Maybe they're coming back...?
(An all-too-familiar-shadow looms behind Mei-Ling)
???: Right! Touch my swing and the mittens will blow-up!! AHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Mei-Ling: Hey!! You can't reserve a swing!! They belong to everyone!!!
Ocelot: --And what are you going to do about it, you little sissy?!
Mei-Ling: I...I'll.......WAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
(Mei-Ling throws her calculator at Ocelot and runs away to tell on him)
Ocelot: Hrmph! TATTLE-TALE!!
--------------
(Snake, still holding the Hind-D toy he snatched from Liquid, runs up to Campbell)
Snake: Mission accomplished! Here you go!
(hands Campbell the toy)
Campbell: Thanks! When Liquid stole it from me, he threatened to bury it in the sandbox!! I was really worried!!
Snake: Yeah, that's where he usually hangs out, along with that Ocelot kid!
---meanwhile---
Rose: Jack!! Me and Meryl are playing house! Come play with us!!
Jack: No!
Rose and Meryl: PLEEEEEASEEEE!!!
Jack: NOOOOOO!
Rose: All you ever think about is yourself!! I've always been alone thanks to you!!! GOOD-BYE!!!
Jack: ...Huh?
-------
(Snake is walking down the hallway, when suddenly he hears yelling. He runs around the corner to see a mysterious kid in a halloween ninja costume)
Snake: WHO ARE YOU?!
???: I'm like you, ...I have no name.
Snake: What?
???: Never mind! Let's fight!!
If I win, you fork-over your lunch-money!!
Snake: You're on, butt-head!!
( Snake and the mysterious nondescript engage in battle. Liquid walks around the corner and sees them fighting.)
Liquid: COOOOOOOOOL!!! A FIGHT!!!!!!!!!
A FIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(everybody hears Liquid and crowds around Snake and the ninja as they continue fighting.)
???: ONLY A WUSS TRUSTS HIS LIFE TO A WEAPON!!
( Suddenly, the ninja kid starts screaming and screeching and runs away)
???: M-MY MEDICATION!!!!!! MUST...TAKE!!!! EYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
(the Ninja then runs into the clinic. Everybody gets dissappointed and leaves Snake by himself.)
Snake: ...What just happened.....?
(suddenly a strange noise comes from a nearby locker)
Snake: Huh--? Who's there?
(Snake opens the locker and out falls a scrawny kid with glasses)
???: THANKS!! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!
Snake: Yuck, you went wee-wee!
???: ACK!! Don't tell anybody!! PLEASE!!
Snake: I won't. Who are you?
???: I'm Hal-- err....Otacon!! That's right!! Otacon!!
Snake: ...Otacon...?
Otacon: You know...Otaku Convention...
Snake: Umm...whatever....
So why was that ninja kid after you?
Otacon: I found out that Liquid and Ocelot are planning to build a fort in Naomi's back-yard and try to take-over the playground! If that happens, nobody will ever be safe in the playground ever again!!
Snake: Poop! We've gotta stop them!!
...but why Naomi's back-yard?
Otacon: I don't know, but I think that kid in that halloween ninja suit tried to stop me from spreading the word.
Snake: ...Well, what do you have in mind to stop them?
Otacon: I have a tree-house!! That can be our base!!
Snake: "Our" base? So I'm already a member, huh?
Otacon: We need a name.....
How bout Philanthropy?
Snake: Phila-what? Umm, okay, sure.
Otacon: We gotta rally members!! C'mon!
~WoalieMan~
Snake: Hey, what about this guy?
(Otacon & Snake walk up to Raiden)
Snake: Hi, kid. What's your name?
Raiden: Ugh....Raiden
Snake: Hmmmph. That's a weird name.
(Snake studies Raiden)
Otacon: Hi
(Otacon blushes)
Otacon: I like you
(Raiden looks confused)
Raiden: WHAT!?!?!
Otacon: You're pretty
Raiden: IM A BOY!!!!!!
(Raiden runs off crying, Otacon looks embarrassed and runs off crying too)
Snake: ...oooook....
(Snake finds Raiden)
Raiden: Go away!
Snake: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I want to know if you want to join me and my friends SECRET CLUB!!!!!!
(Raiden stops crying and stares at Snake)
Raiden: Secret, huh?
Snake: yeah, It's called....ugh.... Philanthropy....or...somethin'
Raiden: Ewwww! A secret club for Feeling Ants and Trophies! Yuck.....
Snake(angry):Ugh... No, it's called PHILANTROPHY . ONE WORD.
Raiden: Feeling Ant & Trophies and Then birds!?!?!
Snake: oh, you're such a poohead.
Raiden(upset): WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
(Snake slaps Raiden)
Snake: JUST JOIN. We want to stop Liquid and Ocelot from taking over the playgound.
Raiden: Join, huh? Alright.
Snake: YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!! Otacon! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER! YAaaaaaaAAAAayy!
(Snake, Raiden and Otacon stop. They hear a noise.)
Raiden: What was that?
Snake: I don't know.
Otacon(scared): I hope it's not that ninja again.. Eeeee.
(Otacon runs away and suddenly, from the shadows, out jumps a mysterious kid, wearing a coat and pants. He has a stick. He grabs Snake from behind in a headlock and puts the stick to his throat)
???: Hissssssss
Snake(to Raiden): What are you waiting for! Throw something at him!
Raiden: Hehehe He's NOT WEARING A TOP! AHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Snake: *sighs*
???: Hmmm, strange smell. You smell like.....AAAAAWWWWWWW JEEEZ YOU FARTED!!!!!!!! AHAHAHA heeeeeeeeee heeeee!!!! Peeeeooow!
(Raiden grabs a stick off of the ground and aims it at ???)
Raiden: Don't move or i'll throw it!
Snake: Finally!
???: Let's go.
(Raiden throws the stick at ??? and ??? dodges it inhumanly fast. He stops, laughs and pushes Snake onto the ground, cutting his arm.)
Snake: Owwwww! My arm! WWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHH!
???: haha *sticks out tongue and jumps away*
Raiden: Who or what was that thing!??!
Snake: His name's Vamp. He's from down the road, a wizard with sticks as you saw.
Raiden: Are you gunna be ok?
Snake(being brave): Yeah. Just give me a few minutes.
(Snake pulls a lollipop out of his pocket and sticks it in his mouth)
Snake: It soothes the pain.
Raiden: You're so brave.
Snake: Yeah, I know. Go, go find Otacon. The kid with the glasses and the white coat.
Raiden: Whit coat, huh? What if i need to contact you?
Snake: Here-
(Snake hands him a cup with some string on the end)
Raiden: Huh?
Snake: Talk into the cup. I'll be able to hear you with my cup.
(Snake holds up his cup, the two cups are joined by string)
Raiden: Ok. Bye bye.
(He turns and walks off. He realizes
something and then turns and runs to Snake)
Raiden: Wait a minute. I dont know your name!
Snake. My name is S.....My name is Pliskin. Iroquios Pliskin. Kindergarten Junior Grade.
Raiden: Kindergarten, huh? I'm goin' next year.
Snake: Cool. Now go.
(Raiden leaves Snake. Snake holds his sore arm and picks up a cup he wispers to Otacon about his false name)
------TO BE CONTINUED------
What did ya think?! You like/hate/despise?!
The three were Ollie Raiden, Nikita Coyote (MEE!), and WoalieMan.
With his grant of permission, Ollie, the beginner of the project, handed down the tale to Coyote.
Nikita Coyote then took the alias "Solid Hamster" and posted the epic for all of fanfiction.net to see it's splendor...of sorts...
I hereby bring to you bring to you...
METAL GEAR KIDS!
~By Nikita "Solid Hamster" Coyote, Ollie Raiden and WoalieMan~
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~Coyote (that's mee!! Woo-hooo!)~
Meryl: Snake, let's play house!
Snake: EWW! No! House is a girl's game!
(Runs away)
Meryl: Poo-head! Nyaa!
---Ten minutes later---
(Snake is walking by himself when suddenly Liquid runs up holding a toy Hind-D and starts circling him)
Liquid: WOOOSH!!!
Snake: ...What are you doing?
Liquid: I'M CIRCLING YOU, BROTHER!! BETTER TAKE COVER!!! AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Snake: Go away, Liquid!! Stop bothering me!!
(Snake trips Liquid, steals his toy Hind-D, and bolts)
Liquid: MIIINE!!! SOMEDAY YOU'RE GOING DOWN, SNAKE, ALONG WITH THIS PLAYGROUND!!!
---meanwhile---
Meryl: Hey, Mei-Ling, have you seen Rosie? I wanna play house!
Mei-Ling: Nope, but I did make this really cool calculator! Wanna see?
Meryl: No.
Mei-Ling: Fine, whatever, I'm gonna go to the swing-set!
(Mei-Ling runs off and Meryl continues her search for Rose)
Mei-Ling: ...Gee, it's awfully quiet...
(Mei-Ling approaches the swing-set, but suddenly notices some strange-looking mittens with shoe-laces attached to them)
Mei-Ling: What? Somebody left their mittens!! Maybe they're coming back...?
(An all-too-familiar-shadow looms behind Mei-Ling)
???: Right! Touch my swing and the mittens will blow-up!! AHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Mei-Ling: Hey!! You can't reserve a swing!! They belong to everyone!!!
Ocelot: --And what are you going to do about it, you little sissy?!
Mei-Ling: I...I'll.......WAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
(Mei-Ling throws her calculator at Ocelot and runs away to tell on him)
Ocelot: Hrmph! TATTLE-TALE!!
--------------
(Snake, still holding the Hind-D toy he snatched from Liquid, runs up to Campbell)
Snake: Mission accomplished! Here you go!
(hands Campbell the toy)
Campbell: Thanks! When Liquid stole it from me, he threatened to bury it in the sandbox!! I was really worried!!
Snake: Yeah, that's where he usually hangs out, along with that Ocelot kid!
---meanwhile---
Rose: Jack!! Me and Meryl are playing house! Come play with us!!
Jack: No!
Rose and Meryl: PLEEEEEASEEEE!!!
Jack: NOOOOOO!
Rose: All you ever think about is yourself!! I've always been alone thanks to you!!! GOOD-BYE!!!
Jack: ...Huh?
-------
(Snake is walking down the hallway, when suddenly he hears yelling. He runs around the corner to see a mysterious kid in a halloween ninja costume)
Snake: WHO ARE YOU?!
???: I'm like you, ...I have no name.
Snake: What?
???: Never mind! Let's fight!!
If I win, you fork-over your lunch-money!!
Snake: You're on, butt-head!!
( Snake and the mysterious nondescript engage in battle. Liquid walks around the corner and sees them fighting.)
Liquid: COOOOOOOOOL!!! A FIGHT!!!!!!!!!
A FIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(everybody hears Liquid and crowds around Snake and the ninja as they continue fighting.)
???: ONLY A WUSS TRUSTS HIS LIFE TO A WEAPON!!
( Suddenly, the ninja kid starts screaming and screeching and runs away)
???: M-MY MEDICATION!!!!!! MUST...TAKE!!!! EYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
(the Ninja then runs into the clinic. Everybody gets dissappointed and leaves Snake by himself.)
Snake: ...What just happened.....?
(suddenly a strange noise comes from a nearby locker)
Snake: Huh--? Who's there?
(Snake opens the locker and out falls a scrawny kid with glasses)
???: THANKS!! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!
Snake: Yuck, you went wee-wee!
???: ACK!! Don't tell anybody!! PLEASE!!
Snake: I won't. Who are you?
???: I'm Hal-- err....Otacon!! That's right!! Otacon!!
Snake: ...Otacon...?
Otacon: You know...Otaku Convention...
Snake: Umm...whatever....
So why was that ninja kid after you?
Otacon: I found out that Liquid and Ocelot are planning to build a fort in Naomi's back-yard and try to take-over the playground! If that happens, nobody will ever be safe in the playground ever again!!
Snake: Poop! We've gotta stop them!!
...but why Naomi's back-yard?
Otacon: I don't know, but I think that kid in that halloween ninja suit tried to stop me from spreading the word.
Snake: ...Well, what do you have in mind to stop them?
Otacon: I have a tree-house!! That can be our base!!
Snake: "Our" base? So I'm already a member, huh?
Otacon: We need a name.....
How bout Philanthropy?
Snake: Phila-what? Umm, okay, sure.
Otacon: We gotta rally members!! C'mon!
~WoalieMan~
Snake: Hey, what about this guy?
(Otacon & Snake walk up to Raiden)
Snake: Hi, kid. What's your name?
Raiden: Ugh....Raiden
Snake: Hmmmph. That's a weird name.
(Snake studies Raiden)
Otacon: Hi
(Otacon blushes)
Otacon: I like you
(Raiden looks confused)
Raiden: WHAT!?!?!
Otacon: You're pretty
Raiden: IM A BOY!!!!!!
(Raiden runs off crying, Otacon looks embarrassed and runs off crying too)
Snake: ...oooook....
(Snake finds Raiden)
Raiden: Go away!
Snake: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I want to know if you want to join me and my friends SECRET CLUB!!!!!!
(Raiden stops crying and stares at Snake)
Raiden: Secret, huh?
Snake: yeah, It's called....ugh.... Philanthropy....or...somethin'
Raiden: Ewwww! A secret club for Feeling Ants and Trophies! Yuck.....
Snake(angry):Ugh... No, it's called PHILANTROPHY . ONE WORD.
Raiden: Feeling Ant & Trophies and Then birds!?!?!
Snake: oh, you're such a poohead.
Raiden(upset): WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
(Snake slaps Raiden)
Snake: JUST JOIN. We want to stop Liquid and Ocelot from taking over the playgound.
Raiden: Join, huh? Alright.
Snake: YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!! Otacon! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER! YAaaaaaaAAAAayy!
(Snake, Raiden and Otacon stop. They hear a noise.)
Raiden: What was that?
Snake: I don't know.
Otacon(scared): I hope it's not that ninja again.. Eeeee.
(Otacon runs away and suddenly, from the shadows, out jumps a mysterious kid, wearing a coat and pants. He has a stick. He grabs Snake from behind in a headlock and puts the stick to his throat)
???: Hissssssss
Snake(to Raiden): What are you waiting for! Throw something at him!
Raiden: Hehehe He's NOT WEARING A TOP! AHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Snake: *sighs*
???: Hmmm, strange smell. You smell like.....AAAAAWWWWWWW JEEEZ YOU FARTED!!!!!!!! AHAHAHA heeeeeeeeee heeeee!!!! Peeeeooow!
(Raiden grabs a stick off of the ground and aims it at ???)
Raiden: Don't move or i'll throw it!
Snake: Finally!
???: Let's go.
(Raiden throws the stick at ??? and ??? dodges it inhumanly fast. He stops, laughs and pushes Snake onto the ground, cutting his arm.)
Snake: Owwwww! My arm! WWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHH!
???: haha *sticks out tongue and jumps away*
Raiden: Who or what was that thing!??!
Snake: His name's Vamp. He's from down the road, a wizard with sticks as you saw.
Raiden: Are you gunna be ok?
Snake(being brave): Yeah. Just give me a few minutes.
(Snake pulls a lollipop out of his pocket and sticks it in his mouth)
Snake: It soothes the pain.
Raiden: You're so brave.
Snake: Yeah, I know. Go, go find Otacon. The kid with the glasses and the white coat.
Raiden: Whit coat, huh? What if i need to contact you?
Snake: Here-
(Snake hands him a cup with some string on the end)
Raiden: Huh?
Snake: Talk into the cup. I'll be able to hear you with my cup.
(Snake holds up his cup, the two cups are joined by string)
Raiden: Ok. Bye bye.
(He turns and walks off. He realizes
something and then turns and runs to Snake)
Raiden: Wait a minute. I dont know your name!
Snake. My name is S.....My name is Pliskin. Iroquios Pliskin. Kindergarten Junior Grade.
Raiden: Kindergarten, huh? I'm goin' next year.
Snake: Cool. Now go.
(Raiden leaves Snake. Snake holds his sore arm and picks up a cup he wispers to Otacon about his false name)
------TO BE CONTINUED------
What did ya think?! You like/hate/despise?!