Title: I Could Give all to Time

Author: Sardius

Category: Angst/Romance

Warnings: PG-13

Pairing: Yohji/Aya

Disclaimer: Not mine! Not mine! Even though I want those pretty boys to myself. ties Yohji and Aya together* Hee.

Author's Note: YAY! Ff.net is working for me again! I can update this fic finally! Life is good for a little while. Sorry for the late update however! Once again tons of thanks to Lilla for beta-reading my works even though I know how busy you are! And for encouraging me so I continue to write WK fics.

Okay Lilla suggested I should do this so all thanks goes go to her. I tend to just think everyone understands what I am writing with all these symbolism I am using and may not realise that some people might find it confusing. So here's the explanation:

[ ] Internal dialogues

# # Aya's diary entires

// // character's thoughts

* * * * * * means change of POV

Chapter Three: A Devil's Promise

It was late by the time I got back to the Koneko. Everyone should have been fast asleep; no lights were seen in the bedrooms anywhere. I carefully made my way up the stairs, making sure not to step on the loose wooden board and made my way towards my room.

"Yohji."

I almost crashed into the door when I realised whose voice it was that had spoken behind me.

//Please Aya. I don't think I can talk to you tonight. Not after what just happened. //

I tried to make myself sound surprised to see him and asked, "Aya? What are you doing up so late?" But all I had wanted to do was flee into my room and shut out the world. I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back to my time.

[Its…. it's a nightmare. Everything. All of this…I…]

"I couldn't sleep and…. you weren't home yet so I was… worried." Aya had his gaze cast down onto the wooden floor. It was dark in the hallway and I could not make out the expression on his face, I had only been able to feel a deep sense of sadness when he had spoken to me moments ago.

It was strange speaking to Aya like this, knowing how much he cared about me when I hadn't known before. My thoughts drifted back to the journal he had written and realised that the situation I was in now was a repeat of what had been happening before.

# I couldn't sleep. Yohji hasn't come home after he left this afternoon. He didn't tell me where he was going and I didn't want to ask. It might lead to a lot of misunderstandings. It is stupid I know. I constantly watch over him without being seen wishing I had to courage to tell him how I feel. I don't want to be hurt again.

Someone is downstairs. I think Yohji is back. I want to go out and make sure he is okay. He's probably drunk and needs help up the stairs…but I don't want him to know I was staying up for him. #

# It was strange. I would have thought he would have gotten drunk, instead when I saw him in the hallway he didn't say anything, just went into his room and shut the door. I wonder if I have done something wrong? I could feel he was upset about something.

I wish he could talk to me about it. #

* * * * * * *

I remembered. I remembered that night I had gone out planning to get drunk but instead I had wandered around the park thinking about the feelings I had for Aya. And when I had seen him in the hallway I had panicked. I hadn't known he was still there waiting up for me. So I did the only thing I could do, I fled and shut the door in his face.

I hadn't realised it then. I had been so fucking stupid, I hadn't known I was hurting Aya so badly.

"Yohji….I…you should go to bed. It's late."

I blinked and slowly let my eyes come back into focus. Aya was still standing there, so vulnerable and alone. Before I knew what I was doing, I had the pale man in my arms again, holding him tight. I could feel his body flinching beside me but slowly he began to relax as I murmured against his ear, "I'm so sorry I hurt you before."

The redhead was about to ask me what I meant but instead I sealed his lips with mine, tasting his sweet mouth, urging his closed lips to open to mine. Hesitantly he did, and I plunged into that warm cavern, teasing, licking, sucking, running my fingers through the silky red strands of his hair.

After awhile I broke apart, leaving Aya panting slightly beside me. I buried my face in his crimson hair and whispered, "Don't say anything. Just let me hold you for a while longer."

I would have thought that Aya might have pushed me away but instead I felt the tightening of his hands behind me, holding me tight as if he was afraid I would let him go.

I won't Aya. Not again. I won't let you leave me again.

What a fool I had been to not realise how lonely Aya had been. How much he had needed someone's love, someone to care about him. Except I had been too absorbed in myself to realise that and now I didn't even know if I could change the future.

"I don't understand you Yohji." The redhead whispered beside me. He was shivering from the cold, and I wrapped my arms around his waist tighter, bringing our bodies closer together.

"You don't need to. I just want you to know I will never hurt you again."

The redhead flinched in my arms, at that statement, and pushed me away. I tried to ask what was wrong, only to be pierced by the glare of those angry violet eyes. Aya backed away from me until he was leaning against the door.

"Why are you doing this now, Yohji?" A sliver of pain surfaced in that cold expressionless voice, but before I could say anything else, he went inside and slammed the door in my face.

"Damn it." I swore. One minute I had the redhead in my arms, the next minute he was out of my reach. I stood there in the darkness looking at the spot where Aya had been just moments ago and cursed myself for letting him get away.

//Why are you running away Aya? I don't want to lose you again.//

* * * * * * *

I shivered as I leaned back against the door, my body slowly sliding down the wooden surface until I was huddling on the ground.

//Why is he acting so strangely now? Why is he telling me this of all things?//

I knew I had been an idiot to wait up for him, worrying about him since he had acted so strangely this morning. I had….he… he had never been so gentle with me before. And that scared me. I hadn't known what I should be feeling at that moment, it had just been too much to see the warmth of the passion in his eyes.

It had felt so nice to be in his arms. To feel needed. But I knew nothing like would last forever. Yohji was probably getting lonely and needed someone for a quick fuck.

[What am I to him anyway?]

//"You don't need to. I want you to know I will never hurt you again."//

[Why does he keep saying that? What does he possibly know about the pain I am feeling at the moment? Something is definitely going wrong with him. He's been like this ever since this morning, it's like he knows when things are going to happen. ]

[It's like he knows the future.]

I smiled as I drew my knees up closely to my chest, leaning on them as I hid my face under my arms. But… it had been nice. Even if there had been something wrong with Yohji…it had been nice to be held in his arms; even if it wasn't for real.

* * * * * *

"I'm in."

"NO!"

I hadn't realised I had suddenly burst out loud till I saw everyone was looking at me. Especially Aya. The redhead had agreed on the mission that was to be held tonight, but he didn't know what would happen to him if he were to go ahead.

# Well until tonight that is. Yohji has been occupying my thoughts every night since the time he spoke to me when I was sitting alone in the park. I was remembering that night during a mission when I accidentally killed a little girl, part of me felt like I had killed myself. That is supposing I am even living anymore. I feel so dead inside. #

I can't let Aya go on this mission tonight. He doesn't know what he is getting himself into. I have to stop him at all cost.

"Yohji-kun. Are you all right?"

Omi looked at me with concern in his eyes as he and Ken exchanged a look, before asking me again. I could only stare at them numbly, my mind going blank except for the image of Aya holding the bloody katana in his hands as he realised what he had just done.

//Please I don't want this to happen again.//

"I'm going."

I did not fail to hear the clipped words falling harshly from the redhead's lips. Aya was glaring at me as he leaned against the wall, hidden in the darkness, his eyes glinting dangerously, angered as he was by my sudden outburst.

Before I could utter another word, he stormed up the stairs and out of my sight.

[Damn you Aya. You are fucking not going on this mission.]

* * * * * * *

[What the hell was Kudou doing, thinking he could order me around like that?]

It had surprised everyone in the mission room when the blonde had suddenly screamed his eyes filled with pain and terror.

[I don't understand. What is happening to him? Ever since yesterday he has been acting strange and…. even last night when he suddenly hugged me…I…this is all wrong. There is possibly no way that Yohji cares about me. I don't know what he's doing but I am not falling under his spell.]

"Aya!"

I turned around to see Yohji rushing up towards me, his eyes already told me he wasn't giving up without a fight. I snarled and uttered a few curses before slamming the door in his face, only to have him blocking it with his boot.

"Aya you are not going on that mission."

"I do not need to listen to you. Now. Let. Go."

I tried slamming the door again but instead Yohji pushed me inside and banged the door behind me, locking it in place. The blonde looked so stressed out and irritated as he raised a shaky hand to rake through his tousled hair. "Kami-sama, what can I do to make you understand me? I just can't let you go on the mission tonight Aya. You'll regret this. Please. Listen to me for once."

I didn't realised how close how bodies were until I felt his heavy breathing on my face, his hands grabbing onto my shoulders tightly. Angrily, I pushed him away, wanting nothing but to be left alone.

"What are you trying to do to me Yohji?" I whispered. I tried to force myself to stop shivering as I wrapped my arms around myself. "You've being acting so strange since yesterday morning when you…" I couldn't make the words come out of my lips but the blonde seemed to understand as he titled my chin up until I was looking into his deep emerald eyes.

//I don't know who you are anymore. I feel as though you're a stranger to me.//

"Aya…how can I say this." There was a spark of pain in his eyes as he suddenly smiled and laughed. "You won't even believe me if I tell you this. I think I'm about to lose my mind."

I looked at him questioningly, hoping he'd fill me into the story. Yohji looked nervously at me for some reason. I had never seen him act so seriously before as he took out a cigarette and began lighting it. I was about to protest, telling him to get out if he was to smoke in my room but then suddenly he spoke.

"I know what's going to happen in the future because I have seen it. Just as I know what will happen to should you go on the mission tonight." The blonde took another puff from his cigarette as he continued. "You're going to do something you'll regret later and I don't want that to happen to you."

"What?" I blurted. "How do you know all of this?"

Yohji just smiled and shook his head. "I told you before, I have seen the future. I know what will happen tonight." Then he walked towards me until our faces were bare inches apart and I could feel his cigarette smoke on my skin.

"Because Ran, I don't exist in this time. I came back from the future."

"I came back to prevent your death."

* * * * * * *

I knew Aya would never believe what I had just told him as he stood there staring at me with his amethyst eyes. The shock hidden behind them, clearly told me there was no way the redhead would listen to anything I had said.

"Aya."

But he didn't say anything to me, Aya simply slowly backed away until he was leaning against the wall.

//No Aya. Don't do this to me. Don't block me out.//

I didn't know how I should react or what I should do as we stood there in the darkness. I felt like a fool for telling Aya everything that had happened to me. Why did I tell him all of this? Because I didn't want to see him get hurt? Because I knew tonight he would accidentally kill this little girl and that this action would bring him so much anguish and pain? This was ridiculous. As if he would believe me. Hell, if someone just told me I was about to die I'd probably call him a nut-case and tell him to butt out of my life.

[Real smart Kudou. Real smart.]

"Aya this isn't what you think. I haven't gone crazy. You…you have to believe me. I'm not lying to you."

What could I say to make Aya understand? I hadn't meant for this to happen. I hadn't wanted this to happen.

[ I just…. I just wished you were still alive. I just…]

"So I am going to die."

"Huh?"

"You've just said I was going to die didn't you?"

Aya's eyes were searching mine as I heard each word coming out from his lips.

"Yes. But…"

"Why did you come back then? Why not just let me die and leave me." Aya's eyes drifted away until he was staring down at the floor. Then his voice became so soft as he spoke the words that almost broke my heart, "What is the point in living anyway."

Aya looked up at me until I felt anger radiating from him again. "This is ridiculous Yohji. Did you think I would believe every word you've just said to me? What are you trying to accomplish? Haven't you already done enough?!"

Aya was practically shouting at me. I had never seen so much anger directed towards me before.

[What does he mean haven't I done enough? What the heck is Aya talking about?]

# Yohji never talks to me anymore. He always seems to be hiding every time we see each other. After last night when he came back home, he didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. I know this isn't supposed to effect me, but I wish I know the reason why he has been avoiding me lately. #

Fuck. I forgot all about how I acted towards Aya before. I…I just didn't want us to get too close to each other. I…I didn't think that it would be fair if I was still in love with Asuka and…

"Forget it Yohji. I'm going on this mission anyway, you are not stopping me."

Aya started to get his mission gear out of his closet as I grabbed onto his slim waist and spun him around until he was facing me. "Fuck you, you stubborn bastard. Why do you have to be so goddamn irritating?!"

The redhead started snarling under his breath, struggling to move away from my death-grip as I tried to think of a solution to make Aya believe me.

Suddenly it all clicked to me.

"Come out you idiot! I know you are here!"

Aya continued to struggle as I keep calling out to the hooded stranger. Only he could have Aya believing me.

[He's here. I know he is. Where the fuck is he?]

"Yohji! Have you gone crazy? What the hell are you doing?"

"It was him! It was him that brought me here. He said I could come back to prevent your death. That's why I did. He's here! Come out now! Stop hiding from me!"

I didn't know if I had just lost my mind just then. At the moment all I wanted to do was keep the redhead from harm. I never wanted him to experience that pain again. Aya kicked me in the ribs and I gasped, loosening my grip on him as he raised his katana threatening at me.

"Don't come any closer." He whispered through gritted teeth.

"No. Aya. Wait."

Before I could recover from the attack, the redhead had flung the door opened and had run out of the room. I winced and got up quickly, racing towards the door when I heard a voice behind me.

'What an amusing little scene we have here. I haven't laughed for such a long time.'

I froze when I suddenly recognised the voice. "You! Why didn't you help me! You said you would, you bastard!."

The hooded figure materialised in front of me, floating mist-like in space. A spark of amusement could clearly be in his voice.

"Oh did I? As I remember it you and I only agreed to let you come back and save your pretty orchid's life. How foolish was it of you to forget." "You bastard."

If only I had had my wire with me, I would have strangled the man myself.

'Now now. Play nice my prince. After all, I am the only hope you have to survive.' Suddenly the stranger raised his head towards me and I stood paralysed seeing the glowing eyes hidden beneath the disguise.

'There is no way for you to prevent the outcome of tonight my prince so just let it go.' I tried to move but every inch of my body was as heavy as lead. Then there was a mocking laughter followed by a very amused voice that spoke, "Beside, if I were you, I'd rather focus on your lover's death. That Time IS approaching."

Then suddenly he was gone and I lay there gasping for breath, feeling every part of my body tingling as if on fire.

[Fuck! This is insane! Now Aya probably thinks I'm out of my mind and there is no way I could possibly stop him from going on the mission tonight.]

A sense of dread and anger overcame me as I slammed my fist onto the floor, ignoring the pain thundering in my chest.

"Damn you Aya." I whispered.

Damn you for doing this to me.

* * * * * * *

TBC~~~~

Is it just me or am I writing longer chapters now? What happened to the good old 6 pages instead?? *scratch head* Anyway things are going well so far, already plan on cracking onto the next chapter but I'll probably post Lavender first b4 another update.

Next update: Lavender- Chapter 5

Please join my ML: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sardius_fics/

Once again will try to update this on ff.net but they are very very evil. Hopefully updates would be back to normal and also I don't want to pester Lilla too much with all my fics. ^___^

Sardius