Chapter Two--The Hand That Rocks the Cradle
Beru sat in her room, nursing a baby. Something I'd thought I'd never do, she thought to herself. It hadn't been an easy road, either. The drug had taken a few days to work, and in the interim, the baby had reached new heights of hungry rage. When she had finally tried to feed him, it had been a disaster. She had been awkward and uneasy; the baby angry and frustrated. After two exhausting day, they had finally managed it, mainly because they were both so tired that they had finally relaxed a bit.
Since then, they had fallen into a routine. She and the doctor had moved Luke's crib into her room. Since Amidala had studiously avoided her since their last conversation, and the doctor had been treating her Majesty for milk fever, Beru and the boy were basically on their own. Beru was rather surprised to note that she didn't much mind this. Once he started eating regularly, the baby also started sleeping, sometimes as many as four or five hours at a time. More sleep helped both Beru's morale and the baby's temper. His colic had eased. He was even gaining a little weight. Best of all, in Beru's opinion, was the cessation of his hellish Force tantrums.
Dr Sydos knocked at the open door. "So how are we doing?" he said with an ingratiating smile.
"We're doing fine," Beru said, with a sarcastic inflection which the doctor blithely ignored. He came over and took Luke gently from her arms. "Just want to take a look at this young man, I haven't examined him for nearly a week."
"How's Amidala?" Beru asked, politely. She wasn't especially interested.
"Doing a little better. She had the fever for several days. And a nasty infection. I had to put the little girl on the bottle for a bit. She took it, though. No problem."
"Good. If she hadn't, no doubt you'd have expected me to fill in. One is enough."
The doctor grinned at her, unabashed. "Well, if it had been necessary, I wouldn't have hesitated. He's doing really well. You're a natural."
Beru shook her head, her face reddening. "I'm a rank amateur. He was so hungry, he overlooked it." She rose to stand beside the doctor at the changing table as he carefully examined the baby.
"Weight's good--he's nearly caught up to his sister. Colic's almost gone. Is he sleeping well?"
"Not too bad," Beru said. "Sometimes he's restless, but usually he'll sleep after he's fed. Last night it was five and a half hours."
The doctor nodded, smiling. Then his face clouded. "It's a pity that he doesn't have her Majesty's colouring," he said, touching the baby's head. "It might have helped with--" He stopped.
It was true that the baby was no longer bald, but his soft aureole of hair was so fair--almost white--that you could hardly tell. His eyes had been dark blue at birth, but Beru had been alarmed to note that their colour had been lightening ever since. It was obvious that he had inherited more than Force talent from his father.
"Maybe his hair will darken as he gets older," Beru said hopefully.
Dr. Sydos shook his head. "I did genetic scans on both children when they were born," he said. "The little princess tested as stable, which means that her colouring won't change. His test indicated that as an adult, his eyes will be grey-blue, and his hair no darker than light brown."
"I have a suspicion that even if he looked exactly like her, Amidala wouldn't be that interested in him. Isn't the Naboo monarchy matrilineal, anyway? She's got her heiress, and Luke is so much spare baggage." Beru could not keep the bitterness out of her voice. Spare baggage that had been dumped on her.
"The inheritance does go through the female line, yes," the doctor said. "Male children belong to the royal family, but they can't inherit the throne, through their daughters can, if the female line fails."
"Is the little girl healthy? Amidala clings to her so much, I can't tell."
"Yes, she's fine. Though I do wish that her Majesty would--" Again he stopped.
"You wish that she wouldn't cling quite so hard."
"Too much attention is just as bad as too little," the doctor said soberly. "I'd like to discuss it with her, but she is in such a fragile state emotionally, I don't dare."
"Have you considered that she might be a danger to that little girl?"
Dr. Sydos gave her a hard look, but he didn't deny the possibility. Beru considered this omission ominous. Finally he said, "She seems to love the child very much. I don't think that she would hurt her. But I wish I was as sure that she wouldn't hurt herself."
Beru stared at him. "You think she's suicidal?" she said very quietly. The doctor looked toward the door. He had closed it. "Don't worry, she's in her room," Beru said, "I can tell."
"I really don't know--it's hard to say. She's very, very depressed. The fever didn't help, either. I've had some experience with port-partum conditions, and a failure to bond with the child, if there's only one, is quite common. And sometimes--" he hesitated, "--the mother will attempt to harm the child. Sometimes herself and the child. That's why I haven't tried to get her to separate from the little girl more. I'm not sure that she could handle it. Not now, anyway. The child seems to be the only thing that comforts her."
Beru said, "You're gambling with that baby's life."
He said, looking away, "I'm pretty sure that if she tries to hurt one of the children, it won't be the princess."
"That's the real reason you wanted me to breast feed him, isn't it?" Beru said, bitterly. "You weren't sure you could protect him. You wanted me to do it." She felt angry. Luke immediately picked up on her mood and began wailing. He had quickly become attuned to her emotions. Beru took him into her arms and forced herself to calm down. She definitely didn't want to trigger one of his Force tantrums.
"You're a Jedi, after all. I'm not. How could I protect him?"
How indeed, Beru thought. Amidala was Jedi, and Queen of this man's planet. He was used to deferring to her. If it comes to a showdown, I can't depend on him. He wants to help the child, but he won't defy Amidala to do it. In a head-to-head with her crazy Majesty, Beru was skeptical of her own chances. They were about equal in Force talent, and Beru had more experience. The baby was the weak link, though. He was so small that he could be hurt easily, and Amidala would not fight fair. Beru looked down at the little boy in her arms. He was completely dependant upon her. He stared back at her. Sometimes Beru had an uncomfortable feeling that he understood what was going on. That was impossible, of course. He was far too young. His bright, pale eyes searched her face. He *did* look like Anakin. It would doom him in his mother's eyes. Perhaps in other eyes, as well. Beru's mouth tightened.
"She can't be left alone with him. Ever." Dr. Sydos said. "You understand?"
"I understand," Beru said shortly, not looking up. Too well, I understand, she sighed to herself.
Several days later, Amidala appeared suddenly in Beru's room. Beru was startled. No knock at the door, no greeting; she just strolled in. She had not seen the young Queen since the day of their argument. The little girl was not with her.
Amidala walked forward and stared down at Luke, who was nursing. He stopped abruptly and looked up at her. Amidala's breath hissed through her teeth. Beru quickly wiped Luke's mouth and put him over her shoulder so Amidala could not see his face.
"What do you want?" she asked curtly, as she gently patted his back. She could feel his tension clearly. He was scared.
Amidala elegant eyebrows rose. "I wanted to see if you were really breast-feeding him," she said, drily. "Dr. Sydos said you were. Not that I mind. As long as I don't have to do it."
"Your maternal devotion is really touching."
"Enough!" Amidala said sharply, her eyes narrowing. "There's no law that says I have to love him. I don't. I can't."
Beru bit her tongue. She longed to tell Amidala off, but if the doctor was correct, her emotional state was fragile. No truth-telling allowed.
"So I'm breast-feeding him. Satisfied?"
Amidala rolled her lower lip through her teeth. "I suppose," she said, eyeing Beru speculatively. "When is Ben coming back? Do you know?"
Beru shook her head. "He hasn't contacted me," she said, rocking Luke in her arms. He buried his face in her shoulder. His mother was still studying him, as if he were an unpleasant mathematical problem she had to solve.
"I hate this place," Amidala said, turning to pace the room. "I want to leave."
"We're safe here. Ben has enough problems without worrying about your safety, or that of the twins."
Amidala clenched her fists at her sides. "We'll never be safe, never! *He'll* give us away." She lifted her chin in Luke's direction.
"He's a *baby,* Amidala."
"He's dangerous! Do you think I want to be the mother of another one like--like-" She couldn't finish.
"There's no reason to believe he'll turn out like Anakin."
Amidala shuddered. "It's my fault," she said.
"Of course it is," Beru said coolly, trying to cut off Amidala's rising hysteria.
Amidala gave a spluttered laugh. One of the unpredictable things about her, Beru thought, was that her often self-dramatizing ways were undercut by an undeniable sense of humour. Emotionally distraught or not, it was still there. Barely. Amidala came closer, until Beru had to pull her head back to meet her eyes.
"You don't like me much, do you, Beru?" she asked in a conversational tone.
Beru smiled uneasily. She wished Amidala would step back. "Not as much as that," she said cordially.
"Why?" Amidala seemed rather amused.
Beru looked down at the child in her arms. "Don't pretend it's about him," Amidala said. "It isn't, is it?"
Beru sighed. "You condescend to me, Amidala. You do it to everybody. It's as natural to you as breathing, but I don't have to enjoy it."
Amidala gave her a half-smile. "Alright," she said, as if Beru had not spoken, "If you don't want to admit it, fine."
Beru almost said, admit what? But she didn't. She couldn't meet Amidala's eyes.
"Let me hold him," Amidala said.
Beru longed to say no. She could sense that Amidala's request was merely meant to goad her. And it did, though she not imagine why. After all, she had tried, time and time again, to get Amidala to take some interest in the boy. So why do I want to tell her to take a long walk in a vaporizer? Slowly, reluctantly, she rose and shifted Luke around in her arms until he faced his mother. Then she put him into Amidala's arms. The young Queen held him awkwardly. Beru had become attuned to the baby's emotions and she could sense his fierce uneasiness. His mother's expression frightened her; Amidala's face reflected her ill-concealed revulsion. Without a word, she thrust Luke back into Beru's arms and fled the room, stumbling as she did so. It was the only sign of clumsiness Beru had ever seen in her. Luke began to cry loudly. He knows trouble when he sees it, Beru thought. For a moment, she felt tempted to joint him, but concentrated instead on soothing him to sleep. The expression on Amidala's face as she looked at her infant son made it impossible to *her* to sleep, though. She had a bad feeling about it. Here comes trouble.