Chapter 9-Bakanir
There was an old Gamorrean folk tale about two Gamorrean boars who fought over an available sow. They drew weapons at the same time and covered each other with them. Since Gamorreans were famous for their stupidity, as well as their violence, instead of backing off, they both shot each other in the head, thereby ending their dispute. This story had entered the galaxy lexicon as the 'Gamorrean Stand-off.' Beru feared that she and Owen had reached the same point. Neither had any practical means of getting rid of the other, save terminal violence. Owen could not take the baby anywhere without Beru. And Beru's chances of shaking Owen off seemed small.
Not, of course, that she wouldn't try it.
The next attempt included locking Owen in a deserted cabin on an interplanetary shuttle on the Middle Rim, and running for it, Luke tucked under her arm. She dodged the furious Owen for nearly ten days, but she knew he wasn't far behind her.
At the end of the ten days, she had ended up on Bakanir, a Middle Rim planet, just out of the zone. It was, oddly enough, a well-known place throughout the galaxy. When Beru was a child, there had been a series of exceedingly popular holoflicks, called "Famous Space Cadet." The Space Cadet in question had three sidekicks, one of them Bakaniri. He had exhibited stereotypical Bakaniri characteristics--they were notorious for their rigid codes of honor, their quarrelsomeness, and their gallantry.
Beru discovered this soon after she arrived. The local security agents apologized profusely for searching her, and their middle-aged Captain pressed help and advice on her. At first, Beru was wary, yet she could sense nothing but sincerity from him.
"Nice young lady like you, and with a young baby, you shouldn't be traveling alone," he admonished her.
"Um, thank you, Captain--"
"Captain Rijdan. Now, I'll recommend a hotel for you, nice family place, they'll look after you there. And one of my agents can escort you there. You shouldn't be out on the streets by yourself."
Beru thanked him, and he beamed at her. The young agent who escorted her treated her as though she was made of fine china, and the staff of the hotel to which he ushered her greeted her like long-lost family. The Bakaniri had reputations in the rest of the galaxy as looney eccentrics, Beru thought, but she felt that the rest of the galaxy could use some of this type of looniness.
The next morning, Beru looked around the capital, and was very pleased by its beauty and its attractive inhabitants. Why did people say that the Bakaniri were dangerous? So far she had experienced nothing but kindness from them.
But the young man who surged out of the crowd to grab her arm was not Bakaniri. It was the ever-persistent Owen Lars. Beru swore under her breath. Luke scowled.
"Remember me?" Owen rasped, holding her elbow tightly.
"Too well."
"Oh, good. Then maybe you also remember locking me in a stateroom on the Kandr shuttle?"
"Can't say that I do."
"Well, *I* remember it! Very well indeed."
"Congratulations," Beru said drily.
"Don't you know this planet's reputation? Even the Empire doesn't interfere with the Bakaniri. Stupid place to choose! Typical of you."
"I like it here," Beru said rebelliously.
"Too bad! We're leaving!" Owen said. "Where are you staying?"
Beru tried to convince Owen to stay on Bakanir, at least for a time, but he was angry with her, and in no mood to listen, and even less to compromise. He hustled her to her hotel and ordered her to pack. The hotel staff was horrified by his bad manners and rough speech toward a lady. Beru was inclined to agree with them.
Once they were ready, Owen hurried Beru and Luke to the Bakaniri capital's shuttle port. The first person they encountered, no big surprise, was the gallant security Captain Beru had met the day before.
Captain Rijdan bowed to Beru and smiled at her. "Nice to see you again, ma'am. Can I help you with anything?" he said, with his usual gallantry. He focused on Owen, his smile fading. "Who is this gentleman?" he asked.
Owen scowled at him. Idiot, Beru thought to herself. He can't be ingratiating to save his life or anyone else's. She remembered that Owen annoyed her. So she pretended to swallow a small sob, and buried her face in Luke's hair. "He's-he's the father of my baby."
That was their cover story, of course, but her obvious emotion made Owen stare.
Captain Rijdan said, perplexed, "He's your husband?"
"No," Beru said, covering her face with one of her hands, "He refused to marry me."
"That's a lie!" Owen shouted. "That kid isn't mine--!"
"Are you sayin', sir, that this lady is a liar?" the Captain said, in a chilly voice.
"Yes!" Owen snapped.
"Now, sir, why should she lie?"
Owen lost his temper. "Because she's a slut!" he hissed.
The Captain drew his hand back and deliberately slapped Owen across the face, hard. Owen, taken by surprise, lost his footing and stumbled. "You, sir, are no gentleman," the Captain said icily. "I intend to defend this lady's honor, which you have besmirched. Choose your weapons."
Owen gaped at him, still stunned from the blow. "What do you mean? I won't fight you."
"Yes, you will, sir."
"This is a joke! I'm not going to fight anybody."
"This is Bakanir, and you'll obey our laws. If you're challenged, especially in a matter of honor, you must fight. If you refuse, you'll be forced to defend yourself."
"You can't do that!" Owen said, stunned, still holding his aching cheek.
Captain Rijdan set his jaw, and then used his com-link to summon the local gendarmerie. Owen appeared unable to move. Beru could not believe how quickly her deception had gotten out of hand. She knew that she should intervene, but Owen's name-calling irked her so much that she decided not to. Let him stew in his own juice.
"Where are you taking him?" she asked the Captain, as Owen was dragged away. He still looked stunned.
"He'll be locked up until the duel tomorrow. I greatly regret, ma'am, that this altercation took place in front of you. Not a sight for a lady's eyes."
Usually Beru found Bakaniri gallantry refreshing; for the first time, she felt irritation instead. "It's all right," she muttered.
"And I regret, ma'am, that you've been so mistreated by this cad. It must be a great grief to you."
"Yes, yes---but Captain, what's going to happen tomorrow?"
"Well, tomorrow, I intend to kill him. The stain on your honor must be erased."
Beru's anger evaporated. "Kill him!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, indeed. Don't you fret, ma'am. I'll dispatch him quickly. Your family honour will be redeemed," he smiled at her in a happy way, sure that she was delighted with him.
Beru decided that she was not *that* much of a Gamorrean. "Captain Rijdan," she said, "you don't really want to kill him---even if he is a cad---do you?"
The Captain straightened his shoulders proudly. "It's the duty of every Bakaniri male to defend the honor and good name of defenseless females," he said. "I'm proud to assist you, ma'am. My family history and honor demands that I do so. My record is spotless, and I have every intention of keeping it that way."
"What, have you done this before?" Beru asked, shifting her weight uneasily.
"Yes, twenty-seven times. This will be twenty-eight, one of the best records on the planet. Though, I have to admit, my second cousin has twenty-nine. I'm hoping to catch up. If I reach thirty, they'll allow my name to be posted in the Hall of Honor." His eyes shone at the thought.
Beru felt dizzy. Licking her lips, she said, "Captain, could I see him? Please? I need to talk to him."
"Ma'am, he'll soil your ears with insults."
"My ears can stand it. Please," Beru forced herself to bat her eyelashes at him. He brightened. "Of course, if you want to."
It took nearly two hours before Beru, still carrying Luke, was ushered into the cell block where Owen sat in a tiny, but clean, cell. He had a nasty bruise on his face. His expression, though, outdid the bruise.
Beru asked the jailer for privacy, again batting her eyelashes. They were beginning to ache with the effort. He gave her a bemused smile and complied, much to her relief.
She turned to Owen, and scowled at him through the Force field. "Slut, am I?"
"You asked for that! How dare you tell that moron that I knocked you up?"
"Look, Owen, all I wanted was to shake you off."
"I'll bet."
"Oh, if only you knew how tempted I am to leave you to your own devices! Do you realize that dueling is a sport on this planet? The good Captain has twenty-seven notches on his belt, and he's looking to make you the twenty-eighth. Thirty and he becomes some king of local hero."
"I can take care of myself," Owen said, looking away.
"Sure you can. What weapons will you choose? Light sabers? That'll make the locals take notice! Not to mention the Imperials!"
"No, blasters'll do," Owen muttered.
"Owen, I just told you, this man is a professional. Besides, his intent is good. He thinks he is defending my poor little honor from your wicked ways. You can't try to kill him for that! We have to think of another way out."
"Like what? Tell him the truth?"
"No, stupid. He's the sort that would never believe that a poor little female like me would actually tell *lies.* No, honor makes this planet go round. He's eager to punctuate you, but maybe I can convince him otherwise. I want you to play along."
Owen rolled his eyes, but didn't argue further. Beru, with some difficulty, convinced the jailer to summon Captain Rijdan by com-link. The Captain bustled in, full of righteous anger.
"Well, ma'am, was I right? Did he insult you?" He glared at Owen.
"No, no, Captain," Beru said soothingly, "he's been a perfect gentleman. In fact, I want to ask you a favor."
"Anything, ma'am, anything."
"Well," Beru lowered her eyes shyly, "Captain, as much as I appreciate you defending my honor, I have to say that I wish you wouldn't. If you kill him, my poor little boy will be without a father." She gave Luke a Force nudge and he obligingly began to whimper, thus providing the proper ambience. "Owen has agreed to provide for the baby-haven't you, Owen? And a dead man can't pay child support," she smiled ingratiatingly at the Captain.
Owen nodded, looking grim.
Captain Rijdan looked briefly disappointed. Then he smiled and said, "Well, I sure am pleased that you want to do the right thing by your son, sir. But something's missing, don't you think?"
"What?" Owen said, suspiciously.
"You called this lady a despicable name. Apologize at once."
"Sorry," Owen muttered, not looking at Beru.
"No gracious apology, but an apology nonetheless," the Captain said coolly, "And you admit that you seduced her?"
Owen grimaced. Then he nodded stiffly. Beru could tell that it was killing him to do so. She couldn't suppress a grin.
"I can't hear you," the Captain snapped.
"Yes, I seduced her," Owen said in a strangled voice.
"And abandoned her, without marrying her."
"Yes."
"And you impregnated her."
Owen's mouth quivered. Beru thought he *would* deny that one. But finally, after what seemed like a very long pause, he said, "Yes."
"And you refused to acknowledge your own son."
"Yes."
"Good. I'm glad to hear you admit it like a man. Now what are we going to do about it?"
"I'll provide for the child."
"That won't cover her shame! Are you prepared to marry her? Give your son your name?"
Beru felt her mouth fall open. Owen noticed this.
"Yes," he said, shooting her an evil look.
"Excellent!" the Captain said, beaming. "Well, then, ma'am, we'll have ourselves a wedding instead of a duel."
"No---Captain---I have a large family on Nineveh," Beru stammered, "We'll be married there. I want them to be present. Just let him go and we'll arrange a wedding at home." She could tell that Owen Lars was enjoying her discomfort. Damn him anyway.
"Nonsense, ma'am! No need to advertise to all and sundry that the marriage was a little late!" he winked at her. "You must consider your good name. Besides," he said, glancing at Owen, "we've got him to the sticking-point, and we don't want him to change his mind, do we? I prefer to make sure that he fulfills every last one of his obligations---personally."
"But---but---" Beru could not believe it.
"I know that you're grateful, ma'am, but don't bother thanking me---I'm happy to do it. It shouldn't take any time at all to arrange the ceremony."
The Captain, unfortunately, was as good as his word. He bore Beru and Luke off to his residence, assuring her that his wife and daughters would be happy to help her with the wedding. He refused, however, to release Owen from jail. At least not yet. "Not until the ceremony," he said firmly.
Judging from the males of the species, Beru decided that Bakaniri women must be shy and delicate flowers of femininity. It was therefore a surprise to her to meet the Captain's female relatives. His wife and three adult daughters were all tall, strapping and attractive, and dressed in a florid style. While the Captain was present, they addressed him and each other in a cooing, demure way. But as soon as he left, their manner changed.
"Well, honey," Madame Rijdan said loudly, "Got yourself into a fix, didn't you? Happens to the best of us! Hope it was worth it!" She brayed with laughter and her daughters joined in.
"I-I-" Beru stammered. She had no idea why she was so embarrassed.
"Now, love, don't you worry! My husband just loves rescuing damsels in distress! I hear that he's persuaded your man to do the right thing. At the point of a blaster, maybe, but I'm sure you don't mind that, do you?" She led another chorus of loud laughter. Beru felt outnumbered and overwhelmed. She longed to escape.
Luke was staring wide-eyed at the women from the shelter of Beru's arms. Madame Rijden smiled at him.
"Now, isn't he a sweetie! Does he look like his father?"
"No," Beru said, though in fact, he did. He just didn't look like Owen.
"Well, men can be right clods, sometimes. Baby doesn't look like them and they get all hot and bothered about it! He looks like his mama, anyway. Let me hold him-!"
She scooped the baby into her arms. Beru expected Luke-who generally hated strangers-to protest, but he appeared to be mesmerized. Beru knew how he felt.
"Now we'll just put this little soldier down for a nap and then we can get to work."
"Work? At what?" Beru asked, distracted.
"Your dress, honey. And your hair. No offense meant, but if you want to keep your man, you'd better work harder at it than you have up to now. That outfit you've got on-! Just awful! And that haircut! No wonder the poor man ran for it, if you don't mind my saying so. Not to worry, though. You're a pretty girl under it all, I can see. We'll fix your hair--and we'll alter something for you to wear."
They descended upon Beru like a flock of feral, toothy birds, pecking and cawing.