Chapter 24

AUTHOR'S PRE-CHAPTER NOTE :

Ahemm…this chapter would be very nice if  "painted" with Tifa's theme as music background. I did it when I wrote this chapter. Guess you know what this chapter will be…^_^

HEART OF THE RUBY

The rain has stopped and everyone has gone for businesses. Outside Neo 7th Heaven, Cloud approaches the woman figure quietly in backyard, but the figure seems to notice him. "Hi, Cloud….", Tifa greets Cloud awkwardly, "come here…sit here…". She moves her body aside to give Cloud a space. Slowly, Cloud slumps himself on that space and sits quietly.

"They're finished yet ?", she asks out of blue. Cloud only nods his head. He thinks that Tifa means those guys who talked to him in his room.

"Tifa…", suddenly Cloud calls her with gentle tone. "Yea…", she replies in low voice, her face still gazes to the sky. "I'm sorry, Tifa…for abandoning you", Cloud continues. Now Tifa turns her face to him. Her face depicts an unreadable expression, so mysterious that Cloud cannot understand it.

"Never mind…", she then hangs her head down. Cloud can tell she has a sadness that is kept and locked inside her heart. Cloud moves his body closer to her, and with slow motion, he wraps her with his right arm.

"You're very nice to me all this time…but I couldn't treat you like you did to me…", Cloud lets out a sigh, "For that, I'm truly sorry Tifa, but I promise I'll keep on learning it". After saying his words, Cloud stares at Tifa, her head is still hanging down.

"Cloud…", she finally speaks up and lifts up her face, "you don't have to do that…". At once, Cloud is going to respond, but Tifa puts her finger on his lips, a sign to let her talking. "We set up promise when we're kids, on Nibelheim's well. You've fulfilled that Cloud, and I was really happy. I had strong feeling to you, but I…I didn't have courage to tell you from the start…until our first journey to save Planet…no…until she came to us…".

Cloud pays his attention to Tifa's words carefully, now they are going to touch sensitive matter when Tifa mentioned word 'she'. Cloud knows what 'she' refers to : Aeris.

"Aeris and I were best friend, we're even just like sisters…but at the same time, we knew that we had our own feeling to you. I…I didn't know what to do…I just let things go naturally. When she went to Sleeping Forest, she ever told me to take care of you. Soon afterwards, I started to realize that she was going to sacrifice herself, not only her soul, but also her love. She…she has unlocked my heart that kept my feeling to you…She encouraged myself to tell my heart to you, not with her words, but with her death. From that day on, I tried to tell my feeling to you, Cloud…".

Tifa takes a breath for a moment, and then continues, "Do you remember the night before we fought Sephiroth, we thought we're all alone, and we thought that was the last night we're together. Should we died on fighting Sephiroth, I wouldn't regret it because I've finally told you how I loved you…until now…".

Soft wind greets the couple, giving a familiar scent of wet soil. "Cloud, since we defeated Sephiroth, you looked so blank, so lifeless…I knew it, because you missed her, you…you loved Aeris…I felt I took wrong move, but I just wanted to take care about you, to love you…no matter how you felt to me…True love would rather gives than accepts, right ?".

Cloud remains silent, he cannot understand what he feels right now. He'd rather to let Tifa continue.

"But since that day, you slowly changed…you started to care about me, you said that you love me…and you proposed me. I was very happy Cloud…but then…she came again, and still with her feeling….". Cloud holds his breath, he knows they are getting deeper into this sensitive matter. He is totally wordless now. All he has now is guilty feeling.

Tifa gazes to the sky again, still in Cloud's arm. "If you didn't say you love me, if you didn't propose me…it'd be better, I could step out and let you and Aeris together, but the fact is…you proposed me, Cloud…You gave me hope, you gave me love…that's why I can't let you go, although sometimes seeing how Aeris suffered because she and you wouldn't be together made me think else….".

Tifa turns her face to Cloud slowly, her ruby eyes show deep sorrow. "But now…things went unpredictable…I…I never thought Aeris would leave. Just like you, Cloud, Aeris is my nicest friend, I won't let her go if I know it before…but I guess she has her own reason though…very personal reason, I can feel it, this is woman's instinct…".

"And what do you think her personal reason is ?", Cloud finally lets out his words although he feels his throat is rough. Tifa closes her eyes and rests her head on Cloud's shoulder.

"Because she still loves you, and she wants us to be together…", she replies with barely audible voice. "You know what Cloud, Aeris tries to fake her feeling by writing senseless farewell letter…Don't you think her letter is a bit…cold ?".

She opens her eyes and sees Cloud, but he does not seem to say anything. "I can feel it, and I can understand her…", Tifa continues. "If she let out her emotion on her farewell letter, she knew it would ruin us…so she wrote that way…but still, I can feel she really suffers….and you do either…".

Cloud's eyes go wide, he feels uneasy, yet he knows Tifa is right. Should she be wrong, he wouldn't go look for Aeris this morning. Tifa releases herself from Cloud's hug, now she turns her body to him, looking into his eyes directly.

"Cloud, my love…although Aeris wants us to be together, would I be happy if I only see you lifeless again, like those old days ?", she speaks with serious tone. "I know you love me Cloud…I can feel it, and I love you with all my heart. I believe you really want to make me happy and feels being loved…but Cloud…have you confessed to your own heart ?".

Cloud is stunned on his spot at once. Tifa's words really strike him like lightning. No matter he wants to argue, his tongue feels petrified.

"I know you, I know you very well, Cloud…You still love Aeris…you love her very much…that's what your own heart tells you. I know that you love me too…but I also know you still have hope for her. You may know it, but you denied it, you denied your own heart, Cloud….". Tifa swipes Cloud's hair lovingly, her face turns into concerned one. Meanwhile, Cloud is still quiet, unable to say anything.

"My love…", Tifa calls him, her sound is trembling, "if you really love me, then follow your heart…follow it and you'll find your world. Please, follow your heart, even it means I'm losing you…". Her hand is trembling, her body is choking lightly. She hangs her head down, but Cloud can see her tears are dropping from her eyes.

"Tifa….", Cloud finally speaks up with rough voice. They then hug each other tightly, no more words are spoken. They just hold each other warmly. Tifa's body holds her sudden outburst in Cloud's hug, she is very sad to take this decision because it means she will lose him and her dreams, but she knows this is the right thing to do.

"Tifa…I'm sorry….", Cloud whispers in her ear. Unable to hold his sudden feeling in his heart, Cloud lets out his tears, tears of regret. He feels very sorry to make Tifa downhearted. He knows this is too much for her. After building their dreams piece by piece with sweat, tears, and blood, the dreams soon will come true in several days, when they will be married. Now, it only takes a day to demolish those dreams into dust and ashes, leaving no remnant. Realizing how this hurts them both, Cloud hugs Tifa tighter. He wants to deny everything that has befallen on him, he really wants to have simple destiny, simple problems, yet the fact has told him opposite things.

There, Cloud and Tifa hug each other, pouring down their emotions. One feels deep loss, one feels deep regret. They know this is the last time for them to have such moment of togetherness, since tomorrow may lead to another moment.

"Cloud…my love, don't cry…please….", Tifa says in middle of her sob. She releases her hug and swipes Cloud's tears. "You must understand this because I love you, Cloud…yes…because I love you...Besides, time has written your path with her….". She realizes that she has slipped of tongue on her last sentence. If Cloud suddenly goes curious and asks about it, she must tell him about Vic, his future-to-be-son, with Aeris.

"How do you know ?", suddenly he asks. "Just my woman's instinct", Tifa blurts out, feeling relieved that she caught another answer instead of telling Cloud about Vic's identity.

Tifa manages to calm herself for several minutes. After she is not crying anymore, she pulls her engagement ring from her finger and hands it on Cloud's palm. Cloud looks at the ring with confused look.

"If Aeris doesn't believe you, please show this to her…she'll understand", Tifa forces herself to smile although her heart is torn badly. "Now, my love, go find Aeris before she's too far away…go on Cloud, stand up, pack your stuff and go…".

Cloud looks at Tifa hesitantly, but Tifa's eyes really ask him to go. Reluctantly, Cloud stands up, his eyes are still on Tifa. After he stands up, they once again look at each other. This is the first time for Cloud to see his ex-fiancee in such very sad expression, no matter how she tries to conceal it.

"I'm sorry Tifa…I hope you'll find a better man…", Cloud says to her for the last time. Tifa only nods her head. "Yeah…", she replies shortly. Cloud closes his eyes, turns his body and runs inside. He does not have a heart to let Tifa alone like this, but Tifa has told him to confess to his own heart and concluded he must find Aeris quickly. Again, that regretful feeling reigns his heart again.

Tifa can only see Cloud's back, leaving her. When he is finally disappeared into the bar, she gazes to the sky again. Closing her eyes, she feels another missing feeling inside her heart starts to emerge, until finally floods her heart. With trembling fingers, she touches her ring finger where there was an engagement ring once. No matter how she fights, tears are forming on her closed eyes again, now more intensely since she feels really alone, absolute loneliness in her heart.

You're wrong, Cloud…I won't find another man….because I'm still waiting for you….someday….Until you understand…..

…………….

Now where must I find her ? C'mon, Cloud…think…think…Forgotten Capital ? Don't think so…It's messy now…Aeris doesn't like messy things naturally….Now where to ?

Cloud cannot think clearly on top of chocobo's back. He tries to figure out where Aeris went, until finally his brain snaps out an idea.

Yeah…that place….it might be her place as well…Hope I'm right…that place is far from here, but it's worth trying….

"Go, chocobo, go !!!", Cloud yells to his gold chocobo and the bird starts to run, bringing Cloud on top to a place he thinks she will be there.

…………..

Aeris stands in front of the furnace inside her house in Icicle Inn to warm herself. She just arrived about an hour ago in her house, Icicle Inn. Sprinkling of burned woods accompany her in this peaceful house. The dusk outside is getting darker, the night is about to come.

At a glance, she recalls her past memory when she used to sell flowers in Midgar, she often warmed herself on street furnace (Author : umm…it's the opening scene of FF7 !). The difference is, she is totally alone now, no one will have interest to go to such place where coldness covers all around the place.

After she does some arrangement on her house, she rests on a couch while drinking hot tea to warm herself from colder air. Aeris lets her mind flies around, rewinding her past days, until now. Eventually, she hears a faint knock on main door. She stands up quickly, yet surprised. She just arrived here short hours ago, and no one is around her house, she can tell it. To anticipate bad things, she grabs her Princess Guard and walks carefully to the door. The knock is now getting louder as if the person outside cannot stand the heavy cold wind.

Slowly, she opens the door while covering herself. She is startled to see a person is standing in front of her house, his body is covered with snow. Since the night is getting darker and this person has snow over the body, Aeris cannot recognize the person, definitely male.

"Aeris…it's…me….", the man calls her with weak voice. Aeris feels petrified on her spot all of a sudden. That voice, although it is very weak, that figure, although he is covered with snow, Aeris can recognize him, and she is very sure.

"CLOUD !!!", she cries out in surprise. The person wipes some of the snow that covers his head and face, and it reveals a familiar spiky-hair and Mako-blue eyes. Without waiting longer, Aeris pulls his hand to go inside.

……

"I came here to find you….", Cloud speaks up while absorbing hot tea. After the drink reaches his stomach, he feels better, yet he feels much better that he finally finds her, here and now. Aeris turns her face to other corner. "What for ?", she asks.

Cloud puts his cup of tea on table and stands up to approach her. "Because I want to meet you", he replies when he is in front of Aeris. His tone is so gentle, so caring.

Aeris lets out a sigh from her mouth. How she often dreamed about this moment in the past, and now, although that dream comes true, she just cannot accept it. She feels there is something wrong.

"What about Tifa ?", she asks back. Cloud takes a breath and then kneels in front of Aeris. "We've talked a lot…and she told me to be honest to my heart…that's why I'm here…". Cloud picks up something from his pocket and gives it to Aeris. "Here, Tifa told me to give this to you".

Aeris accepts an engagement ring on her palm. She studies it for a moment, disbelief is depicted on her visage. "Cloud…I…I…", she stutters, but Cloud already cuts her off, "Aeris Gainsborough, I…". He cannot continue his words. Aeris looks at him with questioning look. Cloud gulps, then sighs. He knows this is the chance, the perfect and right chance. There will be no other chance like this.

"I love you…".

Cloud desperately lets his words out from his mouth. When he finally made it, he feels a heavy burden is lifted from his heart. He never said those magical three words to Aeris before, but as he feels his heart lighter now, he suddenly realizes that he really loves her, through those good and bad times. Tifa was right, he loves Aeris, but he denied it. Now, as he accepts the truth of his heart, he feels relieved because he finally told Aeris his feeling, while at the same time he still feels a great regret to Tifa. Love is such a strange thing, and sometimes, illogical.

Aeris' mouth is opened to hear Cloud's confession. Her eyes go wide, her expression shows more disbelief. For a second, they do not act or say anything. This is happened too fast for her. With his eyes, Cloud asks for her response, but Aeris seems still stunned.

"Will you….marry…me…?", with trembling voice, Cloud gathers his courage to propose her. This sudden proposal makes Aeris' eyes go wider than before. Silence rings again, now longer. At a moment like this, Cloud feels he is like walking on a thin string. He has opened his heart to reveal the truth, that he loves Aeris, and now, he cannot hide his hope to be together with her all times.

After several seconds pass, Cloud can see Aeris' lips are moving, she is going to say something. Cloud's heart paces faster, he really puts his hope on her. He knows everything is moving too fast, yet he cannot let this moment go. Aeris closes her eyes, her lips stop moving. Cloud feels downhearted to see her, but his hope is ignited again to see her eyes are opened again. Her lips are moving again, now forming audible words, the answer for Cloud.

"NO", Aeris finally replies shortly.

AUTHOR'S POST-CHAPTER NOTE :

*Inhales a deep breath* Well…finally I half-settled the love triangle. Yipppiiii….my "meditation" resulted in this chapter ! Actually I had no idea what should I write in this chapter, but here it is, (hopefully) the long-awaited chapter about how to settle this love triangle (although it's not totally settled…yet). Will Cloud back to Tifa ? Or keep on waiting for Aeris ? I still hope that you'll submit review, especially on this chap ! Okie dokie….here I go…and I'll be back on next (hopefully again) last chapter ! Tata for nowww…..