Chapter 25
LAY YOUR HEART ON ME
The sun is moving up from its resting place, emitting its light and warmth to all over the place, but not hot enough to melt eternal snow of Icicle Inn. Cold wind is still roaming around Aeris' house, making the sitting person in front of it rub his body over and over again to keep it warm. His thick cloak does not seem to be able to keep heat of his body, yet he is still sitting on his spot. That person is no other than Cloud Strife.
Suddenly, the door house is opened and Aeris comes from inside, bringing tray of hot meals. She walks closer to Cloud and puts the tray in front of him. Cloud lifts up his face and sees her, but they say nothing to each other.
"Please eat these…", finally Aeris breaks the silence with awkward tone. She kneels and caresses Cloud's cheek, comforting it for a moment. Cloud's hand slowly grabs hers. "Will you marry me ?", again he asks the question with rough voice. Silence comes until Aeris releases her hand and shakes her head. "The answer is still no, Cloud…please….go back to Tifa….", she replies with quivering voice. Receiving another disappointment, Cloud can only sigh as Aeris stands up and goes back to the house.
"Aeris…", Cloud calls her. Aeris stops, but she does not turn her face to him. Cloud pipes up weakly, "I'll be waiting for you….". Aeris shakes her head again, concerned. Saying nothing, she just continues her steps, going inside house.
……
Cloud….I'm sorry…I can't take your proposal…it's just…it's just not fair. Tifa deserves you than I do…Aeris sadly looks outside house from the window. Her eyes stick on Cloud's sitting figure. She recalls last night event when she refused Cloud's proposal. She could not forget his downhearted face when he said he would be waiting for her and stepped outside. Aeris thought Cloud went back to Midgar, but she was very shocked this morning when her thought was proven wrong. Cloud has been sitting in front of her house, alone in the darkness and coldness. No matter how she insisted him to leave or enter her house, he just kept his stubborn head.
'I'm waiting here because I don't want to lose you again'….Aeris repeats Cloud's words when she asked him to go. Cloud…you're very stubborn…what should I do now ?
All the day, Aeris watches over Cloud from inside, she just does not have a heart to let Cloud alone in this rough place. When the day reaches noon, she goes out from her house to bring some meals for him. Again, Cloud proposes her, but Aeris stays on her decision. Those events happen again when she brings dinner for him, yet her answer is still the same.
"No, Cloud…I can't accept your proposal…don't you understand… ?", Aeris desperately speaks up. At a moment, chill wind blows, making Aeris' body shook. Cloud tightens his cloak and murmurs, "Then I'll stay here….". His voice is so weak, swallowed by the wind. Suddenly Aeris stands up and turns her body, walking back to her house.
"If you ever need to go inside, just do it…but my answer is still 'no'…", says Aeris. Do you know that my heart being torn to see you like this, Cloud ? You're no funny…this weather isn't friendly at all…
She glances a second to him, hoping he will stand up and follow her inside, but she only sees Cloud sits again with crossed legs. Letting out her soundless sigh, she enters the house.
That night, Aeris cannot sleep well. She often awakes to see Cloud, feeling afraid if something bad happens to him. Although she refused him, she does not want to lose him to something God-only-knows that may exists outside, that is absolutely different thing. Aeris watches over him from the window, no matter how her eyelids are reluctant to stay opened. Eventually, she cannot hold her drowsiness anymore. Although her mind tells her to stay awake, her body does not follow it. She finally falls asleep on the couch, swallowed by coziness of her couch and warmth of her house.
That's why I'm here….
Huh ? Cloud ? Is that you ?
Because I'm finally honest to my heart….
I don't understand it, Cloud….
… honest to my heart….
…honest…
…to my heart….
What're you talking about, Cloud ?! You're supposed to be with Tifa…not me…..
…be honest to my heart….
Cloud…..
Cetra…look for your heart….
Planet !!???
Trust your heart…and you'll find your destiny there…
But Planet…
Cetra…talk to your pure heart….
Hi, Aeris, cutie flower girl….Suddenly a familiar female figure pops up. Aeris just knows who she is, a beautiful young woman with long honey brown hair, tied in braid style. Her pink long dress, accompanied by short red jacket will just tell who the person is. The popping up figure is herself.
Huh ? Wh…who are you… ?
Me…? The figure giggles, her laugh sounds so soft. I am YOU. Don't you know that ? She glances meaningfully, as her giggling slows down. I'm really you…c'mon, don't be drooling like that…
How…how…come… ?
Second Aeris smiles and her smile grows wider. I'm your heart…a pure one…the one you can't pretend….do you understand, Aeris ?
Understand what ? I…I don't get your point
That you love him…you want to be with him…Second Aeris gives serious expression.
I don't deny that…you know me…I really love Cloud…
Then go for him ! Meet him outside ! Second Aeris now says with higher tone, her eyes are sparkling.
*sigh* I…I can't do that….
Then you tried to lie to me, your own heart ? Second Aeris' face grows sad.
What kind of person I am if I just accept him after Tifa let him go because of me !!!????
And what kind of person you are if you screw up Tifa's big sacrifice to let you two happy !!!?? Second Aeris shouts back in higher pitch. Silence comes shortly afterwards.
I…screw up Tifa…??
Yeah…Second Aeris responds, now with softer tone. You know it must be very difficult for Tifa to let Cloud go, but she did it…for your sake…she…she wants you to be happy. She sacrificed her heart for your happiness…You ought to not let her disappointed, Aeris. If you just tell Cloud to go back to Tifa, it means you'd ignore Tifa's feeling…She has made her decision, you must respect what she has done, respect her feeling to you…respect her wish to make her best friend happy, that is you…You don't have to feel guilty, beside…you still love Cloud, right ? Do you understand now, Aeris ? Second Aeris' eyes sparkle with caring look.
Silence
I'm sure you'll understand me…understand yourself, your heart….
Sunlight beam goes through Aeris' face, sending signal of the next day to her. Slowly, she rubs her eyes and yawns a little. Aeris becomes very surprised when she finds herself on the couch. Recalling quickly why she is here, Aeris then looks outside through the window with uneasy feeling. As her eyes still catch sitting figure outside her house, she becomes reassured, yet worried to see him outside her house for two days.
Aeris stands up from her couch and goes to kitchen, preparing another hot meals for her and Cloud who is still waiting outside. This morning seems colder than yesterday, she cannot let her thought flies away from Cloud while she is cooking. After she finishes, she puts those meals on tray and hurries outside.
"Still waiting here, huh ?", she greets Cloud but actually she does not know how she must act. Cloud greets her back with smile on his pale face. Aeris puts the tray in front of him, but instead of going back to house, she now kneels down, facing Cloud face to face. Cloud is startled to see her in such action. He puts down again the bowl he just picked up. His eyebrows form an arch.
"Never mind…", she precedes Cloud, shaking her head lightly. Slowly, she caresses Cloud's cheek and very shocked to feel his skin is as cold as ice.
"I'm all right…", Cloud lets out his voice, "but I'm still waiting…". Aeris does not reply at all but to look at him in hesitation.
"Do you really love me…?", Aeris asks out of blue. Cloud only lets out a faint sigh. Desperately, he lets out his answer, "More than you ever know….". Aeris hangs her head down upon receiving his answer, letting a moment of silence between them two, meanwhile Cloud only looks at her with concerned expression.
"Cloud…", she finally speaks up, "do you ever know why I'm back from Lifestream ?". Cloud removes his hood cap from his head. "Well…to stop Sephiroth once again…", says Cloud, unsure. Slowly, Aeris lifts up her face and responds, "It's just something I've got to do…do you really know what I REALLY want to do ?". She makes a sudden loud voice when she said 'really', "I think I must tell you now, Cloud…I took my chance to be brought back to life because….I want to meet you….".
Those words again….Cloud says inside his mind bitterly. All this time, Aeris always says those words : I want to meet you, but she never reveal the true meaning of them. "No, you don't understand, Cloud..", Aeris cuts him off, as she knows what Cloud thinks.
"If you told me that you love me more than I ever know, then you must know this too, Cloud, that I love you, more than life itself. I kindda had hope when I was brought back to life, but to see you're engaged with Tifa….I felt that was unfair. I was dragged back to life, fighting Sephiroth again, finishing Dark Ancient, and to see myself…suffer…". Aeris now sits on the snow, she stares deeply into Cloud's eyes.
"Because I was with Tifa ?", Cloud tries to inquiry her, replied by Aeris' nod. "Yet I got my consciousness", she pipes up, "…that I must not selfish. I love you, but love itself does not mean to own someone you love. Love gives, rather than accepts, right, Cloud ?".
Love gives, rather than accepts…Those words are tingling inside Cloud's mind, he feels dejavu. He recalls when Tifa said the same words.
"That's why I finally took decision to leave you, to let you with Tifa, I want to see you all live in happiness", Aeris continues. "But now…you're here to find me, to tell me that you love me. You came when I give up my hope, when I least expect you….". Aeris removes some snow that fall on her long hair.
"Even though my heart still prays you'll be here someday….", she whispers as she hangs her head down again, so low that she hopes Cloud cannot hear her. Just like a lightning strikes her mind, she suddenly realizes that her last sentence was not on her plan. It just came out from her mouth naturally. It was on her tongue tip that it was suddenly spoken. Yet she knows, that was from her true heart.
Chill wind blows Aeris and Cloud, and Aeris soon imagines how hard for Cloud to stand such harsh weather for two days. With trembling voice, she says, "Cloud…if you really love me, you've got to keep me…Never ever leave me alone…I don't wanna be alone again…I don't wanna lose you again for whatever reason. Once I dreamed to be with you and it faded away, now that dream rises again and you convinced me to turn that dream into reality. I've been too long living alone, now I got chance to change it, but I'm still afraid….".
Aeris pauses for a moment, closing her eyelids in slow motion. "If you want to be with me, you must be aware there'll be lot of harsh things in the future, Cloud, but I'm willing to take this chance, to stand against all odds…Lay your heart on me, that's what you've got to take. Take this chance, and I'll be with you forever, or if you think you don't suit for those troubles, then stand up, leave me alone, and never come back to me….".
Aeris finishes her words with a long inhale, still closing her eyes solemnly. Chill wind again plays her hair strands, making her figure looks more innocent in this weather. With deep voice, Cloud speaks up, "Aeris….". Still no response from her. "Aeris Gainsborough…", Cloud calls her again, "will you be the one that will take Cloud Strife as your lifetime companion…".
Aeris' eyes are suddenly opened wide and shock fills them. "Through sickness and sorrow….", Cloud continues, making Aeris' expression turn into more shocked expression. "To love and to cherish, until death do us apart, as your wedded husband ?", Cloud finally finishes his proposal.
All of a sudden, winds do not blow around them, completely swallowed in silence. Cloud still looks at Aeris' shocked expression with uneasy feeling. This time, he really puts his hope on this bet. Last time he did this, he only got answer 'no' from her. He does not know whether he would stand another 'no' word again. He only knows he will not retreat as he has given everything to his heart.
Aeris closes her eyes again, inhales a breath, and her lips move. Cloud feels his spine is getting colder than before.
"I DO"
Aeris' answer was short, but clear enough for Cloud to hear it. Cloud's mind goes blank for a while, cannot believe what he just heard. HisIt is because Aeris' lips that form an upward curve that grabs him back to reality. Cloud's lips are trembling as he asks her, "Y…You do…?".
Aeris feels her eyes are warm, and soon something is watering them. Her tears. This time this is tear of joyful, tear of happiness she always dreams about. She knows she will be no longer alone, she will have someone who will share happiness and sorrow, someone she loves and someone who loves her. Suddenly she really realizes an answer from her pure heart. This is it. Feeling of joyful floods her heart and warms her, removing the coldness she feels on her skin and emptiness from her heart.
"Of course I do….spiky-head…", Aeris finally answers back, opening her eyes and smiling at Cloud. She sweeps Cloud's hair lovingly and leans forward to his hug. From Cloud's side, he also feels very relieved. Finally, finally he proposed her, and she accepted it. He has confessed to his heart and this is the answer. Cloud just accepts Aeris and hugs her tightly. Sudden out joy fills his heart wildly, as well as warmth that wraps it. He just hugs Aeris warmly as she hugs him tighter.
Finally…I DID it !! Cloud says into his mind, Thank you, Tifa…thanks for everything…I find true happiness now….I can take rest now…I'm so tired….very….tired…my body…can't stand….I'm very…tired….need rest….
Cloud's head feels dizzy, he cannot hold his body anymore. Soon, he only sees darkness.
……………
Unhh….where…am…I….? I remember last time I was out there…in the snow…now…where is it ?
Cloud opens his eyelids slowly, yet with struggle. The first thing he sees is house ceiling, and Aeris' face. Her face looks relieved and cries out a little in cheerful tone. "CLOUD !!! Finally…you're awake !!!".
Cloud touches his head, he still feel a bit dizzy, but he feels much better now. He tries to stand up, but Aeris quickly holds his body. "No no no…you're not strong enough…not yet…", she shakes her head. Aeris then covers Cloud's body with warm blanket. Cloud only looks at her, confused.
"You fainted …guess you're too tired…or is it because you can't stand to be a new husband, huh ?", Aeris tries to crack a joke, while sweeping Cloud's hair lovingly. Now Cloud understands. "You…brought me inside…?", Cloud asks. Aeris only giggles for a while, and replies, "No…actually I summoned Master Tonberry…".
"Oh…well…", Cloud cannot say anything but imagining how that little monster dragged him. Aeris picks up some meals on bed table and moves closer to bed. "Here, you'll need these…", she gives Cloud a spoonful of hot porridge. Cloud knows his stomach will be going mad if he refuses the meal.
After having his meals, Cloud tries to sleep again, but now Aeris also moves on the bed, laying next to him. Cloud lifts his eyebrow to see her. "Aeris…wh…what are you doing…?", Cloud blushes. Aeris glances at him meaningfully. "I'm your wife now…why can't I sleep with you ? I'm tired because of taking care of you these two days !", she speaks with upset tone, but actually she is making fun of it. Short time afterwards, she laughs softly, "You know…I rarely see you blushing, Honey…".
Cloud's face goes warmer, he shakes his head and turns to Aeris who is already laying next to him, looking at him lovingly. "Well…you'll often see me blushing after this…", he responds, and covers her with his blanket. Aeris moves closer to his chest and rests her head there.
"It's cold outside…and I can't stand this weather…will you help me making me warm ?", she whispers. "How…?", Cloud asks back. Aeris lifts her head and whispers into Cloud's ear, "Come closer to me….and you'll know….".
………..
There, at Icicle Inn, inside Aeris' house, Cloud and Aeris are celebrating their wedding. None of them hopes this is just another fake dream. They both hope their love will last through the time, as they finally listen to their own hearts. Aeris and Cloud also understand, that they owe an unpaid debt to Tifa. It was Tifa's sacrifice that finally let them confessed to their hearts that they truly love each other, and united them in happiness. They know it was very hard for Tifa to let her love go, but she still did it, for sake of their happiness. People may know that Aeris was the best heroine on the Planet since she sacrificed her life for others' lives, but from Aeris' side, the best, true, and pure heroine for her is no other than her best friend, Tifa Lockheart. Undoubtable.
AUTHOR'S POST-CHAPTER NOTE :
Well well well…, it's finally settled !!!! So, this fanfic is ACTUALLY CloRis !! No doubt about that !! Sorry, it took so long for you, readers, to find out what kind of fanfic this is ^_^. But…will Aeris and Cloud be together through the time ? * evil grins * Nah, I'm CloRis fan, actually, am I insane enough to separate the spiky-head and that cutie flower girl ? ^_^. Personally, I'm so happy that I finally finish this chapter, but this chapter is not intended to be final chapter, there'll be epilogue for last chapter, in which I will upload it soon. Don't miss the epilogue, because it'll lead to another thing !! Just a hint : don't forget about Tifa……