Chapter 5
"One thousand one hundred and eighty four, one thousand one hundred and eighty five, one thousand one hundred and …Oh bloody hell!"
"Spike what are you doing?"
It was Buffy. The other Buffy, the one only he knew wasn't real. She had snuck up on him, the bloody bitch. He wanted to kill the stupid bint, but he had to pretend he didn't know he reminded himself, bide his time.
"I'm counting", he said simply.
"Counting what?"
"Just counting, it helps… clears the head… don't have to think."
"Oh", Buffy said feeling the guilt wash over her that always came when she was reminded of the pain that Spike was in.
"Spike, this is crazy."
"You noticed huh?" He then began laughing, maniacally. He actually felt more sane, not that the guilt wasn't still bothering him, but he felt it safer if 'it' thought he was still a raving lunatic.
"Spike, stop it. I need you to focus for a minute."
"Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the…"
"Spike, dammit!" Buffy was starting to lose her patience. She hadn't meant to, but fatigue and worry were starting to wear her down.
"Don't hafta shout. I can hear ya know. We all can. The rats, they've been talking…. bloody little bastards. All they do is squeak about, nothing nice to say."
Buffy took a deep breath, willing herself to keep calm.
She stooped down to where he was sitting, his back against the wall. She reached out her hand to touch his arm but he shrunk away as if he'd been burned. She couldn't help feeling hurt by it.
"Hands to yourself, Slayer. I won't be pawed at."
That was it, he couldn't be reasoned with. She was going to have to take a more direct approach. She stood up, looking down on him with a menacing glare.
"You are getting out of this basement today. I don't care what you say and I *really* don't care what the stupid rats have to say about it. I have to go upstairs and work now, but tonight you better be ready because you are getting the hell out of here. *Do* *you* *understand*?"
Spike just stared at her with a mutinous glare and started counting again.
"one, two, three, four, five…"
"Fine Spike, you don't have to acknowledge me, but you're still leaving this place. Don't even think about running and hiding because I'll be back….every single day until I can get you out of here, so deal with it." She paused, continuing a little more gently. "If you don't get out of here you will end up dead… or worse."
"twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…"
Dammit, he was still babbling. It didn't matter though, because come sundown he was leaving if she had to hog tie him and drag him out by his hair. Buffy then whirled around and left Spike to his counting.
********
"It wants me to leave here luv… it wants me to leave you."
"Shh baby, it's okay. Of course it wants you to leave. It knows you're smart. It's afraid that you'll figure it out if you stay here. But you've already figured it out haven't you? It doesn't know it's already too late. So leave here with it if it's so determined. We don't want to make it suspicious. You can come back to me every night…I'll be here."
Spike was lying on the floor his head in Buffy's lap, she was gently stroking his hair. He had missed her so much. She had explained that she couldn't come to him for more than short periods at a time. It took a lot of energy for her to appear before him and she needed to save her energy for what was to come. But still, he wished she could be with him always. When she was there, he wasn't haunted by the faces of all those he had hurt… the lives he had ended.
"But pet, I don't know. I…the voices… Just being here, knowing you're close by. I … I don't know if I can hold it together out there."
"Spike, your strong, a warrior, you must remember that. You've faced much harder things than this. You fought to win your soul back… for me. No one has ever done anything like that before. So you *can* do this. You have to. Everything depends on it…. *we* depend on it. Just remember that we'll be together soon."
Spike couldn't fail her, she was counting on him. Not this time…this time he'd save her even if it meant his own death.
"Don't worry luv, I'll manage. I'll get you out of this damn place if I have to fight all the legions of hell to do it."
"I know you will baby, I know you will."
*********
Buffy had butterflies in her stomach. The sun had almost gone down and it was time for her to go and get Spike away from the hell mouth. She rifled through her weapons trunk until she found what she was looking for, a pair of manacles, left over from the days when Willow had dated Oz. She didn't want to have to use them but she was determined to finish this tonight. She had no idea how it was going to go. Sometimes he acted pretty sane, reasonable even, but most of the time he acted like an escaped mental patient and she wasn't taking any chances. She was going to do right by him. She would get him out of that damn basement and hopefully his mind would start to heal, then maybe they could be friends again. She missed his friendship, the one they had before she started using him to feel. She didn't want to think any further ahead than that though, she couldn't afford to. She slammed the lid on her trunk and started out the door. She was going to get him and the rest was in fate's hands.
**********
"Slayer."
Spike was sitting on his stolen chair, his legs sprawled out in front of him. He seemed to have a little more focus and a hint of his old cocky attitude.
"See you're still into the bondage."
Buffy looked down at the manacles she was carrying and frowned.
"I'm just making sure you don't pull any stupid crap. Are you going to leave with me willingly?"
"Of course Slayer. I'm just an evil vampire, who am I to argue with your great shiny chosenness?"
Buffy was glad he wasn't acting crazy at the moment but he sure was being a pain in the ass. She resolved herself to ignore his smart ass comments.
"Good. Did you have anything you wanted to bring with you?"
Spike looked around his bare room and chuckled.
"Don't know Slayer. D'ya think I could bring me a couple a rats? Maybe for a midnight snack?"
"I think it's time you and the rats parted ways Spike. So say goodbye and lets get the hell out of here."
"Yes m'lady, I am but your humble servant."
"Perfect, just what I need."
Buffy started toward the door motioning for him to follow.
*********
They walked in silence through the streets of Sunnydale. Buffy wasn't quite sure what to say and Spike seemed lost in his own thoughts. Finally she broke the awkward silence between them.
"Well, aren't you going to ask me where we're going?"
"Didn't know I was allowed to ask."
"Spike!" Buffy stopped herself before going any further. She wasn't going to let him bait her.
"We're going to your old crypt", she said simply. "Clem has kept it up for you since you've been gone."
Spike just shrugged his shoulders and continued walking. Buffy stopped, looking up at him with uncertainty in her eyes.
"Spike, you… I mean when…"
"Is there something you're trying to say to me Slayer?"
Buffy felt awkward to say the least, she couldn't think of the right words, so she was just going to say it.
"When was the last time you had a bath" she said, her words coming out in a rush.
Spike looked at the ground, clearly uncomfortable.
"There's nothing good or clean in me Slayer, don't you remember?"
"Spike don't… I'm only trying to help. Where… where did you go before, you know… before you left?"
"The 'Y' … and don't even start it. I'd kill those poofsters if they looked at me twice."
Buffy smiled, she had missed this Spike, the one who had a smart answer for everything.
"Well, we're taking a detour. You'll feel a lot better once you get cleaned up."
Spike didn't see any point in arguing with her about it so he went along, walking in silence until he realized they were headed straight for the Summers' house.
"This ain't the way to the Y Slayer."
"I know that. It's not going to do you any good to take a shower if your clothes still smell like a dead… I mean if they.." Buffy stopped, embarrassed. "Uh, sorry."
"S'okay Slayer. You've made it perfectly clear that I'm not fit for proper company."
Buffy was standing at the door to her house, keys in hand. She gave Spike a genuine smile.
"Well, we'll just have to fix that."
Spike fought the overwhelming urge to run, run far and fast. What was this bird playin' at? Now she was going to take him straight into the lion's den…. well, more like the den of the teenager who currently hated his guts and the witch who could fry his innards with one glance. What in the bloody hell was he supposed to do now? He couldn't take this. She was trying to push him over the edge, the evil little chit. Think about Dawn, his inner voice implored him. The Bit, he had to check on her… make sure she was safe, whether she hated him or not. Buffy had told him she would be, but he had to make sure. He hadn't forgotten his promise.
"Well are you just gonna stand here all night?"
Buffy was already inside, holding the door open expectantly.
Oh God, Spike thought…there's no turning back now. He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw… he was going in.