A/N - This is my first FF.net story, inspired by my friends Tegan's excellent song parodies. I hold no claims to being funny, J.K Rowling's characters or the song "Genie In A Bottle". But I hope you enjoy and review :D

The Gryffindor common room was awash with activity. It was the last night before holidays and the students had decided to throw a party. In the corner on a red leather couch was Ron Weasley, watching his best friends Hermione and Harry, dancing alongside a group of their fellow Gryffindors. Stashed inside Ron's robes were two bottles, one already empty and another still containing a small amount of Firewhiskey. Harry had originally been sitting next to him, but when Hermione finally convinced him to dance with her, Ron had pulled out the bottles.

            Depressed at the sight of them, Ron grabbed a guitar resting against the wall and started strumming it. He didn't really care whose it was. He started singing, in a very drunken and off-key way.

            "I feel like I've been locked up tight

            In Azkaban for lonely nights

            Waiting for someone to appease me

            She's lickin' her lips and blowing kisses his way

            But that don't mean he's gonna give it away

            Baby, baby, baby"

And then he let out something that sounded like a wailing cat.

            "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

            Hermione's saying let's go, go

            Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

            But Harry's saying no"

At this point he let rip a diva-like dance move that wouldn't be out of place in a Britney video clip.

            "Must be something 'bout my hair,

 all the girls they ran away

            I'm a piggie in the middle

Best friends are rollin' in the hay.

No one wants to be with me

Oh when will my wish come true,

I'm gonna have a big depression

Oh I can't ignore those two"

Ron remained silent for a minute, trying to think of the next verse, and then continued his intoxicated ramblings.

"I'm thinking hanging, Oh I feel damn low,

Just one more dance they'll be good to go,

Waiting for someone to heed me.

Hormone's racing at the speed of light

but that don't mean it's gonna be tonight.

Never happens that way…"

"Must be something 'bout my hair,

all the girls they ran away

I'm a piggie in the middle

Best friends are rollin' in the hay.

No one wants to be with me

Oh when will my wish come true,

Oh I just wanna flee baby

And go drink a few"


It was about this time Ron spotted Harry winking at Seamus over Hermione's shoulder.