A.N./Warning: Oops, I did it again. Yeah, I wrote a sequel. Nothing I'd
planned on, but the mood hit me, so I wrote. It's just as random. A
little different since it was 2 years ago that I wrote the first. Still
can't quite believe that. Little bit of language, not much. I'm not a man
hater, honest. It was just a comedic devise.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. Yet another harsh reminder of my mundane existence. Will of the Macrocosm was borrowed from Excel Saga, yet another anime that I don't own. But it's on a lot of crack. Highly recommended. Um, don't own pokemon either. Or anything other than Threnody, Amy, and VonVamp. Enjoy.
When This Fic Author Gets Bored, Part Deux By Threnody
Threnody laid face down on the Magic Couch as WuFei's strong hands worked at the knotted muscles in her back. She sighed and relaxed her bare back into his experienced fingers.
Threnody: Ya know, WuFei, I've definitely earned this. Two years of devotion and love and he kicks me to the curb the moment a new piece of tail shows up.
WuFei: *growls* Such injustice cannot be tolerated! To bring such dishonor and shame on your house. This creature is lower than scum!
Threnody: *sweat drop* Dishonor? Shame? Way to make a girl feel good Wuffie.
Suddenly a door opened and light flooded over them both. WuFei looked up but continued massaging the girl's back. Heero leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of him.
Threnody: Do you always have to interrupt me when I'm having.conversations with you boys?
Heero: We've got a problem. VonVamp's manager contacted us. It seems that his contract promised an appearance in a sequel. And his allotted time has almost expired.
Threnody groaned and sat up, letting WuFei's hands trail down her arms coming to rest at her waist. She leaned back against his strong chest, his arms supporting her.
Threnody: Are you saying I've gotta write a sequel to "Bored" starring VonVamp? Again? Forget it. Besides, I'm not bored.
She smiled up at WuFei and she returned it, kissing her bare shoulders gently.
Heero: If you don't honor the contract you'll be forced to MST lemons. You formed the agreement yourself.
Threnody's eyes went wide. She jumped off the Magic Couch and headed to the Keyboard as fast as she could.
Threnody: You two get out of here. This fic starts now.
Heero smirked slightly as he and WuFei popped out of existence.
* * *
Duo padded sleepily out of his room, yawning and rubbing his eyes. For some inexplicable reason all the Gundam boys had decided to get a house and live together. He wasn't really sure why, since they didn't really get along.at all. An oval shape piece of space with two arms and well manicured nails floated across the bottom of the screen.
Will of the Macrocosm: Fanfic authors and I have the same power. Watch out Pe-chan! Here I come!
Duo blinked a couple of times but shrugged and made his way toward the kitchen to get some coffee. He found his journey cut short when his face connected with the floor. He cursed and looked back at his ankles to see video game cords tangled his feet. Following the cord he saw WuFei sitting on the floor staring intently at the TV screen. Duo followed his gaze and saw he was playing against Chun-Li.again.
Duo: Aw man, WuFei! How many times do ya gotta beat that chick before you'll be convinced that you're superior to a bunch of pixels and a computer chip?
WuFei: I must not allow any weakness. I must be constantly ready for any attack. My skills will be sharp, I will not fail again.
Duo: Ya know, you're looking kinda heavy in the hips. You're still training your body still, right?
WuFei: Silence, fool! You know nothing of the true ways of a warrior!
Duo: Yeah, whatever man.
Duo stood up, kicking the wires from his legs and continued his trek to the kitchen. He started the coffee and the other Gundam boys woke up, minus Heero. Quatre stumbled out wearing pajamas that had chibi-designs of the Gundam boys and Relena in various cute poses. He wandered into the kitchen grabbing his favorite Pokemon mug.
Quatre: Where's Heero?
Duo: Dunno. Probably watching Relena's balcony or some other crazy thing like that. That guy's just gotta wake up and marry that girl.
Quatre nodded in agreement and sipped his coffee. They both jumped as the front door slammed open. WuFei shouted something in Chinese and dropped the controller, jumping to his feet. Relena stood there, gasping for breath, fear in her eyes.
Relena: HEEEEEEEEERO!!!
Duo: Dammit woman! Don't yell so loud we're all right here!
WuFei rose slowly, the purple-colored rage taking over once again. Chun-Li danced on the screen fingers forming a "V" as she jumped up and down. He looked at Relena and growled, pulling his katana from.somewhere. He charged toward Relena, sword raised.
WuFei: It's you fault that I am weak! Die woman!
Heero appeared quite suddenly in front of Relena, gun raised. He shot WuFei squarely between the eyes. WuFei fell to the floor, dead, with an "X" where his eyes should be. The small blue galaxy with arms floated by again.
Will of the Macrocosm: Love and Peace! Love and Peace!
WuFei rose and rubbed his head.
Quatre: Where did you come from, Heero?
Heero: .
* * *
Threnody's entire body shook with her sobbing. She burned her face in Quatre's chest and he delicately ran his fingers through her silken hair. Violin music played softly in the background.
Threnody: I gave and I gave and all he ever did was break every promise he ever made to me! And he wasn't even sorry! He broke my heart and he didn't care! He promised to love me forever, and now he's telling some other harlot he'll love her forever!
Quatre pulled her closer, speaking softly and placing gentle kisses on her cheeks.
Quatre: There, there my darling. I know it hurts. It's all right to cry. Just let it all out.
Threnody snuggled closer and the sobs quieted. A bright light flooded over them. Quatre looked up apologetically and Threnody snuggled deeper into Quatre, trying to hide. Heero walked up and death glared at her.
Quatre: Heero, go easy on her. She's still torn up over the idiot who used her. I know it's been 2 months already, but she's still hurting inside.
Heero continued to glare at her until she sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes, frowning at Heero.
Threnody: How did you know I was faking it so I could get "sympathy" from Quatre?
Quatre blinked in surprise and blushed slightly.
Heero: Because I spend six months out of the year with you. Quatre, back in the fic. *pop* You, back to work.
Threnody: *pout* Yes, sir.
* * *
The five boys gathered around Relena concernedly, WuFei still rubbing his head. Quatre stood close to her worriedly. Trowa was ever silent. Duo munched on a pop tart and Heero carefully put his gun away.
Quatre: Relena, what's wrong?
The young woman held up a shaky hand. In it was clasped a small card. Quatre took the card from her and scanned the contents. Duo read over his shoulder.
Duo: So what? It's an invitation to some party.
Relena: Yes, but look whom the invitation is extended from?
Quatre: Baron VanderVillon? What's wrong with him?
Relena: The initials! And the title. Baron V.V. It's him! I know it! VonVamp has returned
Organ music played in the distance as lightning flashed across the sky, followed immediately by thunder.
Quatre: But it's not raining.
Duo: Aw, c'mon Relena. That guy is so dead. We killed him ages ago. It couldn't possibly be him.
WuFei: For once the idiot is right. He was a weak opponent who was easily defeated. He no longer poses a threat. You are being irrational, woman.
Relena frowned sternly at the men as Quatre walked over to an open window and gazed up at the sky.
Quatre: There aren't even any clouds.
Relena: I am not being irrational, WuFei. There was never a body. We don't know if he's dead or not. You are being pigheaded. Now is the perfect time for him to return.
Trowa: Why?
Relena: Because his contract is almost-OW!
She stopped as a stack of bound papers fell on her head and down into her hands. She looked at the book entitled "Script of 'Bored: part deux.'" She paged through it and read silently for a moment. WuFei rolled his eyes and Duo opened another package of pop tarts. Quatre wandered back over still looking bewildered.
Relena: *reading voice* Because this is the time when we would least expect an attack and the world politically tense, meaning my presence is necessary in the political world.
The script popped out of existence.
Duo: Aw, you're just being paranoid, Lena. He ain't comin' back. You're just trying to get Heero to be you date for the party.
Relena blushed and Heero glared at the braided pilot.
Quatre: What an excellent idea Duo! Miss Relena, Heero could escort you to the party and protect you should anything happen. In fact, we could all go! It would be such fun!
WuFei: What?! Are you insane! Do you think we all have nothing better to do than go to stupid social parties?
They all stared at him for a moment as if waiting for him to make a point. He sighed and folded his arms across his chest in consent. Relena smiled happily at them.
Relena: Thank you so much! All of you! I've got the cutest tuxedos picked out for all of you!
Duo: Wait a sec.
* * *
Threnody stood with her back to Duo, head lowered, biting her bottom lip. A slight breeze from and unknown source blew through her luxurious hair, carrying cherry blossom petals with it.
Threnody: Oh, Duo. Was it I? Did I do something wrong? Why did it have to be like this? Wasn't I good enough for him?
Duo stepped forward and wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her close to him. He trailed kisses down her neck.
Duo: Aw, sexy, it ain't your fault. You just need some *singing* "sexual heeeealing".
He wiggled his eyebrows and playfully pushed her down onto the Magic Couch that materialized from nothing. She laughed and turned to kiss him as they started a new "conversation."
A bright light washed over them, and again they ignored it. Heero walked up and shook his head, grabbing the braid he pulled a yelping Duo toward the door. Threnody gasped and yelped as well trying to sit up and straighten her clothes.
Threnody: Heero! Heero wait! Just cause I don't wanna MST lemons doesn't mean I don't want to star in one! Duo, come back! Heero! You jerk!
Duo: Aw c'mon man! It was just starting to get good!
The door slammed and Threnody "harrumphed" her way back to the keyboard, buttoning her shirt back up.
* * *
The five Gundam boys and Relena sat in the limo. The boys were dressed in the finest tuxedos, each reflecting the boy's personality. Duo's was a long tailed tux with a preacher's collar. Heero and Trowa wore a more traditional tuxedo with straight lines, harsh and angular. Quatre's was a bit softer; he wore a pale yellow shirt underneath. WuFei wore a traditional Chinese dress shirt made of the finest red silk. Relena blushed as she gazed at the handsome men around her. (And by blushed I mean drooled.) Her own dress was a simple white satin gown that came high up on her neck but left her arms bare. Duo winked at her.
Duo: Lookin' hot, sexy momma.
Quatre: Duo!
Heero: Omae wa korosu.
And he pulled out a gun and shot Duo. They all blinked and stared at the braided pilot's corpse. Heero crossed his arms and leaned back against the seat with his eyes closed. The blue piece of space floated by.
Will of the Macrocosm: Heero-chan! No more killing people! Especially the main characters!
Duo sat up straight and rubbed his head.
Duo: When do we eat?
Quatre: Eat?! You just died and came back to life! And all you can think about is food?
Duo: Yup.
Quatre shook his head. The limo pulled to a stop as they reached the large, looming mansion at the top of a hill on the outskirts of town. A few bats flew overhead as they exited the limousine. Several expensive cars were parked around the garage area. Relena latched herself to Heero's arm and the six young people headed inside.
The house was as grandiose inside as it was outside. Every thing looked antique and artifacts lined each wall. Relena raised her eyebrows at the sight and nodded in approval. Attendants lead them to a ballroom where many people were already gathered dancing, talking and eating. Duo bolted straight to the buffet table when he saw it. Trowa said something to Heero then wandered off. WuFei left as well and found a wall to lean against with his eyes closed. Heero and Quatre stayed with Relena as she mingled. Quatre chatted occasionally but Heero kept an eye out, ignoring the many women who asked him to dance. He ended up getting slapped twice and had a glass of water thrown in his face. Things hadn't gone quite as he had planned.
Eventually the host found his way to them. He was a tall man, who looked incredibly like VonVamp, only his hair was black and his skin tan rather than pale.
VanderVillon: Ah! Relena Peacecraft! What an honor it is to have you here. I cannot express how overjoyed I am.
He raised both her hands to his lips and kissed them. Relena looked uncertainly towards Quatre, but smiled at their host.
Relena: Baron VanderVillon. It's an honor to meet you. I was quite surprised to receive your invitation, especially since we had not previously been introduced.
He smiled at her, but something sinister lay behind his pleasant demeanor.
VanderVillon: Oh come now, my dear. Everyone has heard of the beautiful Relena Peacecraft. Your success and triumphs have been legendary.
Relena blushed and glanced at Heero. He was staring suspiciously at the Baron. Quatre appeared uneasy as well. The room seemed to grow quiet.
Relena: I thank you for greeting us personally, but surely you have other guests to attend to?
VanderVillon: Other guests? Why my dear, you are the Guest of Honor. No one else matters.
Relena: Guest of Honor? I wasn't aware-
VanderVillon: This may be my last chance to kill the little tramp that sent me to hell for two years.
Before anyone could react [though Heero had his gun half drawn] the other guests turned into hideous demons and several restrained each of the boys. Relena stood frozen in fear, staring wide-eyed as VanderVillon's hair faded to white and his skin grew pale as death. It was.VonVamp!
Lightning crash. Thunderclap.
Relena: You're not VanderVillon!! You're VonVamp!!
VonVamp: How astute my darling Princess. No wonder they made you Queen of the World. And now, my dear, it is time for you to meet your just desserts.
Duo popped up, arms full of food.
Duo: Did someone say dessert?
He was quickly jumped by five demon creatures. VonVamp laughed maniacally and threw his cape open, enveloping Relena.
* * *
Threnody and Heero sat on the Magic Couch, Threnody tracing circles on his thigh.
Threnody: Heero.I know it's your month with Amy, but you know about the Time of Crisis Clause.and well, I'm still having a crisis and I definitely need some comforting.
Heero's lip twitched slightly but he leaned down and pressed his lips against the young woman's full lips. As they began their own "conversation", neither of them noticed the *POOF* of the pink smoke that drifted over them. Threnody looked up when she heard the "tap, tap, tap." of someone's foot. She yelped when she saw who it was and shoved Heero off the Couch. He landed on his butt with a solid *thump*.
Threnody: A-amichan.
Amy: Don't try to play innocent with me, woman! And don't give me any of that Time of Crisis Clause crap. I know full well that you aren't at that stage of pain anymore. And you! [points at Heero] You were far too willing to agree to the Clause. I think we're going to have a long "conversation" about loyalty.
They petite beauty grabbed him by the waistband of his spandex and *poofed* away in pink smoke.
Threnody: Hey! Wait! I still need him to finish the fic! Amichaaaaaaan! Gomen nasaaaaaaaaai!!
Heero *poofed* back a moment later with lipstick kisses on his cheeks and a note pined to his green tank top. It read:
He's mine. Touch him and die. I mean it. ~Amy
Threnody sighed and smacked Heero's butt as he popped out of existence. She shuffled back the keyboard and continued typing.
* * *
They were taken to a dungeon below the house. Four of the Gundam boys were chained to the wall. Trowa was nowhere to be found. Relena was delicately restrained to an oversized, red, velvet plush throne. VonVamp stood imposingly next to a small cluster of demons.
VonVamp: Find the last boy. Failure will be rewarded with death. [turns toward Relena] Now, my beauteous Princess, I do hope you've fared well over the last two years. I'd hate to give you the satisfaction of ending a miserable life. You might thank me. And I don't believe my constitution could take that.
Duo: Hey! Shut yer pie hole, ya bastard! There ain't no way that you're gonna kill Relena. Ya undead freak! You're not even the good undead. If you were a zombie I could forgive ya cause zombies are cool. You're just a stupid vampire. Not even a good vampire. All you suck is energy. What kind of vampire doesn't suck blood? Loser undead freak!
VonVamp's eyebrow twitched. He snapped his fingers and three demons immediately appeared at his side.
VonVamp: Take care of the loud-mouthed, obnoxious one.
The three demons cackled evilly and slowly approached Duo. They meticulously crept upon the youth, sharp teeth glistening with saliva. They snapped him as they approached. Duo met them with an unwavering gaze, ready to face whatever they could dish up. They stopped just short of the man, bared their fangs and pounced.
Duo: Hey! Ow! Don't touch me there! Ohh.hey.heehee. Ah! *laugh, snort* Hey, that tickles! Ooh! HAHAHA! Hey, stoppit!
VonVamp sighed and shook his head turning back to the young woman. While the demons were distracted Heero reached up and touched a button against his cufflink, a small blade shot out of it. He began cutting the chains. VonVamp stared at Relena for a moment, pacing in front of her. Duo's laughter could still be heard in the background.
VonVamp: I'm trying to decide if I should allow myself the indulgence of slicing up your delicate flesh, or draining the very soul from your body. It is a rather difficult choice. One is so messy, and yet satisfying. The other causes you longer pain however, and I get to watch the fear in your eyes as you die.
Relena's eyes widened and she gasped as VonVamp closed in on her.
* * *
Threnody hiccupped and threw herself down on Trowa's lap. The one- eyed pilot blinked his one eye and stared down at the intoxicated woman, unsure of how to proceed.
Threnody: Sho ya shee, Twowa, it washn't my fault at all. *hiccup* Ih dhid eveyting wite. An' he shtill abanded me. I jush don' know what I kin do about it. I mish him, but I hate him. Will you help me get ohver 'im?
She leaned in closely, resting her head against Trowa's chest. He grabbed her shoulders, and semi proper her up. He looked very uncomfortable and quite cute. Threnody leaned closer, lips puckered when light flooded them both. Threnody didn't notice it in her state and ended up planting a kiss on Trowa's shoulder. She took advantage of the situation and snuggled into him. Heero walked up and death glared at the girl. Trowa looked up at him, frowning as well. Heero walked over and picked up the bottle she had been drinking from. He sniffed it, frowned again, and took a drink. Threnody looked worried. Heero turned his death glare back on her.
Heero: This is Cherry 7-Up. You're not drunk.
Threnody: Oh for crying out loud! I can't ever get this guy to lay a hand on me! He's tall and handsome and mysterious. And I'm freakin' gorgeous. I was hoping if I was drunk then he'd take advantage of the situation, but nooooo. He's gotta be all honorable and crap. Well forget it! I give up!
She stomped out of the room leaving the boys alone. They nodded to each other and popped out of existence.
* * *
VonVamp trailed his fingers down Relena's cheek and down her neck, coming to rest on her collarbone. She shivered under his touch and a familiar red glow began emanating from her. She raised her eyes to meet VonVamp's. He sneered at her but she met his gaze firmly, trusting whole- heartedly that her rescue would soon arrive. She was sadly mistaken however, since no guy is trustworthy, or ever keeps their promises. So she died. And Heero sat around on his ass, like the lazy bum that all men are and-
Will of the Macrocosm: Threnody-chan! No letting personal biases affect the storyline. You know better!
Threnody: *sigh* yes ma'am.
She raised her eyes to meet VonVamp's. He sneered at her but she met his gaze firmly, trusting whole-heartedly that her rescue would soon arrive.
VonVamp: You may be strong now, my dear, but there is no one to rescue you. My minions are far too strong. You shan't escape.
Relena: You seem to have forgotten one essential fact, Baron VonVamp.
VonVamp: Oh? And whatever could that be.
Relena: Good always wins.
Trowa came flying down from the rafters, doing many acrobatic flips and landing between Relena and VonVamp. The vampire gasped and backed away, snarling at the man. Heero broke away from his chains and rushed towards them. He and Trowa circled VonVamp.
Trowa: Give it up, VonVamp. There's no way that you can beat us. You're not nearly as powerful as you were two years ago.
VonVamp: *laughing darkly* Oh, really? Perhaps your hair has impaired your judgment, my dear Gundam pilot. For I am ten times stronger than ever before!
VonVamp began to grunt and yell. [raising his power level of course.] His form grew larger, his clothing ripping at the seems. His skin turned red and horns grew from his forehead. He stood before the surprised youngsters, his laugh echoing evilly.
VonVamp: There is no way you can hope to defeat me! Prepare to die, mortals!
The vicious battle ensued. The boys fought bravely against the monster, but it was soon apparent that they would need help. A claw ripped out, striking Heero across his arm. He grunted but continued fighting. Relena gasped, and tears filled her eyes. She could not stand by and watch her Heero be killed. She struggled against her bonds and managed to break free of them with surprising ease. She knocked the throne over and began stomping on one of the legs until it broke off.
Relena: Heero! Catch!
She threw the stake towards Heero and he caught it mid-flight. He glanced over at her eyebrow raised and nodded. She blushed slightly and looked away. Heero's attention was brought suddenly back to the present as one VonVamp's hands clasped him tightly and lifted him off the ground. Trowa had been knocked to the ground and looked slightly dazed. VonVamp pulled Heero in close, staring him in the eyes.
VonVamp: I'm going to squash you like the annoying bug that you are. No longer will you be a thorn in my side, boy! Die!
Heero dragged himself out of VonVamp's grasped and lunged toward his chest, stake out like a spear. Heero: Omae wa korosu.
The stake plunged into VonVamp's chest, spurting fiery blood over the ground. The demons left in the room howled and melted into a pile of ash. VonVamp clawed at his chest, a shocked look on his face. He stumbled backwards and Heero hit the ground, tucking into a roll. A large fiery pit opened up behind VonVamp, quite conveniently. Dark, glistening snakes wrapped themselves around VonVamp's limbs. His eyes closed and the snakes dragged him down into the flames, the chasm closing behind them.
Relena ran over to where Heero sat, kneeling down next to him she looked concernedly into his eyes. The mansion slowly began to age around them. Heero met Relena's eyes and simply nodded. She grabbed the hem of her dress, and ripped a long strip off of it. She tied it around his arm, carefully so not to cause him more pain.
Heero: My injury is on the other arm.
Relena's eyes widened and her face glowed red. She took the bandage of and clumsily wrapped it around the other arm. The other three pilots walked up, strange black goo around their wrists.
Duo: The chains kinda melted on us. Kinda cool, actually.
Quatre: Ew, ew, ew. It's gross!
Trowa: We should evacuate. From the looks of things this mansion is not dissimilar to the last one we encountered with VonVamp. It will most likely collapse.
A large ceiling tile fell to the ground with a loud crash. Duo jumped back from where it had almost hit him.
Duo: Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Heero gathered Relena in his arms and they all raced for the exit. They made it out just seconds before the house collapsed. Heero gently placed Relena down and the walked toward their limo. The cars that had been there earlier were now piles of the black goo. No evidence of a party, or house existed.
Duo: Where does this guy get these mansions?
Quatre: Home shopping channel perhaps? You know, I saw the cutest porcelain Pikachu the other day.
The mention of television brought WuFei's thoughts to the opponent who recently defeated him. He growled something about Chun-Li and climbed into the limo. Duo climbed in with Quatre, chatting incessantly about items for sale on HSC. Trowa followed stoically. Relena grasped Heero's good arm before he could enter the car.
Relena: Heero, thank you for saving me from VonVamp.again. I really do appreciate everything you do for me.
He nodded and started to enter the car before she pulled him back. He almost looked annoyed when he suddenly found her lips pressed against his. He was entirely startled and for the first time ever, had no clue as how to proceed. But the instant was gone and Relena smiled up at his shocked expression. She climbed into the car and joined Quatre and Duo's conversation. Heero remained outside the car, still bewildered.
Duo: Hey man! You gettin' in or not? I'm hungry!
Heero blinked a couple more times then climbed slowly into the limo. The car pulled away from the empty lot and drove off into the sunset.
Quatre: Wasn't it night when we got here?
* * *
The entire cast including Threnody and Amy were gathered in the Room, wearing their formal outfits. The mingled and laughed, drinking Cherry 7- Up and enjoying the end of-I mean success of yet another fic.
Threnody: Thank you dear reader for sticking through till the end. It was an entirely random and crazy ride. I do hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to review about how you loved it or hated it! Oh, and if you're going to MST it, let me know. I'd love to read it. Ja ne!
Everyone blew a big kiss at the Reader. Except Heero, Trowa or WuFei. They were promptly glomped and tickled.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. Yet another harsh reminder of my mundane existence. Will of the Macrocosm was borrowed from Excel Saga, yet another anime that I don't own. But it's on a lot of crack. Highly recommended. Um, don't own pokemon either. Or anything other than Threnody, Amy, and VonVamp. Enjoy.
When This Fic Author Gets Bored, Part Deux By Threnody
Threnody laid face down on the Magic Couch as WuFei's strong hands worked at the knotted muscles in her back. She sighed and relaxed her bare back into his experienced fingers.
Threnody: Ya know, WuFei, I've definitely earned this. Two years of devotion and love and he kicks me to the curb the moment a new piece of tail shows up.
WuFei: *growls* Such injustice cannot be tolerated! To bring such dishonor and shame on your house. This creature is lower than scum!
Threnody: *sweat drop* Dishonor? Shame? Way to make a girl feel good Wuffie.
Suddenly a door opened and light flooded over them both. WuFei looked up but continued massaging the girl's back. Heero leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of him.
Threnody: Do you always have to interrupt me when I'm having.conversations with you boys?
Heero: We've got a problem. VonVamp's manager contacted us. It seems that his contract promised an appearance in a sequel. And his allotted time has almost expired.
Threnody groaned and sat up, letting WuFei's hands trail down her arms coming to rest at her waist. She leaned back against his strong chest, his arms supporting her.
Threnody: Are you saying I've gotta write a sequel to "Bored" starring VonVamp? Again? Forget it. Besides, I'm not bored.
She smiled up at WuFei and she returned it, kissing her bare shoulders gently.
Heero: If you don't honor the contract you'll be forced to MST lemons. You formed the agreement yourself.
Threnody's eyes went wide. She jumped off the Magic Couch and headed to the Keyboard as fast as she could.
Threnody: You two get out of here. This fic starts now.
Heero smirked slightly as he and WuFei popped out of existence.
* * *
Duo padded sleepily out of his room, yawning and rubbing his eyes. For some inexplicable reason all the Gundam boys had decided to get a house and live together. He wasn't really sure why, since they didn't really get along.at all. An oval shape piece of space with two arms and well manicured nails floated across the bottom of the screen.
Will of the Macrocosm: Fanfic authors and I have the same power. Watch out Pe-chan! Here I come!
Duo blinked a couple of times but shrugged and made his way toward the kitchen to get some coffee. He found his journey cut short when his face connected with the floor. He cursed and looked back at his ankles to see video game cords tangled his feet. Following the cord he saw WuFei sitting on the floor staring intently at the TV screen. Duo followed his gaze and saw he was playing against Chun-Li.again.
Duo: Aw man, WuFei! How many times do ya gotta beat that chick before you'll be convinced that you're superior to a bunch of pixels and a computer chip?
WuFei: I must not allow any weakness. I must be constantly ready for any attack. My skills will be sharp, I will not fail again.
Duo: Ya know, you're looking kinda heavy in the hips. You're still training your body still, right?
WuFei: Silence, fool! You know nothing of the true ways of a warrior!
Duo: Yeah, whatever man.
Duo stood up, kicking the wires from his legs and continued his trek to the kitchen. He started the coffee and the other Gundam boys woke up, minus Heero. Quatre stumbled out wearing pajamas that had chibi-designs of the Gundam boys and Relena in various cute poses. He wandered into the kitchen grabbing his favorite Pokemon mug.
Quatre: Where's Heero?
Duo: Dunno. Probably watching Relena's balcony or some other crazy thing like that. That guy's just gotta wake up and marry that girl.
Quatre nodded in agreement and sipped his coffee. They both jumped as the front door slammed open. WuFei shouted something in Chinese and dropped the controller, jumping to his feet. Relena stood there, gasping for breath, fear in her eyes.
Relena: HEEEEEEEEERO!!!
Duo: Dammit woman! Don't yell so loud we're all right here!
WuFei rose slowly, the purple-colored rage taking over once again. Chun-Li danced on the screen fingers forming a "V" as she jumped up and down. He looked at Relena and growled, pulling his katana from.somewhere. He charged toward Relena, sword raised.
WuFei: It's you fault that I am weak! Die woman!
Heero appeared quite suddenly in front of Relena, gun raised. He shot WuFei squarely between the eyes. WuFei fell to the floor, dead, with an "X" where his eyes should be. The small blue galaxy with arms floated by again.
Will of the Macrocosm: Love and Peace! Love and Peace!
WuFei rose and rubbed his head.
Quatre: Where did you come from, Heero?
Heero: .
* * *
Threnody's entire body shook with her sobbing. She burned her face in Quatre's chest and he delicately ran his fingers through her silken hair. Violin music played softly in the background.
Threnody: I gave and I gave and all he ever did was break every promise he ever made to me! And he wasn't even sorry! He broke my heart and he didn't care! He promised to love me forever, and now he's telling some other harlot he'll love her forever!
Quatre pulled her closer, speaking softly and placing gentle kisses on her cheeks.
Quatre: There, there my darling. I know it hurts. It's all right to cry. Just let it all out.
Threnody snuggled closer and the sobs quieted. A bright light flooded over them. Quatre looked up apologetically and Threnody snuggled deeper into Quatre, trying to hide. Heero walked up and death glared at her.
Quatre: Heero, go easy on her. She's still torn up over the idiot who used her. I know it's been 2 months already, but she's still hurting inside.
Heero continued to glare at her until she sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes, frowning at Heero.
Threnody: How did you know I was faking it so I could get "sympathy" from Quatre?
Quatre blinked in surprise and blushed slightly.
Heero: Because I spend six months out of the year with you. Quatre, back in the fic. *pop* You, back to work.
Threnody: *pout* Yes, sir.
* * *
The five boys gathered around Relena concernedly, WuFei still rubbing his head. Quatre stood close to her worriedly. Trowa was ever silent. Duo munched on a pop tart and Heero carefully put his gun away.
Quatre: Relena, what's wrong?
The young woman held up a shaky hand. In it was clasped a small card. Quatre took the card from her and scanned the contents. Duo read over his shoulder.
Duo: So what? It's an invitation to some party.
Relena: Yes, but look whom the invitation is extended from?
Quatre: Baron VanderVillon? What's wrong with him?
Relena: The initials! And the title. Baron V.V. It's him! I know it! VonVamp has returned
Organ music played in the distance as lightning flashed across the sky, followed immediately by thunder.
Quatre: But it's not raining.
Duo: Aw, c'mon Relena. That guy is so dead. We killed him ages ago. It couldn't possibly be him.
WuFei: For once the idiot is right. He was a weak opponent who was easily defeated. He no longer poses a threat. You are being irrational, woman.
Relena frowned sternly at the men as Quatre walked over to an open window and gazed up at the sky.
Quatre: There aren't even any clouds.
Relena: I am not being irrational, WuFei. There was never a body. We don't know if he's dead or not. You are being pigheaded. Now is the perfect time for him to return.
Trowa: Why?
Relena: Because his contract is almost-OW!
She stopped as a stack of bound papers fell on her head and down into her hands. She looked at the book entitled "Script of 'Bored: part deux.'" She paged through it and read silently for a moment. WuFei rolled his eyes and Duo opened another package of pop tarts. Quatre wandered back over still looking bewildered.
Relena: *reading voice* Because this is the time when we would least expect an attack and the world politically tense, meaning my presence is necessary in the political world.
The script popped out of existence.
Duo: Aw, you're just being paranoid, Lena. He ain't comin' back. You're just trying to get Heero to be you date for the party.
Relena blushed and Heero glared at the braided pilot.
Quatre: What an excellent idea Duo! Miss Relena, Heero could escort you to the party and protect you should anything happen. In fact, we could all go! It would be such fun!
WuFei: What?! Are you insane! Do you think we all have nothing better to do than go to stupid social parties?
They all stared at him for a moment as if waiting for him to make a point. He sighed and folded his arms across his chest in consent. Relena smiled happily at them.
Relena: Thank you so much! All of you! I've got the cutest tuxedos picked out for all of you!
Duo: Wait a sec.
* * *
Threnody stood with her back to Duo, head lowered, biting her bottom lip. A slight breeze from and unknown source blew through her luxurious hair, carrying cherry blossom petals with it.
Threnody: Oh, Duo. Was it I? Did I do something wrong? Why did it have to be like this? Wasn't I good enough for him?
Duo stepped forward and wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her close to him. He trailed kisses down her neck.
Duo: Aw, sexy, it ain't your fault. You just need some *singing* "sexual heeeealing".
He wiggled his eyebrows and playfully pushed her down onto the Magic Couch that materialized from nothing. She laughed and turned to kiss him as they started a new "conversation."
A bright light washed over them, and again they ignored it. Heero walked up and shook his head, grabbing the braid he pulled a yelping Duo toward the door. Threnody gasped and yelped as well trying to sit up and straighten her clothes.
Threnody: Heero! Heero wait! Just cause I don't wanna MST lemons doesn't mean I don't want to star in one! Duo, come back! Heero! You jerk!
Duo: Aw c'mon man! It was just starting to get good!
The door slammed and Threnody "harrumphed" her way back to the keyboard, buttoning her shirt back up.
* * *
The five Gundam boys and Relena sat in the limo. The boys were dressed in the finest tuxedos, each reflecting the boy's personality. Duo's was a long tailed tux with a preacher's collar. Heero and Trowa wore a more traditional tuxedo with straight lines, harsh and angular. Quatre's was a bit softer; he wore a pale yellow shirt underneath. WuFei wore a traditional Chinese dress shirt made of the finest red silk. Relena blushed as she gazed at the handsome men around her. (And by blushed I mean drooled.) Her own dress was a simple white satin gown that came high up on her neck but left her arms bare. Duo winked at her.
Duo: Lookin' hot, sexy momma.
Quatre: Duo!
Heero: Omae wa korosu.
And he pulled out a gun and shot Duo. They all blinked and stared at the braided pilot's corpse. Heero crossed his arms and leaned back against the seat with his eyes closed. The blue piece of space floated by.
Will of the Macrocosm: Heero-chan! No more killing people! Especially the main characters!
Duo sat up straight and rubbed his head.
Duo: When do we eat?
Quatre: Eat?! You just died and came back to life! And all you can think about is food?
Duo: Yup.
Quatre shook his head. The limo pulled to a stop as they reached the large, looming mansion at the top of a hill on the outskirts of town. A few bats flew overhead as they exited the limousine. Several expensive cars were parked around the garage area. Relena latched herself to Heero's arm and the six young people headed inside.
The house was as grandiose inside as it was outside. Every thing looked antique and artifacts lined each wall. Relena raised her eyebrows at the sight and nodded in approval. Attendants lead them to a ballroom where many people were already gathered dancing, talking and eating. Duo bolted straight to the buffet table when he saw it. Trowa said something to Heero then wandered off. WuFei left as well and found a wall to lean against with his eyes closed. Heero and Quatre stayed with Relena as she mingled. Quatre chatted occasionally but Heero kept an eye out, ignoring the many women who asked him to dance. He ended up getting slapped twice and had a glass of water thrown in his face. Things hadn't gone quite as he had planned.
Eventually the host found his way to them. He was a tall man, who looked incredibly like VonVamp, only his hair was black and his skin tan rather than pale.
VanderVillon: Ah! Relena Peacecraft! What an honor it is to have you here. I cannot express how overjoyed I am.
He raised both her hands to his lips and kissed them. Relena looked uncertainly towards Quatre, but smiled at their host.
Relena: Baron VanderVillon. It's an honor to meet you. I was quite surprised to receive your invitation, especially since we had not previously been introduced.
He smiled at her, but something sinister lay behind his pleasant demeanor.
VanderVillon: Oh come now, my dear. Everyone has heard of the beautiful Relena Peacecraft. Your success and triumphs have been legendary.
Relena blushed and glanced at Heero. He was staring suspiciously at the Baron. Quatre appeared uneasy as well. The room seemed to grow quiet.
Relena: I thank you for greeting us personally, but surely you have other guests to attend to?
VanderVillon: Other guests? Why my dear, you are the Guest of Honor. No one else matters.
Relena: Guest of Honor? I wasn't aware-
VanderVillon: This may be my last chance to kill the little tramp that sent me to hell for two years.
Before anyone could react [though Heero had his gun half drawn] the other guests turned into hideous demons and several restrained each of the boys. Relena stood frozen in fear, staring wide-eyed as VanderVillon's hair faded to white and his skin grew pale as death. It was.VonVamp!
Lightning crash. Thunderclap.
Relena: You're not VanderVillon!! You're VonVamp!!
VonVamp: How astute my darling Princess. No wonder they made you Queen of the World. And now, my dear, it is time for you to meet your just desserts.
Duo popped up, arms full of food.
Duo: Did someone say dessert?
He was quickly jumped by five demon creatures. VonVamp laughed maniacally and threw his cape open, enveloping Relena.
* * *
Threnody and Heero sat on the Magic Couch, Threnody tracing circles on his thigh.
Threnody: Heero.I know it's your month with Amy, but you know about the Time of Crisis Clause.and well, I'm still having a crisis and I definitely need some comforting.
Heero's lip twitched slightly but he leaned down and pressed his lips against the young woman's full lips. As they began their own "conversation", neither of them noticed the *POOF* of the pink smoke that drifted over them. Threnody looked up when she heard the "tap, tap, tap." of someone's foot. She yelped when she saw who it was and shoved Heero off the Couch. He landed on his butt with a solid *thump*.
Threnody: A-amichan.
Amy: Don't try to play innocent with me, woman! And don't give me any of that Time of Crisis Clause crap. I know full well that you aren't at that stage of pain anymore. And you! [points at Heero] You were far too willing to agree to the Clause. I think we're going to have a long "conversation" about loyalty.
They petite beauty grabbed him by the waistband of his spandex and *poofed* away in pink smoke.
Threnody: Hey! Wait! I still need him to finish the fic! Amichaaaaaaan! Gomen nasaaaaaaaaai!!
Heero *poofed* back a moment later with lipstick kisses on his cheeks and a note pined to his green tank top. It read:
He's mine. Touch him and die. I mean it. ~Amy
Threnody sighed and smacked Heero's butt as he popped out of existence. She shuffled back the keyboard and continued typing.
* * *
They were taken to a dungeon below the house. Four of the Gundam boys were chained to the wall. Trowa was nowhere to be found. Relena was delicately restrained to an oversized, red, velvet plush throne. VonVamp stood imposingly next to a small cluster of demons.
VonVamp: Find the last boy. Failure will be rewarded with death. [turns toward Relena] Now, my beauteous Princess, I do hope you've fared well over the last two years. I'd hate to give you the satisfaction of ending a miserable life. You might thank me. And I don't believe my constitution could take that.
Duo: Hey! Shut yer pie hole, ya bastard! There ain't no way that you're gonna kill Relena. Ya undead freak! You're not even the good undead. If you were a zombie I could forgive ya cause zombies are cool. You're just a stupid vampire. Not even a good vampire. All you suck is energy. What kind of vampire doesn't suck blood? Loser undead freak!
VonVamp's eyebrow twitched. He snapped his fingers and three demons immediately appeared at his side.
VonVamp: Take care of the loud-mouthed, obnoxious one.
The three demons cackled evilly and slowly approached Duo. They meticulously crept upon the youth, sharp teeth glistening with saliva. They snapped him as they approached. Duo met them with an unwavering gaze, ready to face whatever they could dish up. They stopped just short of the man, bared their fangs and pounced.
Duo: Hey! Ow! Don't touch me there! Ohh.hey.heehee. Ah! *laugh, snort* Hey, that tickles! Ooh! HAHAHA! Hey, stoppit!
VonVamp sighed and shook his head turning back to the young woman. While the demons were distracted Heero reached up and touched a button against his cufflink, a small blade shot out of it. He began cutting the chains. VonVamp stared at Relena for a moment, pacing in front of her. Duo's laughter could still be heard in the background.
VonVamp: I'm trying to decide if I should allow myself the indulgence of slicing up your delicate flesh, or draining the very soul from your body. It is a rather difficult choice. One is so messy, and yet satisfying. The other causes you longer pain however, and I get to watch the fear in your eyes as you die.
Relena's eyes widened and she gasped as VonVamp closed in on her.
* * *
Threnody hiccupped and threw herself down on Trowa's lap. The one- eyed pilot blinked his one eye and stared down at the intoxicated woman, unsure of how to proceed.
Threnody: Sho ya shee, Twowa, it washn't my fault at all. *hiccup* Ih dhid eveyting wite. An' he shtill abanded me. I jush don' know what I kin do about it. I mish him, but I hate him. Will you help me get ohver 'im?
She leaned in closely, resting her head against Trowa's chest. He grabbed her shoulders, and semi proper her up. He looked very uncomfortable and quite cute. Threnody leaned closer, lips puckered when light flooded them both. Threnody didn't notice it in her state and ended up planting a kiss on Trowa's shoulder. She took advantage of the situation and snuggled into him. Heero walked up and death glared at the girl. Trowa looked up at him, frowning as well. Heero walked over and picked up the bottle she had been drinking from. He sniffed it, frowned again, and took a drink. Threnody looked worried. Heero turned his death glare back on her.
Heero: This is Cherry 7-Up. You're not drunk.
Threnody: Oh for crying out loud! I can't ever get this guy to lay a hand on me! He's tall and handsome and mysterious. And I'm freakin' gorgeous. I was hoping if I was drunk then he'd take advantage of the situation, but nooooo. He's gotta be all honorable and crap. Well forget it! I give up!
She stomped out of the room leaving the boys alone. They nodded to each other and popped out of existence.
* * *
VonVamp trailed his fingers down Relena's cheek and down her neck, coming to rest on her collarbone. She shivered under his touch and a familiar red glow began emanating from her. She raised her eyes to meet VonVamp's. He sneered at her but she met his gaze firmly, trusting whole- heartedly that her rescue would soon arrive. She was sadly mistaken however, since no guy is trustworthy, or ever keeps their promises. So she died. And Heero sat around on his ass, like the lazy bum that all men are and-
Will of the Macrocosm: Threnody-chan! No letting personal biases affect the storyline. You know better!
Threnody: *sigh* yes ma'am.
She raised her eyes to meet VonVamp's. He sneered at her but she met his gaze firmly, trusting whole-heartedly that her rescue would soon arrive.
VonVamp: You may be strong now, my dear, but there is no one to rescue you. My minions are far too strong. You shan't escape.
Relena: You seem to have forgotten one essential fact, Baron VonVamp.
VonVamp: Oh? And whatever could that be.
Relena: Good always wins.
Trowa came flying down from the rafters, doing many acrobatic flips and landing between Relena and VonVamp. The vampire gasped and backed away, snarling at the man. Heero broke away from his chains and rushed towards them. He and Trowa circled VonVamp.
Trowa: Give it up, VonVamp. There's no way that you can beat us. You're not nearly as powerful as you were two years ago.
VonVamp: *laughing darkly* Oh, really? Perhaps your hair has impaired your judgment, my dear Gundam pilot. For I am ten times stronger than ever before!
VonVamp began to grunt and yell. [raising his power level of course.] His form grew larger, his clothing ripping at the seems. His skin turned red and horns grew from his forehead. He stood before the surprised youngsters, his laugh echoing evilly.
VonVamp: There is no way you can hope to defeat me! Prepare to die, mortals!
The vicious battle ensued. The boys fought bravely against the monster, but it was soon apparent that they would need help. A claw ripped out, striking Heero across his arm. He grunted but continued fighting. Relena gasped, and tears filled her eyes. She could not stand by and watch her Heero be killed. She struggled against her bonds and managed to break free of them with surprising ease. She knocked the throne over and began stomping on one of the legs until it broke off.
Relena: Heero! Catch!
She threw the stake towards Heero and he caught it mid-flight. He glanced over at her eyebrow raised and nodded. She blushed slightly and looked away. Heero's attention was brought suddenly back to the present as one VonVamp's hands clasped him tightly and lifted him off the ground. Trowa had been knocked to the ground and looked slightly dazed. VonVamp pulled Heero in close, staring him in the eyes.
VonVamp: I'm going to squash you like the annoying bug that you are. No longer will you be a thorn in my side, boy! Die!
Heero dragged himself out of VonVamp's grasped and lunged toward his chest, stake out like a spear. Heero: Omae wa korosu.
The stake plunged into VonVamp's chest, spurting fiery blood over the ground. The demons left in the room howled and melted into a pile of ash. VonVamp clawed at his chest, a shocked look on his face. He stumbled backwards and Heero hit the ground, tucking into a roll. A large fiery pit opened up behind VonVamp, quite conveniently. Dark, glistening snakes wrapped themselves around VonVamp's limbs. His eyes closed and the snakes dragged him down into the flames, the chasm closing behind them.
Relena ran over to where Heero sat, kneeling down next to him she looked concernedly into his eyes. The mansion slowly began to age around them. Heero met Relena's eyes and simply nodded. She grabbed the hem of her dress, and ripped a long strip off of it. She tied it around his arm, carefully so not to cause him more pain.
Heero: My injury is on the other arm.
Relena's eyes widened and her face glowed red. She took the bandage of and clumsily wrapped it around the other arm. The other three pilots walked up, strange black goo around their wrists.
Duo: The chains kinda melted on us. Kinda cool, actually.
Quatre: Ew, ew, ew. It's gross!
Trowa: We should evacuate. From the looks of things this mansion is not dissimilar to the last one we encountered with VonVamp. It will most likely collapse.
A large ceiling tile fell to the ground with a loud crash. Duo jumped back from where it had almost hit him.
Duo: Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Heero gathered Relena in his arms and they all raced for the exit. They made it out just seconds before the house collapsed. Heero gently placed Relena down and the walked toward their limo. The cars that had been there earlier were now piles of the black goo. No evidence of a party, or house existed.
Duo: Where does this guy get these mansions?
Quatre: Home shopping channel perhaps? You know, I saw the cutest porcelain Pikachu the other day.
The mention of television brought WuFei's thoughts to the opponent who recently defeated him. He growled something about Chun-Li and climbed into the limo. Duo climbed in with Quatre, chatting incessantly about items for sale on HSC. Trowa followed stoically. Relena grasped Heero's good arm before he could enter the car.
Relena: Heero, thank you for saving me from VonVamp.again. I really do appreciate everything you do for me.
He nodded and started to enter the car before she pulled him back. He almost looked annoyed when he suddenly found her lips pressed against his. He was entirely startled and for the first time ever, had no clue as how to proceed. But the instant was gone and Relena smiled up at his shocked expression. She climbed into the car and joined Quatre and Duo's conversation. Heero remained outside the car, still bewildered.
Duo: Hey man! You gettin' in or not? I'm hungry!
Heero blinked a couple more times then climbed slowly into the limo. The car pulled away from the empty lot and drove off into the sunset.
Quatre: Wasn't it night when we got here?
* * *
The entire cast including Threnody and Amy were gathered in the Room, wearing their formal outfits. The mingled and laughed, drinking Cherry 7- Up and enjoying the end of-I mean success of yet another fic.
Threnody: Thank you dear reader for sticking through till the end. It was an entirely random and crazy ride. I do hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to review about how you loved it or hated it! Oh, and if you're going to MST it, let me know. I'd love to read it. Ja ne!
Everyone blew a big kiss at the Reader. Except Heero, Trowa or WuFei. They were promptly glomped and tickled.