A/N I hold no claims to J.K Rowling's characters, the Spin Doctors song "Two Princes" (yes, I'm parodying a good song this time) or being funny. Thanks to my reviewers and VenusDeOmnipotent, there seems to be quite a few real-life fag hags too. The only gay guy I know has one :D
"A conversation about me, Harry?" Hermione said, giving him a withering look. He shuffled under her gaze.
"Uh yeah, yeah Hermione" he stuttered, aware that the Gryffindor common room had long since stopped their activities to watch their conversation. Ron was standing near them, sulking after Harry had established he wasn't with Seamus, "S-Seamus had dared me to put my hand on your bum while we were dancing…. and, and I was about to when-". He cut off and looked at Ron.
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"You know Harry, if you fancy me, you should just come out and say it," she said, seeing it as a joke.
"Uhh, okay-".
Ron, seeing what was happening (and not wanting to be left out), jumped in front of Hermione.
"Hermione, I fancy you, and I can be honest about it" he grinned, then got down on one knee.
"One two, wizards kneel before you"
He sang, while hitting the back of Harry's knees so he too was kneeling. Everyone groaned at the thought of Ron singing again, and Hermione turned beet red.
"That's what I said now
Wizards, wizards who adore you
Just go ahead now
One has galleons in his pockets
That's some bread now
This one, he wants to buy you rockets
With leprechaun gold now"
It seemed that Ron had rediscovered his "talent" for changing lyrics.
"This one, well he's crossbred
That's what I said now
Got some Big Scar upon his forehead
Was almost dead now
Marry him, Voldemort will headstone you
How bout that now
Marry me, Percy will be groan you
He'll eat his hat now"
Hermione frowned.
"I'm not marrying anyone Ron".
Ron ignored her protests.
"Aww marry him or marry me
I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see?
Ain't got no future in the Ministry
But I know what a wizard lover ought to be
I know what a wizard lover ought to be
Said if you want to call me Ronny
Just go ahead now
An' if you want to touch me fondly
Just go ahead now
If you want to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you want to take a shower
Just go ahead now"
Ron finished on this note. Hermione scowled at him.
"Are you saying I smell? You should bloody hope not if you want to date me. Not that I'd ever touch you anyway Ronny, we just weren't made for each other". She smiled sweetly at him and then flounced away to get a drink.