Phoebe and Cole

The flashlight shook in her hand as Phoebe descended the staircase. She made her way into the chamber and still clenched the rose in her hand. She lay it on her father-in-law's resting place and let out a sob. "I'm sorry," she croaked as she unconsciously pressed the stem beneath her palm into the concrete, "sorry it wasn't enough. Sorry I couldn't give you more time."

"It was more than enough," Cole quietly informed her.

Phoebe gasped and spun around, into Cole. "I'm, I'm sorry," she stammered, "I shouldn't, shouldn't be here."

"It's okay," he told her as he held her upper arms to support her.

"I, I didn't know you were here," she quickly apologized as she tried to move past him.

He looked past her, at the flower, and was surprised to see some spots next to it. "You're hurt," he realized as he dropped his hands to his sides.

Phoebe automatically looked down at her left wrist and quietly said, "No, it's fine." She looked back up at him and added, "Look, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't've disturbed you. I'm sorry," she tearfully said as she finally pushed past him.

"Wait," Cole requested as he reached out and managed to grab her right hand. She froze and he added, "Please."

Phoebe shook her head, "Cole, this isn't --"

"You're bleeding," he interrupted. He gently tugged on her hand and saw her surprise when he showed her some puncture wounds. "Didn't you feel the thorns?" He asked as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket.

"No," she whispered as he gently wrapped her hand, "please..." She tried to stop him but, when she placed her left hand on his hands, she saw his eyes notice her bandaged wrist. She pulled her hand away and told him, "It's nothing. An accident in the kitchen."

He met her gaze and shook his head. "That's how you got the twenty-four hours," he somberly commented.

"A simple spell wouldn't have been enough," she whispered in acknowledgement. "It needed moreI'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked as he reached for her left hand. "You have nothing to apologized for," he told her when she didn't pull it away. "You gave me the most precious gift. Time with my father. I don't know how I can ever thank you." He gently brought her wrist to his lips and kissed it lightly. He looked back at her and wiped away some of her tears. "Phoebe, I need to knowwhy? Why did you do something like that for me? After the last few weeks, after the other day, why would you care enough to do something so generous like that?"

"I never said I stopped caring," Phoebe barely whispered. She tugged her hand. He released it and she took a step back. She cleared her throat and told him, "These last couple of weeks you've acted soI was afraid. I didn't know what else to do."

Cole turned away in embarrassment, "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to show you that -- things got out of hand. I couldn't control it."

"You need help, Cole," Phoebe calmly told him. She walked around him to face him. "I can't help you. I can't give you what you want and you won't listen to what I want. I wasn't sure you would listen to anyone. Except maybe your father."

They stared at one another for a few moments before Phoebe turned to leave. Cole watched as she walked away and he suddenly called out, "He wasn't what I expected, you know."

Surprised, Phoebe turned back around and nervously asked, "What do you mean?" She began walking back to him. "Didn't it go all right? The flowers"

Cole smiled as he met her mid-way, "Were our way of saying thank you. No, what I meant was that he didn't fit the image I'd created in my head. I imagined this pious upstanding statesman who did no wrong except get mixed up with demons and I found out that he's a real man."

"I, uh, know what you mean," Phoebe commented as she recalled the time she first got to know her father when he returned into her life.

"I guess you do," Cole realized. "My father," he laughed, "appreciates a good-looking woman, a good cigar, and a good dirty joke."

"Benjamin?" Phoebe asked in shock.

Cole laughed again and placed his hands on Phoebe's shoulders, "Don't you see, honey, you gave me my father, not some illusion." His expression suddenly changed and he realized, "You're shivering." He looked her over and asked, "Where's your coat?" He didn't wait for an answer and quickly took off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. When she didn't reject his gesture, he continued in a quiet tone, "You gave me time to talk to him. To laugh with him. To argue with him. Hell, to be lectured by him. I've learned that, in spite of his success, he made mistakes in his life. He's felt the deepest love, the deepest pain. He loved my mother, he loved her, Phoebe, still does, too. He's human and he's taught me that it's nothing to be ashamed of."

She hesitantly touched his cheek, "Cole, I --"

He shook his head and interrupted, "He's made me look at everything that's happened in my life. Walked with me through the path that led me here. He still loves me in spite of it all. Hell, he even said he was proud of me. I'm not proud of it all, Phoebe, but he's allowed me to acknowledge what I can be proud of."

"There's so much you should be proud of," Phoebe agreed as she secured his jacket around her. "And I don't just mean when you were helping me or my sisters. Just think about how you moved up the ranks in the Underworld."

Surprised, Cole started, "I don't think that's --"

"I don't mean the evil you actually did," she interrupted with a shake of her head. "I mean that you proved you could overcome your mixed heritage, you worked hard, developed your talents. You were good at what you did. No, the best. Belthazor's reputation wasn't something to be laughed at. People thought so highly of you. I never meant to belittle what you accomplished. I just wanted --"

"Me to be good," Cole finished. "I tried. I'm trying."

"I know," she nodded, "and I'm sorry I can't seem to recognize it more like I should."

"It's okay," he quietly said.

"No," she responded, "it's not okay. I'm hurt and I'm angry and I don't want to take it out on you. I wish I could just twitch my nose and make it all go away. Make it like it used to be for us. But I can't. You were part of it, Cole. Yeah, the Source forced you to do some horrible things but you were part of it. And I haven't found a way to forgive you yet. I lost so much by trusting you. I'm not ready to trust you again. I've told you that."

"We've both lost," he hoarsely agreed, "so much."

Phoebe searched his eyes for a moment before she whispered, "I think about him. I don't want to. I don't want to remember but there are times when I look at Piper and I think about him." The tears began flowing from her eyes and she brought her hand to her mouth, "I don't want to remember anymore. God, it hurts too much."

Cole reached out and pulled her into his arms. As she sobbed, he quietly admitted, "I know how bad it hurts. And I know how painful it is to remember. And I know what it's like to hate me for what I did to him."

"Maybe," she sniffled in his chest, "maybe if I hadn't've pushed you so hard, you wouldn't've been forced to"

"Shhh," he told her as he stroked her hair and tried to calm her, "no more what ifs. No more looking back. No more hiding. No more running. My father made me realize that today as we walked along the Wharf and watched the sunrise."

"What do you mean?" Phoebe asked in a muffled voice.

He gently pushed her back to look in her eyes. He tucked some stray strands of her hair behind her ear and told her, "He reminded me that it's not in my nature to act as impulsively as I've been doing. I've lacked direction for quite some time now and acted on my emotions without dealing with the reality of my situation. My plans were irrational. I hadn't thought anything through before I acted and that's not me. Not how I was trained. You're right. I do need time to think about what's happened and to figure out where I want to go from here. So I've decided to stick around for a while. Clean up my act, get my head together, and move forward."

"Sounds like a good plan," she advised with a sniffle.

"Lesson from my parents," he commented with a half-smile. "It means I'll be sticking around the city," he warned, "and I may run into you or your sisters from time to time."

"I'll try not to take it personally," she quietly teased as she wiped her eyes.

He smiled and stared at her for a moment. He reached out to caress her cheek, "Thank you for giving me another chance."

"Please don't blow it," she quietly warned, "and don't make me regret it." He nodded seriously and she added, "Thank you for giving me time."

"It's not just for you," he honestly told her. "It's for me, tooand, maybe, just maybe, it's for us."

Phoebe reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before she let go. Silently, she took off his jacket and returned it to him. "See you around," she softly said.

"I hope so," he automatically responded. He gave her a sheepish smile, "Sorry, old habits"

But she chuckled good-naturedly. She stared at him a moment and admitted, "My feelings may not change. I need you to know that. Understand that. Time may not change anything for us."

"I know," he nodded. "But, then again, time may be exactly what we need to find a new way back to each other."

Phoebe gazed into his eyes and, for the first time, allowed herself to acknowledge what she saw reflected back at her. "Hope," she whispered.

"Hope," he echoed before he faded from before her.

She stared at the empty space and sighed. She made her way up the stairs and suddenly realized that the heavy weight she'd been carrying for so long was gone. She stood outside in the crisp, cool air and stared at the doorway to the mausoleum. Her problems hadn't suddenly vanished. She knew she still needed to sort things out but, for the first time in ages, she no longer felt that intense pain and pressure. For the first time, she felt ready to face her future. Embrace her future. "Thank you," she whispered to the sky.

"You'll catch pneumonia if you keep standing there," Cole told her.

Phoebe jumped at his voice. "What're you doing here?" she snapped as she strode past him.

"Keeping an eye on you," he told her as he quickly caught up to her. "Not exactly the safest place for a an attractive woman to be alone at night."

"I can take care of myself," she said as she stepped up her pace.

"Oh, I know, sweetie," he replied with a grin, "I trained with you, remember?"

"Is this your idea of space?" she snapped in annoyance as she made her way through the cemetery towards her car.

"I won't stop trying to protect you," he informed her as she rushed the last few yards to her car. "I'll keep my distance but if I feel you're in danger"

Phoebe growled in annoyance as she opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. "Cole," she snapped as she twisted the ignition key and brought the car to life. He peered at her through her window and she ordered, "Don't call me sweetie!" She jammed on the gas pedal and sped away.

Cole grinned as he watched her car turn the corner. "She's crazy bout me," he smiled with a shake of his head as he faded from the cemetery.

"He drives me crazy!" Phoebe shouted to no one in particular as she turned the corner. "He's crazy," she muttered. "I'm crazy," she quickly realized. "I'm crazy about him," she told herself in a calmer voice. She concentrated on the road before her and softly said, "Maybe we will find that way." Suddenly she shouted, "Paige! Paige!"

"What?" Paige's disembodied voice asked as she orbed into the passenger seat. "What's wrong?"

Phoebe grinned, "You still want that pizza? I am starving."

"You give me a heart attack," Paige complained, "because you want some food? What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong," Phoebe quickly said with a smile. "Just thought you might still be hungry. Unless you ate on your own."

"No," Paige answered in a suspicious tone. "Okay, what happened to my moping depressed sister that left the house about an hour ago?"

"She's feeling much better," Phoebe grinned. "Come on, I want to celebrate."

"What are we celebrating?" Paige asked warily.

"The future," Phoebe declared. "A bright, wonderful, happy future."

"All right," Paige stated, "now I know you're a demon. What have you done with Phoebe?"

Phoebe laughed. "I helped some people today, Paige," she explained. "I still have issues of my own to deal with but, for a little while, can't I just be happy about that?"

Paige's expression softened and she patted her sister's arm, "Of course you can. Soto the future it is."

"And all the hope it may bring," Phoebe softly added as she turned on the radio.

the end