Ji-na's eyes snapped open. Sunlight poured into her room. Memories from
last night came flooding into her brain.
Who is Kouran, anyway? Ji-na thought as she sat up in bed. Her head felt heavy, like it was filled with stones. She closed her eyes and lay back down.
There was a knock at her door.
"Come in," Ji-na said. Chichiri came in with a tray of food.
"Hello no da," he said.
"Hi," Ji-na responded. She looked at the tray of food. "Did I miss breakfast?"
"Lunch, actually no da." He put the tray of food on her bed and sat down, on the bed, facing her. Ji-na started to eat her food. The room filled with an awkward silence while she ate.
"Chichiri, who's Kouran?" Ji-na asked, trying to break the silence. Chichiri took off his mask.
"See this scar?" he asked, pointing to the scar that closed his left eye. Ji-na nodded. "It was partly because of Kouran that I got it."
"So, was Kouran a soldier, or a bandit, or something like that?" Chichiri laughed.
"Hardly," he said. "She was my fiancée."
Ji-na's eyes widened as she ate her rice.
"How could she do that to you?"
"She didn't do it exactly, but it was through her doing that I got it." Chichiri's eye sparkled with unshed tears as he unfolded his story.
"When I was younger, I was engaged to a woman named Kouran. I was so in love with her. She was beautiful, nice, smart, every guy's dream. It was on the day flood season started that everything happened. I went around looking for her, and found her kissing my best friend, whose name was Hikou. I don't quite remember how, but I started to fight him. It was raining then. The river that flowed through my town had swelled over its banks. Somehow, while Hikou and I were fighting, we had gone down to the banks
of the river. I don't quite remember how, but Kouran got swept away by the river. Hikou fell in and almost drowned, but I grabbed his hand, my anger forgotten. I held tight, until a log came floating towards me and hit me in the eye. I let go of Hikou's hand. The log left a wound on my eye, and I never let it heal as a remembrance to that day. That's how I got this scar." Tears leaked out of Chichiri's good eye. "I was afraid that the scar on my eye might frighten people, so I wear a mask..." Chichiri gulped as he tried to keep his voice from cracking. "That always smiles." Chichiri started to cry.
Ji-na sat there, not knowing what to do. She felt awkward seeing Chichiri cry, considering the fact that he was older than she was. She put her arms on his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. She didn't really know why she did it, but she felt that he just needed one.
"I'm sorry," she said. She wanted to say something else, but she didn't quite know what else to say.
Chichiri seemed to have snapped out of a daze. He returned her hug.
"Thank you," he said. "I needed that." He wiped away his tears, and put his mask on.
"No, please don't put on your mask," Ji-na said quickly. Chichiri looked at her.
"Why?" he asked.
Oh, great, she thought. Now what am I gonna say? 'Because I think you look cute without it'?
"Because you seem more...normal...without it," she said. "With your mask you seem...not quite...real. It makes me feel sort of uncomfortable when I see you with the mask. You know...it's...weird."
"Maybe," he said, putting his mask back on. "But I feel vulnerable without it, like everyone's staring at me no da. It makes me feel uncomfortable no da."
"Why do you do that?"
"What no da?"
"That. The 'no da' after every sentence."
Chichiri shrugged.
"I'm not really sure no da. It just sort of comes when I put on my mask no da."
Hotohori opened the door and stuck his head in the room.
"Good afternoon Ji-na," he said, going over and sitting down on her bed. He was wearing his royal robe and crown. Ji-na always wondered how he could fit all that hair into that little box-like crown on top of his head.
"Hey, Saihitei," Ji-na responded. "What's up?" Hotohori suddenly seemed to find the sleeve of his robe interesting.
"Well, it's sort of...personal..." Hotohori gave Chichiri a sideways glance.
"I understand," Chichiri said. "You're kicking me out no da. I'll leave now." He got up and left.
"Ji-na, there are a few things I want to tell you."
"Like..." she said, fearing the worst.
"First of all, I would like you to call me Hotohori instead of Saihitei. I'm more comfortable with that name. Second of all, do you know why you're here?"
"Because I'm your cousin?"
"More specifically." Ji-na cocked her head, wondering what Hotohori was trying to make her understand.
"Because you want to spend some more time with your family members?" Hotohori buried his face in his hands.
"You don't know?"
"Don't know what?"
"I wish they had told you."
"Don't know what?"
"I don't think I can bring myself to tell you."
"DON'T KNOW WHAT?!?!?!?!"
"Alright, alright," Hotohori took a deep breath. "The reason I asked you to come here is...well...you know how sometimes when it comes to royalty, it's traditional to marry your cousin to keep the royal bloodline going?"
He did not just say that, Ji-na thought to herself. My cousin did not just propose to me. A feeling of terrible, overwhelming panic started to flow through her.
"Ji-na," Hotohori said quietly. "I know this is coming as a terrible shock to you. It came as a shock to me, too, but we must do as the elders say."
Oh, Suzaku, Ji-na thought. I think I'm going to cry. I think I'm going to scream.
~*~
Chichiri stopped in his tracks as a terrible, high-pitched scream filled the corridors.
I wonder what that was no da, he thought. I hope nothing bad has happened.
There was another scream, followed by sobs coming from Ji-na's room. Chichiri quickly went back to her room.
Before he opened the door, he heard voices and stopped to listen.
"Sick! Perverted! Freak!" Ji-na yelled through sobs. There were a series of soft fwumps following. Chichiri figured that Ji-na must be hitting someone or something with her pillow.
"Stop it!" Hotohori cried. "It's not my idea!"
"But I can't marry you!"
"Why not?"
"Because you're eighteen! That's a five year difference! And anyway, I don't want to marry you!"
"But weather you want to or not isn't your choice. It's the elders'."
"I don't care! I don't love you like that! I love someone else," she added quietly.
"Who?"
"Chichiri." Chichiri felt numb. No one had said something like that about him since the days when Kouran and Hikou were still alive.
"I don't believe you!" Hotohori screamed. "You're in love with Chichiri and you complain about me being too old?!"
"Well, he's at most seventeen, isn't he?"
"What are you talking about? He's twenty-four!"
"Twenty-four...? That's an eleven year difference..." Chichiri did some quick figuring in his head.
An eleven year difference, he thought. That makes her thirteen no da! And I thought she was at least sixteen... But before he could get any further, his thoughts were interrupted by more arguing.
"Look, just get out of my room."
"Your room?"
"Yeah, my room."
"In my palace?"
"Fine," Ji-na said angrily as she opened the door and walked straight into Chichiri.
"Ji-na no da!" Chichiri exclaimed at loss for words.
"Chichiri!" Hotohori said as he came out of the room. "What are you doing here?"
"I heard Ji-na scream and I came to see what was wrong, but before I opened the door, I heard arguing and stopped to listen no da."
"So you heard everything we said?" Ji-na asked, her tear stained face turning pink. Chichiri nodded. "I want to go home," she whimpered.
"Ji-na," Hotohori said quietly as he touched her hair. "Don't go just because Chichiri heard us arguing." Ji-na lashed out at him.
"It's not because of Chichiri!" she screamed. "It's because of you." She pointed her finger threateningly at Hotohori. "When you proposed to me, I felt attacked. I still do. You're not the cousin I know anymore. You're a stranger." She turned on her heel and left, with Hotohori and Chichiri staring at her retreating figure.
~*~
He's not my cousin, he's not my cousin, Ji-na thought with each footstep that fell as she walked through the courtyard. Unfortunately, she didn't see where she was going and tripped.
"I - I'm sorry, Ji-na," someone said as they helped her up. She looked up and found herself staring into Tamahome's eyes.
"No, it's my fault," she responded. "I didn't see where I was going."
"What's the matter, Ji-na?" asked Miaka who was sitting nearby. "You look troubled."
"I don't want to talk about it right now," Ji-na said.
"Well come sit with us anyway. We can talk about whatever you like." Ji- na sat down across from Miaka. Tamahome sat down next to Miaka and put his arm around her shoulders.
They look so happy together, Ji-na thought. I wish it was like that for me and Chichiri. But he's eleven years older than me, and a monk. Also, Hotohori wants to marry me, so I don't think I'll ever get the chance to actually tell Chichiri face-to-face how I feel. It's hard to be a princess sometimes.
"Thinking about Chichiri?" Miaka asked Ji-na.
"What about Chichiri?" Tamahome asked.
"Nothing," Ji-na said before Miaka opened her mouth.
"There you are, Ji-na!" Ji-na turned around and saw Hotohori coming towards her. She could feel anger burning up inside her.
"Hi, Hotohori," Miaka said with a smile.
"You know, Ji-na," Hotohori said, ignoring Miaka. "You can't ignore the elder's wishes. You have to do what they say."
"What happened to you?" Ji-na asked angrily. "You're not the cousin I know anymore. Last time I saw you, if you were told that you had to marry me, you would have freaked out. But you seemed so calm, like that was the normal thing to do. I will not tolerate this this anymore. I'm going home first thing tomorrow, even if I have to walk all the way there." Ji-na picked herself up, and walked to her room to start packing.
A/N: Special thanks to gloriaklompen who is nice
enough to upload my story because i can't. She
was also my only reviewer for the last chapter as
of 10-2-02, and I'm pretty pissed about that,
because this is my first fy fanfic, and I want to
know what people think about it! (I know "Fancy"
was uploaded first, but I started working on this
one earlier. That reminds me, I didn't get any
reviews for "Fancy" as of 10-2-02, and I'm pretty
pissed about that, too because it's my first
songfic, and I want to know what people think
about it.) ANYWHO, I think I should stop talking
now.
Who is Kouran, anyway? Ji-na thought as she sat up in bed. Her head felt heavy, like it was filled with stones. She closed her eyes and lay back down.
There was a knock at her door.
"Come in," Ji-na said. Chichiri came in with a tray of food.
"Hello no da," he said.
"Hi," Ji-na responded. She looked at the tray of food. "Did I miss breakfast?"
"Lunch, actually no da." He put the tray of food on her bed and sat down, on the bed, facing her. Ji-na started to eat her food. The room filled with an awkward silence while she ate.
"Chichiri, who's Kouran?" Ji-na asked, trying to break the silence. Chichiri took off his mask.
"See this scar?" he asked, pointing to the scar that closed his left eye. Ji-na nodded. "It was partly because of Kouran that I got it."
"So, was Kouran a soldier, or a bandit, or something like that?" Chichiri laughed.
"Hardly," he said. "She was my fiancée."
Ji-na's eyes widened as she ate her rice.
"How could she do that to you?"
"She didn't do it exactly, but it was through her doing that I got it." Chichiri's eye sparkled with unshed tears as he unfolded his story.
"When I was younger, I was engaged to a woman named Kouran. I was so in love with her. She was beautiful, nice, smart, every guy's dream. It was on the day flood season started that everything happened. I went around looking for her, and found her kissing my best friend, whose name was Hikou. I don't quite remember how, but I started to fight him. It was raining then. The river that flowed through my town had swelled over its banks. Somehow, while Hikou and I were fighting, we had gone down to the banks
of the river. I don't quite remember how, but Kouran got swept away by the river. Hikou fell in and almost drowned, but I grabbed his hand, my anger forgotten. I held tight, until a log came floating towards me and hit me in the eye. I let go of Hikou's hand. The log left a wound on my eye, and I never let it heal as a remembrance to that day. That's how I got this scar." Tears leaked out of Chichiri's good eye. "I was afraid that the scar on my eye might frighten people, so I wear a mask..." Chichiri gulped as he tried to keep his voice from cracking. "That always smiles." Chichiri started to cry.
Ji-na sat there, not knowing what to do. She felt awkward seeing Chichiri cry, considering the fact that he was older than she was. She put her arms on his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. She didn't really know why she did it, but she felt that he just needed one.
"I'm sorry," she said. She wanted to say something else, but she didn't quite know what else to say.
Chichiri seemed to have snapped out of a daze. He returned her hug.
"Thank you," he said. "I needed that." He wiped away his tears, and put his mask on.
"No, please don't put on your mask," Ji-na said quickly. Chichiri looked at her.
"Why?" he asked.
Oh, great, she thought. Now what am I gonna say? 'Because I think you look cute without it'?
"Because you seem more...normal...without it," she said. "With your mask you seem...not quite...real. It makes me feel sort of uncomfortable when I see you with the mask. You know...it's...weird."
"Maybe," he said, putting his mask back on. "But I feel vulnerable without it, like everyone's staring at me no da. It makes me feel uncomfortable no da."
"Why do you do that?"
"What no da?"
"That. The 'no da' after every sentence."
Chichiri shrugged.
"I'm not really sure no da. It just sort of comes when I put on my mask no da."
Hotohori opened the door and stuck his head in the room.
"Good afternoon Ji-na," he said, going over and sitting down on her bed. He was wearing his royal robe and crown. Ji-na always wondered how he could fit all that hair into that little box-like crown on top of his head.
"Hey, Saihitei," Ji-na responded. "What's up?" Hotohori suddenly seemed to find the sleeve of his robe interesting.
"Well, it's sort of...personal..." Hotohori gave Chichiri a sideways glance.
"I understand," Chichiri said. "You're kicking me out no da. I'll leave now." He got up and left.
"Ji-na, there are a few things I want to tell you."
"Like..." she said, fearing the worst.
"First of all, I would like you to call me Hotohori instead of Saihitei. I'm more comfortable with that name. Second of all, do you know why you're here?"
"Because I'm your cousin?"
"More specifically." Ji-na cocked her head, wondering what Hotohori was trying to make her understand.
"Because you want to spend some more time with your family members?" Hotohori buried his face in his hands.
"You don't know?"
"Don't know what?"
"I wish they had told you."
"Don't know what?"
"I don't think I can bring myself to tell you."
"DON'T KNOW WHAT?!?!?!?!"
"Alright, alright," Hotohori took a deep breath. "The reason I asked you to come here is...well...you know how sometimes when it comes to royalty, it's traditional to marry your cousin to keep the royal bloodline going?"
He did not just say that, Ji-na thought to herself. My cousin did not just propose to me. A feeling of terrible, overwhelming panic started to flow through her.
"Ji-na," Hotohori said quietly. "I know this is coming as a terrible shock to you. It came as a shock to me, too, but we must do as the elders say."
Oh, Suzaku, Ji-na thought. I think I'm going to cry. I think I'm going to scream.
~*~
Chichiri stopped in his tracks as a terrible, high-pitched scream filled the corridors.
I wonder what that was no da, he thought. I hope nothing bad has happened.
There was another scream, followed by sobs coming from Ji-na's room. Chichiri quickly went back to her room.
Before he opened the door, he heard voices and stopped to listen.
"Sick! Perverted! Freak!" Ji-na yelled through sobs. There were a series of soft fwumps following. Chichiri figured that Ji-na must be hitting someone or something with her pillow.
"Stop it!" Hotohori cried. "It's not my idea!"
"But I can't marry you!"
"Why not?"
"Because you're eighteen! That's a five year difference! And anyway, I don't want to marry you!"
"But weather you want to or not isn't your choice. It's the elders'."
"I don't care! I don't love you like that! I love someone else," she added quietly.
"Who?"
"Chichiri." Chichiri felt numb. No one had said something like that about him since the days when Kouran and Hikou were still alive.
"I don't believe you!" Hotohori screamed. "You're in love with Chichiri and you complain about me being too old?!"
"Well, he's at most seventeen, isn't he?"
"What are you talking about? He's twenty-four!"
"Twenty-four...? That's an eleven year difference..." Chichiri did some quick figuring in his head.
An eleven year difference, he thought. That makes her thirteen no da! And I thought she was at least sixteen... But before he could get any further, his thoughts were interrupted by more arguing.
"Look, just get out of my room."
"Your room?"
"Yeah, my room."
"In my palace?"
"Fine," Ji-na said angrily as she opened the door and walked straight into Chichiri.
"Ji-na no da!" Chichiri exclaimed at loss for words.
"Chichiri!" Hotohori said as he came out of the room. "What are you doing here?"
"I heard Ji-na scream and I came to see what was wrong, but before I opened the door, I heard arguing and stopped to listen no da."
"So you heard everything we said?" Ji-na asked, her tear stained face turning pink. Chichiri nodded. "I want to go home," she whimpered.
"Ji-na," Hotohori said quietly as he touched her hair. "Don't go just because Chichiri heard us arguing." Ji-na lashed out at him.
"It's not because of Chichiri!" she screamed. "It's because of you." She pointed her finger threateningly at Hotohori. "When you proposed to me, I felt attacked. I still do. You're not the cousin I know anymore. You're a stranger." She turned on her heel and left, with Hotohori and Chichiri staring at her retreating figure.
~*~
He's not my cousin, he's not my cousin, Ji-na thought with each footstep that fell as she walked through the courtyard. Unfortunately, she didn't see where she was going and tripped.
"I - I'm sorry, Ji-na," someone said as they helped her up. She looked up and found herself staring into Tamahome's eyes.
"No, it's my fault," she responded. "I didn't see where I was going."
"What's the matter, Ji-na?" asked Miaka who was sitting nearby. "You look troubled."
"I don't want to talk about it right now," Ji-na said.
"Well come sit with us anyway. We can talk about whatever you like." Ji- na sat down across from Miaka. Tamahome sat down next to Miaka and put his arm around her shoulders.
They look so happy together, Ji-na thought. I wish it was like that for me and Chichiri. But he's eleven years older than me, and a monk. Also, Hotohori wants to marry me, so I don't think I'll ever get the chance to actually tell Chichiri face-to-face how I feel. It's hard to be a princess sometimes.
"Thinking about Chichiri?" Miaka asked Ji-na.
"What about Chichiri?" Tamahome asked.
"Nothing," Ji-na said before Miaka opened her mouth.
"There you are, Ji-na!" Ji-na turned around and saw Hotohori coming towards her. She could feel anger burning up inside her.
"Hi, Hotohori," Miaka said with a smile.
"You know, Ji-na," Hotohori said, ignoring Miaka. "You can't ignore the elder's wishes. You have to do what they say."
"What happened to you?" Ji-na asked angrily. "You're not the cousin I know anymore. Last time I saw you, if you were told that you had to marry me, you would have freaked out. But you seemed so calm, like that was the normal thing to do. I will not tolerate this this anymore. I'm going home first thing tomorrow, even if I have to walk all the way there." Ji-na picked herself up, and walked to her room to start packing.
A/N: Special thanks to gloriaklompen who is nice
enough to upload my story because i can't. She
was also my only reviewer for the last chapter as
of 10-2-02, and I'm pretty pissed about that,
because this is my first fy fanfic, and I want to
know what people think about it! (I know "Fancy"
was uploaded first, but I started working on this
one earlier. That reminds me, I didn't get any
reviews for "Fancy" as of 10-2-02, and I'm pretty
pissed about that, too because it's my first
songfic, and I want to know what people think
about it.) ANYWHO, I think I should stop talking
now.