Full Circle

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Her head exploded, and she swung at her alarm clock, sending it crashing to the floor. She lay on her stomach in bed, perfectly still, hoping that if she didn't move maybe she would just die. When it didn't happen she decided she might as well attempt to get up. She eased herself slowly into a sitting position, running a shaky hand over her face. She tried to remember the night before. Was she dreaming, or had he put her into bed? She thought a little harder, wincing slightly. Yes, she remembered now. The drinks, stumbling into the warehouse, being sick, him driving her home. Oh lord, she thought, he must think I'm a complete idiot. She desperately hoped she hadn't said anything to him about her mission. As she eased herself out of bed, she glanced down and was surprised to see she was wearing his shirt. She smiled, he must have put it on her. She turned on the shower, her eyes bugging out slightly in pain at the sound, and looked at herself in the mirror. God she looked horrible, and she had to meet him later. This was going to be the longest day of her life.

Francie was already in the kitchen when Sydney entered, wearing sunglasses. "Coffee. Please." She sat down gently at the counter.

"Wellllll. Look at you!" Francie grinned, handing her a mug. "Go out dancing with coworkers?"

"Hardly." She took a sip of coffee. "I drank tequila, and an entire bottle of red wine. Alone. After lunch with my father. We really don't have much success in that department." Things had actually been getting much better with her father, but Francie didn't know that, and he was a good excuse in this case.

Francie sat down next to her. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. It was just the usual. Talking about everything but anything. You know?"

"Aw, Syd, I'm sorry." She was silent a moment, then "today's Friday, now I have a date, but I could cancel, and we could go out…"

Sydney glanced at her over the top of the glasses.

"Or not. You know, we could stay in, rent a movie, have an alcohol free girls night. Wadda ya say?"

"Thank you Fran, but I'm fine. You have a good time." She paused, avoiding Francie's eyes "Actually, I'm going out to dinner with some people from work tonight."

"Realllly? People from work? Is HE going to be there?"

"I have no idea what your talking about." Sydney stood up, trying to hide her smile, and moved towards the door.

Francie was laughing and called after her "so I shouldn't wait up than?"

"Good bye Francie." The door slammed shut, leaving Francie laughing in the kitchen.

***

Her father was waiting for her as she entered SD-6. "Morning" she said, trying hard not to sound like crap.

"Sydney, we need to talk." Lightly grasping her elbow he guided her gently towards his office. As soon as the door was shut, he pulled out a signal disrupter. "I talked with Agent Vaughn this morning. He told me about your … encounter last night."

She rested her head in her palm, shaking it slightly. "Listen Dad, I DON'T want to talk about this. I was going to have one drink, then, well… I had more then one. Just drop it okay?"

He ignored her. "Did you tell him anything? About why you were upset?"

"I don't think so" she said quickly "why, did he say anything to you?"

"No. He just sounded nervous. I suppose he's confused as to why you two are meeting so openly tonight. He was kept asking if you were all right."

"Oh." She felt so bad for him. He must be worried sick. She went to him, obviously very upset last night, and now he was told to meet her for dinner. "What time am I meeting him?"

"Six o'clock, at Uncle Louie's.

"Uncle Louie's?" She rolled her eyes. "Dad, we ate there yesterday, plus I made a fool of myself after you left. Why do you like that place so much?" She thought she saw him smile, but then it was gone.

"Have you made up your mind, what you're going to say?"

"I guess. But I have no idea what he' s going to say. This is killing me." She felt nauseous, and pressed her palms to her burning cheeks.

"I know how difficult this must be. I'm sorry your life turned out this way. I wanted so much better for you."

Sydney was stunned. Where was this coming from? "It's not your fault Dad" she blinked back tears "you didn't bring me into this. You know, until now there was nothing I could do but live this crazy, horrible life. So that's what I did. I tried really hard not to think about it, to worry too much about changing it. But I did think about it. Thought about what I would do, if I could. And now I have the opportunity to actually DO something, to change EVERYTHING, and it terrifies me. Because when I thought about it, it was all in perfect, romantic, general terms. I never thought about it involving any risk." She felt a little hysterical, and realized she was shaking. "Does that make any sense?"

"Yes, I totally…" the signal disrupter beeped then, signaling their time was up.

She sighed "I'll call you later Dad." She turned to leave, but Jack caught her arm.

"Good luck" was all he could say.

She hugged him, quickly, then headed out into the office, her head a million miles away.

***

It was not hot in the restaurant, be he felt suffocated. He wiped his palms on his pant, and ran a hand through his hair for the thousandth time that night. He glanced at his watch. Six eleven, where was she? All he could thinks about was that this could be the last time he saw her. If she got a new handler, he would most likely be sent back to his old desk job. Man, he thought, you really screwed this up. He saw her then, entering the restaurant from across the room. She was wearing a tiny, very low cut red dress. What little breath he had left was suddenly gone, and he stood shakily at the maitre d' lead her towards him. Women only wore dresses like that to deliver really good news, or really bad news. She stopped in front o f him, and said nothing, simply gazed into his eyes. He thought he saw a flash of pain, but then her eyes were smiling again.

"Wow" he managed to whisper after a moment "you're beautiful." She blushed slightly, but didn't look away. He leaned in to kiss her cheek, but remembered where they were. "Are we…okay to do this?"

She smiled. "We're okay."

He quickly kissed her, then waited as she sat before he followed suit. "Syd, just tell me, what's going on? I'm going out of my mind."

"I know, but first I want to explain about last night."

"You don't have to explain."

"I know, but I just wanted to tell you I'm not usually like that." She smiled a little ruefully "at least not in front of people other than Francie and Will." She hid her face behind her hands "I'm so embarrassed."

He reached out and gently removed her hands, holding them both in his. "Don't be. This is me. You don't have to act so strong all the time."

"Thank you." She glanced down at the table before adding nervously "so, did I say anything to stupid?"

"No." He grinned. "Actually, you were pretty cute."

"Cute? I was throwing up!" The waiter came back then, bringing them menus and taking drink orders.

Vaughn scanned the drink list. "Do you want wine?" he asked, glancing up. She rolled her eyes and he laughed. Turning to the waiter he said "okay, I'll just have a beer."

"And I'll have this strawberry thing." She pointed "there's no alcohol in that, right?"

"No alcohol ma'am."

"Excellent." The waiter left, and they continued to study the menu.

"So, what do you want?" he asked her after a moment.

"I'm getting the lobster. You should too. SD-6 is paying for this whole thing."

"SD-6?!" he almost shouted, and she gave him a sharp glance. "What the hell is this all about?" he asked, more quietly. "I thought you were going to tell me your dad changed his mind about you getting a new handler."

"No, actually, there's something I really need to talk to you…" the waiter returned then, silencing her.

Vaughn practically threw the menus at him, and ordered quickly. "We'll both have the soup, and the lobster."

"All right Sir, it won't be very long."

He left, and she began again. "A few days ago Sloane told my father he needed someone from SD-6 to get intel from the CIA, to see what they know, what their action plan is regarding SD-6."

"Is your cover blown?" His mind reeled. "Syd, we've got to get you out of…"

"Vaughn!" she said sharply, then her tone softened "Michael, that's not it. Just listen, let me finish before you say anything."

"All right, I'm sorry, go on." He rubbed his hand over his eyes.

"Sloane wants someone to get close to someone from the CIA and steal secrets, tap phones, whatever. Obviously this is not good for us, me, my father. So, the CIA, my father really, suggested I should be the one to do it."

"You?" He didn't understand.

"It makes sense. I can give all kinds of fabricated info to Sloane, and it will help us take them down quicker."

"This is absolutely ridiculous! It's so dangerous! I don't even know where to begin with this…" He was having a little trouble breathing.

She took his hand and squeezed it. "I know that, but I also know I have to do this. I have no choice."

She stopped talking and sat, digesting this. 'Get close' what did that mean? He asked her.

"I'd have to…" she cleared her throat and avoided his eyes "date them, maybe for a long time. Build a life with them, maybe even have a family one day." She looked up, and even though what she had just dropped on him wasn't funny at all, she nearly laughed out loud. The expression on his face was priceless.

"Oh, my God! Sydney… what… I don't…" He couldn't even begin to comprehend what he was hearing. He felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. This made things two hundred per cent worse for them. No wonder she had been drinking last night. He took a large gulp of his beer. "You're actually doing this?" he managed to ask.

"Yes." She said reluctantly, nodding. "I have to. It's less dangerous for me than for any other innocent SD-6 agent. I'm already living a huge lie anyway."

"Yeah, I know, but for you… and me… I just can't believe things could actually get any harder for us." Now he understood the Bad News Dress. The waiter returned again with their food, and they fell silent. It seemed like forever until they were alone again. "So, who are they setting you up with for the rest of your life?" he asked bitterly.

She looked down at her bowl, and swirled the soup with the spoon. "Actually, that's the reason you're here. I need to talk to you about that." She looked into his eyes, and he saw fear reflected there.

"Talk to me? They're not making me pick somebody are they? Because, Sydney, I don't think…"

"No. My father is the one who'll be choosing."

He was thoroughly confused. What did this have to do with him? "So, what than?"

She leaned back in her chair. "You know, you work for the CIA." She eyed him, searching for something. Understanding, maybe.

"Yes, I realize this." What was she getting at?

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Don't you get it? My father knows about us. I didn't tell him anything, but he knows. When he told me about this mission, I obviously suggested you. He thinks it's a bad idea, but he's letting us make the decision."

He was dumb struck. Sydney's new mission could be to go out with him, maybe marry him? His heart swelled with joy, but when he grinned down at her she wasn't smiling.

"What's wrong? You're telling me you dad would actually let me be the guy, let me do this, and you're not happy?"

She took a shaky breath. "There is nothing I would love more than to do this with you." She intertwined her fingers with his. "But it could be so hard for us. We wouldn't be in control of our lives…"

As she listed off all the potential problems they could face his heart sank. She was going to tell him it wasn't worth the risk, and he was going to loose her forever. "So that's it?" he interrupted her in mid sentence. "You're just giving up on us? Our one real chance to be together, and you're telling me it's not worth it?"

A look of slight confusion, delight and surprise played across her face. "You'd be willing to do this? I thought you would think it was too dangerous."

"Are you kidding me?" He wanted to laugh and throw up and lie down. "Of course I want to do it. I love you and I want to be with you."

"You love me?" she asked softly, her eyes lighting up.

"I love you more than life it self." He had wanted to tell her that for so long, and couldn't have imagined it any better.

"I love you Michael, I love you so much." Her eyes filled with tears.

He leaned across the table and kissed her, and she kissed him back. They broke apart, and she leaned back, laughing and crying at the same time. "Are we really going to do this?" she asked earnestly. "Are you sure? I don't want you to do this just because I want it so much, and than regret it later."

"I have never been so sure about anything in my whole life" he answered. "This could be incredibly hard, but we'll get through it. And we might even take down SD-6 before we even have to think about doing something we don't want to." He was elated, and unbelievably glad to see she was too.

She beamed at him. "Thank you. Thank you for loving me this much. I was so afraid you would say no. That's why I was so upset yesterday."

"I'm sorry you were so worried. You had me terrified though. I was so sure I was being fired, that you dad had found out about us." He laughed "you can't imagine how surprised I was to see you stumble into that warehouse."

"Don't remind me! Listen, I know we covered this, but I want to thank you for bringing me home. You didn't have to do that, take care of me, and I really appreciate it."

"It was nice taking care of you, for once, in a situation that wasn't life threatening." He smiled. "I guess I can do that more often now."

"I hope so," she said softly. "Maybe I'll even get to take care of you."

"Hey, so when do we start this whole thing? Do I have to talk to the CIA, or what?" Being with her was so nice; he didn't want to have to wait to do it again.

"Actually, we've already started. We have strategy meetings tomorrow, but tonight is technically our first date, I guess." She gave him a flirtatious look.

"Seriously?" He looked ready to burst, and she smiled. "Ya know what…" he asked, turning and calling "waiter…" he turned back to her "I'm ordering us champagne."

She grinned at him "you want me to think you're being very romantic, but I know you're really trying to get me liquored up again."

"Me? Never!" he scoffed "why would I do that?"

"You're hoping I'll come home with you on the first date" she said matter-of-factly.

"Ouch! That hurt." He tried his best to look angry, but he just couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He was on a real date with Sydney Bristow. "Well" he whispered, rolling his eyes and leaning towards her "that may be true."

She kissed his hand as it found hers. "I guess I'd better get drinking than." As if on cue, the waiter returned with their wine. Vaughn poured them each a glass.

"I'd like to propose a toast" he said happily, raising his glass "to taking chances, and knowing it will all work out in the end."

"To taking chances," she said softly. They each took a sip of champagne, and she settled back into her chair, crossing her legs. "So, Michael, you said you last name was Vaughn, right? Is that French?

"What?" She knew it was.

"This is our first date. We're supposed to be finding things out about each other."

"Ahhh," he said, catching on. If she wanted to play, that was fine by him. "Yeah, it's French. Actually, I was born in France…"

They continued back and forth like this for the remainder of dinner, giddily telling each other things they already knew, and many things they didn't, with huge smiles on their faces.

"I'm leaving an one hundred per cent tip' she giggled as she paid the bill. "Sd-6 will never notice, but it makes me feel good anyway."

"You make me feel good." He was sure someone could have shot him right then, and he wouldn't have notice. She signed the bill quickly, and stood up. He followed her, and put his arm around her waist as they exited the restaurant.

"You know, I was honestly going to send you home alone tonight, seeing as it is our first time meeting and all." He glanced down at her, mildly alarmed. She continued "but when you make comments like that, how's a girl to resist?"

"I think we've waited long enough," he said, pulling her closer.

"Oh yeah?" she poked him in the ribs "I got that impression from the footsies. You'd better be glad this wasn't a real first date, or I would have had to beat you up."

"So" he said pausing on the sidewalk to kiss her forehead "your place or mine?" He couldn't believe this was really happening.

"Mmmm, yours. Francie will probably be home; I'll call her and tell her I'm going on a business trip. She'll never believe me, but I can tell her about you in a few days. Plus" she added smugly "I want to see your bedroom."

He opened the passenger door of his car for her. "You can see it any time you want."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

He breathed deeply as he walked around to the driver's side. He knew they were taking a big risk with this, but for some reason it didn't scare him. Maybe that was the real mistake. But he didn't care. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't make this bad.

She sighed contentedly as he sat down beside her. "I love you Michael Vaughn."

'I love you Sydney. So much." They gazed at each other. The future may be uncertain, but tonight was not. He turned and started the car. "Let's get this show on the road."

The End