Ice Melts
Jack opened the door to his apartment and quietly walked in. He carelessly dropped his coat over the arm of the sofa and proceeded to loosen his tie. After his tie joined his jacket on top of his coat, he walked over to his small bar. He flicked on a small table lamp merely so he wouldn't spill any of the liquor he was about to pour. The light annoyed him, but spilling any scotch would have annoyed him more. The two ice cubes made a loud clink as they hit the empty glass and crackled slightly as he poured the golden liquor over top of them. He would have shut the light again, but he wasn't a dramatic person. He wanted the light to annoy him. He knew better than anyone that he did not deserve the forgiveness of the dark. He walked over to his loveseat and shook his head at the irony of the name as he sat down.
He swirled the glass around causing the ice to circle the inside of the glass, cooling the liquid evenly. As he watched the ice melt he let himself feel the weariness of the last few weeks. Though he and his daughter had made some kind of peace, especially working together to find a cure for Vaughn's illness, he still felt this big gaping hole in his heart as he thought back to her accusing words. She had thought that she was the embodiment of all his mistakes. His heart clenched as he thought back to that plane ride. The truth of the matter was that he loved her more anything in the world. But he seemed to have a nasty habit of hurting those he cared for.
He had caused his friends to abandon him. Devlin had been his friend once, but now he wouldn't even talk to him unless absolutely necessary. He actually thought that Devlin might despise him. Or maybe that was too harsh, maybe he was only really disappointed. Either way he had no one to share this drink with, so he gulped it down in one swing.
Then there was Vaughn. He got up and decided to pour himself another drink. Swirling his new drink in his hand he contemplated his daughter's handler. Who am I kidding? He thought savagely. As much as he tried to dislike him for his meddling and the few mistakes he made, the truth of the matter was, and that is what tonight is about isn't it? He respected Vaughn. Vaughn had proven his integrity over and over. He isn't sacred of me thought Jack, surprised that it should matter but it did. And he knew how to handle Sydney and for that Jack was a little bit jealous. Overall, Jack had to admit that he could have liked Vaughn, if he'd let himself. But instead I belittle him on a regular basis, I try to undermine his authority with my daughter and generally give him no reason to like me at all. And maybe that's what bothered him the most about Vaughn. Jack could like him as a person if he didn't represent all the things that Jack wasn't but wished he was. And for that thought, Jack was ashamed.
Taking down SD-6 is what gets her up in the morning, or did you think it was the meetings she has with you?
You do good work, Agent Vaughn. But your consistent shortcoming - you should know this - is your naive sense of morality
Jack shook his head to clear it of these thoughts and poured himself another drink. Unfortunately, following the laws of nature, new thoughts diffused into the vacuum created in his head. These thoughts were of his daughter and his ex-wife. The two were intertwined in a jumbled mess in his head. Yes, he had loved Laura, more than he had ever thought possible, until Sydney had been born. And then he had learned to love even more. Sydney was his joy, his redemption. She was his everything and somehow he had managed to take all his love and turn it into a knife that he repeatedly thrust into his daughter's heart.
Don't you ever speak to me again.
Every time I think I know just how awful you are, I learn something worse.
I will never forgive you for this.
He didn't know where the lines had become blurred. He didn't know why every time he did something to help his daughter, that he only succeeded in hurting her instead. Why did every decision he made with concern for her, drive her farther from him? He had always trusted himself. He had always known, without a shred of doubt that what he was doing was the best for her. Until now. For the first time since he had dealt with his wife's betrayals, Jack started to doubt.
He swirled the glass around again. Somehow the comforting liquid was gone again, and all he was left with was the half-melted ice at the bottom. He stared at the ice; he watched the liquid start to pool in the side of cube. Slowly, the drop of water grew until it was carried down by gravity. As it fell from the ice it pooled in the bottom of the glass, slowly. The drop's perfect crystal structure giving way to the chaos of its new form. And he felt he could mourn the melting of that drop, until he looked back at the top of the ice cube and saw that another drop had formed, and then another. And then Jack grew scared. Scared that he would start to unravel. He felt tears flowing down his face as he tossed his empty glass on his empty coffee table. It made a painfully loud clang that echoed in his empty apartment. And he cried.
Jack opened the door to his apartment and quietly walked in. He carelessly dropped his coat over the arm of the sofa and proceeded to loosen his tie. After his tie joined his jacket on top of his coat, he walked over to his small bar. He flicked on a small table lamp merely so he wouldn't spill any of the liquor he was about to pour. The light annoyed him, but spilling any scotch would have annoyed him more. The two ice cubes made a loud clink as they hit the empty glass and crackled slightly as he poured the golden liquor over top of them. He would have shut the light again, but he wasn't a dramatic person. He wanted the light to annoy him. He knew better than anyone that he did not deserve the forgiveness of the dark. He walked over to his loveseat and shook his head at the irony of the name as he sat down.
He swirled the glass around causing the ice to circle the inside of the glass, cooling the liquid evenly. As he watched the ice melt he let himself feel the weariness of the last few weeks. Though he and his daughter had made some kind of peace, especially working together to find a cure for Vaughn's illness, he still felt this big gaping hole in his heart as he thought back to her accusing words. She had thought that she was the embodiment of all his mistakes. His heart clenched as he thought back to that plane ride. The truth of the matter was that he loved her more anything in the world. But he seemed to have a nasty habit of hurting those he cared for.
He had caused his friends to abandon him. Devlin had been his friend once, but now he wouldn't even talk to him unless absolutely necessary. He actually thought that Devlin might despise him. Or maybe that was too harsh, maybe he was only really disappointed. Either way he had no one to share this drink with, so he gulped it down in one swing.
Then there was Vaughn. He got up and decided to pour himself another drink. Swirling his new drink in his hand he contemplated his daughter's handler. Who am I kidding? He thought savagely. As much as he tried to dislike him for his meddling and the few mistakes he made, the truth of the matter was, and that is what tonight is about isn't it? He respected Vaughn. Vaughn had proven his integrity over and over. He isn't sacred of me thought Jack, surprised that it should matter but it did. And he knew how to handle Sydney and for that Jack was a little bit jealous. Overall, Jack had to admit that he could have liked Vaughn, if he'd let himself. But instead I belittle him on a regular basis, I try to undermine his authority with my daughter and generally give him no reason to like me at all. And maybe that's what bothered him the most about Vaughn. Jack could like him as a person if he didn't represent all the things that Jack wasn't but wished he was. And for that thought, Jack was ashamed.
Taking down SD-6 is what gets her up in the morning, or did you think it was the meetings she has with you?
You do good work, Agent Vaughn. But your consistent shortcoming - you should know this - is your naive sense of morality
Jack shook his head to clear it of these thoughts and poured himself another drink. Unfortunately, following the laws of nature, new thoughts diffused into the vacuum created in his head. These thoughts were of his daughter and his ex-wife. The two were intertwined in a jumbled mess in his head. Yes, he had loved Laura, more than he had ever thought possible, until Sydney had been born. And then he had learned to love even more. Sydney was his joy, his redemption. She was his everything and somehow he had managed to take all his love and turn it into a knife that he repeatedly thrust into his daughter's heart.
Don't you ever speak to me again.
Every time I think I know just how awful you are, I learn something worse.
I will never forgive you for this.
He didn't know where the lines had become blurred. He didn't know why every time he did something to help his daughter, that he only succeeded in hurting her instead. Why did every decision he made with concern for her, drive her farther from him? He had always trusted himself. He had always known, without a shred of doubt that what he was doing was the best for her. Until now. For the first time since he had dealt with his wife's betrayals, Jack started to doubt.
He swirled the glass around again. Somehow the comforting liquid was gone again, and all he was left with was the half-melted ice at the bottom. He stared at the ice; he watched the liquid start to pool in the side of cube. Slowly, the drop of water grew until it was carried down by gravity. As it fell from the ice it pooled in the bottom of the glass, slowly. The drop's perfect crystal structure giving way to the chaos of its new form. And he felt he could mourn the melting of that drop, until he looked back at the top of the ice cube and saw that another drop had formed, and then another. And then Jack grew scared. Scared that he would start to unravel. He felt tears flowing down his face as he tossed his empty glass on his empty coffee table. It made a painfully loud clang that echoed in his empty apartment. And he cried.