THOSE WHO HUNT SARAFAN
Ummm..no one reads these anyway, but in case you were wondering why I
havent updated, I had a funeral to attend.
Heh. This is a DIFFERENT kind of parody, one of an anime! For any of those out there who have seen 'Those Who Hunt Elves', you might have clue of what's coming. )wink wink)
'Those Who Hunt Elves' belongs to their rightful owners...unfortunately not me. BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, JUST DON'T SUE ME!!! (runs screaming)
(opening, I am seen standing in front of a huge fire, hands in the air. Meanwhile, the vampire Kain, Raziel, and Vorador are standing behind.)
Kain: This BETTER work!
Me: Just SHUT UP! Sending you back to your own time is gonna take time, so you better deal with it. This spell is hard enough to cast. (holds chicken and monkey in the air) In the name of piggies I command..
Raziel: (crosses fingers)
Vorador: Hey Kain!
Kain: What?
Vorador: I dare you to shove Elexis in the fire! Just as a joke!
Kain: No.
Vorador: Wimp! (goes up and shoves me in the fire)
Me: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! (jumps out and starts pounding the crap out of Vorador) CAN'T YOU EVER SHUT THE HELL UP AND STAY STILL?!
Raziel: THE SPELL!!!
(I turn around and the spell breaks into 3 parts)
Me: DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNIT!!!!!!!!!! Well, 'guess you guys are stickin' around for awhile.
Kain: No! Were could the spell have gone?!
Me: Well...we're close enough to the Sarafan Stronghold that the fragments of the spell are probably hidden in the their, and since.
Vorador: Point being?
(I bash him over the skull)
Me: THE POINT BEING THAT THE SPELL FRAGMENTS ARE TATTOOED ON THE SKIN OF 3 SARAFAN PRIESTS!
Raziel: Oookayyyyy.
Vorador: I guess we should get going...
Kain: Damn.I hate my unlife. Now we need to strip 3 Sarafan priests and scrutinize them in the buck! Coming, Elexis?
Me: I wouldn't, but it'd be stupid if I didn't help you since you probably have no idea what the hell you're doing.
(Meanwhile in the Sarafan Stronghold)
S. Raziel: (looking at a huge, black star on his back) WHAT THE FU-
S. Dumah: (runs in) Raziel! Rahab and Zephon have these marky things on their-OH MY GOD! IT GOT YOU TOO!!
S. Raziel: Yeah..you know what it is?
S. Dumah: No.
S. Raziel: Damn. (puts armor back on) So Rahab and Zephon have this too, do they?
S. Dumah: Yeah. Only Rahab's is on his arm and it's shaped like a piece of toast, and Zephon's is on his foot and it looks like a moose!
S. Raziel: Maybe they'll just go away..
(Vampire Raziel, Kain, Vorador, and I approach the Stronghold)
Me: (eager to get the vampires out) HEY, OPEN UP! (punches a hole in the door) Whoops.Ah, well. (makes the hole bigger and they all crawl through)
Sarafan#1: AAAAAAAAHHH! VAMPIRES!
Sarafan#2: AHHHHHHHH! WORSE! ELEXIS!!! (they all jump out windows)
(I stomp in to where Melchiah and Zephon are guarding the entrance)
Melchiah: CRAP! Wha-What do you want!
V. Raziel: Ummm.A simple request is all..
Melchiah: From a vampire?! YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!
(I sneek up to Melchiah)
Me: Look, just do it and they will leave, I promise, I'll get rid of them.
Melchiah: Fine.what is it?
Kain: Well.ummm (cough) You both need to umm.
Zephon: Need to what?
Me: Shy, Kain? (cough) Takeyourclothesoff (cough).
Melchiah and Zephon: WHAT?!
(Dumah, Rahab and Turel rush in)
Rahab: What's going on here?!
Me: Good! They're all in one spot! Except one.oh well, we'll get him later.
Rahab: Get who? Raziel? What the hell do you want?
Kain: ALL OF YOU NEED TO TAKE OFF YOUR DAMN CLOTHES!!!
Rahab: (blush) WHAT?!
Turel: NAKED! (frolics)
All: O_O;;;
Me: No one should EVER have to see that..
Vorador: Well..nothin' on him.
Me: Maybe HE'S on something, though.
Rahab: Fine..(pouts)
Kain: GASP! What th-?
Me: Its part of the spell!
Rahab: This on my arm? YOU MADE ME STRIP JUST TO SEE MY ARM?!
Vorador: Hey, WE didn't know anything was there!
Kain: Damn lucky it wasn't somewhere ELSE.
Raziel: The rest of you do the same!
(All strip, then stand there blushing, hands over their..uh..ya know.)
Vorador: HEY! Zephon's got one, too!
Raziel: No sight of the third one, though.
Me: Good, two. Now let me remove them...'thou who art lost and alone..get the hell over here'
(the spell fragments attach themselves to me)
Me: Damn. I knew it.
Kain: Now put your clothes back on, your scaring people. _
Zephon: That was an unnecessary comment..
(they get dressed)
Me: Well...theres only one more to go, and by process of elmination..its on the Sarafan Raziel.
Rahab: He's gonna be pissed when you ask him to strip!
Me: (cracks knuckles) He better cooperate.
(we all head in)
(Sarafan Raziel is standing, waiting)
S. Raziel: So, here we are at last. You've stripped and embarrassed the hell out of my brethren and now you've come for me?
Me: Yes. Now take off your clothes.
S. Raziel: Wha-its not going to be that easy!
Kain: It better be, dammit!
Me: (frustrated) JUST DO IT!!!!!! (tears off his armor)
S.Raziel: (FLUSH) I hate you all..
Me: Sure, fine.
Kain: Here! On his back!
Me: Good. (removes spell)
S.Raziel: (Goes back for his clothes, but they are gone) WHAT THE HELL?! (spots Turel running with his clothes)
Turel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
S. Raziel: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, TUREL! Elexis, would you get m-
(We left)
S. Raziel: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!
(back at the alter...)
Me: The spell is complete! Quick! The portal is open! Go! Leave! No one wants you here!
(They all jump through, going back to there own time)
Me: Whew!
(Back at the Stronghold, S. Raziel is still there...naked)
S. Raziel: Why is it that everyone finds my pain funny?
Me: Because it is!
S. Raziel: Elexis! Why'd you leave! Give me some clothes!
Me: HMMMMMMM..
S. Raziel: Oh, come one! I thought you said I was cool!
Me: I did, didn't I?
S. Raziel: Yes.
Me: Hmm..Later. I'll be back.maybe.
S. Raziel: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!
The end. (of the chapter.not Sarafan Raziel's nakedness) Hope you enjoyed this!!! Please Review!!!
NEXT CHAPTER: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPERS!!!!
Heh. This is a DIFFERENT kind of parody, one of an anime! For any of those out there who have seen 'Those Who Hunt Elves', you might have clue of what's coming. )wink wink)
'Those Who Hunt Elves' belongs to their rightful owners...unfortunately not me. BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, JUST DON'T SUE ME!!! (runs screaming)
(opening, I am seen standing in front of a huge fire, hands in the air. Meanwhile, the vampire Kain, Raziel, and Vorador are standing behind.)
Kain: This BETTER work!
Me: Just SHUT UP! Sending you back to your own time is gonna take time, so you better deal with it. This spell is hard enough to cast. (holds chicken and monkey in the air) In the name of piggies I command..
Raziel: (crosses fingers)
Vorador: Hey Kain!
Kain: What?
Vorador: I dare you to shove Elexis in the fire! Just as a joke!
Kain: No.
Vorador: Wimp! (goes up and shoves me in the fire)
Me: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! (jumps out and starts pounding the crap out of Vorador) CAN'T YOU EVER SHUT THE HELL UP AND STAY STILL?!
Raziel: THE SPELL!!!
(I turn around and the spell breaks into 3 parts)
Me: DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNIT!!!!!!!!!! Well, 'guess you guys are stickin' around for awhile.
Kain: No! Were could the spell have gone?!
Me: Well...we're close enough to the Sarafan Stronghold that the fragments of the spell are probably hidden in the their, and since.
Vorador: Point being?
(I bash him over the skull)
Me: THE POINT BEING THAT THE SPELL FRAGMENTS ARE TATTOOED ON THE SKIN OF 3 SARAFAN PRIESTS!
Raziel: Oookayyyyy.
Vorador: I guess we should get going...
Kain: Damn.I hate my unlife. Now we need to strip 3 Sarafan priests and scrutinize them in the buck! Coming, Elexis?
Me: I wouldn't, but it'd be stupid if I didn't help you since you probably have no idea what the hell you're doing.
(Meanwhile in the Sarafan Stronghold)
S. Raziel: (looking at a huge, black star on his back) WHAT THE FU-
S. Dumah: (runs in) Raziel! Rahab and Zephon have these marky things on their-OH MY GOD! IT GOT YOU TOO!!
S. Raziel: Yeah..you know what it is?
S. Dumah: No.
S. Raziel: Damn. (puts armor back on) So Rahab and Zephon have this too, do they?
S. Dumah: Yeah. Only Rahab's is on his arm and it's shaped like a piece of toast, and Zephon's is on his foot and it looks like a moose!
S. Raziel: Maybe they'll just go away..
(Vampire Raziel, Kain, Vorador, and I approach the Stronghold)
Me: (eager to get the vampires out) HEY, OPEN UP! (punches a hole in the door) Whoops.Ah, well. (makes the hole bigger and they all crawl through)
Sarafan#1: AAAAAAAAHHH! VAMPIRES!
Sarafan#2: AHHHHHHHH! WORSE! ELEXIS!!! (they all jump out windows)
(I stomp in to where Melchiah and Zephon are guarding the entrance)
Melchiah: CRAP! Wha-What do you want!
V. Raziel: Ummm.A simple request is all..
Melchiah: From a vampire?! YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!
(I sneek up to Melchiah)
Me: Look, just do it and they will leave, I promise, I'll get rid of them.
Melchiah: Fine.what is it?
Kain: Well.ummm (cough) You both need to umm.
Zephon: Need to what?
Me: Shy, Kain? (cough) Takeyourclothesoff (cough).
Melchiah and Zephon: WHAT?!
(Dumah, Rahab and Turel rush in)
Rahab: What's going on here?!
Me: Good! They're all in one spot! Except one.oh well, we'll get him later.
Rahab: Get who? Raziel? What the hell do you want?
Kain: ALL OF YOU NEED TO TAKE OFF YOUR DAMN CLOTHES!!!
Rahab: (blush) WHAT?!
Turel: NAKED! (frolics)
All: O_O;;;
Me: No one should EVER have to see that..
Vorador: Well..nothin' on him.
Me: Maybe HE'S on something, though.
Rahab: Fine..(pouts)
Kain: GASP! What th-?
Me: Its part of the spell!
Rahab: This on my arm? YOU MADE ME STRIP JUST TO SEE MY ARM?!
Vorador: Hey, WE didn't know anything was there!
Kain: Damn lucky it wasn't somewhere ELSE.
Raziel: The rest of you do the same!
(All strip, then stand there blushing, hands over their..uh..ya know.)
Vorador: HEY! Zephon's got one, too!
Raziel: No sight of the third one, though.
Me: Good, two. Now let me remove them...'thou who art lost and alone..get the hell over here'
(the spell fragments attach themselves to me)
Me: Damn. I knew it.
Kain: Now put your clothes back on, your scaring people. _
Zephon: That was an unnecessary comment..
(they get dressed)
Me: Well...theres only one more to go, and by process of elmination..its on the Sarafan Raziel.
Rahab: He's gonna be pissed when you ask him to strip!
Me: (cracks knuckles) He better cooperate.
(we all head in)
(Sarafan Raziel is standing, waiting)
S. Raziel: So, here we are at last. You've stripped and embarrassed the hell out of my brethren and now you've come for me?
Me: Yes. Now take off your clothes.
S. Raziel: Wha-its not going to be that easy!
Kain: It better be, dammit!
Me: (frustrated) JUST DO IT!!!!!! (tears off his armor)
S.Raziel: (FLUSH) I hate you all..
Me: Sure, fine.
Kain: Here! On his back!
Me: Good. (removes spell)
S.Raziel: (Goes back for his clothes, but they are gone) WHAT THE HELL?! (spots Turel running with his clothes)
Turel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
S. Raziel: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, TUREL! Elexis, would you get m-
(We left)
S. Raziel: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!
(back at the alter...)
Me: The spell is complete! Quick! The portal is open! Go! Leave! No one wants you here!
(They all jump through, going back to there own time)
Me: Whew!
(Back at the Stronghold, S. Raziel is still there...naked)
S. Raziel: Why is it that everyone finds my pain funny?
Me: Because it is!
S. Raziel: Elexis! Why'd you leave! Give me some clothes!
Me: HMMMMMMM..
S. Raziel: Oh, come one! I thought you said I was cool!
Me: I did, didn't I?
S. Raziel: Yes.
Me: Hmm..Later. I'll be back.maybe.
S. Raziel: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!
The end. (of the chapter.not Sarafan Raziel's nakedness) Hope you enjoyed this!!! Please Review!!!
NEXT CHAPTER: BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPERS!!!!