SOUL REAVER 2 BLOOPERS!!!
I know! I know! Its cliché! But I have so many ideas for bloopers I think- (head explodes before statement is finished)
(Raziel in the Stronghold and walks up to the statue of his former self)
Raziel VO- It tortured me to see how noble and pure I had been, and what a vile phan-
(Sarafan Raziel suddenly breaks out of the statue)
S. Raziel: BOO!!!
Raziel: X_X;;;;;
(Raziel goes to change underpants)
Director: Uh.
(S. Raziel and others laugh it up) **BIP**
(Raziel first emerges from the Stronghold, he approaches the edge of the balcony)
Raziel: I emerged, and for the first time, beheld Nosgoth in its former glory. A land overflowed with abun-(he doesn't stop walking forward and walks right off the platform)
Raziel: (falling) OHMYGODIMGONNADIEEEEEEE!!!!!
Director: Idiot..(slaps forehead) **BIP** (Raziel and Kain at the pillars)
Raziel: You said it yourself, Kain. There are only two sides to your coin.
Kain: BRILLIANT, EINSTEIN! HOW MANY 5 SIDED COINS HAVE YOU SEEN LATELY?!
Director: CUT! Dammit, Kain! Stop being a smart-ass and follow the script! **BIP** (The Elder God)
Raziel: And if I tell Moebius that he's worshipping a giant squid, do you think his faith will falter?
Elder God: (sniff) You're a meanie!
Moebius in the distance: Squid? SQUID?! I've been worshipping a- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (runs, screams, and huddles in a corner) **BIP** (The Termogent Forest Swamp)
(Raziel whips around and spots Vorador)
Vorador: (nervous dance) EEEEEEEP! HE SEES ME! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!
Director: Vanish, you idiot! VANISH! Are you that senile?!
(S. Raziel is heard snickering in the background)
Vorador: Cork it, Raziel!
Director: Vanish..just VANISH...
Vorador: Oh, right. (Vanishes) **BIP** (In the Dark Forge)
(Raziel comes across one of those.er...zombie things, he fights it, tears it in half, and chocolate sprays out)
Raziel: Moebius! You have some 'splainin to do! **BIP** (History and Destiny Collide)
Raziel: Show yourself, Kain!
Kain: HERE, Raziel.
(Raziel approaches, Kain disappears and appears about 10 feet away)
Kain: HERE, Raziel! (does it again)
HERE, Raziel!
Director: CUT! Damnit, Kain! **BIP** Raziel: Humble words from someone who intends to teach me a lesson at every turn.
Kain: (wearing glasses and holding a huge book) HMPH! Well then, continue your journey and learn your own lessons, my boy. (turns around, pouting)
Director: No comment... **BIP** (Ariel's lament)
Ariel: Forever I am bound, hope abandoned, my spirit tethered to this place...What destroyed the circle could not touch me. For I was newly dead, and beyond harm's reach. I alone was spared the decent into madness, and Kain alone was spared the pain of death. Blah, blah, blah.
Raziel: SHUT UP! (Throws a bottle of Prozac at her)
(A/N: I HATE ARIEL!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!) **BIP** (The Tenth Guardian)
Raziel: Janos Audron?
Janos: (turns around, pineapples in hand) It is hardening, after all th-
Director: Lose the pineapples, I-used-too-much-hair-gel-man! **BIP** Janos: He has suffered much. He cannot forgive them.
Raziel: Question. You have wings. Why don't you just, you know, fly out of here? Or have your wings been clipped? It makes no sense!!
Janos: (Just now realizing this, looks on his back) Oh yeah! I forgot about those! (starts flying away) SO LONG, SUCKERS!
Director: CUT!!! **BIP** (The Sarafan bust down the door, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Melchiah, and Zephon run in, Sarafan Raziel is seen standing eating ice cream)
Rahab: WTF?
S. Raziel: Eh?
Director: CUT! CUT! CUT! CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!! **BIP** (The Death of Janos Audron)
S. Raziel: Remember the sword!
(the Sarafan run out)
Raziel: Forgive me, I'm sorry..I failed you.
Janos: OH WHAT TRAGEDY HAS BEFALLEN ME!!! DAMN YOU, RAZIEL! YOU SLOW PIECE OF CRAP!! A CURSE! A CURSE UPON YOUR HOUSE..OR WHATEVER!! (dies)
Raziel: .....
Janos: (gets back up quickly) Kill Kain. (dies again)
Raziel: ...... **BIP** (Vengeance)
Zephon: Come to take your revenge, demon?
Melchiah: Back to hell with you!
Raziel: I recognized these two as my former brethren. In life as Sarafan, and in unlife as Kain's vampire 'sons.' Melchiah and Zephon. The weakest of Kain's brood. These bastards had no idea what future lie in store for them, how they would become the very thing they so despised. The reaver hummed with-
Reaver: LALALALALA! I CANT HEAR YOU! (hums)
Raziel: ?
Director: CUT! **BIP**
(same scene)
Raziel: I recognized these two as my former brethren. In life as Sarafan, and in unlife as Kain's vampire 'sons.' Melchiah and Zephon. The weakest of Kain's brood. These bastards had no idea what future lie in store for them, how they would become the very thi- HUSSAN CHOP!! (runs after the two Sarafan)
Melchiah and Zephon: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Director: Yes, CUT! **BIP** Dumah: Have you come back to reclaim the monster's black heart?
Rahab: You'll have to get through us first!
Raziel: My former brethren Dumah and Rahab confronted me next-this all seemed so elegantly choreographed.
Guy#1: Thanks! It DID take awhile!
Director: Shut up....shut up..SHUT UP!!! **BIP** Raziel: My former brethren Dumah and Rahab confronted me next-this all seemed so elegantly choreographed.Exhilerated by the reaver, I was dr- HUSSAN CHOP!!! (runs after Dumah and Rahab now)
Dumah and Rahab: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGG!!!
Director: Raziel, are you retarded?! **BIP** (Turel)
Turel: Get back to the pit you crawled from, demon!
Raziel: Damnit, Turel! Its about time you showed up! You still owe me money!
Turel: Eh heheh.about that....
Director: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGG!!! (jumps off building) **BIP** (Sarafan Raziel)
(Raziel walks in)
S. Raziel: I'm tired, come back later.
Raziel: ? **BIP** (Raziel impales S. Raziel)
S. Raziel: Could you aim any lower?!
Raziel: Sorry..Hey, does this count as suicide? 'Cause I DID technically, kill myself.
Director: Just shut up.. ============================================================= (pant, pant) Ok! I'm done! Please review! You now you want to!
I know! I know! Its cliché! But I have so many ideas for bloopers I think- (head explodes before statement is finished)
(Raziel in the Stronghold and walks up to the statue of his former self)
Raziel VO- It tortured me to see how noble and pure I had been, and what a vile phan-
(Sarafan Raziel suddenly breaks out of the statue)
S. Raziel: BOO!!!
Raziel: X_X;;;;;
(Raziel goes to change underpants)
Director: Uh.
(S. Raziel and others laugh it up) **BIP**
(Raziel first emerges from the Stronghold, he approaches the edge of the balcony)
Raziel: I emerged, and for the first time, beheld Nosgoth in its former glory. A land overflowed with abun-(he doesn't stop walking forward and walks right off the platform)
Raziel: (falling) OHMYGODIMGONNADIEEEEEEE!!!!!
Director: Idiot..(slaps forehead) **BIP** (Raziel and Kain at the pillars)
Raziel: You said it yourself, Kain. There are only two sides to your coin.
Kain: BRILLIANT, EINSTEIN! HOW MANY 5 SIDED COINS HAVE YOU SEEN LATELY?!
Director: CUT! Dammit, Kain! Stop being a smart-ass and follow the script! **BIP** (The Elder God)
Raziel: And if I tell Moebius that he's worshipping a giant squid, do you think his faith will falter?
Elder God: (sniff) You're a meanie!
Moebius in the distance: Squid? SQUID?! I've been worshipping a- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (runs, screams, and huddles in a corner) **BIP** (The Termogent Forest Swamp)
(Raziel whips around and spots Vorador)
Vorador: (nervous dance) EEEEEEEP! HE SEES ME! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!
Director: Vanish, you idiot! VANISH! Are you that senile?!
(S. Raziel is heard snickering in the background)
Vorador: Cork it, Raziel!
Director: Vanish..just VANISH...
Vorador: Oh, right. (Vanishes) **BIP** (In the Dark Forge)
(Raziel comes across one of those.er...zombie things, he fights it, tears it in half, and chocolate sprays out)
Raziel: Moebius! You have some 'splainin to do! **BIP** (History and Destiny Collide)
Raziel: Show yourself, Kain!
Kain: HERE, Raziel.
(Raziel approaches, Kain disappears and appears about 10 feet away)
Kain: HERE, Raziel! (does it again)
HERE, Raziel!
Director: CUT! Damnit, Kain! **BIP** Raziel: Humble words from someone who intends to teach me a lesson at every turn.
Kain: (wearing glasses and holding a huge book) HMPH! Well then, continue your journey and learn your own lessons, my boy. (turns around, pouting)
Director: No comment... **BIP** (Ariel's lament)
Ariel: Forever I am bound, hope abandoned, my spirit tethered to this place...What destroyed the circle could not touch me. For I was newly dead, and beyond harm's reach. I alone was spared the decent into madness, and Kain alone was spared the pain of death. Blah, blah, blah.
Raziel: SHUT UP! (Throws a bottle of Prozac at her)
(A/N: I HATE ARIEL!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!) **BIP** (The Tenth Guardian)
Raziel: Janos Audron?
Janos: (turns around, pineapples in hand) It is hardening, after all th-
Director: Lose the pineapples, I-used-too-much-hair-gel-man! **BIP** Janos: He has suffered much. He cannot forgive them.
Raziel: Question. You have wings. Why don't you just, you know, fly out of here? Or have your wings been clipped? It makes no sense!!
Janos: (Just now realizing this, looks on his back) Oh yeah! I forgot about those! (starts flying away) SO LONG, SUCKERS!
Director: CUT!!! **BIP** (The Sarafan bust down the door, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Melchiah, and Zephon run in, Sarafan Raziel is seen standing eating ice cream)
Rahab: WTF?
S. Raziel: Eh?
Director: CUT! CUT! CUT! CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!! **BIP** (The Death of Janos Audron)
S. Raziel: Remember the sword!
(the Sarafan run out)
Raziel: Forgive me, I'm sorry..I failed you.
Janos: OH WHAT TRAGEDY HAS BEFALLEN ME!!! DAMN YOU, RAZIEL! YOU SLOW PIECE OF CRAP!! A CURSE! A CURSE UPON YOUR HOUSE..OR WHATEVER!! (dies)
Raziel: .....
Janos: (gets back up quickly) Kill Kain. (dies again)
Raziel: ...... **BIP** (Vengeance)
Zephon: Come to take your revenge, demon?
Melchiah: Back to hell with you!
Raziel: I recognized these two as my former brethren. In life as Sarafan, and in unlife as Kain's vampire 'sons.' Melchiah and Zephon. The weakest of Kain's brood. These bastards had no idea what future lie in store for them, how they would become the very thing they so despised. The reaver hummed with-
Reaver: LALALALALA! I CANT HEAR YOU! (hums)
Raziel: ?
Director: CUT! **BIP**
(same scene)
Raziel: I recognized these two as my former brethren. In life as Sarafan, and in unlife as Kain's vampire 'sons.' Melchiah and Zephon. The weakest of Kain's brood. These bastards had no idea what future lie in store for them, how they would become the very thi- HUSSAN CHOP!! (runs after the two Sarafan)
Melchiah and Zephon: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Director: Yes, CUT! **BIP** Dumah: Have you come back to reclaim the monster's black heart?
Rahab: You'll have to get through us first!
Raziel: My former brethren Dumah and Rahab confronted me next-this all seemed so elegantly choreographed.
Guy#1: Thanks! It DID take awhile!
Director: Shut up....shut up..SHUT UP!!! **BIP** Raziel: My former brethren Dumah and Rahab confronted me next-this all seemed so elegantly choreographed.Exhilerated by the reaver, I was dr- HUSSAN CHOP!!! (runs after Dumah and Rahab now)
Dumah and Rahab: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGG!!!
Director: Raziel, are you retarded?! **BIP** (Turel)
Turel: Get back to the pit you crawled from, demon!
Raziel: Damnit, Turel! Its about time you showed up! You still owe me money!
Turel: Eh heheh.about that....
Director: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGG!!! (jumps off building) **BIP** (Sarafan Raziel)
(Raziel walks in)
S. Raziel: I'm tired, come back later.
Raziel: ? **BIP** (Raziel impales S. Raziel)
S. Raziel: Could you aim any lower?!
Raziel: Sorry..Hey, does this count as suicide? 'Cause I DID technically, kill myself.
Director: Just shut up.. ============================================================= (pant, pant) Ok! I'm done! Please review! You now you want to!