Title: Spent Distance
Author: Noa
Feedback: julianna_fan@yahoo.com
Summary: Song-fic, 'Cautioners' by Jimmy Eat World, respont to Space Between [http://www.celebrity-pop.com/sb] challange.
+ = + = +
You can't leave, not now. Well, technically, of course you can. You actually already did, it's just me refusing to accept it. You didn't even tell me you were leaving, as if I didn't mean enough to you to know about that. I later found out I did, but for the first two weeks that you were gone, that was the feeling I walked around with. No one talked about you, so I didn't ask either. It was like you were some ghost that no one noticed was gone. You –were- a ghost for a long time now. So different from the man I thought I knew, so different from what I got to know.
[I watched you go from left to right
I follow you all night across my blinds
I'm making my peace making it with distance]
I got your letter yesterday. A simple white envelope, 3 stamps partly covered with the Croatian post authority signature. As you know, I know no one in Croatia, so right away I knew it was from you.
I held it in my hand for over two hours, too scared to open it. Somehow, it didn't feel like good news.
Thankfully, once I finally opened it, I found out I was wrong. Your letter didn't contain bad news... Just all those things I avoided thinking about ever since that dreadful October night. It's not like I haven't been thinking about those things almost every night since then, but I never wanted to. I told myself there was no point in dwelling – Until I got your letter. Your handwriting, usually perfectly laid, was shaky, weakly written, and barely readable.
But I understood every word.
Your thoughts and feelings, so beautifully put, had me crying early on in the letter, making it unbelievably hard to carry on reading.
[Maybe that's a big mistake
you know I'm thinking of you]
You wrote everything I've been waiting to hear in that letter. Above them all, were the three words I wanted to hear, spread across at least 5 sentences. Across the whole letter, you didn't write the three together even one time – But they were there, in every single line you had written down. I spent the rest of the night reading it over and over again, only stopping when I was too tired to keep my eyes open. The very first thing I did the next morning was get a pen, some paper, and write you back. You left a phone number at the end of your letter... But I was too frightened to call you, and writing back seemed like the easiest way.
I felt like I was repeating your letter in mine, but how could I help it when I was feeling the same? Only ten minutes after I started writing it, it was done. I took an envelope, stamps, wrote down your address... And slowly but surely, made my way down to the street to throw it into the mailbox. I can't get it back now... In a few days, you will know everything.
Instead of feeling scared like I thought I would, I feel content like never before.
A few days later, as I am making my way to the grocery store down my street, I see a familiar figure coming out of a taxi.
My heart skips a beat or two when I realize who it is.
I call out your name just as you look up, spotting me. We smile at each other pick up the pace of our steps, meeting in the middle. You wrap your arms around my waist and I wrap mine around yours, just holding each other for a few quiet moments.
[I miss you]
When we finally pull back from each other, we quietly say in unison, "I've missed you," and we both know that we have missed each other long before you left the country – And that we don't need to anymore.
Author: Noa
Feedback: julianna_fan@yahoo.com
Summary: Song-fic, 'Cautioners' by Jimmy Eat World, respont to Space Between [http://www.celebrity-pop.com/sb] challange.
+ = + = +
You can't leave, not now. Well, technically, of course you can. You actually already did, it's just me refusing to accept it. You didn't even tell me you were leaving, as if I didn't mean enough to you to know about that. I later found out I did, but for the first two weeks that you were gone, that was the feeling I walked around with. No one talked about you, so I didn't ask either. It was like you were some ghost that no one noticed was gone. You –were- a ghost for a long time now. So different from the man I thought I knew, so different from what I got to know.
[I watched you go from left to right
I follow you all night across my blinds
I'm making my peace making it with distance]
I got your letter yesterday. A simple white envelope, 3 stamps partly covered with the Croatian post authority signature. As you know, I know no one in Croatia, so right away I knew it was from you.
I held it in my hand for over two hours, too scared to open it. Somehow, it didn't feel like good news.
Thankfully, once I finally opened it, I found out I was wrong. Your letter didn't contain bad news... Just all those things I avoided thinking about ever since that dreadful October night. It's not like I haven't been thinking about those things almost every night since then, but I never wanted to. I told myself there was no point in dwelling – Until I got your letter. Your handwriting, usually perfectly laid, was shaky, weakly written, and barely readable.
But I understood every word.
Your thoughts and feelings, so beautifully put, had me crying early on in the letter, making it unbelievably hard to carry on reading.
[Maybe that's a big mistake
you know I'm thinking of you]
You wrote everything I've been waiting to hear in that letter. Above them all, were the three words I wanted to hear, spread across at least 5 sentences. Across the whole letter, you didn't write the three together even one time – But they were there, in every single line you had written down. I spent the rest of the night reading it over and over again, only stopping when I was too tired to keep my eyes open. The very first thing I did the next morning was get a pen, some paper, and write you back. You left a phone number at the end of your letter... But I was too frightened to call you, and writing back seemed like the easiest way.
I felt like I was repeating your letter in mine, but how could I help it when I was feeling the same? Only ten minutes after I started writing it, it was done. I took an envelope, stamps, wrote down your address... And slowly but surely, made my way down to the street to throw it into the mailbox. I can't get it back now... In a few days, you will know everything.
Instead of feeling scared like I thought I would, I feel content like never before.
A few days later, as I am making my way to the grocery store down my street, I see a familiar figure coming out of a taxi.
My heart skips a beat or two when I realize who it is.
I call out your name just as you look up, spotting me. We smile at each other pick up the pace of our steps, meeting in the middle. You wrap your arms around my waist and I wrap mine around yours, just holding each other for a few quiet moments.
[I miss you]
When we finally pull back from each other, we quietly say in unison, "I've missed you," and we both know that we have missed each other long before you left the country – And that we don't need to anymore.