\Chapter 7-Rachel
My name is Rachel.
And I am dead.
It's been three years since I was alive. Something like that. It's hard to keep track of the time.
Jake had sent me with Tom on the Blade ship. If he ordered me to, I was supposed to kill Tom. We couldn't let him get away.
He knew only I would do that. The others were all needed. Besides, only I would do something that crazy. Tobias wouldn't let me, and Cassie wouldn't have let Jake make the order.
We hid the decision from them, Jake and I did. I guess the others eventually found out where I was.
When Tom was about to destroy the Pool ship, Jake gave the order, and I followed his commands. I morphed to grizzly bear and killed Tom. But the other Yeerks were able to morph, and they had damaged my bear morph greatly. I had to demorph.
I was helpless, surrounded by various Yeerks in morph. There was no way out, no lucky break. I knew it.
My last image of life was looking at the Blade ship's viewscreen. All of my friends, my fellow warriors, were in view. It was one of the sweetest and saddest images of my life, something I would never forget.
Cassie was there, in her wolf morph. My best friend. She couldn't dress, but that girl can see things no one else could.
She had let the Yeerks take the morphing cube. Jake saw it as a betrayal, but Cassie had seen what allowing the Yeerks to possess the technology might do.
By acquiring the morphing power, the Yeerks no longer needed to be parasites. They could permanently morph into another form. They would no longer need the Kandrona rays every three days. Their days of making war to gain host bodies would be over.
Cassie had seen this, and so had some of the Yeerks. The Taxxons, too, wanted to acquire the technology. They would no longer be prison to their terrible hunger. A revolt had been growing within the Yeerks.
Tom had the morphing cube. That's why we couldn't let him get away.
I saw Jake, our leader. He was in his tiger morph, and he was looking at me with his huge, black tiger eyes.
I felt sad for Jake. For so many years, and so many battles, Jake had made those decisions that might get us all killed. Despite our many battles, he had managed to keep us all alive.
I was about to end his streak.
I saw Marco, in his gorilla morph. Even though the boy told the worst jokes I had ever heard, he was the one who kept us from becoming complete zombies. His jokes would always make us laugh, even when we were completely down. I would miss him.
Ax, our Andalite ally, was looking at me with his main eyes, while his stalk eyes glanced around. He was a warrior, and he would know why Jake sent me. To win the war, you have to do some things that you don't want to do. I'm sure Ax understood that.
Last, I saw Tobias. Poor Tobias.
He was in human morph, and he was crying. He knew that I was going to die, and he could do nothing to delay that. It was heartbreaking.
Before the war, Tobias had been a loner. He was tossed between uncaring relatives, and the bullies always picked on him at school. When he was trapped as a hawk, he became more lonely. A human stuck as a hawk.
I cared for him. He had never been wanted, and I gave him that feeling. We were good friends, I guess you could say, you know?
Now, he would be alone again. I hoped he would find happiness someday. I hoped he didn't get mad at Jake for his decision.
"I love you," I had said to Tobias. Of course, I had only been speaking to a screen. I glanced out at the Pool ship, so close to me, and yet, it could have been a million miles away.
You fight well, the Yeerk in polar bear morph had said.
Then, with one swipe of his paw, he ended my life.
In my dying moments, the Ellimist came to me. I was angry at him. He had used us many times, had played so many games with us. I wanted to know why he did it.
He told me. I saw the story of his life. I understood what he was all about. In a way, the Ellimist was like us. Trapped in a war he didn't want to be in. An ordinary person who had become powerful by accident.
Then I died.
Every living thing is a strand of space-time. When someone dies, their strand darkens and coils into nothingness. Just as the strand is nearly gone, their essence is released. Like a genie from a lamp.
Your essence is basically a copy of your mind. You can still remember everything from your life. You can think. In a sense, you are still alive.
But you have no body, no physical appearance. You can't talk to the living. You can't interfere with the events that happen. You observe life, like one watches a football game.
My essence rose from my strand of space-time, and I was in the Blade ship, above my lifeless body. I figured out how to go to different places. By simply thinking a person's name, or a location, I would immediately travel to wherever I wanted.
I went to the bridge of the Pool ship. There were all my friends, completely silent. Visser One was there as well. He seemed like a guy who just lost a war. I guess he had.
The Yeerks surrendered. The Andalites came aboard, and there was a little bit of a showdown. We won.
I saw the huge media crowd that gathered as the surviving Animorphs and Ax told the story we had kept secret for so long. It would have been cool to be down there, talking to a thousand flashing bulbs. I'd be on the cover of every newspaper, I'd be the top story on TV.
If I were alive.
I also went to my funeral.
My body had been found by the Andalites, and my mom had it cremated. Now I was just a few ashes in a nice-looking jar. I was cool with that. What would be the point of burying yourself in the ground?
My memorial was in a cemetery, with a nice view of the Pacific Ocean. I would have thanked my mom for choosing such a nice spot.
Tons of people were there. Most of them I had never seen before. Hundreds of TV cameras were set up in the back. Everyone was watching my funeral.
There were free Hork-Bajir standing at attention. A troop of Andalite warriors were on guard. Our ally General Doubleday was there, as well as what seemed like many generals. The President of the United States was there.
It was cool, having all these powerful people show up at my memorial service. But they were coming to say goodbye to someone they never knew. I wished that it hadn't been so public.
Jake, Marco, Cassie, and Ax, in human morph, were there. All of them were crying. I never had seen Ax cry before. It was sad.
They all made little speeches. I had never heard Marco say so many nice things about me. He cheered up the gathering a little. He even made me laugh. "I bet she's watching over us, laughing at us right now," he said.
He had never said anything so right in his life.
The President made a speech, too. I didn't really listen to what he was saying. He was talking about someone that he never knew. How can you say nice things about someone you don't know?
Near the end of the service, I saw Tobias fly high overhead. He rocketed down and gripped my urn of ashes. One of the ushers moved to scare him off, but Jake stopped the guy.
Tobias looked at my mother, who was sobbing. She nodded, giving her approval. Then he looked at Cassie.
"Yes, Tobias," she whispered through her tears. "She would want it."
With that, he lifted the jar that contained me and flew off into the sky.
I would have yelled at Tobias for being so foolish. He should have realized that Jake made the right decision. But he would only accept that if he heard me say it.
And I was dead.
Just as the funeral ended and everyone was leaving, I heard a new thought-speak voice that I didn't recognize.
Hello, Rachel.
Who is this? I asked angrily. I was in no mood to talk with wandering essences.
Perhaps it has been too long since that night in the construction site, the voice said. I am Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul.
Prince Elfangor? I questioned. Yeah, it has been a while.
Elfangor had given us the morphing power. He had changed our lives forever, and he had probably saved the human race from life as Yeerk slaves.
I am pleased that you and your friends won the war against the Yeerks. You have spared the freedom of humans, as well as the lives of many Andalites. Elfangor said gravely. I am proud of all of you. Five human children and my younger brother saved stopped the greatest threat to freedom in the entire galaxy. Amazing.
Yeah, I said. We did it. We got lucky.
No, you deserved to win, Elfangor persisted. The Yeerks underestimated the danger, the threat, you posed to their empire. They did not think a few guerillas could defeat them.
We showed them who's boss, I said jokingly.
I am sad that you died, the Andalite said.
Me, too, I replied.
I know that you loved Tobias, Rachel. When you died, a large part of his soul died with him as well. You were the only one Tobias had. Now, he is alone again.
I felt a stab of pain. But he's still alive. He still has his whole life to live out.
You know as well as I do, Rachel. You were the one person there for Tobias. He could lean on you for support and comfort. He loved you. And now he is alone again. Elfangor paused. I could sense he was uncomfortable. During the time I have been dead, I have often wondered whether I could have stayed as a human. Whether I should have tried to defy the Ellimist. I saw how lonely Tobias was, and I wanted to be there for him. Yet, the Ellimist would not allow.
Yeah, you can't do much when the Ellimist does something.
I only can hope that he will find happiness one day. It is terrible to be alone.
Me, too, I said. I really hoped Tobias wouldn't spend the rest of his life trying to figure out how he could have saved me.
So. How have you been, Elfangor? I asked.