3- Futae-no-kiwami Ryuu
When Kenshin arrived at the set, at nine o'clock, Pat was getting out of the men's dressing room, a towel around his waist and renewed mood. "Awh, Kenshin-kun! I was about to talk to you! May we have some chat?"
Glad to see the director in such a good humor, Kenshin smiled and sat down, waiting for him to say his say. "Sessha's listening. Is it about our try for today?"
"Yeah, it is!" the director started to get dressed. "Kenshin, Sanosuke's your best friend, isn't it?"
Kenshin cocked his head. "Hai, he's sessha's best friend, but--"
"And what you think of him?"
Kenshin shook his shoulders. "Well, he's a very good man, faithful and persistent, and also strong, but kind of outburster and child-hearted. But--"
"So I guess you wish him the best, isn't it?" Pat interrupted him again.
"Well, sessha wishes the best for everybody here, but being sessha's best friend, it's kind of presumable that sessha wishes him the best, de gozaru ka? Why?"
"Hold your horses, it's my turn to ask. So, do you enjoy your work? I mean, your role?"
The rurouni frowned with such a sudden change on their subject. "Indeed. But sessha still hadn't understand where Hobby-sama wants to get to."
Pat sat in front of Kenshin and talked nervously, smily, shaking his hands as if he wanted them to talk. "My friend, I think Rurouni Kenshin demands a real change. A giganteous one."
Kenshin whiped up one of those lovely smiles of his and brushed the back of his neck. "Well, Hobby-sama, if you don't mind sessha's saying so, anything that is changed on the original script by now will cause an enormous change. Kaoru-dono's character was one of the most important ones."
"Ha, you got it!" The director clapped his hands once. "So, would you ever mind to have an important role, but not the most important one?"
Kenshin giggled. "Absolutely not. If everybody's alright, sessha demands no main character."
Pat Hobby's face became bright and cheerful. "Oh, Kenshin... Your humbleness and devotion makes me so proud of being your director..." He said, clenching Kenshin's gi in a very particular and dramatic way.
The peaceful rurouni got startled. "Sessha thinks Hobby-sama did drink too much yesterday..." Pat just laughed and nodded, getting up. "Can Hobby-sama at least tell sessha what your idea is after all?"
"Put things together, my friend. Build the puzzle if you don't want to be caught unawares..." Pat patted Kenshin's shoulder and left, while the rurouni stood quizzically cock-headed.
^_^x
"Hey, folks! Pay attention to me, please!" Pat hobby gathered all the cast when everybody had already been there. "It's our third day of try and I feel today we'll get to a solution to the problem that settled down when Kaoru-chan left the show. I'll tell it quickly so as to speed up our time, 'cuz today we'll have a lot of work to do. The name of the show had been changed."
A buzz of people whispering could be heard, all of them speculating what Pat's new idea had been or what he would have meant with such a strange statement. The director tried to shush them but, since nobody hed him, he spoke, from the top of his lungs, the new name he created for the show. "RUROUNI SANOSUKE!"
For a moment, silence landed over the set and all the cast turned their heads to Pat... to Sanosuke... and finally to Kenshin... then back to Pat Hobby, who smiled triumphatically over how surprising his revelation had been.
"ORORO?" a voice was heard. All the actors turned immediately to Kenshin, guessing he had got oro-faced once again... but amazingly, nobody saw a trace of oro in Kenshin's expression. In fact -and noby knew it-, he had already guessed what it was when Pat asked him so many questions -and he had already had his oro-time then. It was Megumi to realize and point where the sound came from.
Misao waved her hand in front of Sanosuke's eyes, but he managed no motion. This was due to his bugged eyes and his wide-opened mouth. "O...O...OROOO?" Patientless, Megumi ran to him and boxed his ears, making him come afloat to reality again, with a shake of his head. Back to consciousness and rejoining his thoughts, Sanosuke asked incredule. "Hey, Pat. Do ya mean I'm gonna be the new leading man?"
"Good boy! Got it." Pat pointed him. "The smallest change I can figure out for now is exchanging the roles of Kenshin's and Sanosuke's. From now on, Sanosuke will play the strider and Kenshin will be the prizefighter. Now you've all been comunicated, I ask Kenshin to lend his clothes to his mate -you won't mind, guys, will you?"
Bomb. The reactions from the actors were different: some thought it'd be strange, some thought it was suitable, some just laughed. And among this range of opinions, Sanosuke and Kenshin led to the dressing room.
"Hey, Pat-sama!" Misao came to the director's side. "What about the rest of the characters?"
"Hm... Uh... I hadn't had time to think about them... We'll have to improvise."
"Hey, remember what we settled yesterday? Everybody would help out a little to make the show go on. I think it would be fair if we wrote ourselves the script, for we know each other well enough to guess their reactions face some situations! While some shoot, the others re-arrange the next scenes. It will save us a lot of time, and I've already talked to some people who agreed with the idea!"
Pat clacked his fingers and accepted the girl's suggestion, selecting like this a "writing group", composed mainly by the Oniwabanshuu and the Juupon Gatana joined. They curled up in front of the dressing room, gathered to discuss the new synthesis new speeches, new reactions, new time and sequel of scenes.
While everybody was busy sharing tasks, Kenshin and Sanosuke were at the men's dressing room. While changing their clothes, Kenshin seemed confident. "Yeah, Sano. Sessha thinks this time it will do..."
^_^x
"It won't do at all..." Sanosuke muttered with his flat expression from within Kenshin's clothes. Or almost within, for he was mainly OUT of the clothes: the gi's sleeves covered little more than Sanosuke's elbows and the hakama wasn't long even to the calfs of his legs.
"Euh... Well, Sano-kun..." Pat brushed his beard, staring that riducule scene in front of his eyes. "It will make obvious how poor you had become after becoming a rurouni. And, talking about rurouni, where's Kenshin?"
"He is in the dressing room." Aoshi muttered, sitting on a piece of flat. "He is heming Sanosuke's pants, for they were too long for him to wear."
Pat didn't have the time to call the rurouni due to Sanosuke's calling him back. "Yet, Pat... I think it's not ok... Ya see, pink doesn't fit me--"
"IT'S NOT PINK! IT'S FUCHSIA!" Kenshin yelled from the dressing room.
Sanosuke sighed. "Whatever it is, 't doesn't fit me..." he muttered then to Pat. "It makes me look like what you wanted Kenshin to look like yesterday."
"Hm, it's not a bad idea..." Pat muttered, looking up to the ceiling.
"OI!"
"Ok, ok, forget about it..." Pat shook his hands. "Well, Sano... I'm sorry but--"
"Aw, come on, Pat!" Sanosuke encircled the director, moving mallebly. "It won't look any serious on TV!"
"But we have no other choice! How will we whip you clothing up now?"
Sanosuke looked sideways to a corner and, convinced by his insistence, Pat negociated a bonus payment with Enishi, Sayo and Sagara-taichou and, in retribution, asked them to make Sanosuke some clothing like Kenshin's -in any other color, or the prizefighter would bounce him like a basketball ball. One hour later, the would-be taylors brought them a new kendo clothing looking worn out, an olive-green gi.
Sanosuke wore it annoyedly. Looking to the mirror, he saw himself in white hakama, olive-green gi and his faithful red strip, the sign of his beloved Sekihoutai. "Nice. Now I look like Rambo."
"Rambo?" Megumi taunted, laughing. "All I see is a Gi-I-Joe figure! Ohohohohoho!"
"Meggie, please! Don't make things any more difficult." Pat begged, turning to Sanosuke afterwards. "You look fabulous, Sano-kun, now let's shoot the first scene, we're already late."
"Yeah? And what's the first scene?" Sanosuke asked skeptically.
Pat got near to the writing group and recieved from them the first three scenes, re-aranged on Aoshi's script -for it was the only organized one. The director sat on his foldable chair, squinted and read it. "The one we've been shooting for days and days: the leading man saves the leading woman."
"Ha!" Megumi jeered once again. "And who'd be this savage's leading woman?"
"You, of course."
"WHAAAAAAAAAT?" Megumi got flaming-red.
"Eh, lehleh..." Now it was Sanosuke's turn to derisions. "It means that me and my dear foxy doctor are going to work officially as a pairing?"
"Oh, no way at all, Pat!" Megumi stated firmly. "I won't do that, I refuse, refuse, refuse!"
"Meggie... We have no choice... Can't you do a sliiiiight sacrifice for me? For the show?" Pat got up and embraced Megumi friendly, trying to persuade her. "Besides, all of us know it's not sacrifice for you to be Sano's pairing..."
At this say, Megumi got so red -this time, due to shame- that she accepted immediatelly, avoiding Pat to expose everybody any other reason for her to do the role -who knows what he'd tell afterwards? In the other hand, Pat's eyes glimmered as he sat once again on his foldable chair and took his megaphone. "Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take one--"
"Hey, hold on a minute, Pat!" Sanosuke raised his hand on his own way -like a primary school student. "May I ask ya why 'm a rurouni?"
"Uh... euh... Well, because you killed many people on the Bakumatsu and then you got regretful."
"In the Bakumatsu I was nine..."
"You were a preccocious child."
"Nice... But what about the Sekihoutai? They were slaughtered!"
"And what does it matter? You belonged to Ishin Shishi."
"I DID WHAT? Hey, hold on! I dunno how to fight with a sword!"
Pat got lost. "Euh... I hadn't think about that either..."
"Have you thought about anything at all?" the new rurouni frowned skeptically, much for Pat's embarassment.
"Shut up." the dircetor mumbled, then turned to the writing group. "Hey, guys, can your whip anithing up out there?"
The group arranged on a circle and started mumbling and fumbling, getting to a solution just after. "Sanosuke didn't kill anybody. He becames a rurouni just after the death of his companions from Sekihoutai." Anji comunicated.
"And then, while wandering, he ran into Anji-sama, who taught him Futae-no-kiwami." Okon completed the story, banging by the monk's bloated body.
Pat opened his arms and looked to Sanosuke. "Is it enough?" Sanosuke raised his eyebrowns and got to his position, as the director led back to his foldable chair and tried to start the shooting once again. "Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take one... GO!
At Pat's sign, the lights were shut off and Megumi started walking on a desert alley, when she was encircled by three crooks...
"CUT!" Pat shouted frightened. "There were supposed to be FOUR crooks! Where's the forth one?"
"Didn't anybody tell you, Pat-san?" the actor who played one of the crooks stepped forward. "He's at the hospital. He was beaten so many times by Kenshin that he had to be taken to the hospital."
"But, but, but how come? I don't remember having any accident here!"
"Eh... We went on with the shooting and nobody took notice of his being knocked down on the floor. This morning, while getting the set ready for today, a cleaner found him the very place he fell down on."
"Hmmm... It reminds me something..." Pat scratched his head. "By the way, let's go on from this point then. Rurouni Kenshin first scene, take two... GO!
The crooks encircled Megumi once again -but this time a man came running like a cat, in an easy pace: it was Sanosuke. "Hey, guys. If I were ya I'd leave the cutie alone." The crooks assaulted him, but he dodged and started hitting them with strong punches and kicks. "I told ya!" he roared, while getting rid of the men. When he was through with them, he turned to Megumi, who layed unawake on the floor. He approached and lifted her with dificulty. "Hmpf! Hey, you're heavy, cutie..."
"What did you say?" Megumi stopped acting and pummeled Sanosuke's head with her medicine chest. He tried to protect himself uselessly, without placing her on the ground back.
"Goddamn, CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!" Pat scratched his face noisily, the getting up and approaching to the two defiants. "You both will reshoot this scene right now! And no bickering this time!" The director blew up.
"He said I'm fat!" Megumi balled her fist.
"I'm not guilty for her being plump!"
"ENOUGH YOU BOTH!" Pat shouted angrily, his face smoking like barbecue. Realising how insanely mad the director had become, Sanosuke and Megumi decided to go reshooting peacefully and complaintless, fearing any reaction of Pat's.
^_^x
They strugled to shoot the first scenes -in fact, by lunchtime, just one and a half had been shot and another one and a half after it, before their new challenge...
"It's Yahiko's turn now." Pat called the boy.
He came to the director's side and whispered confidently. "So? We'll keep the perverted Hiten Mitsurugi apprentice stuff?"
"No." Pat said flatly. "You're gonna be Megumi's apprentice."
Yahiko frowned. "And what style does she fight?"
"She doesn't fight. She's a doctor. You'll be a medicine apprentice."
Yahiko blinked twice. "W-What?"
"Meggie will teach you medical science. You'll help her on Genzai-sensei's clinic."
The boy giggled. "Owh, come on! I'm not able to do that!"
Pat faced Yahiko ironically. "Manage it."
The ex-Kamyia Kasshin apprentice tried yet a bit more to dissuade Pat from that absurd idea, but the director had already made up his mind. Seeing there was no choice left for him, Yahiko swallowed and led to his scene. The first ones were just fine and he started thinking he had cared too much. But...
Since Kenshin wasn't through with the clothing yet, they decided to record other scenes in order to save time, scenes wich the ex-rurouni wouldn't be in. One of those scenes was part of an episode just about Megumi's work and how Sanosuke admired her dedication. And there was Yahiko, by her side, helping her. Everything was developing almost fine, when Pat finally announced that, in the following take, Megumi should treat a boy that was completely wrecked. Right in the beggining of the scene, Yahiko threw up.
"CUT!" Pat cried out, asking God why He was being so cruel to such a small man he was.
"I--I think I feel sick..." Yahiko babbled. When he could breathe almost normally again, they went on with the scene, the boy still wan and ghastly. Megumi -who was a doctor indeed- acted passionately.
"Yahiko, bring me my scisors and a needle! Go!" The doctor shouted, heeding the patient, while Yahiko brought her all the stuff she asked for and stood by her side while she treated the injured person. Each time Megumi thrusted the needle against the fake skin, Yahiko frowned and felt a lump in his throat. Finally, Megumi cut a piece of some splashy stuff from the patient and handed it to him, who just had the time to grab it...
...then collapsed.
Many actors and people from the staff encircled the fallen boy, looking down to the floor where he layed unawake, the piece of phony flesh still on his hand. Megumi approached in order to look after him -now it was his turn to be the patient. Getting out from the dressing room, finally dressed up, Kenshin was able to see Sanosuke carrying Yahiko out of the set and Megumi following him.
"Hobby-sama, did sessha miss anything?" Tsubame buzzed on his ear what happened to Yahiko. The ex-rurouni, nodding at each word, concluded just afterwards. "Hm... Maybe we should take him to 'Card Captor Sakura' set?"
Pat just sighed, down and out.
^_^x
After this disastered incident, Pat had no choice but to release everybody from shooting that day. Kenshin, as usual, remained with him.
"I failed again, Kenshin... I failed again..." Pat said, drawing a small bottle of whisly from his coat. "As a director I'm a wreck, a piece of shit, a huge and absolute dumbbass..."
"Don't blame yourself, Hobby-sama. All of us did. But we'll find a way. Sessha's sure we will."
Pat opened his laptop to write what would be the next day's option and tried to keep the mood up, but a message on his e-mail box came to wreck any straw of hope that had ever remained on him. The director started to read it, turning desperate-faced at each second he stared at the notebook screen. By his side, Kenshin was uneasy. "Hobby-sama? What's up?"
The director closed his laptop and stared forawrd, to nowhere. "It's a message from Mr. Watsuki. The TV channel demands the tapes for tomorrow, untill five o'clock in the evening. If we don't give them the tapes... The show's gone. Rurouni Kenshin will be just the bitter memory of a failed project by this time tomorrow."
To be continued
.:Author's Notes:. Hello, there! 'Wanna clear up a spot in this chapter, cuz we had again an allusion to the original "Pat Hobby Does His Bit", by F. Scott Fitzgerald: the accident with the fourth crook that should be in the first scene, that reminded the director something. Well, in the original story, something simillar happened to Pat (but I won't tell what it was, otherwise I'll be a spoiler to someone who doesn't know the story wants to read it!).
And so we're coming closer to the end of this story! All the unanswered questions will be absolutely cleared up on the next chapter. Why did Kaoru leave the cast? Will they be able to save the show? How will Pat end up with his job? Will they succeed in trying to get along without Kaoru? If you ever want to know, wait for the next -and last- chapter.