Listening to the Radio
Chapter 2: Vincent
a/n: Okay, before I continue to ruin some things for ya, I guess I'd hafta thank the Flower Girl and Evilkitty, for being the first 2 reviewers. Thankies!
Yeah. Once again, the disclaimer: I do not own anything. But. My. Diseased. Pink. Brain. And my lovely can of Ketchup Fries. Yamza!
Other notes: This has some RE3 in it. If ya haven't played it yet, or have no intention of playing it whatsoever, I'm not sure if you'll understand this. And, sorry if the first chapter had errors when it came to the lyric part. I hope this one turns out a lot better!
The FF7 van thing was seen parked in Caltex with a miserable looking brunette dude muttering silently to himself, while some others were prancing about in the gas station. (guess who he was…)
Vincent crossed his arm and claw over his chest. "I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life….." he thought, and at the same time, mumbling, "More… nightmares…. I cannot take it!!!!!" He stopped this after a while, then resumed after he caught a glance of Cid H. yelling at the clerk for "pissing in his tea". "Sigh… Lucrecia… what have I done to you to deserve this?" he asked. How that guy always seems to bring the subject unto Lucrecia, I don't know… too subtle.
"Hey, guys, if you all are done, let's go!" he heard Cloud yell. Vincent then murmured again about "sitting beside a bear while listening to Mandy Moore…"
(after 10 minutos…)
Cid H. started the car.
"Hey, how come you're driving again?!" Yuffie whined.
"A-cause I'm the pilot, $#@* hippie!!!" he replied in a gentleman way.
"Hmph. Just cause I like rainbows doesn't mean I'm a hippie…"
"Let's just go!" Cloud said.
They settled in for a while, then noticed a girl running up to them while yelling something.
"Hey, you chumps know who that girl is?" Sephiroth said, pointing at the shouting girl with flowers.
"No, but I think she wants to say something…" said Tifa.
"You don't say…" Sephiroth said, sarcastically.
Cloud saw the girl scribbling a note, then tying it to a rock. "Hey, Cid, stop the car!"
"No! I ain't stoppin' it for some hippie sellin' flowers!"
Barret saw the girl throw the rock. "Duck, ya foo's!"
The rock crashed through the window. Fortunately, nobody was hit by the rock… well, maybe Vincent was, who wasn't listening to the others bickering about a flower girl with a rock… yes, he might be hit by the rock, on account that he fell unconscious…
"GASP! Vince's been hit by a rock!" … you don't say.
Sephiroth picked up the note. "Hmmm… 'To Silver haired guy, yer supposed to be dead… death to Mandy Moore… from The Flower Girl'…"
Cid H. said, "&*^%! I'm not alone, after all!"
"Yeah, Sephiroth, how come you're alive? We killed you, right?" asked Cloud.
"Uuummm… it's a secret…"
SEPHIROTH's THOUGHT BALLOON:
Sephiroth: Whaddya mean, I can't go to heaven or hell?
Some heavenly dude: Since your life was so full of sins, shame and radical ambitions, you can't die till you do something humiliating. It's the only punishment we could think of.
Sephiroth: Hmph. What humiliating thing do I have to do? I can't stand living with those rabid fan girls any longer…
SHD: Well, we figured that you should do a One-man Hamlet stage play, a music video by a song from Blink 182, and… at least an hour of Chocobo Racing with Cloud.
Sephiroth: Damn. That's more than one thing!
SHD: Too bad, bishonen boy. Take it or leave it.
Sephiroth: After I do all those things, do I get to go to heaven?
SHD: It depends… if you get us to laugh our chicken wings off. Which you can't eat, by the way. I can read your evil, twisted thoughts.
Sephiroth: …d'oh!
Red XIII broke Sephiroth's thoughts. "Hey, is Vincent still breathing?"
Everyone (except the pilot) looked at Vincent. He was still alive, thank you very much.
"Whoo! Close call! Let's listen to some sounds, shall we?" Before anyone could protest, Yuffie turned on the FM. This time, The Cranberries came out singing.
"Another head hangs lowly…"
"Gyaaah! &*^%!!!!" With that, Cid Highwind switched the radio off.
"Hey! I happen to like that song!!!!" Tifa protested.
"Too bad! If I'm gonna have ta drive, it's gonna be in complete silence! Ya hear?! Crazy ^%$#..."
"Hmph. Nobody forced you to drive…" muttered everyone else's brain… except maybe for Vincent's brain, which began to dream… stuff…
Vincent moaned a little. He moderately opened his eyes and saw what he recognized to be… a dark, damp basement, with a buncha coffins at the side and one at the center.
"… HOME!!!" he happily thought. But, his happy thought was disturbed, when he realized that it was completely bloody and full of decapitated bodies.
"…. My GOD!!!" he shouted out loud. He straightened up and took a look around. Trying hard not to splatter his expensive never-rusting gold-plated boots with blood, he tiptoed across puddles and corpses. He almost stumbled clumsily, however, when he saw a pale woman… hanging from a massive cobweb, and staring blankly into space.
He gaped at it. "damn. This isn't MY basement… is it?" he thought. Welcome to the world, Vince.
Suddenly, the cobweb dropped some shiny thing. Vincent picked it up, being a curious rpg character and all. He saw that it was a gun. A gun with a nameplate on it, actually.
"Jill Valentine… S.T.A.R.S. Member # 17732456… what the… VALENTINE?!" he said. He observed the woman again. Yup, short red or brown hair… scantily clad… with more guns strapped to her arms and legs… He concluded that this woman must be his descendant or something… (hey, she uses guns too…) or probably just stole his last name for the fun of it. But, as he was observing Jill, he can't help but notice the fact that a bass guitar was playing, louder and louder. Then, when it was loud enough for every idiot to hear, Jill suddenly looked up and started to sing.
"Another head hangs lowly
Child is slowly taken…"
Before Vincent could scream out "Oh my lowrd a DEAD BODY is SINGING IN MY BASEMENT!!!!" (lowrd not misspelled…) he heard a low groan behind him. Then, not wanting to scream and ruin his poise, he just used Jill's gun to shoot its head clean off. But, his eyes widened when he realized that it was a zombie child…
"And the violence caused such silence
Who are we mistaken?..."
Vincent contemplated on his past action. Before he could do anything else, silhouettes, or ghosts, or a great illusion of the dead members of the ShinRa (Pres., Rufus, Hojo, etc… ya know?!) appeared near the dead undead child, and laughed at both of them. Vincent was angered. Really angered. So, he shot the illusions silly. But, being illusions, the bullets went through them. Then, he saw them talking, without voices. Creepy.
"But you see, it's not me
It's not my family
In your head, in your head
They are fighting!..."
Vincent turned to the singing S.T.A.R.S. member, whatever that is, and asked in a dramatic way, "Why?" He received a cool FMV as a reply. He saw a part of Jill's life flash before his eyes. He saw her running through ruins of a city that looked as advanced as Midgar, saw her fighting more zombies, saw her cursing "Umbrella", saw her fighting a tall zombie dude in Sephiroth clothing with a Spanish guy…
"… man, maybe she IS my descendant…"
"With their tanks,
And their guns,
And their guns,
And their bombs,
In your head, in your head,
They are crying!..."
Vincent, who was still gaping at the FMV that flashed, suddenly was befuddled by more roars behind him. He turned around and saw zombies, zombies and more of the same. Not knowing what else to do but to shoot, he shot. And frantically. But, nothing seems to damage those things. The zombies moved closer… and closer…
… then was discombobulated by several grenades, gunshots and etc. by soldiers behind them. Vincent recognized the soldiers as ShinRa SOLDIERs. Others, he didn't recognize, but they had a round symbol stitched at the back of their uniforms.
"We're here to save lives," they said. Then, they just left the basement, leaving a trail of blood behind them.
"In your head, in your head,
Zombie"
Vincent held his head. "That must be it; I must be dreaming… more nightmares… I can't TAKE IT!!!!" he suddenly had the urge to hiss, and growl, and he swiped at the new recruit zombies with his claw. More and more undead citizen appeared, till he was completely surrounded. He felt desperate.
He expected that he would turn into one of his beast forms, but no. He was still the same old scrawny Valentine. Too bad, really. He looked back at the hordes of those smelly things, and saw himself, along with the Galean Beast, the Hellmasker, the other one (I can't remember! .) and Chaos, with the zombie crowd.
"What's in your head, in your head
Zombie!
Oh…"
Suddenly, the zombies stopped. They just… stopped. Vincent raised an eyebrow at them. "What the hell is going to happen now?" he thought. He had to ask.
A really really large zombie wearing Sephiroth's clothes (okay, it was sort of different in design, but it's black, has a skirt thing and is leather!) jumped in front of Vincent, roaring like there was no tomorrow, with icky disgusting tentacles sprouting here and there. This caused the clawed man to scream bloody hell (but, for some strange reason, not like a little girly man) and to shoot wildly and spontaneously.
The really really large zombie roared, screamed and fell down on his knees. (I know, faulty parallelism… heck, I don't know!) While he, or it was struggling to not bleed purple blood, the thing suddenly morphed into someone Vincent knows very well. Sephiroth.
The morphed Sephiroth looked up at him, hissed, and died. Vincent looked at it, and watched as it vanished. He looked up at the Jill thing… and saw that she was laughing. Evilly, at that.
"You…" before Vincent could make another blow with his claw, he saw that Jill morphed too-into Lucrecia.
"OH MY GOD!!!" he screamed. Lucrecia thing looked up at him, pain etched in her features. Then, she morphed into another woman-I think- Jenova.
Now, this really creeped Vincent out of his wits. He stumbled backwards, his head hitting the floor. A thousand voices blended horribly in his head. Then, he saw a blurry, flying Cait Sith thingie.
"Hey, Vince, wake up!!!" it said. Then, Cait the fairy slapped Vincent's face repeatedly.
"Vincent! VINCENT!!!!!!"
"Huh? Wha….?"
"Wake up! You're starting to drool!!!! On my shoulder, even!"
He blinked furiously, and recognized Yuffie was yelling at him for misplacing his saliva on her shoulder. The others laughed.
"… Where are we? We're not in my basement, are we?"
"Of course not, you &($#@* drooling yerk! We're on the road!"
Vincent rubbed the side of his head.
"Yo, Vince, you all right? Did the nightmares finally get ya?" asked Cait Sith.
"No, you nasty fairy. Must you torment me even in my sleep?"
This response got everybody else confused, especially Cloud, who dreamt of the stupid fairy too.
a/n: This turned out to be one horrible music video than a humorous one.
So, did you like it? Hope the RE3 reference didn't confuse you and all…
Leave a review on yer way out! ^_^