Chapter 7: The Aftermaths of Getting Wasted

~~~

Teal'c quickly made his way into the dining room, thinking that Jack would take Sam to the living room first-he did not think it best for Sam to see him yet, especially in the state she was is. Just as he settled, however, the door reopened with a bang, and Sam and Jack walked through, Sam leaning on Jack heavily, rubbing her eyes.

"Please never let me drink again," she whispered, and he laughed slightly.

"Why? It's funny, trust me…" Sam looked up to see Teal'c and she stopped suddenly.

"Teal'c?!" she shouted, shocked.

"Good morning, Samantha Carter," he greeted, rather uncomfortably.

"Surprise," Jack announced sarcastically. "See, it's a very late birthday gift-a Teal'c you can finally call your own."

"Alright, what are you two doing here?" How did you get in?"

"Obviously you remember nothing that happened last night," Jack observed.

"Not true, I know that I got piss-assed drunk."

"I said remember, not know."

"Oh God, I don't want to argue, it hurts my head," she complained, flunking herself down into a chair and resting her head against the table.

"I'm going to go make my world famous 'O'Neill Offensive Cure for Hangovers'. Teal'c, sit there with Sam, will you, and just… yeah." Jack made his way over to the connected kitchen and began to flap around, looking around for the ingredients for his hangover remedy. Teal'c sat next to Sam and watched as she squirmed in her seat uncomfortably.

"Why do people become drunk?" Teal'c asked. "Why is drinking large amounts of alcohol worth this?" Sam glanced up at him.

"I don't know. I guess the reality blur is worth the hangover." She pushed her hand through her golden hair and shut her eyes tightly, before standing up suddenly.

"I'm gonna throw up," she muttered, before she ran off in the direction of the bathroom. Jack and Teal'c shared a look.

"I shall go with her," Teal'c offered, and Jack nodded and threw the ingredients he had collected into a blender as Teal'c went off.

~~~

Sam glanced up from the toilet bowl as Teal'c entered the tiled room and shook her head as he knelt down beside her.

"Please, Teal'c, I don't want you to see this," she uttered in between heaves. He shook his own head and pulled back her hair.

"It is alright, it does not bother me."

"Well it bothers me!" she said loudly, stopping for a moment.

"I mean, what could you possibly think of me after seeing me throw up? You're probably completely and utterly disgusted and…"

"Major Carter, listen to me," Teal'c said. "It does not bother me. You do not bother me. I have seen much worse." Tears began to run down Sam's face as she went down again, but instead of vomit, a sob came out instead. Teal'c blinked.

"Samantha, what is wrong?" he asked, perplexed.

"I'm so pathetic," she choked out. "Look at me. I'm at a toilet bowl throwing my guts up because I binged last night-in front of you, Daniel and my CO."

"If it is any consolation, Daniel Jackson was drunk also."

"And now you, one of my closest friends and colleagues, is watching me be sick."

"If I am one of your closest friends and colleagues, then why should I mind?" There was a silence as Sam just stared up at him, her eyes glistening, thinking hard. Suddenly, she threw her arms around him.

"Thank you," she uttered, and Teal'c rubber her back, thinking it wise just not to say anything at all.

~~~

A minute or so later, Sam freshened up and Teal'c led her back into the dining room. Jack looked up at them from the joint kitchen.

"Ah, welcome back," he greeted. "You're just in time-I just finished making my hangover remedy." He held out a glass and Sam stared at it in disgust. The glass was filled with a thick, red and green liquid. Teal'c stared at it closely.

"It does not look very appealing," he said blatantly.

"Yeah, I agree with Teal'c. You don't honestly expect me to drink that, do you?"

"Hey, don't knock it until you try it," he said, and he waved it annoyingly underneath her nose.

"Come on, Sam, don't you trust me? It'll help with the hangover, I swear." Sam took the glass reluctantly before sniffing it, then sipping some down. She gagged straight afterwards.

"Aargh, are you trying to poison me?" she asked weakly, pushing the glass back into his hand and backing away.

"I know it might not taste very nice, but it helps."

"I think I'd rather have the illness than the cure."

"So you'd rather walk around with that splitting headache instead of being… completely headache free?"

"Yes."

"Here," Jack said, and he tried to force it down her throat. She in return tried to shoo him away.

"No, Sir, I don't want it…"

"Take it."

"I can't stand it, Sir, it tastes like something that's come out from a dog's ass."

"And how do you know what that tastes like?"

"It's a figure of speech, Sir…" Teal'c watched on with increased interest as the battle continued.

"Come on, afterwards I'll… I'll give you candy so the taste will go away."

"No!"

"Samantha Dianne Carter, stop being stubborn and just take the Goddamn drink already!" Sam blinked and hesitated, before taking the glass off of him.

"This better work, Sir," she uttered, before gulping it all down. She handed the glass to him and paused for a moment, before glaring up at him.

"It isn't working…"

"It doesn't just work straight away," he retorted, and he gently pushed her in the direction of the bathroom.

"Now go and have a shower. We have to be at the airport in an hour at the latest."

~~~

Fifteen minutes later Sam stumbled back out of the bathroom, looking horrified.

"Why didn't anyone tell me that I looked like this?" she asked, almost screaming. Teal'c and Jack, who was making pancakes or something, shared a look.

"That you looked like what?"

"Like this! Thank God I managed to get my hair back to normal, but look at my face! Look at my Goddamn face!"

"What about it?" Jack asked innocently.

"My eyes are bloodshot! I have heavy, heavy bags underneath my eyes! My lips are cracked, and for some reason I have a scar on my right cheek!"

"Don't question me."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked, and she walked over to a nearby mirror and studied her reflection sadly.

"Can't you just… I dunno, put make up over it or something?" Jack asked.

"No, no, no, it won't work," she moaned, and she fell down into a chair and put her head in her hands.

"You're making a big deal out of nothing," Jack said, sitting down beside her. He put a plate in front of her.

"Come on, eat. Keep your strength up." Sam looked up at him suddenly.

"Why isn't that hangover remedy working yet?" she snapped. Teal'c looked up at Jack to see how he would explain this.

"Well… it works on me."

"We have very different bodies, if you haven't noticed."

"What? Apart from that you have… a different…" Sam tilted her head at him slightly as he struggled to find the right words.

"…Kind of… stuff it, the only difference is that you have boobs and a vagina and I have a dick." Teal'c choked. He quickly buried his face into a nearby newspaper, his face obviously reddening. The newspaper was upside down. Sam stared up at Jack incredulously.

"I… I bed your pardon…?"

"Look, I'm too tired to care. I'm treating you equally, isn't that what you've always wanted? Now eat your food." Sam began to pick at the pancakes, then looked slowly back up at Jack.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you cook these, what did you cook them with and for how long did you cook them?"

"Don't complain." Jack sat down across from her and began to eat his own pancakes. Teal'c had politely refused the offering, for the same reason Sam was having doubts.

"Look, Sam, here's the plan for this morning."

"I'm listening."

"We go drop Teal'c off at the base, then go down to my place to pick my stuff up and drop my car off. Then we catch a cab to the airport." Sam nodded mindlessly, then dropped the piece of pancake that was in her hand back onto her plate and stood upright with a jolt.

"Oh my God, I haven't packed yet," she said, and she ran over to the bedroom. Jack sighed heavily, and both he and Teal'c got up and went after her.

"I can't believe you haven't packed yet," Jack said, shaking his head. Sam moaned.

"Well, I didn't really get a chance to, did I?"

"What about after you left? What did you do then?"

"I…" Sam paused for a moment during her frantic search for her suitcase.

"… I can't remember," she ended pathetically, and she continued on. She pulled her case from behind a cupboard triumphantly.

"'Kay, could you two please help me?"

"Do what?" Jack asked.

"Chuck some clothes into my suitcase."

"And how the hell are we supposed to know what you want to wear?"

"Who cares what I want to wear? Just throw randomly!" She quickly pulled out a pile of clothes from her closet and quickly threw random garments into her luggage. Jack shrugged at Teal'c and they quickly followed suit.

~~~

After a frantic draw, Sam snapped her suitcase with a snap and led the way out into the hall.

"What time is it currently?" Teal'c asked. Jack glanced at his watch.

"12:45."
"We'd better get going if we want to catch that plane in time," Sam commented. Jack glanced over at the dining table.

"Aren't we going to clean that up?"

"Ahh, let the rats do it." They quickly left and jogged down the hall to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Sam pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her pocket and slipped them over her eyes. Jack and Teal'c looked at her slowly.

"Why are you wearing those sunglasses at this present moment in time?"

"Since the hangover cure hasn't kicked in yet…" She shot a furtive look at Jack.

"I must wear these glasses to protect myself from light."

"A person with a hangover is a bit like a vampire," Jack observed. "But why are you wearing them now? It's the middle of the night. You don't need them." The elevator doors pinged open and they all walked out.

"It's better to be safe than sorry."

"You're… weird," Jack ended, and he took her suitcase and threw it in the backseat.

"Okay, get in," he ordered. Sam looked up at him.

"Why do I automatically have to sit in the back?"

"Because I like Teal'c better. Come on, in." Sam grumbled something that distinctly sounded like 'asshole', and Teal'c went around to the passenger's seat.

"Are you sure this is okay?" he asked. "I do not mind sitting in the back."

"Ahh, who the hell cares."

~~~

"I have never studied the insides of an automobile properly before," Teal'c said, running his hand over the dashboard. He pressed a button and the glove compartment fell open.

"What is this?" he asked, holding up a tape. Jack looked at him and grinned.

"That, my friend, is a tape. Here, I'll show you."

"What tape is it?" Sam asked from the back, staring out the window. He turned to her, his grin even wider.

"Johnny Cash." Sam groaned deeply.

"Ugh, Johnny Cash? Honestly, Sir…" The grin disappeared.

"Oh, yeah? And who do you listen to?"

"People that are better than Johnny Cash!"

"One name! Give me one name!"

"Coolio."

"Coolio? Who the hell is that?" he asked.

"What time frame are you living in?"

"What kind of music do you listen to?" Johnny Cash music suddenly began to blare out of the car speakers.

"Is this the Johnny Cash you were referring to?" Teal'c asked, and Jack turned the volume down.

"I thought you didn't know how to work those things," he commented, and he turned back to Sam.

"Now, what were we arguing about again? Oh yeah, Johnny Cash rules!" Teal'c screwed up his face.

"The music is not good," he interrupted. Sam grinned and turned away, and the conversation was over. Jack stopped the tape.

"It's obvious I'm the only one with good music taste here."

~~~

They arrived at the base in next to no time after the 'Johnny Cash' incident.

"Alright, you should maybe try ringing Daniel at about… say, 10:00 am. You might have to get Janet to help you with that. Or you could get someone to go wit h you to his place, but he might be a little cranky to see you," Jack explained. Teal'c nodded.

"I understand."

"Good luck with everything, see you in a week," Jack said. Teal'c nodded again.

"And Teal'c?… thanks." Teal'c bowed slightly as Jack smiled.

"It is okay, as you would put it." As Jack pulled out of the empty parking lot, Sam stuck her head out of the wound down window, her glasses slipped on top of her head, and waved out at him.

"See you soon, Teal'c!" she shouted, and as they rounded a corner, Teal'c lifted his arm slowly and waved back.

~~~

A/N: A few things with this chapter… I'm not sure what Sam's middle name is. I was told by a few sources that it was actually Dianne, so Dianne it shall be (or was it Deanne? I can't remember). Teal'c and Jack helping to 'choose' what Sam's going to wear? Trust me… that will lead to interesting things on the cruise, believe me (muwahahaha!) And with the Johnny Cash thing… I'm not a country/western fan myself but I thought that Jack would be, so I had to choose the only country/western singer that I knew of-Johnny Cash (my dad listened to him lol). So, uhm, yeah! The story will probably become a little less interesting, but it's gonna be awesome on the cruise, I swear.

Trust me.