Chapter 17: The Discussion

"Why didn't you just go before, Major?"

"We had the egg and spoon race, and I didn't get a chance to go."

"Didn't you already go this morning?" Sam paused for a moment.

"I-I have a small bladder." The duo were located in the bedroom still sitting on the bed beside each other, Jack with a look of hopelessness on his face. He had tried endlessly to undo the handcuffs binding them together, but to no prevail-in fact, they just seemed to get tighter.

"Well… oh, God!" Jack stamped down his foot on the ground in frustration.

"Sir, calm down, it isn't that bad." He glanced up at her.

"It isn't that bad. It isn't that bad? How bad does it have to be?"

"All I need to do is… go to the toilet. It's not like I have to take a bath or anything…" Jack perked up slightly at these words.

Sam taking a bath? Sam taking a bath while handcuffed to me, now THAT'S a nice thought…

"Sir? Sir, snap out of it. Sir…" She snapped his fingers in front of his dazed and perky face, slightly worried.

"Sir? Are you okay?" He turned to her, still dazed slightly.

"Hmm? What?" Sam blinked, before continuing.

"As I was saying, Sir, it isn't that bad! We just need to figure out a way how I can go to the toilet in front of you…"

"Wait a second, who said anything about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not standing there in the bathroom while you go to the toilet!" There was a long pause.

"What the… Sir, you're going to have to, because I don't see us having any other immediate choices!"

"Yeah, we do-you could always just hold it in."

"For 24 hours? I am not holding it in for 24 hours, Sir, that's… dangerous!"

"Dangerous? Carter, we've been through much worse, I think you can handle holding it in."

"I'd like to see you try holding it in for 24 hours, Sir, I don't think you'd be very happy!"

"Carter, it's just a matter of self-discipline. Hold it in."

"Sir, YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME HOLD IT IN!" Her voice rang through his ears and he flinched. Looking into her face, he suddenly felt rather uncomfortable and even slightly… scared… her face was contorted in anger and she looked as if she had reached the end of her tether and was about to ring his neck.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going to make you hold it in. I'm sorry," he said, treading very carefully. She ran the hand that wasn't handcuffed through her hair, before shaking her head.

"That's alright, Sir. Just making sure that you realize I'm not going to wait 24 hours to go to the toilet!" She hissed out the last few words and Jack audibly swallowed, feeling uncomfortable again. He had never really seen this side of Sam before (although he did remember other Sams… some of those memories didn't particularly *thrill* him…) and he didn't really like it. He didn't even know she *had* this side.

"Alright, Samantha," he said slowly, making sure he made no sudden movements. It scared him that she looked ready to kill.

"What is your plan exactly?"

"I go to the toilet! Simple!" Jack held up his hand that was handcuffed to hers, indicating that they were stuck together.

"Hello! Remember that we can't be separated from each other? Remember, Samantha Carter?"

"That doesn't matter to me anymore," she snapped. "When you need to go, you need to go! If you don't let me go, I'll hurt you… or at least annoy you to your death anyway."

"Right, Carter," he teased, bringing his face up closer to hers.

"I'd just annoy you right back."

"If you don't let me go to the toilet I'll kiss you!" she said, poking his nose and instantly regretting it.

YOU IDIOT, SAM!!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!!!

"Well, maybe I won't let you go now then," Jack replied, and he slapped himself a few times in his head.

Jack, Jack, Jack. I thought we had seen the worse with your reaction to the bikini. Very well done, I applaud you, you jackass.

"No!" Sam shouted quickly. "Alright… I'll get Teal'c to kiss you instead!"

Any sexual 'feelings' Jack had been having were suddenly abolished as he imagined Teal'c wearing a bikini.

Shudder.

"Alright, Carter, you've won me over," he said finally, too rapt by her to remember exactly what they were talking about. She stood up, relieved-for a moment there she thought that she was about to pee her pants.

"Okay, come on, let's go," she said, tugging on his arm. He blinked a few times.

"What?"

"I'm going to the toilet. You just agreed to it."

"Oh, right." As she dragged him away, he sighed to himself sadly.

At least there's a chance you might see…

"Shut up, brain," he mumbled. It was enough that his 2IC had just threatened to kiss him if he didn't obey her…

~~~

A/N: Thanks a lot, Kadsan, for sending me that damned picture of Teal'c! That's where that Teal'c wearing a bikini thing came from, y'know! The whole thing didn't really turn out the way I would have liked it, but… oh well… hmm. Maybe it will change, not sure yet, but I guess it's alright enough so far.