A Day in the White House
It was a beautiful day. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and all around the world there was a feeling of togetherness.
Enter the White house, where chaos reigned…as usual. A priceless vase flew through the air. A figure dove to catch it.
"Presea, please! This is an extremely old Babylonian urn! Have patience!" An enraged roar split the silence.
"MOKONAAAAAAAAAA!"
A white ball of energy bounded around the room, keeping just out of reach of the furious maid. President Eagle Vision sighed, and lunged to catch another piece of art. The door was flung open, and Eagle's advisors burst into the melee. Clef struggled to make himself heard over the commotion. "What is going on here?!" No one noticed him.
Geo sighed, then thundered, "Stop this at once!"
All activity ground to a halt and everyone turned to him. "That's better."
Eagle stood, brushing himself off, and taking control of the situation. "Now, Presea, what seems to be the problem?"
"This—this POWDERPUFF completely destroyed all the paperwork that I spent hours arranging!"
Mokona looked up innocently. Eagle looked down at it.
"Mokona, this isn't the first time this has happened. I think you should go down to the jail and see what the warden can think up for you to do." If possible, Mokona paled.
"Puu…puu…?"
"Yes." Eagle continued to look down at the creature until it left. Then he sighed. "I do hate to do that." Geo clapped him on the shoulder.
"Don't worry about that." He consulted his schedule. "There's a tour group at 2:00, another one at 3:00, then dinner with the commanders at 7:00. You'd better get ready."
Eagle nodded, and left the room with his advisors, replacing the jade miniature on his way out.
Mokona padded its way dismally to the jail. There was no worst punishment then coming here. Ahead, he could hear yelling, though who was doing it was unknown. As it got closer, it could make out words.
"I'm going to kill you all! Humans are imperfect, immoral, animals!"
"Burn! Burn it all! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"I will destroy Inu-Yasha and take the Tetsusaiga!"
A redhead sitting nearby threw a rock at the last speaker idly. "Sure you will." She looked up as Mokona inched into view. "You get in trouble again?"
"Puu…"
"Well, I've got plenty of things for you to do. Scrub the floor, feed the prisoners, and polish the bars…" She smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Mokona shrank back. Inside one of the cells, Knives threw a rock at the warden. "Nothing can stop me! I alone will remain! Vash, you fool! Humans are worthless!" Asuka stood up.
"I've had enough of you."
There was a brief scuffle, and when it ended, Knives was dangling upside down by his shoes, which were wedged into a crack in the wall. His eyes were distinctly unfocused. Asuka brushed off her hands and glared at the other two. "Anyone else?" Dilandau and Sessho-Maru shook their heads silently.
"Good." Asuka sat down again. Mokona quickly went to get a bucket and mop. The sooner it finished, the sooner it could get out of here.
Hikaru surveyed the group she was going to be taking. "Is everyone here? Would you answer when I call out your names? Tiva?"
The first author grinned. "Here."
"Carolyn?"
The second author jumped slightly. "Here!"
"Maximilion Pegasus?"
A man in a red suit smiled evilly. "Here."
"Mizuki Kaho?"
A woman with long red hair looked peacefully over the group. "Here."
Hikaru consulted her list again. "A party of four: Jadite, Nephrite, Zoicite, and Malachite?"
The strangely dressed group chorused in eerie harmony. "Here."
"Well, that's everyone. Let's get going, then!" As they walked up the steps, she began explaining the history of the White House, and the many presidents that had occupied it. Tiva and Carolyn's grins got bigger as the entered the building. Then suddenly, they dashed towards the reception desk. Behind it sat an enormous man, typing up a report on the computer. He looked up at them, and asked,
"Do you have an appointment?"
"'s" squeaked the authors, looking up at him.
Lantis glanced down at his computer. "I don't see—" Tiva quickly pulled out a laptop and typed a few sentences. Lanitis's gaze unfocused for a moment, then he said, "Ah, yes. The President will see you shortly." He pressed a button, and another man, equally huge, stepped into view. The two authors swiveled their necks to look up at him. Lafarga looked back down impassively, then pulled a scanner out of nowhere, and ran it up and down both girls.
"Just a weapons check. Ok, you're clear." Another person appeared out of the hallway, and both authors squealed slightly. Eriol nodded to them.
"If you'll come with me…" He gestured down the way he'd come.
The authors traded huge grins and followed Eriol.
Eagle looked up at the approaching schemers as Eriol led them into the room.
"Yes?" questioned the president.
"Ahh…" Carolyn collapsed into a happy puddle.
"Well, now she can die happy," Tiva remarked with a sigh. Eagle gave them both a quizzical look.
"Who are you?" Carolyn unpuddled and grabbed Tiva's laptop. Quickly, she wrote a few sentences with a grin. "Aha! Carolyn and Tiva! We have been expectantly awaiting your arrival! You should have let us know when you were coming. We would have sent the limo." Carolyn fainted then got up again and gave Tiva a sharp elbow to the ribs.
"Why didn't you tell the man? I can't take you anywhere!"
"Well, considering that this is a recent plot device, I don't see how I could have!"
"You could have started it over, the right way. Duh!"
Eagle gave a slight cough, and both girls turned to him with expressions of adoration.
"Yes, Eagle my love?" Carolyn questioned. Tiva jabbed her sharply. "Ow!"
"Never mind her. What time was the dinner scheduled for?"
"Umm…"
Geo popped up out of thin air, said, "7:00," then disappeared just as quickly.
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but what was that? Never mind...I don't think I want to know…" Tiva said. Eagle nodded absently.
"My advisors have a way of appearing just when I need them. Quite handy, really."
"Nifty-Neato!" exclaimed Carolyn, with starry eyes. Eagle looked down as Clef appeared by his side and handed him a note.
"Ah, yes. I need to greet the tour group. Would you like to come with me?"
"YES!!!!!!! I mean…yes, we would be delighted," said both girls simultaneously. Then they looked at each other and both yelled "Jinx!" at the same time as well. Eagle gave them a strange look, and murmured,
"Very well then. Lets go, shall we?" He jerked slightly as the girls each latched onto his arms.
"Let go, Tiva! He's mine!"
"Is not! Who came up with this idea anyway!?"
"I did! DUH!"
"Did not! I was the one that got the idea of Eagle for president…"
With a resigned sigh, Eagle left the room, towing the two bickering girls.
"And this is the Green Room. It's a room, it's green, hence the name. Any questions?" Hikaru bounced down the hall, pointing out the little details. "Hey Eagle! I mean, Mr. President!" she genkily shouted. Eagle nodded cordially at her, and bestowed a winning smile at the tour group.
"Hello Hikaru, everyone. I hope it's all going well," he said, causing the authors to glare at the group and tighten their grips on his arms.
"Yep, yep, yep! It's going great, President Eagle!" Hikaru bubbled happily, while hopping up and down on one foot.
"How much sugar did she have this morning?" murmured Tiva to Carolyn, sotto voce.
"I have no idea, but I have a feeling it's a lot," Carolyn whispered back.
The tour group watched them in silence.
"So, uh, where are you all from? Someplace quiet? Hehehe…" Carolyn asked and giggled nervously at the silent assemblage. The answers were given nonchalantly.
"Tomoeda."
"I'm from England, but I'm currently living in Japan."
"The Negaverse."
"Ah…I see…sorta…" Tiva said.
"Um, ditto." Carolyn wittily added.
Eagle sighed inwardly. It was going to be a long evening.
Deep in the dungeon, er, jail, Mokona scrubbed half-heartedly at the floor until a shriek from Asuka sent it scurrying. Dilandau was over in his corner, calling for vengeance against Van Fanel and piteously moaning, "cheek, cheek." Sessho-Maru was clawing at the wall in a half-hearted attempt to escape. Knives was curled up in a ball, muttering murderous threats.
Asuka finally yelled, "Will you all just SHUT-UP before I have to get violent!!!" which effectively put a stop to all conversations, if they could be titled that. Asuka got back to painting her toenails blood red.
Mokona plodded miserably towards her, and uttered a frightened "Puu." Asuka looked up.
"You're done? Fine, you can go now-" Mokona was gone. Asuka shrugged, and started to hum. Almost all the prisoners started to moan, but were silenced mid-way by a death-glare to rival Heero Yuy's. Life down there returned to normal, well, as normal as you can get down there, what with three psychotic prisoners and an angry German.
Hours later, the guests started to arrive. Standing at the entrance to the White House, Zazu grinned with anticipation. All those beautiful cars…and he was the valet. Life was good. Up until Eagle reminded him (with Geo and Lantis looming behind him) not to do anything "rash" with the expensive vehicles.
The first car, a pink limo, glided to a stop at the curb. Relena Peacecraft Darlian stepped out gracefully and smiled at him. He grinned back, and practically shoved her driver out so he could park the car. Relena shook her head slightly, sighed, then brightened when she saw Eagle.
"Really, Mr. President, it's been to long. We should get together more often," she greeted.
"What a good idea," replied Eagle, smiling at her. Carolyn glared ruthlessly at her, until Tiva leaned across Eagle and whispered, "Relax, she has Heero, remember?" Carolyn brightened, smiling impishly up at Eagle. Eagle sweatdropped, and would have backed away, but for the fact that the two rabid fan-girls were clinging onto him like limpets.
Zazu ran up, just in time for the next car to pull up.
The door was flung open, and Quatre sprang from the interior with a smile, followed sedately by Dorothy. She graced them with a smile, although since it was Dorothy, it was more like a smirk. A pretty smirk, but a smirk nonetheless. Eagle greeted them, and led them inside.
The dining room was already laid out when Eagle and his guests entered. All the people who worked at the White House were already there as well, excluding the criminals. Tiva and Carolyn dashed to secure seats next to Eagle. As she fought with Carolyn for the rights to sit on Eagle's right, Tiva dropped her laptop. Eriol entered, and promptly tripped over it.
"What's this?" He discreetly left the room, taking the laptop with him, then activated it. Words scrolled down the screen. As he read, his typical evil look slid into place. This was perfect.
The food was being served and it was going smoothly, considering. The waiters moved between the guests, filling glasses and setting down food. Small talk floated around the room as everyone dug in. Vice President Touya looked up the table at the two authors, and murmured to the Head of Security, "Who are they?" Tomoyo cast a look in their direction, then whispered,
"They're the President's guests. I saw it on his schedule." Touya looked unconvinced, but disregarded it. He then turned to the person on his other side, the navy (heehee) commander, Tasuki, and discovered they didn't have a lot in common.
In his office, Eriol slowly typed in a few sentences, chuckling softly.
Yue, the Air Force commander, was quietly conversing with his second officer, Van Fanel, when he heard a popping noise, and then saw Van's gaze slowly move to the top of his head. All conversation hushed, and there was a ripple of movement as everyone turned to look. Slowly, he raised a hand to his head, and brushed against something soft and furry.
"What…is on…my head?" he asked with deadly calm. Van choked back a laugh and said,
"B-bunny ears, s-sir." He started to shake with repressed laughter, then gave up. So did the rest of the diners. Laughter echoed throughout the room. Suddenly, similar ears appeared on Clef. He gave a startled gasp and felt up on his head.
"What's going on!?"
"He's got a point," Tiva said to the hysterical Carolyn, who, at the moment, was rolling on the floor. "I'm pretty sure I didn't write this into the story…" she added. Just as she finished speaking, there was a 'ping,' and both the authors sprouted cat ears. "And I'm SURE that I didn't write this!" she finished. By then, Carolyn was crying with mirth, and said,
"I'm a kitty! I'm a KITTY!!! MEOW!"
Tiva rubbed her forehead with a sigh.
Eriol cackled gleefully, then typed a few more lines. Light glinted off his glasses. That was a sure sign that something wonderfully evil was about to happen. Heh.
Geo was trying to find out if Clef's ears were really attached, when he suddenly found himself jerked out of his seat, and dressed in a bright pink tutu. He turned the color of his outfit. Lafarga, on the other hand, had been dressed in a dashing tux, and was being jerkily pulled like a puppet over to Geo. In front of the other diners, they began to waltz together.
"I don't known what you're trying to do, Lafarga, but I suggest you let go. Now." Geo said through gritted teeth.
"You let go!"
"You!"
"I would if I could, believe me!"
"So would I!"
As the two chewed each others head off, Carolyn disappeared from the floor, and reappeared in Lantis's lap.
"Um…hi?" she said quietly, shocked out of her giggles.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"Um…you give appointments for this kinda thing? If so, can I have, oh, say, a couple hundred more?" Carolyn asked hopefully.
"No."
"Okie Dokes, then. How 'bout Eagle?"
"No."
"Drat. It was worth a shot…."
As Carolyn tried to wheedle Lantis into giving her an appointment with either him or Eagle, Tiva left the room, a grim look on her face.
Then, Dorothy found herself suddenly in the president's lap. They both blinked at each other, then Dorothy said demurely, "I wasn't expecting this…"
"Neither was I. Do you think you could get off?"
"I don't seem to be able to, no."
They traded horrified looks. Carolyn glared across the room at Dorothy, with a look of pure hatred across her face.
Tiva stalked down the hallways of the White House, searching each room as she came to it. She had a sneaking suspicion exactly who was doing this, and she intended to extract vengeance.
"ACKKK! HELP ME! GET OFF YOU GREAT BIG LUNK!!!" screamed an irate Clef. "I'M BEING SQUASHED!!!"
"I can't exactly help it, y'know. And I would appreciate it if you stopped screaming in my…spine." Touya defended himself. Across the room, Tomoyo suddenly yelled, for no apparent reason,
"I LOVE ERIOL!!!!" She blushed and slapped her hands over her mouth, mortified. This sent Carolyn into peals of laughter once more until Lantis looked down at her, then she began to quietly cower.
Touya struggled to get off the indignant advisor, to no avail.
"Ouch! Will you quit wiggling?! That hurts!"
"Well, sorry! I thought you would appreciate it if I tried to rectify the situation!"
Tiva approached a door, from where she could hear insane laughter and the clacking of keys. Stealthily, she crept into the room, and whirled the chair around to confront the culprit. Eriol was in the middle of typing a sentence that said 'Then Tasuki floated out of his seat and into the large punch bowl that was-' She grabbed her laptop from him, glaring. "Ok, you're going to get it! Why wasn't I put in Eagle's lap?!" She furiously typed, and Eriol disappeared with a 'pop.' A little SD doll replaced him. Grabbing the doll, she stuffed it into her pocket and typed one sentence.
Then everything went back to normal.
Geo found himself back in his seat, and back in his suit. Lafarga was similarly positioned. The bunny ears disappeared from Yue and Clef's head, and Touya was finally able to get off Clef. Dorothy was sent back to her seat, as was Carolyn, who was still unsuccessful at getting an 'appointment.' She let out a wail.
"Nooo!"
Around the room, everyone breathed sighs of relief. Things seemed to be back to a semblance of normalcy. Suddenly, the door was flung back, and Tiva strode into the room. She went to the head of the table, beckoning Carolyn to come and see. Carolyn left off her pouting and came over, interested.
Tiva plunked the plushie onto the table in front of Eagle, announcing loudly, "Everyone! This is the culprit!" She paused to retrieve a mallet from pillar knows where. "Feel free to take your whacks at him-" She was cut off by the blurs that rushed by her, grabbed the mallet, and beat the stuffing (literally) out of the Eriol plushie. The blurs were revealed to be Geo and Lafarga, giddy smiles mixed with grim determination fixed on their faces. There was a slight "ahem" and they paused to turn around. They were greeted by an insanely calm Tomoyo. She held up a pointy needle that gleamed. "Oooooooo…ahhhh….pretty…." went the large line waiting for a whack at the plushie. Tomoyo politely inquired, with an evil glint in her eye,
"May I?"
Geo and Lafarga obliged, inwardly reminding themselves never to tick Tomoyo off. As Tomoyo calmly stabbed the Eriol doll, Carolyn and Tiva could swear they heard shrieks of, " Help me! I didn't mean it! Forgive me! Owwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!"
"But then again," reflected Carolyn, "it doesn't matter. No way am I getting between an angry Tomoyo with a sharp object and the reason she's ticked off, anyways. In the meantime," she paused to munch on some popcorn that had appeared before her, "this is entertaining!" She leaned over to offer some popcorn to Tiva, who was watching with a satisfied look. "Y'know, Eagle looks kinda lonely over there…I'll go keep him company…don't feel the need to tag along…" Carolyn told Tiva. To which Tiva responded,
"Oh, I feel the need. I don't want to know what would happen to poor Eagle if I left you alone with him…"
"We would live happily without you, that's what," Carolyn retorted and stuck out her tongue.
"That's real mature."
"Unlike you," with a tongue right back.
Little did the two oh-so-mature girls stalking their prey, er, walking over to Eagle, know, but deep in the prison, a revolt was brewing…