The Days in the White House

by Tiva

Two fanfic authors are pulled into their own fic through a programming glitch, and the story proceeds to go crazily awry. Blatent self-insertion.

3. The Second Day in the White House

A Second Day in the White House

It was the next morning. The dining hall showed no sign of last night's drama, save for the mangled remains of what might have, at one time, been a plushie.

The pile of stuffing stirred.

With a groan, the spy known as Eriol turned back into a human. He rubbed his head wearily, and winced as he felt a prick in his side. Tomoyo had used him as a voodoo doll, and he was feeling the effects…heavily. Plus that malleting…But now he knew that he was in a fanfic, and a bad one at that. All he needed was to get his hands on that computer again…

Alarms sounded in the White House, alerting all those of important status, and even some people who didn't know what important status was. Only the two authors, Tiva and Carolyn, were oblivious. They were currently zonked out on couches, but they eventually opened bleary eyes, taking in the scene. What they saw was a frantic President Eagle Vision as he tried to calm everyone down and find out what the heck was going on, flashing red lights, and a fluffball taking advantage of the confusion and adding to it. Tiva sat straight up and exclaimed, "Whoa!" while Carolyn closed her eyes, turned on her side and promptly fell asleep once more. She shot up with a yelp, however, when Tiva gave her a sharp nudge.

"What was that for?!" asked Carolyn, rubbing sore ribs.

"You fell asleep! Didn't you notice the chaos?" Tiva said as way of explanation.

"I'm used to it. I have a brother, remember? This is nothing." Carolyn told her matter-of-factly. Tiva rolled her eyes, then gave Carolyn another nudge as the other author was falling asleep. Again.

"I'm up, I'm up! Sheesh," groused the still sleepy Carolyn. "So, what's the dilliyo?"

"Dilliyo?"

"Dilliyo"

"Riiiight"

"I am. So what's the story?"

"Well, it's an AU, with all our favorite characters as people in the government! You should know that, Carolyn. You did help write it after all!"

"Arg. I meant, what's going on now?" said an exasperated Carolyn. She was tired, therefore cranky, and the day was not looking up.

"Oh. How should I know?" At hearing this, Carolyn slapped her forehead in disgust. Tiva turned and tugged on Vice President Touya's jacket. In response to his glare, she asked in a strong voice with only a hint of tremor in it, "What's going on?" She then added, "Sir."

"The prisoners are revolting." He told her in a flat voice.

"I say, that's a bit harsh! I know they don't bathe all that often, but you don't have to be mean about it!" Carolyn piped in.

"Yeah!" agreed Tiva. Touya gave a long-suffering sigh, before stating in a voice of a man resigned to a horrible fate,

"No, they are rising against us. They are trying to start a revolution. Do. You. Understand?"

"Perfectly," Tiva said. Carolyn, on the other-hand said,

"Well, yeah, I get it, but you can't blame 'em. I wouldn't like living in a jail cell surrounded by other psychos. I would probably do the same thing!" As Tiva and Touya just stared at her with their mouths wide open, she began to get defensive. "Wouldn't you?"

Tiva managed to close her mouth and told her, "Carolyn, these are insane people. Loonies. Crazy. They have killed people. They deserve punishment!! If they get out, they will most likely destroy life as we know it!!"

"Good!" stated Carolyn cheerfully.

"Pardon?" yelled Touya and Tiva simultaneously.

"Don't have to yell," Carolyn rubbed her ears. "I said, 'Good!' I don't think I like life as we know it right now, so I'm up for a little change. Change never hurt anything." Tiva smacked her head with her palm, as Touya resumed his wide-eyed staring.

"What's wrong? You guys O.K?" Carolyn asked, looking rather worried.

"You know what? Never mind. We'll be going now, Vice President," Tiva said hurriedly, tugging a puzzled Carolyn away. Touya shook his head, and kept staring after the retreating figures.

The harried Prez was talking avidly to a nonchalant Asuka over a screen. She was filing her nails and the authors could hear her say, "I was bored, they were boring, and so I suggested that they revolt. What's the biggie?"

They couldn't make out his dazed reply, but instead flung themselves at him, screaming, "EAGLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Asuka was vaguely interested as two flying blurs and the many "Oofs" that resulted knocked the president out of the screens' picture. She shrugged and went back to filing her nails.

Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of the White House, the three escaped convicts crept through rooms that hadn't been used since Abraham Lincoln had been alive. Knives stopped at a branch in the corridor.

"We should go to the armory. I need my gun so I can transform my Angel Arm!" Dilandau shook his head.

"No, we're going to go to the garage. That's where they parked my guy melef!" Sessho-Maru added his opinion.   

"We should get out of here! The sooner that I leave, the sooner I can get the Tetsusaiga!" Both Knives and Dilandau glared at him.

"You really want to leave these people alive?" demanded Knives hotly. "They all should die!"

"Especially Van Fanel!" exclaimed Dilandau. Sessho-Maru glared.

"If I say we go, we go!"

"Oh yeah! I say we go to the armory!"

A furious scuffle took place in the hall. Dilandau quickly was taken out, lacking his sword. Knives and Sessho-Maru were going at it tooth and claw…literally in Sessho-Maru's case.

Suddenly, a bright light filled the room. When it cleared, Lumira stood between the two fighters, blinking.

"Ok…where am I?…" she said slowly. Knives and Sessho-Maru stared at her. She quickly became aware of their hostile expressions. "Um…Hi?" Just as abruptly as she'd appeared, she vanished, leaving all three to stare at the empty hallway.

"…" they said.

In the main office, Eagle was franticly trying to control the flow of information entering his head. "So you say that a maid in the West Wing saw the prisoners, but so did a secretary in the East Wing?"

"That's right," sighed Geo, rubbing the back of his head. "And the sightings were virtually at the same time, too." Eagle massaged his temples.
"Tell the security to—" He broke off and a slow grin spread over his face. "No. Inform Commander Fanel to report to Escaflowne. And inform Captain Yue that prisoner Knives will be coming to the armory. As for the other…" He thought for a moment. "Have…Clef take care of him." Clef squeaked.

"Me, sir?"

"Of course you," said Tiva, coming up with her laptop. "You do remember your magic, don't you?" Clef slowly nodded, and left the room. Tiva nodded to Carolyn. "I think we may have a problem," she murmured. "My laptop is on the fritz: I can't get into Word." Carolyn shrugged.

"So?"

"So, we can't do anything on the story! As in, no more manipulating Eagle!" A commotion disturbed the oh-so-intelligent conversation. Everyone was staring at a rapidly expanding pink patch above VP Touya.

With a cheerful tinkle of bells, a little girl dropped out of the patch, and into the man's arms. She stared at him, then planted a big kiss on his cheek. "Tuxedo Mask! I finally found you!" Touya's eyes' went wide as the pink-haired girl clung to him, chattering happily. Tiva started to ask Carolyn something, only to find her fellow author on the floor, rolling with laughter. She mused to herself.

"That looks like Sailor Moon animation, and she mentioned Tuxedo Mask, but my information doesn't cover her. I would ask Carolyn, but she's incapacitated at the moment. I hope my internet still works…" Tiva dialed onto the web, and clicked into her IM. "Bring up…Lumira."

Lumira, are you on?

Yeah, what's up?

Never mind that, just, can you help me?

With what?

Well…I'mtrappedinafanficthat'sgoingcrazyandthisgirljustpoppedoutofnowherewith

brightpinkhairyelling'TuxedoMask'andIwaswonderingifyouknewjustwhoshewas.

O…k. What? S.L.O.W.L.Y. 

I'M TRAPPED IN A FANFIC THAT'S GOING CRAZY AND THIS GIRL JUST POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE WITH BRIGHT PINK HAIR YELLING 'TUXEDO MASK' AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW WHO THAT WAS!!!!

Ok. Simple. It's Chibi-Usa, the daughter of the future Sailor Moon, come back in time to help the Sailor Scouts.

…

You do know what the scouts are?

YES I KNOW WHAT THE SCOUTS ARE! Anyway, thanks.

Yeah. You know, the strangest thing happened to me earlier. I was checking my e-mail, then suddenly I was in between two nasty looking guys that just stared at me. Then I found myself back at home.

Uh oh.

What?!?!?!?!?!?

I think you might be caught in our fanfic…

What do you—

"—mean by that?" asked Lumira. Tiva stared, and Carolyn was shocked out of her giggles.
"Hoo boy…" Carolyn jumped up, and started to laugh. "Now we've got you, too! This is just great…do you like Eagle?"

"???" accompanied by a blank stare.

"Eagle. That gorgeous looking guy over there."

"???"

"Good. No competition." Carolyn smirked. Tiva sighed and jabbed her sharply.

"That happens to be one of my best friends."

Meanwhile, Chibi-Usa was squealing at the top of her lungs to Touya, who was holding her at arms length. "I'msohappythatIfoundyouTuxedoMaskandwherewereyouallthistimeI'vebeenlookingalloverforyouand I love you!" Touya's eyes bugged, and he nearly dropped her.

"Who are you?!" Chibi-Usa disappeared with a faint 'pop' and at the same time, so did Lumira. Tiva started to laugh.

"He didn't even get to hear who she was!" Carolyn, on the other hand, had been watching Chibi-Usa with a calculating expression. Suddenly, she bounded over to the president's desk, leaned over it, and began talking before Tiva could even follow her.

"OhEagleyou'rethebestandIwanttomarryyouandwhydon'tyoujustignorethatannoyinglittlegirloverthereafterallI'mmuchmorematurethanherandI'msmartertoo!" She grinned winningly. Eagle blinked slowly at her, and was about to say something, when there was a 'poof' and Lumira appeared again, this time sitting on the desk between them. She looked from one to the other, thinking out loud.

"Adoration…puzzlement. Carolyn…what's-his-face. Adoration…Eagle! You must be Eagle!" The president nodded slowly as Tiva stormed up behind Carolyn and drug her off, growling between clenched teeth,

"We are going to have a talk, Carolyn…" She looked back and smiled. "Thanks, Mira." She towed Carolyn off to the couches, where the others could barely hear a hissed conversation that consisted of Tiva threatening to tell Tomoyo that Carolyn had helped Eriol with his scheme of the computer. Everyone sweatdropped.

In the shadows of the garage, Commander Fanel peered through the visor of Escaflowne, down at Zazu, who was standing by the door. The valet/mechanic gave him a thumbs-up sign, and disappeared into the darkness.

A few seconds later, Dilandau plodded through the entrance. They'd agreed to split up, since they would have killed each other if they'd stayed together. He brightened when he saw his melef, though. There it was, sitting in plain sight, just waiting for him to climb inside and escape to hunt down Van Fanel. He grinned happily, and sprang into the cockpit. Activating it, he was about to blast a hole in the side of the building, when he caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. He whirled.

"Going someplace?" Escaflowne stepped into the light. Dilandau cursed inwardly, and swung around his arm to fire at Van. His arm came up, and a drill whirred.

"What? What happened to my melef!" Dilandau franticly tried his melef's other weapons, but to no avail. Only mechanical parts came into view. He stomped forward, and crunched down on top of a limo. Zazu's voice echoed through the hanger.

"Melef, repair!"

The melef bent down and began studiously fixing the damaged vehicle.  Zazu stepped into sight. "I put your mecha to better use. What do you think? Oh, and it only responds to my voice commands." Dilandau raged within the confines of his craft, but the controls wouldn't function. Escaflowne stepped up and withdrew the kicking prisoner.

"You're going back to your cell," said Van with a grin. "And this time, we have a better guard."

Knives crept silently up to the entrance of the armory, eyes narrowed in concentration. He softly opened the door and slipped inside. Abruptly, the lights came on.

"I've been waiting for you." Yue floated down from the ceiling where he'd been positioned. He dove like an avenging angel at the blonde-haired man, his arm glowing pale blue. Knives dodged, but Yue followed, and attacked. Feathers flew everywhere, and when it ended, Knives was draped over Yue's back, and the Air Force commander was flying sedately back to the jail.

Sessho-Maru dashed across the immaculately manicured lawn, intent on his goal. He jumped to the top of the wall, and looked around. He was about to leap off to freedom, when a big, slippery body appeared beneath him. He slid down it, his jump rudely halted. Clef stood below, waiting. The strange thing was, he was wearing his robes from the anime. Fyula grinned impishly up at Sessho-Maru, who started to get a bad feeling about this all.

With a gulp, Fyula swallowed the demon, and turned to Clef.

"PET RETREAT!" The flying fish disappeared into the gem on Clef's staff. With a sigh, Eagle's advisor turned and went back into the grounds, to the jail. 

With a thump, the last vagrant prisoner was tossed back into their cell. Dilandau sneered at the two others as they got up. "Escape not work as well as you thought?"

"I don't see you loose," snapped Knives.

"Yeah, but I didn't go straight to the armory, like any normal prisoner would!"

Sessho-Maru brushed at himself irritably. Fish spit was all over his clothes. "I wonder if we have the same old guard."

"Oh, like that really matters!"

"Just shut up. None of us were the first ones to be captured!"

Dilandau snarled and sprang at Knives. A quiet voice sliced through the stillness.

"What is going on?" Slowly, the prisoners turned and stared. A woman had come out of the shadows, and was standing in front of the cell. She had red eyes, and blue hair. She was glaring at them. "I am Rei. I will be your new guard. I will not tolerate noise." She turned and sat down, watching them with her creepy eyes. Each prisoner quietly shrank back into their corners and sulked.

"I think that I liked the old guard better," muttered Dilandau. Rei slowly looked in his direction.

"Very well. If you like her so much…" She let the sentence hang. Lafarga stepped out of the shadows, opened the door, and dragged the hapless ex-commander out. Striding down the hall with the boy in tow, he stopped at another cell, opened that door, and tossed Dilandau in quickly. Asuka's voice rang out from inside.

"So, you brought someone to see me, how nice!"

Screams echoed down the corridor.

Back in the main room, Lumira had disappeared, and the president was trying to find out if everything had gone back to normal.

"Geo, what news from the cell?"

"Everything is under control, and Asuka's been fired and impounded."

"Anything else I should know?" Geo consulted his list.

"Well, there's a tour group from a school that's been rescheduled to tomorrow, and we have yet to find the spy."

"Eriol?"

"Yes. The stuffing is gone, and we think that he might still be in the building."

"Are you sure that it wasn't just cleaned up?"

"Positive. There's word going around that that room is jinxed, so none of the staff wants to enter it."

"I see." Eagle sighed wearily. Then he brightened. "I know. We need something to boost morale. Why don't we have a party?" Geo cocked his head thoughtfully.

"That sounds good, sir." Like magic, Tiva and Carolyn popped up next to Eagle, clamoring, "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" He smiled down at them, and said,

"Then we will!" He began issuing orders to the staff hanging around the room, and sending messengers to the cooks and decorators.

"YAY!!! A PARTY!! WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" Carolyn jumped up and down while screaming at the top of her lungs. Tiva sweatdropped and shook her head, muttering something along the lines of, "How much sugar did you have?"

Carolyn, hearing the last part, grinned maniacally, and answered, "Lots an' Lots an' Lots!"

"It's gonna be a loooooong night. At least there's going to be a party, like you just screamed."

"YEP, YEP, YEP!" Carolyn's look of glee was replaced by one of panic. "ARGG! Tiva, what am I going to wear? What am I going to wear????????? Help!"

Tiva stepped back, a little afraid of Carolyn's sudden mood change, and added helpfully, "Clothes?"

Carolyn turned to Tiva with wide eyes and said, "Really? You think so? Hey, wait a second…" she said as her eyes narrowed in a silent threat. Tiva backed up even more, nervously laughing. "Ehehehe…he…he…wear that!", she cried, pointing at some random article of clothing.  Carolyn immediately reverted back to her happy state, holding up the thing in question, saying, "This? But I thought this was what you were going to wear. Considering it's green, and all." Tiva snatched it back, saying,

"No, not this. Take that, over there!"

"Hmm…. You mean the Heavyarms Custom tee-shirt with the black long-sleeved shirt underneath it with my khaki cargo pants? Or do you mean the Cowboy Bebop tee-shirt with the red undershirt?"

Tiva sweat dropped and said, "Er, both?"

"Brilliant! The Heavyarms shirt with the red undershirt! You are a genius!! Lalalala!"

"Oi."

Eagle was getting ready for the party, i.e. taking a whole lotta aspirin and thinking, I brought this on myself. I have no one else to blame but myself. Arggg. He stashed the aspirin container in his secret spot, and turned to the mirror to straighten his tie. Briefly, fleetingly, he contemplated the thought of strangling himself with it, then cast the unruly thought aside. Two knocks sounded at his door, and then a muffled struggling sound, almost like two people madly fighting to be first in the doorway.

"EEK!!!"

 "Let go of that!!!!!"

"Hair is not a toy!!!!!!"

Eagle sweatdropped, sighed, then, like a man going to his doom, walked over to the door and opened it. He was greeted by the sight of Tiva holding onto Carolyn's hair, and Carolyn chomping on Tiva's other wrist. They both looked guiltily up at the President, then quickly assumed positions of innocence. Carolyn cried, "Eagle, my love!!!" while at the same time Tiva announced,

"Eagle, ignore her! I'm the one to love!!!!"

"No, you're not!'

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on!!"

"Ahem."

Both girls froze in attack positions, and whipped back to innocence, giggling nervously. "Ah, Carolyn-chan, methinks we need to sort this out, ne?"

"Outside then?"

"Yeah, sounds good. Ja, Eagle! We'll be back!" Tiva typed a sentence, and she and Carolyn disappeared, Carolyn shouting sweet nothings to Eagle. The poor man sighed, then stepped out of his room and walked down the hall, on his way to the area where the party was being held.

"ROWR!!!"

You didn't need to guess what was happening outside. Minor debris went flying through the air, and several birds nearby took flight, fearing for their lives. Amid a cloud of dust, the two authors battled. The laptop sat innocently nearby.

 His presence disguised by the ruckus, the White House's gardener walked up. He glanced over at the cloud of dust with interest, then noticed the laptop. He moved over to it, and picked it up. In the middle of their fight, both girls noticed that fact, and froze in mid motion, shouting simultaneously

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Vash jumped and dropped the laptop.

Tiva and Carolyn watched in unmitigated horror as, like it was moving in slow motion, the laptop hit the ground, bounced a few times, then came to a stop. They slowly turned their heads from the carnage to each other, both with identical expressions. Vash raised his head and looked sheepishly at the girls.

"Er, oops?" Both authors turned to him with expressions of murder.

"Vash. The. Stampede. How. Could. You. Be. So. STUPID!? You're a genius plant that's over one hundred thirty-one years old, and you just broke our only connection to the outside world!!!" Tiva bellowed at the hapless gardener while smoke poured out of her ears. Carolyn marched right up to him with a very serious expression before she said,

"Cool glasses. I think I can forgive you if you give them to me. Wadda ya say?"

Vash blinked, then said, "Who are you?"

"We're the people who control your life, Just give her the glasses," snapped Tiva.

"O…k. Are you a plant or something?" The man handed his sunglasses to a happy Carolyn, who did a small dance of glee. Tiva glanced disgustedly in her partner's direction.

"No, we aren't plants. How you could think she's a plant…" She knelt by the wreckage of her laptop. "How come it's MY laptop that gets broken, but SHE gets the glasses, huh?"

"Cuz I'm Carolyn, duh. Your parents are going to get annoyed at you, though. That's the third laptop you've broken so far."

Tiva shot a murderous look in Carolyn's direction, and then rolled her eyes. "None of those times were my fault! The first time, my cat knocked it off my dresser, and the second time someone tripped over it!" She looked up at Vash. "Hey…waitaminute. In Trigun, Vashy can fix machines, right? Fix my laptop!" She thrust it up at him. Carolyn came back over, styling the shades.

"But that only worked on plants. Unless there's something about your laptop that you aren't telling me, it's not a plant."

"He can try anyway!"

Vash took the computer slowly, frowning. "How does this work? There's no place for the plant to-" His face blanked out, then he continued smoothly "-I can't do anything for you, sorry. Why don't you take it to Zazu? He's the mechanic."

Tiva gave him a beady look. "I'm not forgetting this, Vashy-kun. You owe me…" Carolyn dragged her off, still grumbling. "Thanks for the glasses," Carolyn called over her shoulder.

In the middle of her rant, Tiva froze. "The party! We forgot all about the party! And you're not wearing those shades to it!"

"Why not?" Carolyn whined pitifully.

"Because, if you FORGOT we're going to be FORMAL. *hopefully*"

"But, these are formal! And if they don't match your definition of formal, they are still spiffy!!!"

"You're still not wearing them."

"That's what you think."

"I'll have security arrest you at the door for improper apparel."

"You wouldn't!" Carolyn gasped.

"I would. Now, try to see reason. We're going to be attending a party that has the President, the V.P., the advisors, and just about every bigwig in the White House. I'm not going to let you wear sunglasses to that sort of occasion!"

"Pleeaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee?!"

"No. You can wear them before, and you can wear them after, but not during."

"Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"

"NO."

Carolyn was about to protest more, but an idea occurred to her. "Fine," she sulked, hiding a smirk.

Tiva looked over to Carolyn suspiciously before saying, "Good. Now we need to resolve our little possession dispute fast. The party starts in," she glanced at her watch, "ten minutes. Any ideas?"

"I got one. I get Eagle, you stand in the corner. That work for you?" She bowled over Tiva's stuttering reply with, "Good, glad that's settled. I'm off!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT! That's not a solution!" yelled Tiva, latching onto Carolyn's arm. Carolyn made a valiant effort of dragging the competition behind her, but to no avail. Tiva dug her heels into the lawn and refused to budge.

"We both have to have a fair deal! And since you have no good ideas, I guess I'll have to make up my own, huh?"

Carolyn pretended to ponder over this, then said, "No. I like mine just fine, thanks anyway." She then made another attempt to move. Tiva glared up at Carolyn, and with a voice laced with menace, said,

"If you don't agree to a fair deal then I will personally see to it that I step on those glasses."

Carolyn gave a gasp, then, "You wouldn't dare! Not the Glasses!!!"

"Yes. And I won't stop there. I have all sorts of things I can do to you if you refuse to comply!"

"I'll listen, I'll listen!" Carolyn finally gave in, then started muttering about what a two-faced, dirty, rotten scoundrel Tiva was.

Tiva smiled grimly. "It's good to know you have sense. Of course, since we're otaku, it's dubious if either of us have sense…That's beside the point. If we don't solve this, we'll be arguing throughout the entire fanfic, and anyone reading is going to get pretty bored of it."

"Let 'em deal with it. But anyways, how 'bout we both get an arm of Eagle's?"

"I'm game. You get the left half of him, I get the right, k?"

"K."

"Good." Tiva let go of Carolyn's arm, letting some circulation into the girl's purple hand. "Now we'd better get dressed. The party starts-" another watch check, "-in four minutes. Run!"

"I love that song! Eagle sings it!" shouted Carolyn as they sprinted across the turf.

"Same here! Ogata Megumi is the best V.A ever!"

They dashed back to their rooms in record time, changed in record time, and were standing at the doorway to the party hall with predatory expressions when Eagle rounded the corner.

"Remember, I go for the left, you go for the right," muttered Carolyn out of the side of her mouth. "Now!" They made a mad dash and grab for their respective sides.

Eagle was quietly walking down the hall with his advisors when the wind was knocked out of him with explosive force. He felt a small nagging sensation in the back of his mind, that he quickly dismissed. "Tiva, Carolyn! I didn't see you, so I thought you weren't coming! I'm glad you're here!"

Tiva and Carolyn exchanged stunned looks. "What's with the attitude change?" whispered Carolyn. "He almost seemed to never want to see us the last time!"

"I don't know…"

Meanwhile, Lumira sat in front of her computer, studying the copy of A Day in the White House, parts one and two, and frowned thoughtfully. Yes, that was better. They'd love her for doing that to Eagle. Wait…that was strange. Words were scrolling across the screen without her typing… "This happ-"

"-ened before, when I first got pulled in." Lumira looked around, and became aware that all eyes were on her. She also became aware that she was sitting on the buffet table. Tiva and Carolyn dashed up, dragging a smiling Eagle behind them.

"What are you doing back here!?" demanded Carolyn puzzledly. Lumira brushed off a crepe and hopped down.

"I really have no conceivable idea." She sighed, and absently took a hors d'oeuvres from one of the plates. "But while I'm here, I might as well enjoy my-"

"-self. Dang. Those finger sandwiches looked good." From another room of the house, Lumira's mother called "Time for bed!" As she brushed her teeth, Lumira grumbled to herself. "It's not fair…Tiva gets to go to a party, while I have to get ready for bed." She rinsed her mouth out and went back to the computer to shut it down. As she saved the story, she became aware of a buzzing sound, and an automated voice.

"Warning. Improper safeguards installed. Initializing emergency procedure."

 "What?"

There was a flash of light, then silence.

The murmur of conversations floated through the dinning room as various people milled around and made small talk. Tasuki was keeping as far away from the punch bowl as possible, remembering the last dinner's incident, and Geo and Lafarga were on totally opposite sides of the room. Abrupt silence fell, when there was a sharp 'smash' sound, and everyone turned to the origin of the noise. Tiva strained to see, then huffed in frustration.

"Why do bishies have to be so tall? Eagle, give me a boost, will ya?" The surprisingly docile President cupped his hands, and the author stepped into them, swaying as he straightened, and ignoring the look of malice Carolyn was giving her. "It's from over by the doorway…uh oh." She jumped down. "Thanks, Eagle. Carolyn, we've got ourselves a problem."

"What's the big deal?"

"Eriol."

Carolyn groaned and shook her head. "Honestly, what does it take to kill someone like him?"

Eagle looked down at the two girls. "I think I should go over and see what the problem is." All at once, the two girls were clamoring at him.

"Oh, no, you don't want to do that, Mr. Prez, sir."

"Really bad idea, if I do say so."

"I don't understand…" The two authors dragged him into the corner of the room that was farthest from the door, and made motions for him to be quiet.

"Eagle, sweetie, you really don't want to know who that is," said Tiva, looking worried.

"If you had your laptop working, we could just make him disappear…" said Carolyn.

"I wish. But I left it in my room—" Both girls turned to each other simultaneously.

"Oh no…"

Eriol surveyed the crowded room with a feeling of superiority. They all feared him…life was good. Heh. He held up the laptop and typed a few words in. Nothing happened. His confident expression began to fade. Then, he saw a figure that didn't fear him. He swallowed.

Tomoyo stepped in front of him and glared up.

"What do you think you're doing? The President organized this party to relax! We don't need you intruding!"

"Ah, my dear Tomoyo, I'm cut to the quick!" exclaimed Eriol, feigning a wound. The head of Security didn't look impressed.

"You're coming with me," she said, taking hold of one of his arms. Eriol began to struggle, and suddenly found himself enveloped in the massive arms of Lafarga. The bury security guard simply lifted Eriol off his feet, and took him out of the room, setting the laptop on a handy table. There was a pause, then conversations resumed. Carolyn glanced around, then said

"Coast's clear."

"I think we can get off him, then."

The authors had had to resort to sitting on top of Eagle to stop him from going into danger. However, Carolyn didn't seem to want to get off.

"Come on, Carolyn!"

"No!"

Eagle grunted slightly as Carolyn clamped her knees tighter around his midsection. Tiva finally sighed and poked Carolyn's side in just the right spot.

"Off!"

"Yeeek!"

The shorter author toppled off, and Eagle rose to his feet with the speed of a helium balloon. He straightened his tux, and glanced around the room. "Whatever that was, it's stopped now." He rocked as the authors latched onto his arms happily. "Are either of you thirsty?"

Yue looked over the assemblage and the returned his attention to Van, who was telling his commander how he captured his prisoner.

"And then, Dilandau came in, got into his melef, and was about to high-tail it out, but Zazu rigged the melef to become one of his work 'bots, so all it did was fix cars. It was kind of funny, actually." Van cracked a rare grin, and Yue got as close to smiling as he ever did. They both spoke softly to each other, completely disregarding the fact that their feet weren't on the ground. In fact, both of them were sitting on the massive chandelier, which gave them an unparalleled view of the action below. They'd watched with interest when Eriol had come in, but hadn't intervened when they saw Lafarga moving to intercept.

Now, they were munching quietly on a few snacks pilfered from the buffet tables. Yue had been experimenting with eating, and was at the moment, trying to remember how to chew.

Van glanced down, then paused. "Who are they?"

Yue looked down as well, and frowned. "I've seen them with the President before. They're his special guests, I think."

At that moment, there was a 'pop,' and a girl appeared sitting next to Van. She looked around, then looked down. "Crud! What am I doing up here?!" A finger sandwich fell out of Van's fingers, and Yue froze in mid bite. Lumira gave them both bemused looks. "Yue, I know, but I've never seen you befoooooooooooooore!" She lost her balance on the chandelier, and fell towards the unyielding floor.

More accurately, towards the hapless Touya, whom was just unwinding enough to stop starting at loud noises. Lumira's dopplering voice caught his attention, and he stared up just in time to catch her as she fell.

"Gah…thanks Touya." Tiva and Carolyn dragged Eagle over.

"Lumira, what happened?" asked Carolyn.

"I don't know…I was turning off the computer when it said something about engaging safeties or something." Touya set her down, and she brushed herself off.

Tiva groaned, and muttered a curse word in French. "It looks like you're stuck here then."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"COOL!"

Both authors blinked as Lumira bounded over to the buffet tables. Then a voice from above called down.

"Touya, are you all right?" Yue peered over the edge of the chandelier with something close to concern on his face.

"Yeah, I think so." The VP rubbed his shoulders and offered a look of 'all-rightness.'

Tiva suddenly realized who was talking. "Y-Yue? All right!" She dashed over to one of the walls and began scaling a curtain. From there, she slid down one of the chandelier's support chains, and landed rather breathlessly next to the Air Force captain. "Yue, you don'tknowhowlongI'vewantedtomeetyou,becauseIthinkyouaresoooooooooocool!"

Down below, Carolyn grinned. Tiva was occupied with her favorite bish, and that left Eagle all to herself. From one of her pockets, she withdrew the sunglasses that Vash had given her, and put them on, grinning even wider than before. With the other author's attentions significantly diverted, she would never notice that Carolyn had smuggled the shades in. She laughed and dragged Eagle over to the punch bowl.

Lumira glanced around the room, then made a beeline for the snack table, and snatched a few tasty tidbits. As she munched, she heard a voice that could only belong to one person. Not many people could talk that fast without breathing for inordinate stretches of time.

"OhEagle,youhavetheprettiesteyesandtheprettiestnose,andprettyears,andaveryverypretty

mouthsoKISSME!"

The President sweatdropped, and tried to move away a little, without being too rude.

"Carolyn!!!" Lumira stepped in the middle of the two "I hope you know that Tiva is about to kill Yue... I think that we should save him." At that time they heard a yelp from up above them.

"Yueeeeee!!"

Carolyn glared for a moment. "Why should I care? I've got my bish, she's got hers."

Lumira sighed. "Because, if we don't do SOMETHING, she's going to go to far and he's going to hate her! Not to mention that his ears might be severely damaged!"

"And I would care…why?"

The other girl sighed, and said, "Fine, I'll do it myself!" She stormed off towards the curtains, and began grumbling to herself. "Mega-Otaku…always in their own world…" She scaled the heights, and slid down to the chandelier. Yue was leaning away from Tiva, who was gazing at him with sparkly eyes, her hands clasped in adoration. Leaning over her friend, Lumira whispered,

"Tiva, look over at the punch bowl."

Snapped out of her WAFFy reverie, Tiva blinked, then looked down. Her eyes widened, and she sat up straight. "That two-faced little sneak! CAROLYN!!!!!"

Carolyn shot ramrod straight after hearing the roar from above. "Eep…." She turned and sprinted, dragging Eagle away as well.

Tiva almost fell off the chandelier. "CAROLYN!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THOSE GLASSES?!" She whirled to Yue. "After them!" She grabbed his hand and drug the moon angel off the light fixture, forcing him to take fight.

Lumira sighed and started the climb down. "Don't mind me…grrrr…"

Carolyn looked around nervously as she heard the shouts behind her gaining. She ducked into an abandoned office, praying for sanctuary.

The room was dark, and a strip of narrow light came in through the curtained window. Carolyn sagged with relief, then froze. She'd distinctly heard movement. And it wasn't the harried President, either, he seemed to have gone into shock a while back. A rustling sound drew her attention to the large desk. A chair swiveled, and revealed a figure cloaked in shadow. The figure spoke.

"What…are you doing in my office?"

"GAH! Um, um…hi? Sorry to bother you and all, but I'm kinda—"

"This area is off limits to everyone but the highest-ranking officials. You don't seem to understand that."

"But, I am a high-ranking person! Here's the President to prove it!" She pulled forward Eagle's comatose form.

The person at the desk stood, looming over her. Something about his silhouette was familiar…

"Who are you?" she asked, backing slowly away.

The man lowered his head slightly, and then, in a lowered voice that was much scarier than if he'd spoken openly, murmured,

"Legato. Legato Bluesummers."

Tiva and Yue flew quickly down the hall. Yue was trying hold onto her, but keep away, as she was snapping dangerously. A vein was throbbing on her head, and she looked ready to kill a certain rebellious author.
"When I catch up to her I am going to make her listen to the dubbed Xellos for five hours!"

Meanwhile, Carolyn got a sudden chill along her spine that wasn't attributed to the fact she was in Legato's office…

As enraged as she was, Tiva felt that something suddenly had gone wrong. Forcing herself to cool down, she tried to pinpoint what it was. It was her fanfic, after all, and she had a certain knowledge of what went on. She looked around, then suddenly grabbed Yue's arm. "Stop!" His wings backed air, and he hovered.

Tiva concentrated, and found what she was looking for. "That way!"

"That's a restricted section!"

"I don't care! GO!"

"So, uh, Mr. Legato, sir, how's it going? I apologize for barging in here like that, but I'm kinda running for my life and all, so if you could do me a BIIG favor and keep quiet, and/or zap anyone else who comes in here, I would be much obliged." This was followed by a winning smile, albeit, slightly nervous.

Legato stared down at her, then turned to the doorway, and said calmly, "Someone's coming."

"ACK! Don't let them in!" As she said this, the door burst open, and Tiva and Yue entered. Yue glanced around, his eyes coming to rest on Legato.

"I see you're up to your old tricks."

Legato gave him a smirk. "I can't really help it, Yue. It's what I do best."

Tiva and Carolyn gave them both blank looks, then Legato suddenly burst out laughing.

"Such fun humans!" Catching Carolyn's betrayed look, he grinned evilly. "You really thought I'd help a human? Ahahahaa!"

Now it was Carolyn's turn to become irate. "YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A MAN!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE AN ACTUAL ANIME BISHOUNEN! DIEEEEEEEEE!!"

She began to throttle him, heedless of the fact that he could kill her with a simple look.

Legato's eyes glowed, and Carolyn found that she suddenly couldn't move. The stupidity of what she'd just done hit her then, and she turned a worried, hopeful smile on him.

"You wouldn't kill an innocent little girl, would you?"

"Of course I would."

"ERK."

"But I won't. After all, I am the chief of the secret department, and it would scare people if I showed my homicidal tendencies so soon after I'd been hired."

"Ah. I see. Thank goodness. I'll have you know that I'm still veeeery annoyed with you" With sheer willpower, she managed to weakly shake a fist at him.

"And I think you should know that I can reconsider my choice at any time, little girl. Now go. I have work to do." He released her, and sent them all flying out the door, which slammed shut and locked itself after them.

Carolyn, upon landing remembered that she had a furious Tiva out to get her. Wasting no time, she sprinted away.

Tiva got to her feet, and shook her head. "I can't believe her! She forgot Eagle!" Turning to Yue, she smiled sympathetically. "You should take him back to his room…I think he's had enough for one night. Oh, and alter his memories, would you? I wouldn't want to remember this…"

Yue nodded, picked up the President, and flew off silently. Tiva turned her attention to the corridor down which her co-author had just sprinted.

"Carolyn…this isn't finished yet!"

Carolyn realized with shock as she ran that she was missing an important person! She thought of returning for him, but was interrupted rudely by common sense. Her pace not slowing, she continued on, going faster as she heard faint yelling from down the long corridor.

Tiva stopped running suddenly, and a smile crept over her face. The hallway only had one exit…and she knew a shortcut. Sprinting off down a side way, she couldn't stop an evil chuckle. She knew just the dubbed Slayers episode she was going to make Carolyn watch…

Carolyn was reaching the light at the end of the tunnel, when she saw a suspicious silhouette blocking her way. She tried to slam on the brakes, but the slippery linoleum (the White House had a budget, after all) caused her to keep going, tumbling straight into Tiva's arms.

"I knew it!" Tiva grabbed Carolyn in a vise-like grip. "You won't escape now." She smiled scarily.

Carolyn had her panic face firmly set on as she desperately tried to attain freedom. Using whatever limbs necessary, she fought, bit, kicked, clawed, punched, yowled, and generally acted like a wild animal.

Tiva winced as a clawed hand raked over her face. "Are you done yet?! Honestly, you're worse than Inu-Yasha!"

"Darn tootin'! And no, I am not done, until I gain FREEEDOM!!!!" this was accompanied by a vicious kick.

"Fine. You want to go free, then go!" Tiva grabbed Carolyn around the waist, and slung her off the nearest balcony. There was a splash below.  Carolyn cackled merrily, after spluttering a bit, realizing there was a dazed Himura Kenshin staring at her.

"Ora?"

Tiva leaned over the balcony, snickering. She paused when she saw Himura. "Eh? That scar…Kenshin! I didn't think I included you! I don't really know enough about you…it must be Carolyn's fault."

"Actually, it was mine."

Tiva whirled to see Lumira leaning against a doorway, eating an appetizer. "Lumira! Where were you?"

Lumira rolled her eyes while stating, "You forgot me. AGAIN."

"Aaa. Sorry, Mira. Come here and see this! I was aiming her for the bushes, but she landed in the pond instead! Talk about needing to improve my aim…"

"Ok. You need to improve your aim. What else is there to talk about?"

Tiva slapped her forehead, thinking about her choices in friends. "Never mind, Mira, dear." She leaned over the railing, and called down to Carolyn. "So, how's the water?"

"Fine, but I much more enjoy the bite-sized samurai you threw me to! Thanks!"

"Do you ever think of anything but the bishies?"

"Nope. What else is there to think about?"

*crash* "Maybe the fact that you're wet, the temperature is currently 30 degrees out, and we still haven't found a way out of this fic." She did a double-take when she realized Carolyn wasn't listening at all. Instead, she was laying the charm on Himura.

"Oh, Kenshin-chan, I'm afraid I'm all wet!" The wily author climbed out of the ornamental pond, and sneezed. Kenshin looked at her with concern. He took off his kimono, exposing a wonderfully, muscularly sculpted, beautiful *nosebleed* torso. He wrapped his garment around the shivering Carolyn, who looked like she'd just died and gone to heaven. *insert drool here*

Tiva rubbed her forehead tiredly, and vaulted over the railing down to the two, grumbling to herself. "Of all the insane people I had co-write this story with…" She walked up, and pulled a drooling Carolyn away from the slightly bewildered samurai. "Thanks for your help, I'll get your kimono back to you, 'k?" She drug the barely coherent co-author off.

Lumira sighed. "Forgotten again," she muttered. "I guess I'd better help Kenshin." She clambered down a handy trellis, and walked over to Himura. "Here, take this. It might be a while before you get your kimono back." She handed him her coat, and since he was such a slender cutie, it fit him fine. At that moment she heard a faint wail from all fan-girls at having Kenshin cover himself.

"Shut up, all of you!"

Tiva rolled her eyes at Carolyn as she pulled her friend along. "You really need to snap out of it, Carolyn-chan…" Carolyn, with hearts in her eyes, was clutching the kimono, and mumbling incoherently. With a long-suffering sigh, Tiva grunted, and slung Carolyn over her shoulder, trudging back to their room. Lumira met up with her halfway, and they exchanged glances of knowing.

"She'll probably be fine after a sleep…and a cold shower."

"Yeah. But she's still heavy…"

Carolyn snapped out of her state long enough to shout "I'm a delicate creature, so don't break me or my fragile self-esteem!" Tiva and Lumira sweatdropped and turned to Carolyn, who had gone back into her comatose existence.

"Here's our room, you can stay with us," said Tiva to Lumira.

"Thanks, yeah, I was wondering about that."

"Sure. Might be a little bit of a tight fit…oh good! Lafarga put my laptop back. I wish Word was back up…Then maybe I could get us out of here."

"I dunno, this is pretty fun!"

"Just wait until you have to spend a day with anime characters that would sooner kill you than look at you." Tiva dumped Carolyn on one of the two beds, and let out a sigh of relief. "Yeesh…I think all her fanboys in her head make her heavier."

"Can I sleep here?"

"Go ahead. I'll take the couch."

"Shouldn't Carolyn change out of her wet clothes?"

"Nah, I think her thoughts'll keep her plenty warm."

Carolyn let out a loud, "Daisuki!" then rolled over in her sleep.

"See?"

"Unfortunately all too well…"

Tiva and Lumira collapsed onto their bed and couch respectively at the same time, and let out long sighs.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow?"

"I really have no idea."