Chapter 25: Repercussions and Reprimands II-The Aftermath of the Aftermath

"Well, I heard that you two had spent over five hundred dollars on food, so I decided to come up here and find out what the hell is going on!"

"Five hundred dollars?" Sam mumbled thickly, running her hand through her hair and staring up at Simon through narrowed eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, we couldn't have spent that much," Jack stated, nodding.

"I have the bill right here," Simon raved on, waving a slip of paper around in the air, and Jack sat up instantly.

"What, you mean we have to pay for all of that?" he asked, almost shouting.

"Well, considering that you weren't supposed to eat that much for the entirety of the trip…"

"Let's sue him," Sam muttered, rolling over and burying her head into her pillow.

"We never knew it was going to cost so much! I mean… we only ate so little…"

"And you can really tell that by the state of this room!"

"Hey!" Jack protested. There was a brief pause, before he went on.

"Sarcasm is my department."

"Do you know how much this bottle of champagne alone cost?" Simon asked, bending down and picking up the empty bottle from the ground.

"I think I could ballpark it…"

"One hundred and fifty dollars." There was a silence.

"Okay, maybe not…" Jack said, his voice trailing off.

"Couldn't have cost that much," Sam murmured, her head still buried in her pillow. "It tasted horrible. A hundred and fifty dollar bottles of champagne don't taste like that."

"It looks like you liked it, I can smell your breath from here!" Simon shouted, and Sam fell silent.

"Alright, we can discuss this later," he said, slightly calmer.

"Great. See you later, then," Jack replied, and he rolled over and shut his eyes.

"Now I want to talk to ask you whether you two are having any sort of sexual relations, because if…"

"Excuse me?" Jack and Sam yelled together indignantly, both sitting straight up and staring up at him with wild eyes.

"We… we are not…" Jack spat out, struggling to find the right words.

"Having sex together!" Sam finished. He glanced at her.

"Yeah, what she said!"

"The evidence says differently. For one, even though you managed to uncuff yourselves-deceitfully, I might add-you are still sleeping in the same bed, and when I came in you two were all over each other."

"That was an accident," Sam stated.

"Secondly, you're not wearing a top!"

"That's what she tried to tell you yesterday over the phone," Jack said calmly, hearing Sam audibly gasp beside him and he felt her clutch at the blankets as he continued on.

"What, that you two are doing it together?"

"No! Jesus Christ…"

"And thirdly every single person who has come up here to attend you has reported signs of a sexual relationship between you two!"

"We would never do anything like that!" Sam called out.

"All the evidence is saying that you two are. And, if that is the case, I'm going to have to kick you both off this ship."

"What, you going to make us walk the plank?" Jack asked.

"A helicopter will be called for and will pick you both up."

"Oh. I wanted to walk the plank."

"I don't think you realize how serious this is…!"

"We realize how serious this is, but we're telling you the truth when we say we are nothing more than partners," Sam said softly.

"You've got to believe us." Jack turned to see her bashing her eyelids at him and trying to look innocent.

"It only works on General Hammond," he whispered. She batted him away as Simon's shoulders slumped, before he rubbed his hand over his hair and sighed.

"Okay. Let's just say you two aren't having an affair, and everything just happened out of pure coincidence or something. There's still the matter of the room, and I haven't even begun on how disappointed I am in you both about the handcuffs."

"Oh, God…" Jack mumbled.

"The whole point of handcuffing you both was so that you'd be chained together for a whole day, not so you could unlock them and gorge on food!"

"We didn't uncuff each other until last night," Jack said pointedly.

"Ah, so you could sleep with each other!" D'oh!

"No, no…"

"No, I think yes, yes!"

"Simon, listen to me," Sam said, her voice rising over both of theirs.

"We didn't know that the food would cost so much, and I undid the handcuffs because… because I was getting an irritation on my skin." She glanced up at Jack and gave him a 'don't-dispute-my-story' look, before turning back to Simon again.

"I was too sick to move, so Jack and I agreed that it would be best if we just slept on. We're not sleeping together, and we didn't know we'd be spending so much."

"The negotiator," Jack muttered playfully to Sam, who in return grinned slightly.

"Okay. Alright, I'll forget I ever saw you two in bed together and tear up the bill, but I still have to punish you for deceitfully uncuffing yourselves from each other." Jack and Sam glanced at each other, both swallowing.

"Punish us?" Sam asked nervously, looking back up at Simon. He nodded grimly.

"Yes."

"We're not going to be washing dishes in the kitchen, are we?" Jack asked. There was a pause.

"Well, you weren't, but…"

~~~

"You can start with the ones that just came in, before moving onto last night's batch. Once you finished that, it'll probably be the end of lunchtime, so there'll be another influx of dishes and stuff for you to wash. Got that?" Jack and Sam nodded as the head chef went off and they both turned to the stack of dishes awaiting them on the edge of the sink.

"I used to never get into trouble while I was at school," Sam stated as they pulled on the washing gloves that the man had given them.

"I never once got a detention, and I don't ever remember getting yelled at. It's my third day on a cruise ship with you and suddenly I'm in in-school suspension!"

"Hey, look on the bright side-at least you're with me," Jack replied with a cheery smile, and Sam just scowled at him before pulling the first plate from the stack. It was covered in small, unidentifiable food bits, and Sam sighed deeply. Jack eyed the plate interestedly, before pointing at a particularly nasty looking food bit and glancing up at her.

"I dare you to eat that," he said.

"Are you kidding?! No way, that is disgusting, it might be poi…"

"I'll give you twenty bucks."

"Okay." She carefully pulled the brown thing off of the plate, sniffing it a couple of times, before shutting her eyes tightly and throwing it into her mouth. There was a pause, before she swallowed and doubled over, clutching onto the sink.

"That bad, huh?" Jack questioned, smirking. She said nothing for a while, before she finally shook her head.

"Sir, that wasn't food."

"Oh… oh dear. What… I… oh… make it thirty instead."

~~~

"We've been working non-stop for two hours! When are we going to get a break?" Jack wailed.

"You're not going to get a break until I think I can trust you again." The duo turned around to see Simon standing there watching them and they both sighed, turning around again.

"Looks like we'll be here for a long, long time," Jack grumbled.

"You brought this on yourselves, you know. If you hadn't…"

"Alright, alright, we get the message." There was a silence as the two continued to wash, before Simon mumbled something about being needed somewhere and left. Sam sighed as she heard the door close, before she threw the towel she was holding into the sink and put her hands onto her hips.

"I can't go on!" she said plainly, shaking her head. "This is slavery! I refuse to do anymore work!" Jack looked up at her, grinning.

"Yeah, let's form a union."

"Come on, I know you're as fed-up with this as I am. This is just a waste of time!"

"Then let's not make it a chore and try making it fun, like… for instance, we could make it a game."

"What, wash as many dishes as we can in an hour, and then try breaking that record?" she asked, smirking, and there was a pause, before Jack grinned broadly and poked her in the shoulder.

"Simpsons! You said you didn't watch it!"

"I never said that," Sam replied, grinning just as widely.

"You, Samantha Carter, astrophysicist extraordinaire, watch the Simpsons?"

"What, you're deciding what I watch now?"

"You said you didn't watch it!" Jack proclaimed, poking her numerous times, and she pulled the towel back out of the sink and threw it in his face.

"And what are you going to do about it?" she asked, backing away, and he threw the towel away before running after her.

"This!" She yelped as he threw his arms around her and lifted her up.

"Sir, put me down!" she shouted as he carried her back over to the sink, shaking his head.

"Not a chance, Carter."

"Sir…!" Her hand groped around behind her, trying to find some sort of defense, before she managed to scoop up a handful of soapsuds and smeared them over his face. There was a pause as he let go of her and wiped the suds off of his face, before he shook his head and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh, now you're going to get it…" he whispered, before scooping up his own handful of foam and throwing it at her. An all out battle ensued, froth and bubbles flying about everywhere as the two laughed and screamed, the dishes and cups waiting to be scrubbed completely forgotten.

"So, Carter, what have we learnt today?"  Jack asked as he smeared suds over her face, his other hand pinning her down.

"That you're lethal with detergent!" she replied, blowing some of the bubbles into his face. He smeared more suds over her face and she shrieked in delight, trying to push him away.

"I will get you back for all of this, you know that, don't you?" Sam asked breathlessly, grinning all the same.

"I'll just get you back twice as bad," Jack whispered in reply, before lifting her up again. There was a struggle between the two for a while, both laughing insanely, before he accidentally pushed her against the stack of dishes that had been cleaned. The stack began to wobble and before either of them knew what was going on, there was a horrible series of breaking noises as all the plates smashed against the ground. Before they could react in any kind of way, a horrible screech filled the air.

"What in God's name have you two done?!!" They both slowly looked up, wincing, to see the head chef guy staring at them with wide, angry eyes. Jack's hands, which were previously enwrapped around Sam's stomach, pulled away from her and he ran them through his hair, before shrugging.

"We didn't do it," he answered simply.

~~~

"Just when I thought I was getting somewhere with you two, you go and pull a stunt like this!"

"It was an accident…" Jack tried to protest, but Simon cut him off.

"Apparently you were lifting Sam up at the time and had your arms around her. Is that why the dishes fell? Because you were getting a little too frisky?"

"Oh, God…" Sam mumbled into her hands.

"No, it wasn't like that…" Situations like this called for drastic actions.

"See, Sam had just fallen over." Jack heard Sam sigh deeply as he continued on.

"And she was barely conscious, so I lifted her up to see if she was okay." Sam sighed again.

"I-I must have accidentally pushed her into the plates, causing them to fall over."

"And how exactly did Sam fall over?" There was a pause as the two glanced at each other, before Sam quickly spoke up.

"I slipped on some spilt water. You know… from washing."

"Oh. Alright, but nevertheless, you broke about seventy plates, and those didn't come free!"

"We're not going to have to be punished again, are we?" Jack asked, sighing. Simon also sighed.

"I'm not sure. I don't think punishment's going to help you two anymore-it's clear to me now that this cruise probably isn't for you two."

"No, Simon, we're sorry," Sam stated. "Look, we're not usually like this. We do work well together, more than you think. We don't behave like this at all, it's just… I'm not sure what it's just," she ended helplessly.

"But I do know that we can change and we can benefit from this trip. Please don't send us back." There was a pause, before Simon sighed.

"Oh, alright. You can stay, but if you two mess up again, I WILL kick you off of this ship and won't hesitate in doing so!"

"Thank you, Simon!" Sam exclaimed, jumping up and throwing her arms around him, and he chuckled and patted her on the back.

"Well… just don't do it again." He smiled at the both of them, before taking in a deep breath.

"The red team's meeting up in the ballroom again in half an hour. I expect to see you both there," he added, before leaving, still smiling. Jack turned to Sam, shaking his head and grinning.

"Samantha Carter, astrophysicist extraordinaire, who I found out-not so long ago-watches the Simpsons has just sucked up to someone. Well, I never thought I'd see the day."

"Situations like that call for drastic action. It was justifiable." Jack paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes at her as he got some sort of déjà vu, before he shook it off as she spoke again.

"Anyway, at least I didn't lie…!"

"Oh, like what you said wasn't a lie?" Jack scoffed. "But I do know that we can change and we can benefit from this trip… we're never going to change." Sam stood up straight and grinned at him.

"We'll continue being brats forever," Jack continued, and Sam's grin grew.

"So we're partners in crime now?" she asked, outstretching her hand, and Jack looked at it, before looking back into her happy face and taking it, shaking it enthusiastically.

"Partners for life," he replied, giving her a roguish wink.

~~~

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long, I kept on re-writing this. I never realized it would be this hard!

I feel like I'm dragging this whole thing on for too long, but it's slowly-very, very slowly-getting to the climax (there's a climax, yes!) Thanks for all staying with me on this one so far (especially those really long parts of Chapter 8 *shudder*).