A/N: This is Part Seventeen of the CLOSURE series. This is a sequel of the ENOUGH series, so please read that one first or this won't make any sense.

It was drawn to my attention that there are some grammatical errors on my stories. I apologize. I didn't notice them at the time. Sorry. Another long chapter coming ahead.

On with the story.

Disclaimer: You should know that this belongs to Joss Whedon and the parties involved in getting the show on the air.

Feedback: As you wish.

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Heaven and Hell

Ok.

What happened back there?

He had lost all semblance of self-control and he blacked out. The reason?

The slayer.

Once he remembered everything and everyone then it became clear that the reason of all his troubles was the slayer.

Always.

There was no escape from her. Not even by suffering a slight lobotomy and moving out of the country. Not by unliving on the old world a couple of years and devoting his time focusing on other things. His goals changed and he had joyfully forgotten everything about his time in Sunnydale.

But he should have known better, shouldn't he?

The bane of his existence would not leave him alone. He could have lived on forever without a care in his life. Maybe eventually he'd run across an old watcher centuries ahead that'd remember his association with the slayer who cheated death twice. Maybe then he'd remember a thing, but it'd be so deep in the past that he'd just shrug it off.

Fat chance.

Well, he was tired of self-pity and of being tired. He was not the kind of vampire who felt sorry for himself. At least not since he left Sunnydale.

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Buffy and Giles walked back into the house, still thinking about their conversation. Giles knew that he had to keep it to himself, and it was Buffy who should tell her friends about her relationship with the vampire. If she wanted them to accept him back, then there was a lot of road left to be walked.

"You ok?" Willow asked, "You just walked away and we didn't know what happened?"

"Oh, just another one of Giles' pep talks." Buffy replied. Giles gave her the evil eye stare and she just shrugged.

"Ah." Willow nodded and decided to shut up.

"Uh, guys?" Buffy said, playing with her hair, "There are some things I'd like to tell you."

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He just wanted lo leave. Plain and simple. Get the hell out of Sunnyhell. Nothing good ever came from staying on the place for too long.

The worst years of his unlife happened while he was there.

He meets Angelus again.

He gets crippled.

Dru leaves him.

He loses the ring of Amarra.

He gets chipped.

The list went on and on. Obviously, the slayer had something to do with everything.

Actually, being realistic, she was only doing what she was chosen to do. But that meant that he also had to blame himself for some of the things that happened to him. Had he killed her as soon as he saw her, then none of this shit would be happening. He'd be with Dru killing people on Australia or somewhere else.

Yet, nooooo, he was wandering the streets of Sunnydale, California, feeling more detached than ever, and remembering all the lousy stuff that life had dealt him.

'Tough on you, mate.'  He thought, 'Suck it up and do what you have to do.'

However, the course of action he wanted to follow only ended with two choices; either he was dust in the wind or the slayer was six feet under. He certainly didn't want to be a Kansas song and the slayer had more lives than a stupid cat.

'Then kill all her soddin' friends.'

The thought didn't surprise him, and even though it would be so satisfying to kill Harris he didn't want to. True, he had indulged himself with Soldier Boy and Angelus, but he really hated those two. Harris was a gray area, one he didn't want to think about.

More accurately, he knew that he'd kill the boy if it came to it. That kid was like a pest.

But then again, seeing Dawn's blue eyes also stirred something inside of him that he thought was dead. He once promised himself that he'd only show his feelings to that girl. She was no longer a girl but then again, she'd always be a kid to him.

Spike sighed and decided that a good drink would help him think things over.

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Dawn was trying hard not to smile. Her sister had revealed to her friends what she had done with Spike three years ago. It was a breakthrough, really, because Buffy always kept things to herself and she placed her friend's needs before her own. Xander had turned white, then green and then yellow. The poor man didn't expect that from Buffy, yet he kept quiet. Anya just smiled and also remained silent. Willow's eyes grew wide and she didn't know what to say, so she just kept blabbering. Tara was on the same ground as Dawn, trying not to show a giant grin. Giles and Jean kept their faces straight; Giles because he obviously knew and Jean because she still was more busy with the pain in her head.

'It took you three years.' Dawn thought, 'But you finally did it.'

One of the reasons why Dawn refused to say her sister's name was because Spike called her 'Slayer'. Dawn used the nickname as a way to remind Buffy all the crappy things she had done to the vampire. And since it buggered Buffy to no end, Dawn kept using the name even after her anger at her sister had faded away.

It seemed like it was time to call her 'Buffy' again.

"Wow." Dawn said, "That was like the longest step out of the closet, huh?"

"Shut up." Buffy said, without looking at her. The slayer was still waiting for the execution squad to open fire.

But the bullets never came.

"Uh, hello guys?" Dawn said, "Buffy just said that she and Spike slept together."

"I know." Willow said, blabbering a bit, "We suspected something but it's hard to hear it."

"Yeah." Tara pitched in, "It was hard to keep a secret like that for three years."

"I suppose." Willow said, and then enlightenment struck her, "Wait a minute, you knew?"

Tara smiled shyly and nodded.

"Buffy didn't tell me. I figured it out."

Buffy smiled also, thankful that Tara kept her secret for so long and because the witch covered her behind. Her friends would feel betrayed if they found out that she had only told Tara and Dawn.

Dawn.

One second.

Had she called her 'Buffy' a while ago?

"Dawn also knew." Buffy told them, "She was the only one I told the whole story."

"The whole sordid, painful, twisted, and sick story." Dawn corrected, "She just gave you the PG-13 version of it."

"Let me catch things up." Xander suddenly said, "Three years ago, you and Spike slept together."

Everyone nodded.

"Right. Tara knew then."

Tara and Buffy nodded.

"Spike then went nuts because you dumped him?"

Buffy nodded.

"He removed the chip, went ballistic on us and left, and only Dawn knew why?"

All of them nodded.

"Well, glad to see that everything's sorted out." Xander said, and he plopped on the couch.

"There's more to it." Giles said. Buffy looked down and sighed.

"What else?" Willow asked.

"I want to know something." Buffy said, as she looked at each and everyone's eyes, "What do you think of Spike, right now?"

"Homicidal freak tells you something?" Xander said.

"Weirdo." Anya replied.

"Lost." Willow sadly said.

"Don't know anymore." Tara stated.

Buffy seemed affected by the way her friends answered, but she tried to remain cool about it.

"I won't answer until you tell us what's on your mind." Dawn said. Buffy sighed once more and crossed her arms.

"I want to get Spike back." She simply said.

A general 'Uh?' ran across the house, followed by some 'Why's?' and some 'Are you crazy?'.

"Give her a chance, everyone." Giles said, "She has her reasons."

Something clicked inside of Dawn's head and she stood up from her place on the couch.

"Do you feel something for him?" She asked. Buffy looked at her.

"I don't know." Buffy said, "But before you scream, I know that I want him back here, where we can keep an eye on him."

"Fair enough." Dawn said, "Just don't pull some more of your shitty deals."

"Language, young lady." Buffy scolded, smiling.

"I'm over 18, old timer." Dawn replied.

"Sorry to interrupt," Xander said, "but have you forgotten what he did to me, Angel and Riley?"

"No, we haven't." Buffy said, "That's why the best way to ensure that nothing else like that happens is to keep him were we can control him."

"It didn't seem as if you could control him an hour ago." Xander said.

"That's something else entirely." Buffy replied.

"Oh, like the bump in my head tells otherwise." Jean said.

"It'll heal in an hour." Buffy said, smiling.

"I wish you would've told me that you'd let him win." Jean suddenly stated.

Another general 'What?!' rose inside the house. Buffy laughed, nervously.

"Yes, well, I had my reasons."

"I'd appreciate it if you let me know." Jean said, "Because if next time you zig when you should have zagged, I'm going to kick you."

"Won't happen again. I promise." Buffy smiled.

"So you're saying that you let Spike win?" Xander seemed furious.

"I had to know how much of him was left." Buffy replied.

"How? By letting him rip off a piece of your neck?"

"Calm down, Xander."

"I can't calm down! What is it with you and vampires?"

"I kill them, that's it."

"Doesn't seem like it!"

"Xander, please."

"No, Buffy! No more of it! I'm tired of this."

"Yeah? Well, I'm tired of hiding things because of you. You keep criticizing me but I never told you a thing when you abandoned Anya at the altar!"

"That's a cheap shot."

"Then stay the hell out of my personal life."

"Maybe I should."

"No, Xander. Enough of 'maybe', stay out of this. I'll do what I want, not what you want."

"It comes to this?"

"It does if you want it to."

Xander stayed silent for some minutes and then shook his head.

"We used to be best friends."

"I still think of you as my friend."

"Then why did you lie to us, Buff?"

"Look at the way you react whenever Spike is brought into the equation."

"You have to admit that he's dangerous."

"That he is, and while I'm losing time arguing with you, he's lost out there in Sunnydale, confused, chipless, and pumped up because of our fight."

Xander's point then became moot as he thought of the consequences.

"We have to find him."

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Wily had thought that he was a copycat. He didn't have the hair bleached, didn't wear the leather coat, and had been surprisingly nice when asking for a drink.

After two or three punches, Wily accepted that it was indeed Spike who was back. Most of the customers fled the place, having heard of Spike's new fame as a bounty hunter. Some demons stayed, trying to find a way to kill the vampire who wore the ring of Amarra.

Spike sat on the farthest stool from the door, and he ordered some scotch. He didn't bother to grab a glass, and he almost emptied half the bottle from one swig. The liquor burnt his throat but he welcomed the sensation. It had been a while since the last time he wanted to lose himself in scotch.

Nevertheless, he had to be careful. Should he drink himself stupid, someone could come and pry the ring off his finger. That was unacceptable.

He had already finished the first bottle and was halfway through the second when he decided to 'borrow' two more and head off Sunnydale.

'Regroup.' He thought, 'Then come back in a few days and finish this off.'

He stood up and walked towards the door.

A bottle decided to fall and Spike knelt in order to pick the offending piece of glass.

"Stupid, soddin', bloody, fucking piece of…"

He couldn't finish his sentence because he felt that singular sensation he always felt when his natural enemy was near. Without looking up he knew what awaited him. He shook his head and prepared for whatever happened next.

"You know you have a drinking problem?"

Spike was slightly disoriented by the question. He had expected a kick to the face or at least the stupid troll's hammer in his ribs. But a single, almost amicable question was out of order.

"What?" Spike growled, now turning his gaze up and staring at Buffy. His eyes instinctively turned yellow, and a low growl emanated from his throat.

"No need for that, Spike." Buffy said, "I only want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." Spike said, "Now get off my sight."

"Lose the tough talk." Buffy replied, "I don't want to hit you."

"You shouldn't be making threats, slayer." Spike growled.

"Look, can we talk for just a few minutes?" Buffy sighed.

"Don't want to." Spike said, as he stood up. He took his bottles of scotch and tried to walk past her.

"Spike, wait." She said, and she tried to grab his arm. Spike reacted and swung his arm at her, trying to hit her with a bottle. Buffy caught his arm, twisted it, and punched him in the face. All the bottles fell and Spike staggered backwards.

"Told you I want to talk." She said, "Don't make this more difficult."

Spike growled and then thought of his options. He could fight, but he was tired, drunk, and not so sure that he could win again. He could try torching the place with his lighter and all the liquor that was spilled. He could incite a fight against the slayer. After all, they were on a demon bar, and most of the customers wanted her death.

Or, lastly, he could make a run for it.

Buffy took the choice out of his hands when she grabbed him and tripped him over, making him fall down.

"Please, I won't ask nicely again." She said.

Spike felt defeated again. He knew he could still fight but he didn't want to. Not anymore. He had lost in all aspects against her.

"I assume that you'll cooperate?" She asked. He kept quiet and remained unmoving on the ground.

"Fine. I'll make the questions and you'll answer." Buffy then looked at Wily.

"You. The bar is closed."

"Hey, it's my bar!"

"I said that it's closed."

"Slayer! My clients!"

"I don't care. Everybody leaves now."

Wily knew when to argue and when not to. So he did his best to get every demon, vampire or whatever was there out of the place. Six minutes later, only a vampire and the slayer were inside the bar.

"Why didn't you kill Riley?" Buffy asked. Spike only stared numbly at the ceiling. His yellow eyes lost and confused.

"Hey. I'm talking to you. Why didn't you kill Riley or Angel?"

Nothing.

"You really should cooperate."

His eyes were still fixed on an invisible spot on the ceiling.

"Spike!"

He slowly moved his head, and his eyes stared at Buffy's. They turned back into their human color, and some recognition flashed in them. He sighed.

"Heaven and hell, slayer. You're my heaven and hell."

End of Chapter.