Disclaimer: Well, it is very obvious that the charas and so on are not
ours, because if they were, would we be sitting here writing fanfics? Don't
laugh, you don't own it own it either. The song is 'Angel of Mine' by
Monica.
BEWARE = we are _considering_ yaoi soon. Oh, we also thought that it is really slack that people write fics with Kaworu dead, or about to die, and all the sorrow Shinji has to go through, so we're making it as if Shinji refused to kill (or destroy - whichever) Kaworu. THEY'RE ALIVE AND ARE GOING TO STAY ALIVE - DEAL WITH IT!
*Song lyrics* Actions $$Flashbacks and scene changes$$ _Emphasis_ ^Thoughts^ //A/N//
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*When I first saw you I already knew There was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of mine*
A young man stood on the shore of a lake. The lake was in the middle of a deserted city. The sun was rising from the mist, bathing the world in its warmth and light. The scene was eerily surreal. The young man was Shinji Ikari at age 16. The lake was the crater caused by the 16th angel's explosion a year ago. The deserted city was Tokyo-3. The reason why Shinji had returned to this very spot was because today was significant to him.
A year ago, this was the day he met the one that lit up his heart at this very location. The treasured person was none other than Kaworu Nagisa. Shinji sighed in content as he pulled from his incoherent train of memories and emotions the feeling that Kaworu had given him. As he pulled the warmth within him, another feeling was being triggered off as well - guilt.
*I look at you, lookin' at me Now I know why they say the best things are free I'm gonna love you boy you are so fine Angel of Mine*
$$FLASHBACK$$
Shinji - I won't believe that you're evil! It doesn't have to end this way!
Kaworu - Why do you hide from the reality even when it is facing you straight on?
Shinji - You do too!
Kaworu - confused look
Shinji - The reality is that I love you. The reality is that _you_ are running away because _you_ are the one afraid of emotional contact. The reality is that I need you... stifling sob
Kaworu - still confused but Shinji, I will still die, weather it is by your hand or Major Katsuragi's. I'd rather it be by you.
Shinji - NO! I won't let them hurt you! Just promise you will live on for yourself...and for me...
$$SCENE CHANGE - STILL FLASHBACK$$
Gendo - You failed your mission, Third Child. You were ordered to destroy the enemy. Major Katsuragi, you may proceed.
Misato points a gun at the back of Kaworu's head
Kaworu and Shinji visibly flinch. Kaworu has a sympathetic look mixed with one that says 'I told you so'
Shinji - Misato stop! My mission was to stop Kaworu from causing Third Impact. I already did that! There is no need to kill him! Please listen to me!
Gendo - Destroy the Angel... it is the enemy. It must be destroyed.
Shinji - He is a lot of things! One of those things is that he is the one I love! You can't do it!
Misato drops the gun.
Misato - My main goal as his guardian was to see that Shinji was happy. If I kill Kaworu, then I won't achieve my goal.
Gendo sighs and stomps off
//A/N - imagine that, Gendo sulking off like a little baby =)//
$$SCENE CHANGE - STILL FLASHBACK$$
Misato - it is obvious that you won't separate from Kaworu. But as you may not know, he is under constant watch by snipers ready to attack at the right moment. We have decided to move you two to Tokyo-2 - there'll be less chance of Kaworu being killed. Of course they'll catch on sooner or later...but that's the best I could do.
Shinji - hugs Misato arigato Misato-san...
Misato - You will be picked up at midnight...good luck Shinji.
$$END FLASHBACK (FINALLY)$$
*How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different now, you helped me grow You came into my life sent from above When I lost all hope you showed me love I'm checkin' for ya boy you're right on time Angel of Mine*
Shigeru Aoba was in charge of Operation Falling Angel. He sighed for what seemed to be the millionth time since he had received the position. Loading the sniper gun _they_ had given him he waited on the building roof, waiting for the so-called 'target' to arrive within shot range.
Sniper gun ready, target in position, and aim almost perfect. Just as the bullet was fired, the target leaped up, narrowly missing the shot. To Shigeru's somewhat surprise, the target was now in front of his face.
"Sorry kid, nothing personal." In response the target smiled and extended his hand out in what seemed to be a friendly gesture.
"Until next time." Shigeru couldn't help but smile back. He took the offered hand and shook it with equal easiness.
"Until next time."
$$TIME PASSES - SCENE CHANGE$$
Shinji felt bad about leaving Kaworu by himself (from a not too good experience, Shinji had learnt that Kaworu had absolutely no concept in cooking whatsoever). Before he opened the door, he could have sworn that he heard loud moans of despair. He found Kaworu curled up on the couch clutching his stomach and making the aforementioned noises.
"I'm hungry..." Hearing the door open and shut, Kaworu turned around and gave a weak smile to Shinji. "You let me starve..."
"Baka." Shinji scolded fondly, "You could have made something for yourself. Or you could have just reheated last night's dinner if you were desperate."
//A/N - hate us if you want to, but we needed to give Kaworu-the-o-so- perfect a few lilim based flaws. And imagining him almost burning down a kitchen and unintentionally poisoning Shinji was slightly hilarious ^_^//
* Nothing means more to me than what we share No one in this whole world can ever compare Last night the way you moved is still on my mind Angel of Mine*
"Stop that you stupid poof." Shigeru held put an arm to stop Makoto (is that his name?) from advancing any further. Makoto sighed and pushed Shigeru's arm out of the way.
"Look who's talking..."
"What...what the hell did you mean by that?"
"Well, you're the one that seems totally engrossed in him at the moment." Makoto pointed down to the balcony where Kaworu was standing. He seemed to be off in own little world, in a serene trance. The serenity had somehow seeped through to Shigeru.
"But...you dirty pig...I was merely observing his position." As Makoto turned away, Shigeru caught a glimpse of Kaworu looking up at them and smiling slightly.
^Until next time^
Shinji had been standing in the background for some time now, doing a little observing of his own. Kaworu looked as if he was staring up at the sky.
^The sky...up in Heaven...that's where he rightfully belongs^ Shinji tried to shake off the voice but couldn't. It was right. He _did_ belong in Heaven. He was too good to be cooped up on Earth. And it was all Shinji's fault...that's why Kaworu was stuck here, only able to long for his rightful freedom.
"Shinji..." Falling down to Earth himself, Shinji found himself staring at Kaworu, who had a slightly amused look on his pale face. "Are you ok?"
"Just fine." Shinji murmured back. With that, he did an about-face and walked out the door leaving Kaworu extremely mystified about the sudden change in behavior.
$$SCENE CHANGE$$
"Ikari - what brings you back to Tokyo-3?" Rei's blank expression broke into one of confusion, not unlike the one that Kaworu had on earlier (but how was Shinji to know that?) Shinji smiled apologetically.
"I'm sorry Ayanami. I don't know what to do or where to go now." Rei tilted her head to one side and blinked.
"I do not understand. Is something wrong between you and Nagisa-kun?"
"Maybe..."
$$TIME PASSES$$
"Ikari, you are paranoid." Shinji jumped inwardly at Rei using such a statement. Either she was learning the human ways, or she was dead serious. He couldn't tell which option was more preferable.
"Um..."
"Why do you think he still wants to die?"
"Because it seems as though he's trapped here...on Earth, forever wishing that he was back up in heaven or whatever. He said that death was the ultimate freedom...I could have made him so happy by giving him his wish. I was selfish though, I kept him to myself."
"Shi...Ikari...what makes you think that he not happy now?" This, Shinji could not answer. "Being from similar origins as I, he has been brought up to love without having it returned. But now he has you, someone to show him what love is. In a sense, as he is your angel, you are his." She smiled very slightly at the last comment. "I assure you Shinji - he has no intentions of leaving you now."
Shinji stood up, having got the message that this was all she could do to help. "Thank you...Rei."
* What you mean to me you'll never know Deep inside I need to show You came into my life sent from above (Sent from above) When I lost all hope, you showed me love (Boy you showed me love) I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time (Right on Time) Angel of Mine (Angel of mine)*
It was dark when Shinji returned. Although there were no signs this time, he could sense that Kaworu was awake. Awake, and waiting for him. The sight that met his eyes this time surprised him even more than the last. There was no candles, no light bulb, nothing - but the room was dimly lit with a warm glow. There was something else as well.
Shinji could smell food.
"Shinji-bunny!"
//A/N - you guys would have no idea how funny this is to me. Oh, look at them...if you read the ending ramble, I might put in a little explanation =)//
Shinji swerved around. Kaworu was behind him - the source of the light. He was wearing a smile, but Shinji couldn't tell if he was really happy - his eyes were closed. Before he could say hi back, he found himself responding to a kiss that unmistakably said 'I missed you'.
"Kaworu...is it just me...or do I...do I smell food?" Shinji was trying to normalize his breathing again. This time, he was rewarded with a genuine smile.
"I didn't know what I did wrong, but Ayanami told me to do something special for you to say sorry. She told me that you were upset over something, but as expected, she didn't exactly tell me what." He shrugged it off and he turned his attention back to Shinji.
"It...it was nothing..." ^No, I can't tell him now...^ Shinji shook his head. "If I'm not mistaken, the last time you cooked, it was pretty unpleasant for all concerned. This smells _good_!" Kaworu's smile broadened as he received the praise.
"Oh...to quote you, it was nothing. Just a specialty I learnt at SEELE." He gestured to one of the seats at the table. "Sit, I'll be with you in a moment."
$$10 minutes later$$
"Ramen?" Shinji stared down at the bowl presented to him. It _did_ look good - if he didn't believe his eye's testimony, he couldn't deny his nose.
"Yummy-super-duper-err...oh! That's right! Yummy-super-duper-deluxe-ramen!" Kaworu hid what suspiciously looked like embarrassment behind a childish smile. "Sorry, no meat - I can't stand the stuff."
Shinji stared at the last sentence. "You mean you can't eat meat? Why didn't you tell me? Hey...what about the last month or so?"
"Well...there were the times where I fed you the meat, then there were the times where I excused myself to get more then I placed the meat either in the bin or the pot/pan, of course there were our food fights...gomen nasai Shinji-bunny, I didn't mean to upset you like this, I didn't want to hurt you by refusing the food either."
Shinji blinked. Somehow, he couldn't get or stay mad at Kaworu. "That's ok, you should have told me though. I know a few decent vegetarian dishes. Where did you learn to cook like this?" At this time, both had noodles dangling from their mouths.
"Lo...wait...there, Chairman Keel was my erm...guardian, he taught me how to make it. We also thought up of the name together too. I think the first time I completed it by myself I was around nine. He was proud of me." No matter how lighthearted the tone and story sounded, Shinji couldn't miss the shut off look in Kaworu's eyes.
*I never knew I could feel each moment As if it were new, Every breath that I take, the love that we make I only share it with you (you, you, you,you) When I first saw you I already knew There was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of Mine*
//Nyhahahahahahahahahahahahaha! They eternally _dislike_ me for using the bunny thing! Oh, skip this if you're not one for yaoi...comes to think about it, there's not going to be that much that bad anyway - we couldn't think of anything overly original, and well...that's probably it - you can't deny that most lemony fics, no matter how good they are (all hail the masters that have inspired us) are very repetitive snore//
Shinji moaned softly in delight as Kaworu launched an assault of butterfly kisses over his face, neck and now his bare chest. No matter how deep in ecstasy he was in, Shinji couldn't help wondering how much more the couch was willing to tolerate (yes, their damned hormones couldn't wait until they were on a comfy bed =)
Their lips met, and Shinji intended to keep them there as he worked on loosening Kaworu's shirt. While their tongues duked it out (we put it there intentionally - originality) they lay down on their sides in a more comfortable position. Kaworu wrapped his arms tightly around Shinji's waist while Shinji began focusing on his neck.
"Ohh...feels so good..." Kaworu's breathing became faster and shallower as Shinji's kisses progressed down his body. Although Shinji had undone most of the pants, he hesitated and directed his kisses back up to Kaworu's neck again.
"You're teasing me..." Kaworu moaned half in despair and half in pleasure. Shinji smiled in return. There was a predatory glint in Kaworu's eyes that made Shinji shiver more in anxiety than in pleasure. Kaworu started tracing the contours of Shinji's back as they launched into another kiss.
"Kaworu...why...why are you so nice to me?" Shinji could hardly speak through his ragged breathing. He gasped as Kaworu's tongue began to put Shinji through the same 'torture' that he experienced.
"Because...you deserve it." Kaworu's voice was less than a whisper, but the words brought Shinji out of his ecstasy world. Instead of purely sinful pleasure surging through his body, guilt was now pumping, spreading to every extremity. Shinji, almost fully dressed, ran out the door.
"Shinji!" Kaworu was left there, his heart wondering if it was supposed to shatter.
//A/N - incompetent fools! They can't even write enough material to last 30 seconds! NEVER EVER trust our guys to write decent (hmm...ironic) yaoi...a million apologies to all you disappointed readers//
* You came into my life sent from above (Came into my life, yeah yeah yeah) When I lost all hope you showed me love (Boy You showed me love, uh huh) I'm shakin' for ya, boy you're right on time (But boy your right on time) Angel of Mine (Angel of mine, oh mine)*
$$TIME PASSES - THE NEXT MORNING$$
Shinji knew that it was wrong. He shouldn't have run out like that, leaving Kaworu more lost than ever. The lake was beautiful, reflecting the rising sun, a symbol of new beginnings.
"Shinji..." Shinji turned around towards the voice. As he thought, there stood Kaworu. Although his physical features were as perfect as ever, Shinji found him beyond recognition. His clothes were in a state of disarray (but, that was somehow to be expected). Somehow his posture was _almost_ slumped, unable to give off that divine aura of his. Crimson eyes seemed tired, both externally, and on a much deeper level. Even though Shinji was three feet away, he could see that Kaworu had been crying, his usually long and heavy lashes sticking together.
Shinji's inner torment tripled.
"Why?" It was a whisper but Shinji heard a shut-off, flat tone. Not knowing anything else, he walked slowly towards Kaworu. The now seemingly Fallen Angel neither encouraged nor discouraged him. As Shinji pulled into a comforting embrace, Kaworu let all his weight fall into his love's arms.
"I didn't mean to cause you so much pain. Did you go looking for me all night? You know you shouldn't have." Shinji felt Kaworu's head nod slightly. Shinji hiccupped a sob and kissed the top of Kaworu's head apologetically.
"How is anything your fault?" It was evident that any pain that Kaworu had felt had melted in Shinji's warm cuddle.
"You once said that death was the ultimate freedom. You wanted it so badly." Shinji explained, not letting go, "but I denied you that freedom, I was selfish. I kept you to myself when you rightfully belonged to Heaven as one of their Angels, happily napping on a fluffy cloud." To Shinji's surprise, Kaworu pulled away. Although his eyes were still weary, there was his usual smile in place.
"Yes, I did say that. But as well as escaping from the world's sorrows, I would've been saying goodbye to the world's precious gifts as well. You may not know this, but you taught me that important lesson when you 'denied' my wish for death. I would've escaped your love."
"You looked so unhappy..."
"That must be your imagination - I have never been happier. You didn't have to go to the trouble of making me promise to live for you; a simple wish would have done the same thing. I would overcome anything, including a few assassins, just to be with you."
"As I you." Shinji brightened when he saw Kaworu's warm response. "So - are you really happy?"
Kaworu laughed slightly and held one of Shinji's hands on his own. "Very. Please don't feel guilty anymore - I forgive you, for everything. But..." Kaworu's hands dropped. A wild, almost barbaric glint in his eyes replaced the weariness. "Since you didn't 'comply' to my last wish, I ask that you fulfill another."
Shinji tore his eyes away from Kaworu's and opened the hand that was held a few moments ago. There was a small silver ring, with an alternating pattern of diamonds and rubies embedded into it. He looked back up at Kaworu, with a ecstatic, bewildered expression.
The wild look in Kaworu's eyes melted into the endless love that was reserved _only_ for Shinji as he leaned in closer.
"Will you?"
* How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different now, you helped me grow I look at you lookin' at me Now I know why they say the best things are free I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time Angel of Mine*
~owari~
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Ending ramble...
Neoangel - I'm pretty sure the readers of previous fic/s (?) will know me, but I'm here to intro you to Bunny Boy Kaworu and Bunny Boy Shinji. This was why I was laughing my head off at the whole 'Shinji-bunny' thing. You see, despite what you think, they're not a couple (or so they say ^_~) and so they get ultra-pissed when we knock on their pennames.
Again, I apologize for their lack of writing skills in general ducking from a blow by a two-by-four. I just wanted them to err...have fun ^.^ while I go off and play on Bunny Boy Shinji's X-box. As I said, I'll never ever trust them again with the responsibility of yaoi writing.
Bunny Boy Kaworu - She kept on going 'Read that scenario before...and that...oh, that's so unoriginal...' so we finally gave up and left it as it lays. So much hard work... why didn't she rewrite it or something? I bet that she can't write any herself!
Neoangel - growls I never hide my flaws - as you should know, yeah, my writing isn't that great either but it at least it lasts about a page. My style derives from the Hentai Priestess' - the style of =spontaneous-wild- frenzy-too-much-detail-one-shot= and I doubt that Shinji and Kaworu can go into a wild frenzy after eating a bunch of ramen - I can't even freaking wobble properly after eating a bowl... -_-;;;;;
Bunny Boy Shinji - you mean _she_ taught you??? Eek, what an intro into the hentai world...
Neoangel - that's why I converted to liking scenes with a plot before and afterwards. But trust me, when you see the extremes, everything else ends up being overrated, so don't take my complaining seriously. ^_^
Bunny Boy Shinji - thanks I suppose. Anyhoo...I get left with the privilege of asking you nice people to review this fic, flames or no, we'd like to have that piece of mind of knowing that somebody out there read it!
BEWARE = we are _considering_ yaoi soon. Oh, we also thought that it is really slack that people write fics with Kaworu dead, or about to die, and all the sorrow Shinji has to go through, so we're making it as if Shinji refused to kill (or destroy - whichever) Kaworu. THEY'RE ALIVE AND ARE GOING TO STAY ALIVE - DEAL WITH IT!
*Song lyrics* Actions $$Flashbacks and scene changes$$ _Emphasis_ ^Thoughts^ //A/N//
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*When I first saw you I already knew There was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of mine*
A young man stood on the shore of a lake. The lake was in the middle of a deserted city. The sun was rising from the mist, bathing the world in its warmth and light. The scene was eerily surreal. The young man was Shinji Ikari at age 16. The lake was the crater caused by the 16th angel's explosion a year ago. The deserted city was Tokyo-3. The reason why Shinji had returned to this very spot was because today was significant to him.
A year ago, this was the day he met the one that lit up his heart at this very location. The treasured person was none other than Kaworu Nagisa. Shinji sighed in content as he pulled from his incoherent train of memories and emotions the feeling that Kaworu had given him. As he pulled the warmth within him, another feeling was being triggered off as well - guilt.
*I look at you, lookin' at me Now I know why they say the best things are free I'm gonna love you boy you are so fine Angel of Mine*
$$FLASHBACK$$
Shinji - I won't believe that you're evil! It doesn't have to end this way!
Kaworu - Why do you hide from the reality even when it is facing you straight on?
Shinji - You do too!
Kaworu - confused look
Shinji - The reality is that I love you. The reality is that _you_ are running away because _you_ are the one afraid of emotional contact. The reality is that I need you... stifling sob
Kaworu - still confused but Shinji, I will still die, weather it is by your hand or Major Katsuragi's. I'd rather it be by you.
Shinji - NO! I won't let them hurt you! Just promise you will live on for yourself...and for me...
$$SCENE CHANGE - STILL FLASHBACK$$
Gendo - You failed your mission, Third Child. You were ordered to destroy the enemy. Major Katsuragi, you may proceed.
Misato points a gun at the back of Kaworu's head
Kaworu and Shinji visibly flinch. Kaworu has a sympathetic look mixed with one that says 'I told you so'
Shinji - Misato stop! My mission was to stop Kaworu from causing Third Impact. I already did that! There is no need to kill him! Please listen to me!
Gendo - Destroy the Angel... it is the enemy. It must be destroyed.
Shinji - He is a lot of things! One of those things is that he is the one I love! You can't do it!
Misato drops the gun.
Misato - My main goal as his guardian was to see that Shinji was happy. If I kill Kaworu, then I won't achieve my goal.
Gendo sighs and stomps off
//A/N - imagine that, Gendo sulking off like a little baby =)//
$$SCENE CHANGE - STILL FLASHBACK$$
Misato - it is obvious that you won't separate from Kaworu. But as you may not know, he is under constant watch by snipers ready to attack at the right moment. We have decided to move you two to Tokyo-2 - there'll be less chance of Kaworu being killed. Of course they'll catch on sooner or later...but that's the best I could do.
Shinji - hugs Misato arigato Misato-san...
Misato - You will be picked up at midnight...good luck Shinji.
$$END FLASHBACK (FINALLY)$$
*How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different now, you helped me grow You came into my life sent from above When I lost all hope you showed me love I'm checkin' for ya boy you're right on time Angel of Mine*
Shigeru Aoba was in charge of Operation Falling Angel. He sighed for what seemed to be the millionth time since he had received the position. Loading the sniper gun _they_ had given him he waited on the building roof, waiting for the so-called 'target' to arrive within shot range.
Sniper gun ready, target in position, and aim almost perfect. Just as the bullet was fired, the target leaped up, narrowly missing the shot. To Shigeru's somewhat surprise, the target was now in front of his face.
"Sorry kid, nothing personal." In response the target smiled and extended his hand out in what seemed to be a friendly gesture.
"Until next time." Shigeru couldn't help but smile back. He took the offered hand and shook it with equal easiness.
"Until next time."
$$TIME PASSES - SCENE CHANGE$$
Shinji felt bad about leaving Kaworu by himself (from a not too good experience, Shinji had learnt that Kaworu had absolutely no concept in cooking whatsoever). Before he opened the door, he could have sworn that he heard loud moans of despair. He found Kaworu curled up on the couch clutching his stomach and making the aforementioned noises.
"I'm hungry..." Hearing the door open and shut, Kaworu turned around and gave a weak smile to Shinji. "You let me starve..."
"Baka." Shinji scolded fondly, "You could have made something for yourself. Or you could have just reheated last night's dinner if you were desperate."
//A/N - hate us if you want to, but we needed to give Kaworu-the-o-so- perfect a few lilim based flaws. And imagining him almost burning down a kitchen and unintentionally poisoning Shinji was slightly hilarious ^_^//
* Nothing means more to me than what we share No one in this whole world can ever compare Last night the way you moved is still on my mind Angel of Mine*
"Stop that you stupid poof." Shigeru held put an arm to stop Makoto (is that his name?) from advancing any further. Makoto sighed and pushed Shigeru's arm out of the way.
"Look who's talking..."
"What...what the hell did you mean by that?"
"Well, you're the one that seems totally engrossed in him at the moment." Makoto pointed down to the balcony where Kaworu was standing. He seemed to be off in own little world, in a serene trance. The serenity had somehow seeped through to Shigeru.
"But...you dirty pig...I was merely observing his position." As Makoto turned away, Shigeru caught a glimpse of Kaworu looking up at them and smiling slightly.
^Until next time^
Shinji had been standing in the background for some time now, doing a little observing of his own. Kaworu looked as if he was staring up at the sky.
^The sky...up in Heaven...that's where he rightfully belongs^ Shinji tried to shake off the voice but couldn't. It was right. He _did_ belong in Heaven. He was too good to be cooped up on Earth. And it was all Shinji's fault...that's why Kaworu was stuck here, only able to long for his rightful freedom.
"Shinji..." Falling down to Earth himself, Shinji found himself staring at Kaworu, who had a slightly amused look on his pale face. "Are you ok?"
"Just fine." Shinji murmured back. With that, he did an about-face and walked out the door leaving Kaworu extremely mystified about the sudden change in behavior.
$$SCENE CHANGE$$
"Ikari - what brings you back to Tokyo-3?" Rei's blank expression broke into one of confusion, not unlike the one that Kaworu had on earlier (but how was Shinji to know that?) Shinji smiled apologetically.
"I'm sorry Ayanami. I don't know what to do or where to go now." Rei tilted her head to one side and blinked.
"I do not understand. Is something wrong between you and Nagisa-kun?"
"Maybe..."
$$TIME PASSES$$
"Ikari, you are paranoid." Shinji jumped inwardly at Rei using such a statement. Either she was learning the human ways, or she was dead serious. He couldn't tell which option was more preferable.
"Um..."
"Why do you think he still wants to die?"
"Because it seems as though he's trapped here...on Earth, forever wishing that he was back up in heaven or whatever. He said that death was the ultimate freedom...I could have made him so happy by giving him his wish. I was selfish though, I kept him to myself."
"Shi...Ikari...what makes you think that he not happy now?" This, Shinji could not answer. "Being from similar origins as I, he has been brought up to love without having it returned. But now he has you, someone to show him what love is. In a sense, as he is your angel, you are his." She smiled very slightly at the last comment. "I assure you Shinji - he has no intentions of leaving you now."
Shinji stood up, having got the message that this was all she could do to help. "Thank you...Rei."
* What you mean to me you'll never know Deep inside I need to show You came into my life sent from above (Sent from above) When I lost all hope, you showed me love (Boy you showed me love) I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time (Right on Time) Angel of Mine (Angel of mine)*
It was dark when Shinji returned. Although there were no signs this time, he could sense that Kaworu was awake. Awake, and waiting for him. The sight that met his eyes this time surprised him even more than the last. There was no candles, no light bulb, nothing - but the room was dimly lit with a warm glow. There was something else as well.
Shinji could smell food.
"Shinji-bunny!"
//A/N - you guys would have no idea how funny this is to me. Oh, look at them...if you read the ending ramble, I might put in a little explanation =)//
Shinji swerved around. Kaworu was behind him - the source of the light. He was wearing a smile, but Shinji couldn't tell if he was really happy - his eyes were closed. Before he could say hi back, he found himself responding to a kiss that unmistakably said 'I missed you'.
"Kaworu...is it just me...or do I...do I smell food?" Shinji was trying to normalize his breathing again. This time, he was rewarded with a genuine smile.
"I didn't know what I did wrong, but Ayanami told me to do something special for you to say sorry. She told me that you were upset over something, but as expected, she didn't exactly tell me what." He shrugged it off and he turned his attention back to Shinji.
"It...it was nothing..." ^No, I can't tell him now...^ Shinji shook his head. "If I'm not mistaken, the last time you cooked, it was pretty unpleasant for all concerned. This smells _good_!" Kaworu's smile broadened as he received the praise.
"Oh...to quote you, it was nothing. Just a specialty I learnt at SEELE." He gestured to one of the seats at the table. "Sit, I'll be with you in a moment."
$$10 minutes later$$
"Ramen?" Shinji stared down at the bowl presented to him. It _did_ look good - if he didn't believe his eye's testimony, he couldn't deny his nose.
"Yummy-super-duper-err...oh! That's right! Yummy-super-duper-deluxe-ramen!" Kaworu hid what suspiciously looked like embarrassment behind a childish smile. "Sorry, no meat - I can't stand the stuff."
Shinji stared at the last sentence. "You mean you can't eat meat? Why didn't you tell me? Hey...what about the last month or so?"
"Well...there were the times where I fed you the meat, then there were the times where I excused myself to get more then I placed the meat either in the bin or the pot/pan, of course there were our food fights...gomen nasai Shinji-bunny, I didn't mean to upset you like this, I didn't want to hurt you by refusing the food either."
Shinji blinked. Somehow, he couldn't get or stay mad at Kaworu. "That's ok, you should have told me though. I know a few decent vegetarian dishes. Where did you learn to cook like this?" At this time, both had noodles dangling from their mouths.
"Lo...wait...there, Chairman Keel was my erm...guardian, he taught me how to make it. We also thought up of the name together too. I think the first time I completed it by myself I was around nine. He was proud of me." No matter how lighthearted the tone and story sounded, Shinji couldn't miss the shut off look in Kaworu's eyes.
*I never knew I could feel each moment As if it were new, Every breath that I take, the love that we make I only share it with you (you, you, you,you) When I first saw you I already knew There was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of Mine*
//Nyhahahahahahahahahahahahaha! They eternally _dislike_ me for using the bunny thing! Oh, skip this if you're not one for yaoi...comes to think about it, there's not going to be that much that bad anyway - we couldn't think of anything overly original, and well...that's probably it - you can't deny that most lemony fics, no matter how good they are (all hail the masters that have inspired us) are very repetitive snore//
Shinji moaned softly in delight as Kaworu launched an assault of butterfly kisses over his face, neck and now his bare chest. No matter how deep in ecstasy he was in, Shinji couldn't help wondering how much more the couch was willing to tolerate (yes, their damned hormones couldn't wait until they were on a comfy bed =)
Their lips met, and Shinji intended to keep them there as he worked on loosening Kaworu's shirt. While their tongues duked it out (we put it there intentionally - originality) they lay down on their sides in a more comfortable position. Kaworu wrapped his arms tightly around Shinji's waist while Shinji began focusing on his neck.
"Ohh...feels so good..." Kaworu's breathing became faster and shallower as Shinji's kisses progressed down his body. Although Shinji had undone most of the pants, he hesitated and directed his kisses back up to Kaworu's neck again.
"You're teasing me..." Kaworu moaned half in despair and half in pleasure. Shinji smiled in return. There was a predatory glint in Kaworu's eyes that made Shinji shiver more in anxiety than in pleasure. Kaworu started tracing the contours of Shinji's back as they launched into another kiss.
"Kaworu...why...why are you so nice to me?" Shinji could hardly speak through his ragged breathing. He gasped as Kaworu's tongue began to put Shinji through the same 'torture' that he experienced.
"Because...you deserve it." Kaworu's voice was less than a whisper, but the words brought Shinji out of his ecstasy world. Instead of purely sinful pleasure surging through his body, guilt was now pumping, spreading to every extremity. Shinji, almost fully dressed, ran out the door.
"Shinji!" Kaworu was left there, his heart wondering if it was supposed to shatter.
//A/N - incompetent fools! They can't even write enough material to last 30 seconds! NEVER EVER trust our guys to write decent (hmm...ironic) yaoi...a million apologies to all you disappointed readers//
* You came into my life sent from above (Came into my life, yeah yeah yeah) When I lost all hope you showed me love (Boy You showed me love, uh huh) I'm shakin' for ya, boy you're right on time (But boy your right on time) Angel of Mine (Angel of mine, oh mine)*
$$TIME PASSES - THE NEXT MORNING$$
Shinji knew that it was wrong. He shouldn't have run out like that, leaving Kaworu more lost than ever. The lake was beautiful, reflecting the rising sun, a symbol of new beginnings.
"Shinji..." Shinji turned around towards the voice. As he thought, there stood Kaworu. Although his physical features were as perfect as ever, Shinji found him beyond recognition. His clothes were in a state of disarray (but, that was somehow to be expected). Somehow his posture was _almost_ slumped, unable to give off that divine aura of his. Crimson eyes seemed tired, both externally, and on a much deeper level. Even though Shinji was three feet away, he could see that Kaworu had been crying, his usually long and heavy lashes sticking together.
Shinji's inner torment tripled.
"Why?" It was a whisper but Shinji heard a shut-off, flat tone. Not knowing anything else, he walked slowly towards Kaworu. The now seemingly Fallen Angel neither encouraged nor discouraged him. As Shinji pulled into a comforting embrace, Kaworu let all his weight fall into his love's arms.
"I didn't mean to cause you so much pain. Did you go looking for me all night? You know you shouldn't have." Shinji felt Kaworu's head nod slightly. Shinji hiccupped a sob and kissed the top of Kaworu's head apologetically.
"How is anything your fault?" It was evident that any pain that Kaworu had felt had melted in Shinji's warm cuddle.
"You once said that death was the ultimate freedom. You wanted it so badly." Shinji explained, not letting go, "but I denied you that freedom, I was selfish. I kept you to myself when you rightfully belonged to Heaven as one of their Angels, happily napping on a fluffy cloud." To Shinji's surprise, Kaworu pulled away. Although his eyes were still weary, there was his usual smile in place.
"Yes, I did say that. But as well as escaping from the world's sorrows, I would've been saying goodbye to the world's precious gifts as well. You may not know this, but you taught me that important lesson when you 'denied' my wish for death. I would've escaped your love."
"You looked so unhappy..."
"That must be your imagination - I have never been happier. You didn't have to go to the trouble of making me promise to live for you; a simple wish would have done the same thing. I would overcome anything, including a few assassins, just to be with you."
"As I you." Shinji brightened when he saw Kaworu's warm response. "So - are you really happy?"
Kaworu laughed slightly and held one of Shinji's hands on his own. "Very. Please don't feel guilty anymore - I forgive you, for everything. But..." Kaworu's hands dropped. A wild, almost barbaric glint in his eyes replaced the weariness. "Since you didn't 'comply' to my last wish, I ask that you fulfill another."
Shinji tore his eyes away from Kaworu's and opened the hand that was held a few moments ago. There was a small silver ring, with an alternating pattern of diamonds and rubies embedded into it. He looked back up at Kaworu, with a ecstatic, bewildered expression.
The wild look in Kaworu's eyes melted into the endless love that was reserved _only_ for Shinji as he leaned in closer.
"Will you?"
* How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different now, you helped me grow I look at you lookin' at me Now I know why they say the best things are free I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time Angel of Mine*
~owari~
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Ending ramble...
Neoangel - I'm pretty sure the readers of previous fic/s (?) will know me, but I'm here to intro you to Bunny Boy Kaworu and Bunny Boy Shinji. This was why I was laughing my head off at the whole 'Shinji-bunny' thing. You see, despite what you think, they're not a couple (or so they say ^_~) and so they get ultra-pissed when we knock on their pennames.
Again, I apologize for their lack of writing skills in general ducking from a blow by a two-by-four. I just wanted them to err...have fun ^.^ while I go off and play on Bunny Boy Shinji's X-box. As I said, I'll never ever trust them again with the responsibility of yaoi writing.
Bunny Boy Kaworu - She kept on going 'Read that scenario before...and that...oh, that's so unoriginal...' so we finally gave up and left it as it lays. So much hard work... why didn't she rewrite it or something? I bet that she can't write any herself!
Neoangel - growls I never hide my flaws - as you should know, yeah, my writing isn't that great either but it at least it lasts about a page. My style derives from the Hentai Priestess' - the style of =spontaneous-wild- frenzy-too-much-detail-one-shot= and I doubt that Shinji and Kaworu can go into a wild frenzy after eating a bunch of ramen - I can't even freaking wobble properly after eating a bowl... -_-;;;;;
Bunny Boy Shinji - you mean _she_ taught you??? Eek, what an intro into the hentai world...
Neoangel - that's why I converted to liking scenes with a plot before and afterwards. But trust me, when you see the extremes, everything else ends up being overrated, so don't take my complaining seriously. ^_^
Bunny Boy Shinji - thanks I suppose. Anyhoo...I get left with the privilege of asking you nice people to review this fic, flames or no, we'd like to have that piece of mind of knowing that somebody out there read it!