Note: Normal Bakura = Bakura. Yami Bakura = Yami Bakura/ Ryou (whichever
one I type first. It may switch throughout the story) Yes, most authors
call normal Bakura Ryou most of the time, but first, I'm not normal, and
second, I think Bakura is a cute name and should be used for the cuter of
the two. =)
Pure insanity, and don't look too hard for the underlying meaning!!
Bakura went into the kitchen early one morning, rubbing his eyes tiredly. 'What ungodly hour is it this morning, anyway?' he wondered as he brushed his long hair out of his eyes and blinked at the clock on the oven for a moment.
5:30.
The neon green numbers proved it was indeed an insane time to be up in the morning, especially on a Saturday.
'Why the heck did I wake up so early?' Bakura wondered further as he blinked stupidly at the clock, as if it held the answer to the question he sought an answer to.
The clock, of course, did nothing, except blink to 5:31.
Sighing, Bakura moved to go to the refrigerator to get some orange juice to hopefully wake him up fully, and he nearly jumped twenty feet in the air (even though the ceiling was only ten feet high), when someone tapped him on the shoulder.
"Why are you up so early?" came the calm, collected voice behind him.
"Yami!" said Bakura, turning to face his yami. "What are you doing up so early?"
"What are YOU doing up so early, hikari?" replied yami Bakura, glancing at the clock.
"I asked you first," pouted the first, giving his yami huge puppy eyes. "Go on, tell me."
Sullen at being made to talk first, Ryou said, "Well, if you must know, I was sleeping. And then I woke up I was hungry. I decided I wanted a sandwich. So I went to the store and stole a sandwich."
Bakura blinked. "Wait, let me get this straight. You went to the store and *stole* a SANDWICH?" He looked at his yami, wondering what in the world had possessed him to steal a sandwich at 5:30 in the morning.
His yami gave him a 'well, duh' look. "And it was the best sandwich I ever had. Now, if you'll excuse me . . ." He moved to go back out of the room, but his hikari stopped him by crossing in front of him, and efficiently blocking the only way out.
"No, you're not leaving," Bakura said, crossing his arms across his chest. "Not until you tell me why you stole a SANDWICH out of all things." His expression reminded his yami of a mother scolding their child.
"Does it matter? I just wanted a sandwich." Yami Bakura rolled his eyes, wanting to go back to sleep. "Don't go all Yugi on me and preach about goodness. Please. Spare me."
"I'm not about to do that," Bakura assured him, "But you know, you do have a point . . ."
"No, no!" his yami said quickly, holding his hands up, "Just don't think about what Yugi would say if he caught me stealing a sandwich and -"
"You could have MADE a sandwich, you know. We have plenty of bread and cheese and meat and whatnot in the refrigerator." Bakura cut him off, and sighed, wondering just what to do with his troublesome yami.
"I didn't want a ham sandwich, and all we have is ham. And cheddar. I hate cheddar!" his Yami ranted.
"You know," Bakura said, sighing, "We went shopping last week and when I asked what cheese I should get and you said 'get the cheddar!' and I said 'I thought you didn't like cheddar'. But nooo, you had to get the bloody cheddar, and you don't like it! You have no one to blame right now but yourself." Bakura muttered to himself, "Get the cheddar he says."
"Leave me out of this," muttered Ryou, staring sullenly at the wall. The clock clicked to 5:34.
Exasperated, Bakura threw his hands up into the air, "Leave you out of this? This is all because of you!" He paused, wondering why he was getting so worked up about this, and added with another sigh, "So if you don't like ham and cheddar, what did you end up getting?"
Yami Bakura's eyes darted around the room; it was obvious he did not want to say.
"Don't tell me you got ham and cheddar," Bakura said, eyes wide in amazement as he realized. "Don't bloody tell me you got ham and cheddar!"
His yami stared sullenly at the ground, refusing to speak.
"I don't believe this," Bakura said, shaking his head. "Could you please tell me what the logic is behind stealing a ham and cheddar sandwich when you supposedly hate them? And why steal it to begin with? Why not buy it?"
"Oh, but there's such a difference in stealing and in buying," Yami Bakura replied, shoujo bubbles beginning to float all around him, in pink and purple, and yellow, and all sorts of colors. "The feeling of joy you get when you successfully complete the theft . . . the knowledge that you can, indeed, steal stuff from people without them noticing. . ."
Bakura's eyes got wide at the site of his yami surrounded by shoujo bubbles. "Yeah, and if you steal, you can get in trouble."
"I'll never get caught," Ryou replied proudly. "I know how to rob a tomb, I can do a simple thing like get a sandwich. If five feet thick stone walls on a pyramid can't keep me out, do you honestly think that a measly locked door will?"
"Well, no, but . . . ."
"And if I CAN do something, doesn't it make sense I should do it? Especially if I can do it well?"
"Well, yes, but . . ."
"And if I'm really good at it, shouldn't I continue to do it over and over again, because I WON'T get caught?"
"Well, no, but that's not the point . . ."
"What is the point then?" yami Bakura blinked.
"The point is . . . why bother stealing a sandwich when you could just make one?" Bakura looked at his yami, raising an eyebrow. "Well?"
For the third time in a row, his yami stared sullenly at the ground. He muttered something that sounded like, "Mumble mumble, dunno, mumble."
"Louder, I couldn't hear you," said Bakura, beginning to enjoy watching his yami so upset over a sandwich, and realizing what his yami had said.
"I don't know HOW to!" replied Yami Bakura. "It's not my fault! There was no such thing as a ham and cheddar sandwich back in Egypt."
"You know I would have helped you, right?" Bakura said, smiling amusedly.
Once again, Ryou grumbled at the ground. "I don't need help."
Bakura sighed, and said, "Well, the next time you want a sandwich, ask for help, will ya? I don't need you shoplifting sandwiches at every time you want one." He paused, "What next? Are you going to steal individually wrapped slices of cheese?" He added as a joke to lighten the mood.
Yami Bakura lifted an eyebrow, "Now what's so bad about that?"
"I don't believe this!" Bakura raised his eyes towards the heavens, feeling torn between wanting to scream and laugh. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"No, it's more like what didn't you do," said Yami Bakura, "But here, have some cheese." He pulled out an individually wrapped slice of cheese from a pocket that he didn't really have, and gave it to Bakura.
"Umm, thanks, I think."
"Try it, it's good," his yami replied. "It's some sort of new cheese. . . it's called American cheese."
"Indeed." Bakura raised an eyebrow, and stared dubiously at the cheese before slowly unwrapping it.
"Go on," encouraged his yami.
Bakura slowly tossed the wrapper aside and brought the cheese up to his lips. He stared at the cheese again for a moment before closing his eyes and taking a bite of it. He chewed slowly, trying to discern whether or not he liked this 'american' cheese.
"Well?" Yami Bakura asked, impatiently. "Do you like it or not?"
Bakura swallowed the little bite he took and then took another. And another. And another.
"So you do like it!" said his yami happily.
Bakura threw the cheese onto the counter, and said, "No. It sucks."
His yami blinked for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened when Bakura said, "Listen. Right now I don't care about cheese. Or sandwiches for that matter. I just want to get some sleep. Ok?"
His yami continued to blink. "But . . . just a minute ago you were yelling at me for stealing a sandwich."
"Oh, well, I got over it."
Confused beyond belief, yami Bakura watched as his hikari exited the room, saying as he left, "Call me if you need another sandwich, will you?"
There was a long pause and yami Bakura looked at the ground, then at the clock, which now read 5:40.
"Most pointless ten minutes of my life, and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . now I want another sandwich," Ryou said to himself. He whistled quietly to himself as he walked out of the house and down to the store for a sandwich.
And, on second thought, he went back to the store again and stole a sandwich for Bakura as well.
Pure insanity, and don't look too hard for the underlying meaning!!
Bakura went into the kitchen early one morning, rubbing his eyes tiredly. 'What ungodly hour is it this morning, anyway?' he wondered as he brushed his long hair out of his eyes and blinked at the clock on the oven for a moment.
5:30.
The neon green numbers proved it was indeed an insane time to be up in the morning, especially on a Saturday.
'Why the heck did I wake up so early?' Bakura wondered further as he blinked stupidly at the clock, as if it held the answer to the question he sought an answer to.
The clock, of course, did nothing, except blink to 5:31.
Sighing, Bakura moved to go to the refrigerator to get some orange juice to hopefully wake him up fully, and he nearly jumped twenty feet in the air (even though the ceiling was only ten feet high), when someone tapped him on the shoulder.
"Why are you up so early?" came the calm, collected voice behind him.
"Yami!" said Bakura, turning to face his yami. "What are you doing up so early?"
"What are YOU doing up so early, hikari?" replied yami Bakura, glancing at the clock.
"I asked you first," pouted the first, giving his yami huge puppy eyes. "Go on, tell me."
Sullen at being made to talk first, Ryou said, "Well, if you must know, I was sleeping. And then I woke up I was hungry. I decided I wanted a sandwich. So I went to the store and stole a sandwich."
Bakura blinked. "Wait, let me get this straight. You went to the store and *stole* a SANDWICH?" He looked at his yami, wondering what in the world had possessed him to steal a sandwich at 5:30 in the morning.
His yami gave him a 'well, duh' look. "And it was the best sandwich I ever had. Now, if you'll excuse me . . ." He moved to go back out of the room, but his hikari stopped him by crossing in front of him, and efficiently blocking the only way out.
"No, you're not leaving," Bakura said, crossing his arms across his chest. "Not until you tell me why you stole a SANDWICH out of all things." His expression reminded his yami of a mother scolding their child.
"Does it matter? I just wanted a sandwich." Yami Bakura rolled his eyes, wanting to go back to sleep. "Don't go all Yugi on me and preach about goodness. Please. Spare me."
"I'm not about to do that," Bakura assured him, "But you know, you do have a point . . ."
"No, no!" his yami said quickly, holding his hands up, "Just don't think about what Yugi would say if he caught me stealing a sandwich and -"
"You could have MADE a sandwich, you know. We have plenty of bread and cheese and meat and whatnot in the refrigerator." Bakura cut him off, and sighed, wondering just what to do with his troublesome yami.
"I didn't want a ham sandwich, and all we have is ham. And cheddar. I hate cheddar!" his Yami ranted.
"You know," Bakura said, sighing, "We went shopping last week and when I asked what cheese I should get and you said 'get the cheddar!' and I said 'I thought you didn't like cheddar'. But nooo, you had to get the bloody cheddar, and you don't like it! You have no one to blame right now but yourself." Bakura muttered to himself, "Get the cheddar he says."
"Leave me out of this," muttered Ryou, staring sullenly at the wall. The clock clicked to 5:34.
Exasperated, Bakura threw his hands up into the air, "Leave you out of this? This is all because of you!" He paused, wondering why he was getting so worked up about this, and added with another sigh, "So if you don't like ham and cheddar, what did you end up getting?"
Yami Bakura's eyes darted around the room; it was obvious he did not want to say.
"Don't tell me you got ham and cheddar," Bakura said, eyes wide in amazement as he realized. "Don't bloody tell me you got ham and cheddar!"
His yami stared sullenly at the ground, refusing to speak.
"I don't believe this," Bakura said, shaking his head. "Could you please tell me what the logic is behind stealing a ham and cheddar sandwich when you supposedly hate them? And why steal it to begin with? Why not buy it?"
"Oh, but there's such a difference in stealing and in buying," Yami Bakura replied, shoujo bubbles beginning to float all around him, in pink and purple, and yellow, and all sorts of colors. "The feeling of joy you get when you successfully complete the theft . . . the knowledge that you can, indeed, steal stuff from people without them noticing. . ."
Bakura's eyes got wide at the site of his yami surrounded by shoujo bubbles. "Yeah, and if you steal, you can get in trouble."
"I'll never get caught," Ryou replied proudly. "I know how to rob a tomb, I can do a simple thing like get a sandwich. If five feet thick stone walls on a pyramid can't keep me out, do you honestly think that a measly locked door will?"
"Well, no, but . . . ."
"And if I CAN do something, doesn't it make sense I should do it? Especially if I can do it well?"
"Well, yes, but . . ."
"And if I'm really good at it, shouldn't I continue to do it over and over again, because I WON'T get caught?"
"Well, no, but that's not the point . . ."
"What is the point then?" yami Bakura blinked.
"The point is . . . why bother stealing a sandwich when you could just make one?" Bakura looked at his yami, raising an eyebrow. "Well?"
For the third time in a row, his yami stared sullenly at the ground. He muttered something that sounded like, "Mumble mumble, dunno, mumble."
"Louder, I couldn't hear you," said Bakura, beginning to enjoy watching his yami so upset over a sandwich, and realizing what his yami had said.
"I don't know HOW to!" replied Yami Bakura. "It's not my fault! There was no such thing as a ham and cheddar sandwich back in Egypt."
"You know I would have helped you, right?" Bakura said, smiling amusedly.
Once again, Ryou grumbled at the ground. "I don't need help."
Bakura sighed, and said, "Well, the next time you want a sandwich, ask for help, will ya? I don't need you shoplifting sandwiches at every time you want one." He paused, "What next? Are you going to steal individually wrapped slices of cheese?" He added as a joke to lighten the mood.
Yami Bakura lifted an eyebrow, "Now what's so bad about that?"
"I don't believe this!" Bakura raised his eyes towards the heavens, feeling torn between wanting to scream and laugh. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"No, it's more like what didn't you do," said Yami Bakura, "But here, have some cheese." He pulled out an individually wrapped slice of cheese from a pocket that he didn't really have, and gave it to Bakura.
"Umm, thanks, I think."
"Try it, it's good," his yami replied. "It's some sort of new cheese. . . it's called American cheese."
"Indeed." Bakura raised an eyebrow, and stared dubiously at the cheese before slowly unwrapping it.
"Go on," encouraged his yami.
Bakura slowly tossed the wrapper aside and brought the cheese up to his lips. He stared at the cheese again for a moment before closing his eyes and taking a bite of it. He chewed slowly, trying to discern whether or not he liked this 'american' cheese.
"Well?" Yami Bakura asked, impatiently. "Do you like it or not?"
Bakura swallowed the little bite he took and then took another. And another. And another.
"So you do like it!" said his yami happily.
Bakura threw the cheese onto the counter, and said, "No. It sucks."
His yami blinked for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened when Bakura said, "Listen. Right now I don't care about cheese. Or sandwiches for that matter. I just want to get some sleep. Ok?"
His yami continued to blink. "But . . . just a minute ago you were yelling at me for stealing a sandwich."
"Oh, well, I got over it."
Confused beyond belief, yami Bakura watched as his hikari exited the room, saying as he left, "Call me if you need another sandwich, will you?"
There was a long pause and yami Bakura looked at the ground, then at the clock, which now read 5:40.
"Most pointless ten minutes of my life, and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . now I want another sandwich," Ryou said to himself. He whistled quietly to himself as he walked out of the house and down to the store for a sandwich.
And, on second thought, he went back to the store again and stole a sandwich for Bakura as well.