Disclaimer: I think that the plot is mine. What you recognize isn't, but then, you're all smart, discerning readers, and knew that already, and I'm just rambling to myself.

It was an explosion fit for the Guy Fawkes day. "I didn't- bloody Hell, what's in those cans!" Hermione hurried over to where Ron stood sputtering and cursing and Snape was glaring.

"How on earth could you be so stupid, Ron? We told you that they were fizzy, and didn't you hear me warning you? No, you're a big macho man, who never does anything wrong- look what you did to Professor Snape!" It was at this moment that Snape cast a quick spell, grimacing at having to admit to any knowledge of charms, that cleaned the spilt soda off of everything- everything but Ron.

Ron stood there, silent for once. He was soaked, sticky, had forgotten the charm to reverse that, and was at the wrong end of one of Snape's harsher looks. Everyone in the room was looking at him. He ran.

* * * * *

When Harry and Hermione finally found Ron, it was locked in Moaning Myrtles bathroom. "Ron! Get out here- NOW! You're late for Divination, and I am not skipping Arithmancy. Oh, for- Myrtle, can you come talk to us?" Hermione pleaded.

Myrtle slid through the wall faster than they had ever seen her go. "Oh," she sobbed, "Oh, he's even making me depressed... more depressed. He's your friend, get him out of my bathroom... I just want to sit on the sink, and think about the fact that I'll never get to taste a soda... or go to the ball..."

"Myrtle. Snap out of it. We'd get Ron out of there if we could get in."

Harry's comment only served to start Myrtle weeping louder. "There you go once more- I'll never open another door, or get locked out," She suddenly glared at them both. "I don't think I will help you in!"

"Myrtle, come on!" Harry pleaded, "We truly didn't mean anything by what we've said."

"I don't believe you. I think-" Myrtle was cut off by Hermione, who had had enough.

"Ron, we've tried being polite. You are being a fool, and we're coming in whether you like it or not. Alohamora!" The door flew open to reveal Ron, face brilliant red and clashing horribly with his hair, glaring menacingly at them.

Harry was never sure whether it was a backlash laugh, heroically held back from the incident with the pop can, or just the sight of Ron verily steaming out the ears, still covered in Pepsi, or perhaps a combination of the two, but he couldn't help it. He let out a gigantic snort, then started to laugh hysterically. It wasn't a soft, polite little church laugh, but a gigantic guffawing noise that filled up the chamber and echoed through the Hall.

Ron and Hermione both looked at him in shock.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!? THIS IS NOT FUNNY! I LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT OUT THERE!" Ron screamed as loudly as he could, which was loud enough to annoy some very proper paintings three or four corridors away, and even Hermione looked at Harry with disapproval.

Harry tried to control himself, he really did, but it was far too much. Ron looked like he was about to start yelling again when someone interrupted. "What a touching show we have here.. the trio, all split up. You forgot your book," Snape threw the debate book to the ground, and added, "And then we had the issue of some sort of suitable punishment..."

Not being able to stop laughing suddenly was very much a non-issue. The bite to Snape's voice made it difficult to imagine any scrap of humor surviving in a hundred foot radius, he was so cuttingly cold. Ron blanched, unconsciously backing away.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley. What could we possibly do with you- assaulting a teacher, soiling school property, and running away. Why, I do believe you will be getting a Howler from your dear mother in the near future. Shall it be suspension- or merely a month of detentions. Not to mention the hundred points lost."

It was more than unfair. "Professor, Ron made a mistake. He's human. You must grant him the right to be human, and, as such, imperfect. No lasting damage was done, no damage, in fact, that you could not repair with a simple spell. The only true, lasting damage was to Ron's pride and dignity, which is surely punishment enough!" Harry slipped into the calm, logical voice recommended by Dudley's book. He stated his points, then paused for Snape's argument.

The professor was silent. He simply looked from Harry, to Ron, to the book lying on the floor, all with a sneer. "Debate? You have improved from previous years, but I fear that it will never be your strength. I will punish as I see fit, as is my right as a Hogwarts professor. You would do well to remember my position-"

Ron and Hermione watched with horror as Harry smoothly interrupted, un-phased by Snape's insults. "You didn't answer me- afraid that I might get the better of you?"

There was the slightest glint of humor in Snape's eyes that only Hermione seemed to catch. "You seek to get the better of me? It might be harder than you think- but it would be amusing to watch. Very well. We shall debate, at a set time, a set topic. There will be equal preparation time for both of us. If you are judged the winner, then I will retract all punishments and return all house-points. Should I win, however, you and your red-haired friend will serve two months detention, with one-hundred points off, each." Seeing Harry's startled look, he added, "For impertinence to a teacher. Happy now?"

The three looked at him, shocked. This was scary; very, very, scary.

"That sounds like a splendid idea. We shall need to start planning at once- unless you have any objections, Harry?" Considering how the day had been going, Dumbledore's startling appearance out of the woodwork didn't seem that shocking.

"Um... no, I guess... I think..." Harry looked to Hermione and Ron for support; they, unfortunately, were as uncertain as he. He decided to go for it, hoping that his housemates wouldn't be too disappointed when they lost the house cup. "We'll do it. We'll do it."

Snape snorted, but straightened his face back into the usual sneer at Dumbledore's glare. "I certainly have no issues with it, Headmaster, seeing as it was my idea."

"Splendid! If this goes well, we must consider making a tournament an annual event! Professor, Harry, if you would be so good as to follow me, we can firm up the rules and topic?"

"Of course, Headmaster," Harry said slowly, looking back at his two friends as he followed Dumbledore and Snape. What a wonderful afternoon this shall be...

A/N: Okay, I hoped you liked this latest installment- and I need your help. I have no idea what the debate topic could be! Something sort of funny, but still serious enough- if you know what I mean. Anyways, please help.

Wolfs Bane: I'll think about it, I just kind of have the story planned out, plus I don't really know what you mean...

VyingQuill: The diet thing was one of my favorite lines. It seemed very Ronnish.

And, of course, my dear friend EvilFireWitch.

Thank you all! Comments and criticism are greatly appreciated.