Disclaimer: These are not my characters. Harry Potter and the world in which he lives are the property of J. K. Rowling and Warner Bros., and I do not intend infringement upon their rights as such in any manner. The plot and the Hogwarts lounge are mine.

A/N: Here it is... another chapter of what is becoming a rather longer story than I had ever imagined myself writing. Funnier, too. To me, anyway. And I hope to you, too.

Severus Snape glared at his mirror. He wished with all his heart--which admittedly wasn't all that hard-- that it would glare back.

It didn't.

Albus Dumbledore's sense of humor was remarkable in it's aptitude for finding the right place to hit and hit hard- he knew exactly what would get the greatest rise out of a person, and thus provide him the greatest enjoyment.

Like the mirror.

It talked, it reflected, and most of all, is was an extreme extrovert.

Being placed in Severus Snape's room was torture.

"Come on, sunshine, lets see a smile! You know you want to, yes you do! I can see it in your sparkling eyes.... Come on, everybody, let's dance! Kick off your shoes, get into some nice floral prints..."

Glass would have shattered if Dumbledore hadn't been so very well prepared for such an attack - the number and strength of shatterproof charms on the mirror were enough to stop even Snape, and goodness knows he put some power into it.

"Hey! Watch my finish - I'll have you know that I'm an original product of the Potiri Corporation, and you should treat me with a bit more respect! I can talk! I can tell a joke! I can color-coordinate!"

Snape glared, growled, and stalked off to go terrorize someone who would cry.

"So sad..." the mirror muttered. "I wonder what made him turn out so evil... and such a fashion ignorant... Black is so out."

Surprisingly enough, someone was at that very minute contemplating what made the dastardly Professor Snape be so dastardly.

"I never would have thought..." Albus Dumbledore muttered to himself. "I never would have thought... I hope we can find a cure...."

* * * * *

Both Ron and Hermione sprang around, squinting in an attempt to see what their friends had spotted. They were unsuccessful.

"Ginny, are you feeling all right? I mean, I imagine seeing the tattoo was a bit of a shock, and it might just be a side-effect of that; because we certainly don't see anything, do we, Ron? I mean, there's just that lemon banner that Dumbledore put up when he was Head of Gryffindor."

"Hermione..." Ginny muttered softly, "Look at the lemon banner."

"It's... It's... alive!" Harry sputtered.

"Come on, Harry, what're you on? There's nothing th-"

"No, Ron, wait... Look..."

He turned at Hermione's words, looking into the previously empty space.

Before you harshly judge Ron, poor man, please remember that some say those who have fainted once are more susceptible for awhile. And he's rather low on sleep, and... well, it could be that, or he could just be an intolerable wussy. Choose to believe whatever you wish.

"Oh, bloody, bloody, bloody, blood... Harry, help me get him on the couch, will you?"

As he facilitated Hermione in gently setting Ron on the couch, Harry appeared to be thinking very hard. "Hermione, did Ron happen to faint when he saw the tattoo?"

"Yes... why does that matter?" she asked, somewhat suspiciously.

"Why, then, he's been made more susceptible to spurts of fainting for little or no reason! That, and he's been low on sleep recently, and... well, you know." Harry trailed off, still triumphant because Ron was obviously not a coward.

"I think he's just an intolerable wussy," Ginny said, but, as this was the exact moment that the lemon drop chose to speak, Harry had no chance to respond.

"Excuse me... I see that you're having a terribly important discussion, but, snob as I am, I think that this could be more important."

They all stopped talking and looked up at the giant candy - except for Ron, or course.

"Dumbledore requires your presence, Miss Granger, and requests that of your friends, as well... I believe you can leave him here," he added, nodding in the way only lemon drops can nod at the prone figure of Ron, on the red and gold couch.

Hermione looked over at him and sighed. "I guess it would be better if we leave Ron here, he just hasn't been up to the kind of shocks which Dumbledore is likely to provide. Poor apple-honey bear," she murmured, kissing his forehead.

Ginny looked away in disgust, instead asking the lemon drop, "So. Where are we supposed to go?"

"Follow me," he said, seeming to laugh without physically changing at all. He left abruptly through the portrait door, conveniently lying open.

* * * * *

Dumbledore was sitting quietly in his private study - an offshoot of his office which few were lucky enough to see - when he heard the unmistakable voice of Lemon.

"Yes, well, Dumbledore couldn't have beat Gridlewald without my help - I've been there through it all, since the very day that the great man himself was born on a mountain in the Alps... Oh, those were the days..."

Hermione, Harry and Ginny were looking skeptically at the giant floating lemon when Dumbledore's merry voice boomed into his office.

"And every word of it's true... those were the days, weren't they..."

The trio turned their skeptical gazes on Dumbledore, suddenly realized that they were questioning the great Headmaster, and adjusted so that they appeared respectful yet unconvinced.

Dumbledore, of course, noticed this and got back to business. "I fear that I will need you to turn your attention away from the debate, and towards a more serious problem." He ignored their now outraged looks, and continued, "I believe all of you have seen Sir Cadogan's tattoo? Yes? Then you may have guessed what I have come to believe."

Hermione Granger looked intently at him, eyebrows raised.

"Miss Granger, you obviously have some idea. I will expand upon it. Please, sit down?" He gestured at three empty chairs, setting himself behind the desk. The lemon contented himself with floating gently above Dumbledore's head.

"Let us begin."

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long; regular life is eating up my time... I'll try to have the next chapter out much sooner.

Thanks go out to my reviewers! Vingoldust, Harry Potter, and EvilFireWitch.

Peace to all!