Disclaimer: I do not own anyone of these characters, if I did I would force
them to do sum heavy work. If u sue me the only thing you'll get is my can
collection. I will destroy my computer before the verdict is said.
Chapter 1: Discovering my wife
*
- Honey where's my agenda? Don't find it anywhere. - Too hot to wear a sweater, too cold to stay in shirt. Hate these days.
- Try in the left upper drawer of my closet. Sometimes I mistake it with my own and tidy it away.
Stupid bitch even don't know how to tidy our room. And the best part of it is that you can't know what I'm thinking 'cause I got one of those ... neuro... synaptic Shi'ar things so yoooooooou caaaaaan´t reeeeeead myyyyyyyy miiiiiiiind (infinite pleasure).
I still remember when I found that thing in Hank's lab and asked what it was. Talking to that blue furball was disgustin' but it was worth it. I was tired of everytime I saw a woman in a sexual way, had to repress that image, for not getting caught. So I stole it and implanted it on the back of my head. Didn't needed for an instruction manual. Then you came, after you realized our link was broken. "Oh Scotty I can't feel you anymore, I can't feel your mind, oh my gosh our love is condemned ( extremely high- pitched voice)" . And I said to you in my Marlon Brando voice: " We've just to keep on living, one day at a time, one day at a time..."
- Why are you smiling? - Asked me Jean.
- Oh nothing. - If you only knew...
She leaves the room, and closes the door.
I open the drawer and start looking for the agenda. There is too many paper sheets in it, but something drags my attention to it. It's a letter to Jean and I can smell some cheap perfume. What is it?
"Jean I miss you so much. Everytime I see ya I can't control myself. We must meet more times.." Shoot! Is that bitch cheatin' on me?? ".. so we can satisfy our carnal needs. But not now, 'cause the mansion's full of people, they'll notice us that's for sure. Like.. 22nd March lot of people have to go out. That leaves us almost alone. 3 o'clock in the evening meet me at my room. Be there. Ps: I'm so eager that day arrives..."
My eyes open wide and I try not to fire an optic blast.
What the ?? "CARNAL NEEDS"?!? No signature, and can't even recognize the handwriting 'cause it's not handmade. We got a serious problem down here. That.. psychic slut who's supposed to be my wife is stabbing my back.
I sit down on sofa thinking about it. Never thought that she could do something like this to me. No, not Jean. Not after we went to the future against my will to raise Nathan, 'cause "Marvel" girl was worried about him, wondering if we was going to eat all the vegetables.
Oh but they're messing around with the wrong guy here. Oh yeah. They don't know what I'm capable of. That's it. I'm gonna give that son of a bitch a one way ticket to meet Mr. Devil himself. He is soooooooo dead, whoever he is. And trust me it's a matter of time I find out. 22nd March? We're at February, I'm not gonna wait. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
I hear Jean outside, talking to somebody and I step closer to the window and divert the curtains. Jean's talking to the short-hairy guy. Logan. Always Logan. That guy's gonna pay!
Everything makes sense now. Jean keeps talkin about him all the time, plus Logan always liked her. I never liked that midget. Ever since he arrived we have to use oxygen masks 'cause when he starts to sweat nobody can come any closer to him. Mean, we won sinister that way, but poor Storm went in coma for several weeks after doing the laundry of his clothes. Slowly I crouch, stretch the hand under my closet and bring a small box to the light. Yes, I have my secrets as well... Inside the box there is a low-calibre gun with a few silver bullets shining. Thought of doing it with my powers but decided to do it in the old fashioned way. I put some bullets in the cannon and hide it at the back of my pants.
I go downstairs and keep watching them as they tallk. She seems laughin' and stuff. As they separate I follow Wolvie to bathroom. He's so gonna pay. I open the door and is sittin in the toilet reading sum Hustler magazines. The smell is unbearable. He stares at me and I yell at him.
- I know what's happening between you and Jeannie. You're history man, no one bangs my wife and gets away with it.
- Whoa whoa calm down slim what're u talkin' 'bout? - WHAT?? Did this guy called me slim?? He's about to become a dead man.
- I mean I know you're doing my wife and I intend to make you pay!
He puts the magazines down and starts to speak.
- Kay pal, I'll be honest to ya. It only happened once man, but I swear she came to me, I didn't make a move... I.
- WHAT??? - I take the gun out of my pocket and point it to that sex- maniac.
- But Scott it was so long ago, mean two or three years ago... And it happened only twice, mean once...
- SHUT UP!! YOU BASTARD...
- Hey what's happening there?? - I hear a voice outside. It's that icy bitch again.
BLAM!
Oh shoot!! I accindently pulled the trigger and... Darn Betsy's comin'. I leave the bathroom and close the door a second before she arrives and sees me.
- What's going on?
- It's Logan his having... hmm... Diarrhea. You know him.. He's an animal he must've eaten too much of junk food dis week.
- Are you sure? It looked like someone fired a gun. - Asks Psylocke heading towards me.
- No, no, it's just Wolvie with a bad stomachache. Oh and don't come any closer, the air here stinks, really does.
She looks at me shocked and stops. She's damn hot today.
- Oh my gawd I'm out'a here. That's gross. I've already heard about the Storm thing. I don't wanna die in the gas chamber. I'm out. - And she runs like she saw her worst nightmare. I can't help laughing.
A week later nothing's changed. Jean's never on the mood, everytime I try something she says she's got a headache. And she's always with dat stupid smile on her face No, I guess it wasn't Wolverine. But who else? Initially I thought everyone at the mansion was monogamous but I clearly dat's not the case. Who could it be besides Logan?
The answer comes as I see him. 'Course so stupid! Gambit! I was wrong about Logan. This guy is the true sex-maniac. Who else? Somebody told me a man can colonize the entire planet if he's able, well Remy LeBeau must have be one of the few who truly are. Revenge is coming soon pal, you'll get what you're asking for.
Chapter 1: Discovering my wife
*
- Honey where's my agenda? Don't find it anywhere. - Too hot to wear a sweater, too cold to stay in shirt. Hate these days.
- Try in the left upper drawer of my closet. Sometimes I mistake it with my own and tidy it away.
Stupid bitch even don't know how to tidy our room. And the best part of it is that you can't know what I'm thinking 'cause I got one of those ... neuro... synaptic Shi'ar things so yoooooooou caaaaaan´t reeeeeead myyyyyyyy miiiiiiiind (infinite pleasure).
I still remember when I found that thing in Hank's lab and asked what it was. Talking to that blue furball was disgustin' but it was worth it. I was tired of everytime I saw a woman in a sexual way, had to repress that image, for not getting caught. So I stole it and implanted it on the back of my head. Didn't needed for an instruction manual. Then you came, after you realized our link was broken. "Oh Scotty I can't feel you anymore, I can't feel your mind, oh my gosh our love is condemned ( extremely high- pitched voice)" . And I said to you in my Marlon Brando voice: " We've just to keep on living, one day at a time, one day at a time..."
- Why are you smiling? - Asked me Jean.
- Oh nothing. - If you only knew...
She leaves the room, and closes the door.
I open the drawer and start looking for the agenda. There is too many paper sheets in it, but something drags my attention to it. It's a letter to Jean and I can smell some cheap perfume. What is it?
"Jean I miss you so much. Everytime I see ya I can't control myself. We must meet more times.." Shoot! Is that bitch cheatin' on me?? ".. so we can satisfy our carnal needs. But not now, 'cause the mansion's full of people, they'll notice us that's for sure. Like.. 22nd March lot of people have to go out. That leaves us almost alone. 3 o'clock in the evening meet me at my room. Be there. Ps: I'm so eager that day arrives..."
My eyes open wide and I try not to fire an optic blast.
What the ?? "CARNAL NEEDS"?!? No signature, and can't even recognize the handwriting 'cause it's not handmade. We got a serious problem down here. That.. psychic slut who's supposed to be my wife is stabbing my back.
I sit down on sofa thinking about it. Never thought that she could do something like this to me. No, not Jean. Not after we went to the future against my will to raise Nathan, 'cause "Marvel" girl was worried about him, wondering if we was going to eat all the vegetables.
Oh but they're messing around with the wrong guy here. Oh yeah. They don't know what I'm capable of. That's it. I'm gonna give that son of a bitch a one way ticket to meet Mr. Devil himself. He is soooooooo dead, whoever he is. And trust me it's a matter of time I find out. 22nd March? We're at February, I'm not gonna wait. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
I hear Jean outside, talking to somebody and I step closer to the window and divert the curtains. Jean's talking to the short-hairy guy. Logan. Always Logan. That guy's gonna pay!
Everything makes sense now. Jean keeps talkin about him all the time, plus Logan always liked her. I never liked that midget. Ever since he arrived we have to use oxygen masks 'cause when he starts to sweat nobody can come any closer to him. Mean, we won sinister that way, but poor Storm went in coma for several weeks after doing the laundry of his clothes. Slowly I crouch, stretch the hand under my closet and bring a small box to the light. Yes, I have my secrets as well... Inside the box there is a low-calibre gun with a few silver bullets shining. Thought of doing it with my powers but decided to do it in the old fashioned way. I put some bullets in the cannon and hide it at the back of my pants.
I go downstairs and keep watching them as they tallk. She seems laughin' and stuff. As they separate I follow Wolvie to bathroom. He's so gonna pay. I open the door and is sittin in the toilet reading sum Hustler magazines. The smell is unbearable. He stares at me and I yell at him.
- I know what's happening between you and Jeannie. You're history man, no one bangs my wife and gets away with it.
- Whoa whoa calm down slim what're u talkin' 'bout? - WHAT?? Did this guy called me slim?? He's about to become a dead man.
- I mean I know you're doing my wife and I intend to make you pay!
He puts the magazines down and starts to speak.
- Kay pal, I'll be honest to ya. It only happened once man, but I swear she came to me, I didn't make a move... I.
- WHAT??? - I take the gun out of my pocket and point it to that sex- maniac.
- But Scott it was so long ago, mean two or three years ago... And it happened only twice, mean once...
- SHUT UP!! YOU BASTARD...
- Hey what's happening there?? - I hear a voice outside. It's that icy bitch again.
BLAM!
Oh shoot!! I accindently pulled the trigger and... Darn Betsy's comin'. I leave the bathroom and close the door a second before she arrives and sees me.
- What's going on?
- It's Logan his having... hmm... Diarrhea. You know him.. He's an animal he must've eaten too much of junk food dis week.
- Are you sure? It looked like someone fired a gun. - Asks Psylocke heading towards me.
- No, no, it's just Wolvie with a bad stomachache. Oh and don't come any closer, the air here stinks, really does.
She looks at me shocked and stops. She's damn hot today.
- Oh my gawd I'm out'a here. That's gross. I've already heard about the Storm thing. I don't wanna die in the gas chamber. I'm out. - And she runs like she saw her worst nightmare. I can't help laughing.
A week later nothing's changed. Jean's never on the mood, everytime I try something she says she's got a headache. And she's always with dat stupid smile on her face No, I guess it wasn't Wolverine. But who else? Initially I thought everyone at the mansion was monogamous but I clearly dat's not the case. Who could it be besides Logan?
The answer comes as I see him. 'Course so stupid! Gambit! I was wrong about Logan. This guy is the true sex-maniac. Who else? Somebody told me a man can colonize the entire planet if he's able, well Remy LeBeau must have be one of the few who truly are. Revenge is coming soon pal, you'll get what you're asking for.