A/N: Well, now that I come back to my purely FICTIONAL, completely NONSENSICAL, and entirely NOT IN ANYWAY TO DO WITH NESS EXCEPT THAT I WANTED TO PUT IT UNDER SUPER SMASH BROTHERS fan fiction, to be quite honest in the time elapsed I've forgotten the original flow of the rest of the story. Well, I'll figure something out.
----------------------------------------When we last left our hero….
"Mom! Where are your pants?" screeched Ness.
Mrs. Ness looked shocked.
"Oh, my. To be quite honest I hadn't yet noticed that I wasn-''
Once again, I heard just enough of the giant zipper to recognize the noise before hitting the pavement. I awoke shortly after to see Ness and his mom laying, dazed, next to me on the ground. Now, last time I found myself in this situation, I spent 4 nights in jail and ended up paying 3 different women child support for the same kid until I went on Maury to prove that it wasn't mine, and it turned out my carpet cleaner's pet sitter's plumber's 2nd grade teacher who was the real father. Slut. Any who, the point is that it scared the crap out of me.
"What the hell is going on?!" I cried as Ness winked at me.
"Well I'm sure I don't know, dear. I do believe you should put some pants on, though." Mrs. Ness replied"
Pants.. that was it. Every time we thought too thoroughly about pants, we went unconscious. Aha! I would just think IN CODE! Yeah, I could do that.
I wonder why it is that no one is wearing … hats anymore these days. It does seem to me that it's strange that everyone is going bare le- - headed, come to think of it I haven't seen a single… hat in days. Where could they all have gone? My bott- - head sure is cold all bare and what have you. It did seem that my.. hats were all growing quite a bit of facial hair.. I thought it was just the WhipIts… Seems like they were all growing Hitler mustaches for some reason.. but no, that's just weird.
"HEY! Dude, wake up. Where are your pants?" called Ness.
"Hats. You mean hats" I nonchalantly replied.
"But.. why would I .. wait a minute.."
"Am I wearing a hat?"
"No."
"Then why aren't you asking me about that?"
"Well that hardly seems uncommon."
"Well there are plenty of people who don't wear pants. I've joined a nudist colony, if you must know."
"But you're still wearing clothes, just not pants"
"What, you expected me to quit cold turkey? I'm recovering, not a magician!!!"
"Um, are we still talking about pants?"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, what appeared to be a flock of glowing department store legging-display legs whizzed past our head, followed by a troop of argyle socks, complete with little machine guns in argyle-patterned cozies. My thoughts had been confirmed: each one donned a tiny Hilteresque mustache.
"You don't see that every day." Ness quipped.
"I can deal with that." I replied dazedly.
----------------------------------------When we last left our hero….
"Mom! Where are your pants?" screeched Ness.
Mrs. Ness looked shocked.
"Oh, my. To be quite honest I hadn't yet noticed that I wasn-''
Once again, I heard just enough of the giant zipper to recognize the noise before hitting the pavement. I awoke shortly after to see Ness and his mom laying, dazed, next to me on the ground. Now, last time I found myself in this situation, I spent 4 nights in jail and ended up paying 3 different women child support for the same kid until I went on Maury to prove that it wasn't mine, and it turned out my carpet cleaner's pet sitter's plumber's 2nd grade teacher who was the real father. Slut. Any who, the point is that it scared the crap out of me.
"What the hell is going on?!" I cried as Ness winked at me.
"Well I'm sure I don't know, dear. I do believe you should put some pants on, though." Mrs. Ness replied"
Pants.. that was it. Every time we thought too thoroughly about pants, we went unconscious. Aha! I would just think IN CODE! Yeah, I could do that.
I wonder why it is that no one is wearing … hats anymore these days. It does seem to me that it's strange that everyone is going bare le- - headed, come to think of it I haven't seen a single… hat in days. Where could they all have gone? My bott- - head sure is cold all bare and what have you. It did seem that my.. hats were all growing quite a bit of facial hair.. I thought it was just the WhipIts… Seems like they were all growing Hitler mustaches for some reason.. but no, that's just weird.
"HEY! Dude, wake up. Where are your pants?" called Ness.
"Hats. You mean hats" I nonchalantly replied.
"But.. why would I .. wait a minute.."
"Am I wearing a hat?"
"No."
"Then why aren't you asking me about that?"
"Well that hardly seems uncommon."
"Well there are plenty of people who don't wear pants. I've joined a nudist colony, if you must know."
"But you're still wearing clothes, just not pants"
"What, you expected me to quit cold turkey? I'm recovering, not a magician!!!"
"Um, are we still talking about pants?"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, what appeared to be a flock of glowing department store legging-display legs whizzed past our head, followed by a troop of argyle socks, complete with little machine guns in argyle-patterned cozies. My thoughts had been confirmed: each one donned a tiny Hilteresque mustache.
"You don't see that every day." Ness quipped.
"I can deal with that." I replied dazedly.