Chapter 2 *MAGAZINE*
________________________________________________________________
THE WORLD'S SEXIEST PEOPLE
YOUR VOTES
In a recent poll this magazine asked you to name the sexiest people in the world today. In this issue of 2000+ magazine we bring you these surprising results.
Although at 20% your husband / partner / boyfriend rated highly, surprisingly the prize to the sexiest men in the world today go to the members of the International Rescue organisation. Surprising because so few of our correspondents have met or even seen photos of these men.
As we all know International Rescue works under a strict veil of secrecy, which means that they never give interviews and never allow photos to be taken.
So then why did 25% of our correspondents rank these men so highly. We asked a professional psychologist.
"For those who have actually been rescued by the International Rescue organisation, it is a natural response. Frequently people who work in other rescue organisations receive affection from the people who they have helped. This doesn't explain why a large number of people who have only heard of International Rescue through the media should feel the same way. I believe that the reason for this is that many women harbour a secret desire to be rescued by a knight on a charging white stallion... a fairy tale hero who is strong, silent and mysterious, and International Rescue is seen as the modern incarnation of this."
________________________________________________________________________
Tin-Tin chuckled to herself. She had brought this magazine because it contained an article on the renewal of the Malaysian rainforest, and had only started reading this article out of idle curiosity. A movement in the doorway caught her eye, she looked up and the chuckle turned into a laugh.
Standing there were four of the sexiest men in the world.
Virgil Tracy had a smear of oil across his face, from above his right eyebrow, across his nose, to just below his left ear. His blue overalls had hand-prints of oil streaked down them.
Scott's front was covered with a thick layer of rescue orange coloured paint so that only the occasional spot of blue overall was visible.
Alan's blond hair was streaked with black oil. The hair that wasn't plastered to his head, was standing up on end, which gave him the air of a demented parrot.
Gordon, at first, looked relatively clean, but when he turned Tin-Tin saw that the seat of his overalls and the back of his legs were also covered in bright orange paint.
All four were hot, tired, dirty - filthy even, but sexy was not a word that Tin-Tin would have chosen to describe them at this precise moment.
She was just going to ask what they were up to when a shriek behind her made her stop!
Grandma Tracy was standing there with a look of fury on her face.
"Get out" she cried "What do you think you're doing, coming in here and getting the carpet dirty."
Virgil tried to calm her down. "We've taken our shoes off..."
"That may well be," Grandma snapped " but your clothes are dripping oil and paint and goodness knows what else!"
"But Grandma," Scott protested "we just came in for a drink of lemonade."
"You know better than to come through the house in that state." Grandma admonished him. "Get out, all of you and we'll bring down some lemonade in a minute. And don't touch the paint work" she bellowed at Alan who had backed into the door jamb.
Tin-Tin brought them the lemonade on a tray and the Tracy boys stood by the pool and gratefully accepted the drinks.
"So..." Tin-Tin eyed them up thoughtfully. "Just what have you been doing to get into that mess."
Scott took a mouthful of lemonade. "It's his fault..." he nodded in Alan's direction. "We were giving The Mole an overhaul..."
"Why is it always my fault?" Alan broke in angrily "I was doing my job, same as you were. I was touching up the paint work on The Mole..."
Scott interrupted "And dropped his paint brush behind The Mole's caterpillar tracks..."
"So I had to climb under The Mole to get my brush..."
"And leave the tin of paint sitting on the edge of the track..."
"It wasn't my fault that Virgil had a container of oil under The Mole!"
Virgil had managed to smear the oil from his eyebrow down the right side of his face. "You knew I was draining the oil for recycling" he said. "I didn't expect you to stick your head in it, and I don't appreciate being used as an oil cloth."
Gordon picked up the story. "Alan was making such a fuss that we decided to move The Mole so he could get his brush. I got in the cab to move it forward, but of course Alan had forgotten about the tin of paint on the track..."
"And I was standing beside giving directions..." Said Scott.
"Ah" said Tin-Tin as realisation dawned.
"I heard Scott yell," said Gordon, "and I thought I'd run over his foot or something. So I stopped The Mole and jumped out of the cab. I didn't know about the paint and my feet slipped out from under me." He rubbed his behind tenderly. "I shan't be sitting down for a while."
Tin-Tin laughed. "I wish I'd been there to see it. It sounds like a real comedy of errors." She looked at the magazine she was still carrying. "Maybe this will cheer you up." She started reading them the article and four of the sexiest men in the world turned varying shades of pink.
Virgil looked at the state of his overalls. "If they could see us now, they'd soon change their minds." he said ruefully.
"Here's a bit I didn't read before" Tin-Tin exclaimed. "Votes for the worlds sexiest women were more predictable with 'My wife / partner / girlfriend' getting 30%. There was, however one male voter who plugged for 'the sexy female member of International Rescue who saved me..." She pursed her lips together. "Maybe I should go on more rescues?"
Her only reply was a snort from Alan.
Scott put down his glass. "Well we had better clean up the mess before Dad sees it." He said. He looked at Tin-Tin "Perhaps you would care to help..."
Tin-Tin took a step back and raised her hands in protest. "No way. I'm only having a break while your father and Brains go over the latest test results. I have work to do too, you know." She hesitated. "Still I would like to see what The Mole looks like at the moment... I guess I can give you a few minutes help."
The Mole's bay looked like a bomb had hit it. Parts of The Mole had been dismantled for routine maintenance, and were lying about the place. A tacky pool of orange paint lay congealing on the floor, except where Gordons' trousers had wiped it up. The Moles caterpillar tracks were splattered in orange paint and a trail of oil stretched out behind it. A network of oily and painted footprints wandered throughout the carnage.
Tin-Tin pulled up short. "If your father sees this he'll..."
"Kill you?" a voice behind her asked. Jeff Tracy stood there fuming. "Brains and I've just been through the test results of the new fire extinguisher and it isn't performing as well as we'd hoped. So I thought 'at least the mechanical side of things is running smoothly, I'll just pop down and see how things are going' and what do I see? Mayhem!"
The four Tracy boys stood about looking sheepish. Tin-Tin slipped quietly out the door and went back to her work in the lab.
Brains was looking nearly as testy as Jeff had been. "I-I don't understand it" he muttered. "All my calculations are correct. The extinguisher should be working to plan."
Tin-Tin walked up behind him. "So now what do we do, Brains?" she asked "Start again?"
Brains turned to her. "N-no" he stammered. "We will conduct the tests again and compare results. W-we should be able to reach some helpful conclusions then."
Tin-Tin sighed and opened a thick volume of notes. "Experiment One" she read out "Method: Take 400ml of 5SFJ..."
Teresa and Mitch were becoming more and more frantic. "Where can she be?" Teresa exclaimed "We've searched everywhere. I can't even find Everest!"
"Calm down love," Mitch fought back his own mounting panic. "Maybe she's walked to a friends place. You ring up everyone you can think of and I'll cruise around the neighbourhood in the car. She's probably just hiding someplace."
Teresa grabbed his arm. "You don't suppose she heard us arguing do you? You know how sensitive she is."
Mitch clapped his hand to his head. "Oh, no," he moaned "she probably thought we were going to kill each other. Oh Teresa, I'm sorry, it's my fault."
It was Teresa's turn to calm him. "Now we don't know that that's the reason, she may have just decided to go for a walk and got lost. I'll starting ringing round and you go look for her."
Mitch left for the car a cold knot in his stomach. This morning he'd been moaning that things couldn't get any worse.
How wrong he'd been.
Cassie had clambered through the hedge at the bottom of their garden dragging Everest behind her. The garden backed on to a walkway and she followed it downhill. She'd read about fairy lanes that lead to kind people who helped others in need. Perhaps she could find a good fairy who could make her Mummy and Daddy happy again.
What she found was a grubby industrial estate. A collection of old wooden warehouses, some in use, others derelict. Surely fairy land wasn't like this. Some stories told of towns of trolls that stood between human land and fairy land. Cassie didn't want to meet a troll so she started running through the complex, hiding whenever she heard voices.
She wished she could find a good fairy. Or a pixie even. She had seen pictures of pixies with silver and blue clothes and funny shaped hats. They looked different to humans but were kind and helpful. "Would you like to meet a pixie?" she asked Everest. Everest gazed back at her with his mute button eyes. She gave him a hug. "Don't be frightened, I'm sure a pixie will find us soon." The familiar feel of his fur reassured her and she continued on her journey.
Blake stood in the shadows, a wisp of smoking rising from his illicit cigarette. He was joined by one of his work mates, Edwards.
"If the boss finds you you'll be for the chop." Edwards warned him. "You know it's illegal to smoke in the work place."
Blake looked at him through narrowed eyes. "What do I care about the law." He muttered. "I care even less about the boss. I'd tell him what to do with his stinking job first."
There was a movement around the corner of the building "Blake, Edwards, where are you. If you don't get your butts back here this minute you'll be out."
Blake flicked the remainder of his cigarette behind some barrels "Oh, well" he drawled as he sauntered out from his hiding place. "I'd nearly finished it anyway..."
________________________________________________________________
THE WORLD'S SEXIEST PEOPLE
YOUR VOTES
In a recent poll this magazine asked you to name the sexiest people in the world today. In this issue of 2000+ magazine we bring you these surprising results.
Although at 20% your husband / partner / boyfriend rated highly, surprisingly the prize to the sexiest men in the world today go to the members of the International Rescue organisation. Surprising because so few of our correspondents have met or even seen photos of these men.
As we all know International Rescue works under a strict veil of secrecy, which means that they never give interviews and never allow photos to be taken.
So then why did 25% of our correspondents rank these men so highly. We asked a professional psychologist.
"For those who have actually been rescued by the International Rescue organisation, it is a natural response. Frequently people who work in other rescue organisations receive affection from the people who they have helped. This doesn't explain why a large number of people who have only heard of International Rescue through the media should feel the same way. I believe that the reason for this is that many women harbour a secret desire to be rescued by a knight on a charging white stallion... a fairy tale hero who is strong, silent and mysterious, and International Rescue is seen as the modern incarnation of this."
________________________________________________________________________
Tin-Tin chuckled to herself. She had brought this magazine because it contained an article on the renewal of the Malaysian rainforest, and had only started reading this article out of idle curiosity. A movement in the doorway caught her eye, she looked up and the chuckle turned into a laugh.
Standing there were four of the sexiest men in the world.
Virgil Tracy had a smear of oil across his face, from above his right eyebrow, across his nose, to just below his left ear. His blue overalls had hand-prints of oil streaked down them.
Scott's front was covered with a thick layer of rescue orange coloured paint so that only the occasional spot of blue overall was visible.
Alan's blond hair was streaked with black oil. The hair that wasn't plastered to his head, was standing up on end, which gave him the air of a demented parrot.
Gordon, at first, looked relatively clean, but when he turned Tin-Tin saw that the seat of his overalls and the back of his legs were also covered in bright orange paint.
All four were hot, tired, dirty - filthy even, but sexy was not a word that Tin-Tin would have chosen to describe them at this precise moment.
She was just going to ask what they were up to when a shriek behind her made her stop!
Grandma Tracy was standing there with a look of fury on her face.
"Get out" she cried "What do you think you're doing, coming in here and getting the carpet dirty."
Virgil tried to calm her down. "We've taken our shoes off..."
"That may well be," Grandma snapped " but your clothes are dripping oil and paint and goodness knows what else!"
"But Grandma," Scott protested "we just came in for a drink of lemonade."
"You know better than to come through the house in that state." Grandma admonished him. "Get out, all of you and we'll bring down some lemonade in a minute. And don't touch the paint work" she bellowed at Alan who had backed into the door jamb.
Tin-Tin brought them the lemonade on a tray and the Tracy boys stood by the pool and gratefully accepted the drinks.
"So..." Tin-Tin eyed them up thoughtfully. "Just what have you been doing to get into that mess."
Scott took a mouthful of lemonade. "It's his fault..." he nodded in Alan's direction. "We were giving The Mole an overhaul..."
"Why is it always my fault?" Alan broke in angrily "I was doing my job, same as you were. I was touching up the paint work on The Mole..."
Scott interrupted "And dropped his paint brush behind The Mole's caterpillar tracks..."
"So I had to climb under The Mole to get my brush..."
"And leave the tin of paint sitting on the edge of the track..."
"It wasn't my fault that Virgil had a container of oil under The Mole!"
Virgil had managed to smear the oil from his eyebrow down the right side of his face. "You knew I was draining the oil for recycling" he said. "I didn't expect you to stick your head in it, and I don't appreciate being used as an oil cloth."
Gordon picked up the story. "Alan was making such a fuss that we decided to move The Mole so he could get his brush. I got in the cab to move it forward, but of course Alan had forgotten about the tin of paint on the track..."
"And I was standing beside giving directions..." Said Scott.
"Ah" said Tin-Tin as realisation dawned.
"I heard Scott yell," said Gordon, "and I thought I'd run over his foot or something. So I stopped The Mole and jumped out of the cab. I didn't know about the paint and my feet slipped out from under me." He rubbed his behind tenderly. "I shan't be sitting down for a while."
Tin-Tin laughed. "I wish I'd been there to see it. It sounds like a real comedy of errors." She looked at the magazine she was still carrying. "Maybe this will cheer you up." She started reading them the article and four of the sexiest men in the world turned varying shades of pink.
Virgil looked at the state of his overalls. "If they could see us now, they'd soon change their minds." he said ruefully.
"Here's a bit I didn't read before" Tin-Tin exclaimed. "Votes for the worlds sexiest women were more predictable with 'My wife / partner / girlfriend' getting 30%. There was, however one male voter who plugged for 'the sexy female member of International Rescue who saved me..." She pursed her lips together. "Maybe I should go on more rescues?"
Her only reply was a snort from Alan.
Scott put down his glass. "Well we had better clean up the mess before Dad sees it." He said. He looked at Tin-Tin "Perhaps you would care to help..."
Tin-Tin took a step back and raised her hands in protest. "No way. I'm only having a break while your father and Brains go over the latest test results. I have work to do too, you know." She hesitated. "Still I would like to see what The Mole looks like at the moment... I guess I can give you a few minutes help."
The Mole's bay looked like a bomb had hit it. Parts of The Mole had been dismantled for routine maintenance, and were lying about the place. A tacky pool of orange paint lay congealing on the floor, except where Gordons' trousers had wiped it up. The Moles caterpillar tracks were splattered in orange paint and a trail of oil stretched out behind it. A network of oily and painted footprints wandered throughout the carnage.
Tin-Tin pulled up short. "If your father sees this he'll..."
"Kill you?" a voice behind her asked. Jeff Tracy stood there fuming. "Brains and I've just been through the test results of the new fire extinguisher and it isn't performing as well as we'd hoped. So I thought 'at least the mechanical side of things is running smoothly, I'll just pop down and see how things are going' and what do I see? Mayhem!"
The four Tracy boys stood about looking sheepish. Tin-Tin slipped quietly out the door and went back to her work in the lab.
Brains was looking nearly as testy as Jeff had been. "I-I don't understand it" he muttered. "All my calculations are correct. The extinguisher should be working to plan."
Tin-Tin walked up behind him. "So now what do we do, Brains?" she asked "Start again?"
Brains turned to her. "N-no" he stammered. "We will conduct the tests again and compare results. W-we should be able to reach some helpful conclusions then."
Tin-Tin sighed and opened a thick volume of notes. "Experiment One" she read out "Method: Take 400ml of 5SFJ..."
Teresa and Mitch were becoming more and more frantic. "Where can she be?" Teresa exclaimed "We've searched everywhere. I can't even find Everest!"
"Calm down love," Mitch fought back his own mounting panic. "Maybe she's walked to a friends place. You ring up everyone you can think of and I'll cruise around the neighbourhood in the car. She's probably just hiding someplace."
Teresa grabbed his arm. "You don't suppose she heard us arguing do you? You know how sensitive she is."
Mitch clapped his hand to his head. "Oh, no," he moaned "she probably thought we were going to kill each other. Oh Teresa, I'm sorry, it's my fault."
It was Teresa's turn to calm him. "Now we don't know that that's the reason, she may have just decided to go for a walk and got lost. I'll starting ringing round and you go look for her."
Mitch left for the car a cold knot in his stomach. This morning he'd been moaning that things couldn't get any worse.
How wrong he'd been.
Cassie had clambered through the hedge at the bottom of their garden dragging Everest behind her. The garden backed on to a walkway and she followed it downhill. She'd read about fairy lanes that lead to kind people who helped others in need. Perhaps she could find a good fairy who could make her Mummy and Daddy happy again.
What she found was a grubby industrial estate. A collection of old wooden warehouses, some in use, others derelict. Surely fairy land wasn't like this. Some stories told of towns of trolls that stood between human land and fairy land. Cassie didn't want to meet a troll so she started running through the complex, hiding whenever she heard voices.
She wished she could find a good fairy. Or a pixie even. She had seen pictures of pixies with silver and blue clothes and funny shaped hats. They looked different to humans but were kind and helpful. "Would you like to meet a pixie?" she asked Everest. Everest gazed back at her with his mute button eyes. She gave him a hug. "Don't be frightened, I'm sure a pixie will find us soon." The familiar feel of his fur reassured her and she continued on her journey.
Blake stood in the shadows, a wisp of smoking rising from his illicit cigarette. He was joined by one of his work mates, Edwards.
"If the boss finds you you'll be for the chop." Edwards warned him. "You know it's illegal to smoke in the work place."
Blake looked at him through narrowed eyes. "What do I care about the law." He muttered. "I care even less about the boss. I'd tell him what to do with his stinking job first."
There was a movement around the corner of the building "Blake, Edwards, where are you. If you don't get your butts back here this minute you'll be out."
Blake flicked the remainder of his cigarette behind some barrels "Oh, well" he drawled as he sauntered out from his hiding place. "I'd nearly finished it anyway..."