Unraveled
Chapter Fourteen: Distractions
Thalia lay awake in the middle of the night with Sirius' arms wrapped around her. She felt cold, despite the heat from Sirius' body. He was sleeping soundly. She shifted to get free from his grasp. He came home late that night. He was so tired that he didn't bother to put on his pajamas. He was just sleeping in his boxers.
As Thalia moved, she woke up her husband who opened his eyes and watched her. "Are you trying to get away from me?" he asked softly with a laugh.
"No, I'm sorry to wake you. I can't sleep. Go back to sleep," said Thalia without turning her head.
"What's wrong?" asked Sirius.
"Nothing," answered Thalia without looking at him. His blue eyes filled with concern.
"Are you sick?" he asked.
"No, just go back to sleep," she replied with some annoyance.
"Look, I'm sorry I came home late tonight. Things at the Ministry are getting rougher these days with Voldemort out there," said Sirius. He felt her body shudder at the mention of Voldemort's name. She rarely did that. "There's nothing to worry about, Thalia."
"You have no idea what he's capable of," whispered Thalia as a tear slipped down her cheek. Sirius turned her around gently. His eyes were sad because of the tears in hers. He gently wiped them away with his thumb. Thalia's eyes were filled with unspoken terrors. He couldn't understand why. Or he didn't know why.
"Tell me what's wrong?" demanded Sirius. "Let me help you."
"No," whispered Thalia. "I can't. You can't"
Sirius frowned. He was too tired to argue with her. "Fine. Don't tell me anything," he said gruffly. Thalia leaned her head against his chest, causing Sirius to immediately feel bad for being so annoyed with her.
"I will tell you. I promise when the time is right. I will tell you," promised Thalia as she looked up at him and kissed him. Sirius closed his eyes and went back to sleep, not knowing that the truth would come sooner than anyone expected.
Sirius woke up in his bed in the guest room of the house. He remembered that conversation after he was thrown into Azkaban. He thought it was strange that Thalia would be so upset. He thought about his daughter sleeping in the next room. Were her dreams plagued with the same things as her mother's?
Without getting up, Sirius looked out the window at the sky outside. The moonlight outside reminded Sirius that Remus had to undergo his transformation that night. Sirius thought back to the carefree days at Hogwarts. The days where he and James ruled the school.
Sirius used to go out with different girls each week or each day, if it a was good week. James was disgusted by most of the girls who were only interested in James for his money and Quidditch skills. Sirius smiled at the thought of Lily Evans. She wasn't interested in that. She was working hard to be Head Girl and nearly collapsed when James got to be Head Boy. Sirius saw the chemistry between James Potter and Lily Evans early on. So, did Remus. Remus was a quiet guy, even in school. He wasn't interested in all the trouble that James and Sirius were causing.
Remus and Lily used to tell James and Sirius that neither should procreate because the world wouldn't be able to handle their children. James scoffed at the idea and said that his child would be exceptional and that he or she would better behaved because James knew all the tricks before they were played. Sirius also scoffed, but swore he wouldn't have children. They were annoying little devils that needed constant attention.
When did things change? They changed when James decided he wanted to marry Lily. Sirius thought it was not only a good idea, but a natural one. For Sirius, marriage and children were always a good idea for everyone else, but him. However, James marrying Lily made him think about it. He wasn't really for it. Until he met Thalia Renard.
She was working in a Muggle bookstore in London that served coffee. Sirius was on a job in London and wanted to go into someplace to avoid the rain that was coming down that day. He saw her working at the counter, but reading at the same time. She gave him a smile when he came in.
Sirius thought that she was a Muggle girl, so he wasn't thinking of even trying to flirt with her because he didn't know that much about Muggles at the time. He went to the bookshelves and pretended to be searching for books, while sneaking peeks at Thalia as she helped customers. He wasn't paying that much attention and ended up knocking over a whole book shelf. Thalia helped him put the books back on the shelf, and told him that his boots were great. She smiled with a dimple on her cheek and walked back behind the counter.
Suddenly, Sirius wanted to learn more and more about Muggles. James had thought he lost his mind. Lily was more than happy to help him and told him that he should have taken Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. James said that Lily shouldn't be helping Sirius fool a girl into thinking that he was a Muggle. And eventually, they found out it was all for nothing, as Thalia was a witch.
Sirius smiled at the memory. He always felt rather ungainly around Thalia who was so graceful at everything. He even got her accidentally fired from her job at the Muggle bookstore. Sirius was asking her to marry him right after that, but she was so angry and annoyed with him that she told him to leave her alone. Perhaps, she got mad at him because he told her she didn't need a job when she could just have him take care of her. James told Sirius to do what she asked because she would turn him into the Ministry for stalking her.
Eventually, Thalia got so worn down by Sirius' persistence that she agreed to at least going out with him. Soon enough, she admitted that she loved him and finally agreed to marry him on the grounds that she was allowed to have her independence. Sirius sighed at that memory.
He looked towards the wall that was adjacent to his daughter's room. Once again he was faced with a female that made him feel ungainly. Fiona was so much like her mother that she made Sirius miss her even more. If Thalia were alive, things would be much easier for him. Fiona so was close, but so far at the same time. "What do I have to do to get through to her?" asked Sirius out loud.
*
Most children would be excited at the prospect of leaving school, but Fiona wasn't most children. At least in school, she could pretend she was normal and get away with it. Worst yet, she had to spend more time with the man who called himself her father. He was always watching her. It was driving her nuts. Most parents didn't just sit there and watch their children do ordinary things.
Most parents are around their children long enough not to have to watch them like he does, said a voice in Fiona's head. She shifted in bed. Tomorrow was her last day at a normal, non-Magical school. All she had to do was get through tomorrow without causing any accidents. She had to be on her best behavior and stop bothering Mr. Grant because Nell told her to do so. As for Sirius, he probably thought it was funny. She wasn't sure. Fiona didn't know that much about her father.
That's because you're not trying, said the same voice. Oddly enough, it sounded like her mother. Fiona shifted in her bed. At least everyone else could sleep in the house, she thought.
After a while, Fiona fell asleep, but she had the strangest dream. She dreamt that she was walking in a castle. The walls looked like they were made out of cut stone and layered on top of each other like bricks. Fiona could feel a cold rush in the air in a strange place. She saw a man walking along. He was tall, but had a cloak that covered his face.
Fiona's eyes opened just before her alarm clock went off. Where was she? The man she saw in her dream looked like the Emperor from Star Wars. She shook her head. She had seen too many movies. Fiona stretched to get out of bed and walked to her drawers. She picked up her clothes and made her way to the bathroom.
Sirius and Nell were already downstairs having coffee before breakfast when they heard her stirring upstairs. "Well, I knew it would come to this eventually," said Nell solemnly.
"It's better this way. At least we can protect her more effectively," said Sirius.
"Do you think she's all right?" asked Nell.
"No, I don't think so. Her mother used to have nightmares at night. I never knew why. She wouldn't tell me," said Sirius.
"Yes, Thalia said that. Her father took her from her mother just after she was born. No one knows what became of Thalia's mother," said Nell.
Sirius said nothing to that. He knew that if he hadn't been sent to Azkaban that he wouldn't take Fiona away from Thalia. No, he would have stayed with them. He would have protected them. How did Voldemort find them? How did he know where they were? Was he really after Fiona? The recent news of Voldemort was scarce. It was quiet. Too quiet.
"I hope that she can control herself today," said Nell worriedly.
"Don't worry. Her magic should be easier to control now that she's more aware of it," reassured Sirius.
"That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about that biology teacher," said Nell.
Sirius waved his hand and dismissed Nell's concerns. "It's the last day. They're bound just to get along and get it over with. Mr. Grant should be grateful that she's leaving," he said. He thought back to the last day of school at Hogwarts. He and James still pranked Snape. Just one more for the road. Sirius was hoping Fiona was more mature than that.
"I'm ready," announced Fiona as she came downstairs wearing her school uniform. She helped herself to some toast and some orange juice. Nell wouldn't allow her to drink coffee on the grounds that she was wired enough.
She sat across from Sirius. It was either that or sit next to him. That would be too close for comfort. Sirius was watching her as she ate. Her hair was pinned back with a clip half up and half down. A lock of her hair slipped out and she pulled it back behind her ear. Thalia wrote in her diary, "She's like a doll. A perfect little doll."
"Let's see. You get out at three, but I have to talk to the people at the office. Then we have to make out a schedule with Master Ran to see what lessons you have to work on. Then we'll go out for dinner," said Nell.
"Where?" asked Fiona. She took a gulp of orange juice.
"Hmm…how about the restaurant in Chinatown that you like so much?" asked Nell. "I'll invite my parents along. And you can come, too. It's all Muggles. Too crowded for any wizards to come and there are private rooms for parties. We'll just get one."
Sirius looked surprised. Fiona's dimples were showing. That was the closest to a smile Sirius had seen since Fiona found out about him. She was cute with her dimples showing. She had two, instead of just one like Thalia did. Where did the other dimple come from? Sirius thought about it and realized that his brother had two dimples. Alexander. Alexander the Great. That was the way Sirius always thought of his older brother. He was great. Sirius spent most of his childhood trying to measure up. Sirius thought that Alexander would have made a better father than he did.
"Sirius, come on. Don't give up," said a voice in Sirius' head that sounded just like Alexander. He looked away from Fiona at that moment. His brother was the person he wanted to be like. There was no way he could be like him. Sirius could only be himself. Alex always told him to be himself. It was more than good enough.
"I have to go to school now. I can't be late on my last day. I have to explain to the music teacher, Mr. Carlton, that I'm leaving the school," explained Fiona.
"Who's Mr. Carlton?" asked Sirius.
"He's the music teacher. He's also the one who lets me play the grand piano at school. I have the key to the music room because of him. He's not really my teacher. I don't take any music classes at the school, but he's cool," replied Fiona.
"All right. I'll drop you off earlier, so you can return the key to Mr. Carlton," said Nell as she stood up and added, "Sirius, you have to come, too. We'll wait at Master Ran's."
Sirius nodded and went to get the ladies' coats. He came back with them and placed Fiona's coat on her shoulders. He handed Nell her coat. He would have opened the door for them, but he changed into a dog.
When they got outside, he stayed next to Fiona as she walked towards the car. He looked around to make sure that she was safe. Nell opened the car locks with the remote control in her key chain. Sirius thought it was like magic at first, but Nell had explained how it worked. It still sounded like magic anyway. Fiona opened the back car door to let Sirius in first, then let herself in.
Sirius was never comfortable with leaving Fiona at the Muggle school. He talked about it with Nell, but she said that it was as safe as any place. Sirius worried not just for her safety, after all she had powers to defend herself with, but for the safety of the Muggles. They had no way of defending themselves from Voldemort's attacks or any attack from a Death Eater. After Nell told the office that it was Fiona's last day, she left with Sirius to go to Master Ran's place. Fiona made her way to the music room. Unfortunately, Sirius had to wait in the car because dogs weren't allowed into the school, except for seeing eye dogs.
"I know that you're worried. I'm worried, too," said Nell quietly.
Sirius looked at her from behind. "Look, do you want to make her any more unhappy than she already is?" added Nell.
Sirius growled. Of course, he didn't want to do that. He loved her. He loved her unconditionally. Not just because she was all that was left of Thalia, but in her survived a part of him that died in Azkaban. That's why he was so protective of her. She was the last thing he had that was tied to his past with his family and wife.
"I won't pretend that I completely understand what you're going through," said Nell quietly. "I've only lost Thalia. She was my best friend. She was my sister.
"You lost your wife, best friends, and most of your family. I can sympathize, but I won't completely understand. And I hope I never have to, but Fin understands. Fin feels people's pain, Snuffles. She's always been like that. She used to cry because she could feel that her mother was sad. 'Mommy's sad, but she won't cry. I'll cry for her,' she used to say that. She used to know when I was sad and would just come to me and give me a hug. This happened when I didn't even realized that I was sad. But when the pain happens to her directly, it's all she feels. She tries to ignore it, instead of facing it. It hurts her more. She buries it and it builds up in her. It can destroy her."
Sirius' attention was absolutely focused. That's why Fiona was being nicer than she should have been to him. She was burying all the hurt in her and sparing his feelings, so that she wouldn't have to feel it. It sounded like something Thalia would do.
"Don't get me wrong, Snuffles. When something annoys her enough, she'll explode, but for the more serious feelings…no. She doesn't cry, but she needs to. She needs to feel the pain. It's the only way she's going to heal. It's the only way, both of you are going to heal."
*
Fiona walked to the music room and sat down to play the piano. She didn't bother to go look for Mr. Carlton. She just wanted a few moments alone with the piano. She started playing a sad piece that she had heard. Well, it sounded sad.
After a few moments, she realized that the bell had rung. Mr. Carlton came in. "Why, hello, Fiona," he said to her with a smile.
"Hello, Mr. Carlton. I've come to return the key," said Fiona as her voice started shaking.
"What? Did you finally get a piano of your own?" asked Mr. Carlton happily.
"No, I'm moving away soon," said Fiona.
"What? But you just started at this school?" asked Mr. Carlton, now seeing Fiona's distress.
"My f-father came. H-he wants me go to another school," stammered Fiona. That was true. Sirius wanted her to go to Hogwarts. He didn't need to say it. She could tell.
"Are you sure that's all?" asked Mr. Carlton with concern.
Fiona choked back a sob. Why was she on the verge of tears now? She couldn't cry. Her mother was brave. She couldn't cry. "I have to go. Thank you, Mr. Carlton." She said as she placed the key on the piano next to the empty note stand and grabbed her book bag.
She clutched the book bag to her chest and ran out of the room. She ran as fast as she could. Not to class, but to the exit. She kept on running.
Mr. Carlton shook his head with concern as he tried to follow her. She was too fast. Instead, he turned toward the office.
"Was today, Fiona Black's last day?" he asked.
"Yes, her godmother said that they would be moving shortly," explained the secretary in surprise.
"Her godmother? Fiona said that it was her father who wanted her to move schools," Mr. Carlton attempted to correct the secretary.
"No, Dr. Lawson didn't mention Fiona's father," said the secretary with a shake of her head.
"She just ran out of the school," reported Mr. Carlton with a sigh.
"Oh my, I have to call Dr. Lawson's cell," said the secretary in alarm as she reached for the phone and brought up Fiona's file on the computer to find Dr. Lawson's cell phone number.
"I hope she's all right. She was terribly upset," said Mr. Carlton worriedly.
Fiona had no idea where she was running. She didn't' care. She just wanted to get away from everything. She finally came to the empty park because all the other kids were at school. She sat on the swing and went back and forth on it for a while before stopping.
She wasn't going to cry. She remembered that she had to be brave. She had asked her mother a very important question.
"Mommy?" asked a five-year-old Fiona.
"Yes?" asked Thalia.
"Why is my name Fiona Lily Black?" she asked.
"Fiona is a pretty name. It means white or fair. It's a name that comes from Ireland and Great Britain. Black is your father's name. And Lily, comes from the name of a very special friend of mine," said Thalia with a smile.
"Who?" asked Fiona.
"My friend Lily. You see, I was supposed to give Nell's name as your middle name, but when I first saw you, I know that I had to give you a special name. Lily was the bravest person I have ever known. And you're a brave little girl, too," said Thalia.
"Yes, Mommy. I am," agreed Fiona.
"My name is Fiona Lily Black," whispered Fiona to remind herself of what she really was. Halloween was coming soon. Fiona remembered that every Halloween, Nell would take her out trick- or-treating. She had no idea that it was a really important holiday for wizards and witches. Nell always took her out because her mother would ask to be left alone during the evenings.
Thalia would be normal during the day of Halloween, but at night after she bid her daughter and friend good night to go off trick-or-treating, she would not be seen again until morning. Fiona realized early on that Thalia took it as a day of utmost importance, but she didn't understand why.
She didn't bother to read her mother's diary, even though her father gave it to her to read. If she had, then she would have known that was the anniversary of the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Her mother lost two of her closest friends that night. On that same night, Thalia lost Sirius as well.
Fiona stopped swinging the swing. There was a hawk sitting on the tree branch watching her. Fiona felt despair flooding and consuming her. Her felt oddly dry. Why couldn't she cry? There were several close calls, but the tears never came. Fiona felt empty inside. The only thing that filled her was her despair. The hawk could feel it.
Her hand wrapped around the crystal. It was warm against her touch. She closed her eyes for a moment, waiting for anything. Or nothing at all.
Nell and Sirius arrived at Ryu Ran's place only to find Draco by himself. "Sensei went out," said Draco calmly. He was supposed to finish a very important Defense Against the Dark Arts essay for him, but he was gone.
"I suppose we'll just wait," said Nell calmly.
Sirius settled into one of the chairs in the room. Suddenly, Draco and Sirius were surprised by the sound of Nell's cell phone going off. She was also startled because she didn't think her phone would work inside Ryu's flat.
"Hello?" asked Nell.
"This is Augustine Academy. I'm the school secretary, Mrs. Marshall. Your goddaughter left school grounds today without permission and cut class," said Mrs. Marshall.
"What?" asked Nell, her voice getting higher.
"What happened?" asked Sirius.
"What happened?" asked Nell to Mrs. Marshall.
Mrs. Marshall explained what had happened and what Mr. Carlton saw. Nell's brow furrowed at the news. "Thank you, Mrs. Marshall. I'll go and get her myself. I think I know where she went," said Nell. She closed the cell phone.
"What happened?" repeated Sirius.
"Fiona ran off from school. They don't know where she went. She's out there somewhere," said Nell, unable to hide the panic in her voice. She started to dial Fiona's cell phone, hoping that she would answer. After getting her voicemail, Nell shoved the phone back into her handbag. "She's not answering."
"Let's go and look for her," said Sirius who was already standing up.
"I'll come," volunteered Draco. He couldn't finish his essay anyway.
"I don't know where she could have gone. I don't leave her alone. I always make sure I know where she is," said Nell frantically.
"Calm down," ordered Sirius. He turned back into a dog. His heart was racing. They ran for Nell's car and piled inside to go and look for Fiona.
"If she just left the school on foot, she couldn't have gotten very far," observed Draco.
*
Harry's behavior was getting progressively stranger as the days passed. Ron and Hermione noticed that he was going to bed at an earlier time each night. Both assumed at first that he was tired from all the Quidditch practice. They spent their time urging Harry to go see Madame Pomfrey and get a look over. Harry refused and wanted no more questions asked.
Harry's reason for going to bed early every night was to see the girl. The dreams showed different things to him. Last night, he saw her playing the piano and humming softly. Sometimes, when he closed his eyes he could hear her soft humming. On top of all the things he saw, Harry still hadn't seen her face.
The worst part for Harry was the fearing of knowing that the girl didn't really exist. That didn't stop Harry from liking her. She felt like she was part of him. He wasn't ready to give up anything about her, even if she wasn't real. She was real enough for him.
A new announcement came at Potions that day, Professor Snape was going away indefinitely. Harry knew immediately that he was called by Voldemort to aid in the search of Fiona Black. The rest of the Slytherins weren't too happy with the idea of their head of house going way. Everyone else seemed relieved.
"I wonder who they got to substitute," said Ron thoughtfully.
"I hope it's someone good," Hermione whispered worriedly.
"The substitute will arrived from France tomorrow. Unfortunately, due to my sudden absence, the Headmaster had no choice, but to bring in an inexperienced teacher whose subject isn't even Potions," Professor Snape informed them.
There were mumblings through out the room. Most of the students were hopeful that the substitute would be much easier on them than Professor Snape. Hermione didn't like the idea at all. "We can't have an incompetent teacher. We've got O.W.L.s this year," commented Hermione out loud.
"Yes, Miss Granger, but that can't be helped. There are more important things," snapped Professor Snape. He was in a fouler mood because he was returning to Voldemort. Luckily, Professor Dumbledore never told him where Fiona was. Even if he tried, Professor Snape would have stopped him.
Hermione turned bright red. Ron glared at Professor Snape who turned and went to the board to write some notes. Harry wasn't concentrating again. He wasn't thinking of Professor Snape leaving or about the new teacher coming in with such short notice. He was thinking of her again.
"Mr. Potter!" bellowed Professor Snape as he hovered in front of him.
"Harry," whispered Hermione urgently as she poked his arm.
Harry's eyes focused on Professor Snape whose face was twisted in fury. "Mr. Potter, how long does it take to brew Polyjuice Potion?" he asked in a cold voice.
"Um… about a month," answered Harry, searching his brain. He knew the answer because during his second year, Hermione, Ron and he had brewed the complex potion.
"Correct," sneered Professor Snape. "However, Gryffindor will lose five points due to your lack of attention, Mr. Potter."
Harry clutched his jaw and jotted down the notes on the board. The class ended with them writing more notes down and brewing a simpler Polyjuice Potion. Hermione and Ron were shooting worried glances again at Harry.
"What's wrong, Harry?" asked Ron.
"What do you mean?" responded Harry annoyingly.
"You're not concentrating in class. You're even getting distracted in Professor Lupin's class," pointed out Hermione.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Ron.
"Nothing. Nothing important. Leave me alone," responded Harry angrily as he stalked off ahead of them, leaving them stunned.
An even bigger surprise was waiting for the students at Defense Against the Dark Arts. As usual, they were expecting Professor Lupin to be out a few days each month during the full moon. Hermione soon realized something else, "Wait…if Professor Snape is leaving, then who's going to cover Defense Against the Dark Arts, when Professor Lupin goes out?"
"I don't know," replied Ron as he looked at the back of Harry's head. He wasn't talking to them. He didn't bother to turn around or say anything.
Everyone sat down as Professor Lupin came in. He was already waiting for the full moon tonight. However, he made it a point to show up as much as possible. "Hello everyone," he greeted them.
"Good Afternoon, Professor Lupin," said the class in unison.
He surveyed the room and smiled calmly. "As you all know, Professor Snape will be leaving for an indefinite period of time. In order to compensate for his absence, two other teachers have been arranged to substitute for this class and Potions."
"Why two?" asked Dean Thomas out loud.
"The other substitute for Potions is new and inexperience. Professor Dumbledore didn't think it would be good to overload her because she must prepare you for the upcoming O.W.Ls," Professor Lupin informed them.
"Who are these people?" asked Seamus Finnegan.
"The sub for Potions is a woman?" commented Lavender Brown.
"Yes, so is the substitute for this class, but she's also here at Professor Dumbledore's request," Professor Lupin. "Now, why don't we start today's lesson?"
They weren't too happy that he wasn't going to answer any more questions, but they didn't bother to comment on it. Harry looked distracted again. Hermione reached over to poke him, but Ron prevented her with his hand.
"Well, that's all for today," concluded Professor Lupin as he dismissed everyone. "Wait, a minute, Harry," he added.
Harry stopped in his tracks and turned around. "We'll catch up with you later," whispered Ron as he and Hermione walked passed him.
"You didn't seem like you were listening today," said Professor Lupin.
"I'm sorry," admitted Harry sheepishly.
"Why?" asked Professor Lupin.
"Nothing. I'm sorry," repeated Harry.
"I was just thinking about the way you looked. Your father had that look on his face before," said Professor Lupin thoughtfully.
Harry focused on Professor Lupin, "What do you mean?" He was feeling like he was exposed, like Professor Lupin could read his thoughts.
"Your father looked distracted like that, but he was always looking in a certain redhead's direction. You seem to be staring into space," he replied as he picked up his old, dilapidated suitcase. "Go on, Harry."
Harry backed out of the room, swearing to himself to make sure that he only dreamt of her at night. Professor Lupin shook his head and smiled after Harry left the room. "Just like his father," he whispered.
AN: Is Harry getting a little obsessed? Perhaps. There's a cliffhanger here that will be dealt with in the next chapter. Harry's starting to get more and more distracted. Harry's falling hard for a girl he's never met. Is that possible? It's not like anyone will be able to figure out the girl he likes. Of course, the readers know…
Anyone care to guess who the substitute teachers are? They're both mentioned prior in the series because I didn't want to come up with new characters and I thought it would be fun to bring them in.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all the characters from the books belong to J.K. Rowling. Fiona Black belongs to me. And any other characters not present in the books.