Yay! Next chapter! Once again, based on the extremely funny Cassandra
Claire's VSD (http://diaries.diagon.org/)
Disclaimer: No, still don't own LotR, CC's VSD, or even Cartoon Network's 'Pinky and the Brain'. You gotta love that show. ^_^.
A/N: For those deprived individuals who haven't read LotR, Elladan+Elrohir are Elrond's twin sons, and the unsung heroes of the whole story. Or at least they should be. This diary flicks between Elladan and Elrohir's diary entries.
~*~ The Very Secret Diary of Elladan and Elrohir ~*~
**Day 11,037**
E-dan: Is v. embarrassing having Elrond as a father. Have left Rivendell to get away from Cross-dressing, disco-dancing, party-holding and strawberry smelling maniac.
E-hir: You forgot purple-loving. And you think I'm the forgetful one!
E-dan: You are the forgetful one! Remember the time you forgot to tell Arwen that her boyfriend was a pervy-hobbit fancier?
E-hir: That was intentional. It'll be more fun this way. Hey, we're getting off topic. So, we left Rivendell… now, a few hours later, am very bored. Decided to go to Lothlorien.
**Day 11,040**
E-dan: Came to fork in the road. One sign said 'Lothlorien' and the other said 'Mordor'. Elrohir insisted that it was a trick to keep us out of Lorien, and that we should follow the 'Mordor' sign. Despite my argument that Galadriel wasn't smart enough to think of something like that, I followed him down the 'Mordor' road anyway. I don't know why I listen to him sometimes.
Encountered v. disturbing things on the way. Saw Orcs in pink tutus singing 'we're off to see the wizard' (v. scary) and the Mordor electricians trying to install a cable to Isengaurd. Oh, and Ringwraiths asked us which Jewelry store in Middle Earth sells tacky gold rings. Recommended random Hobbit. Are you pondering what I'm pondering Pinky?
E-hir: I think so Brain, but didn't the Gap of Rohan close down?
E-dan: _ Am getting sneaky suspicion that Sauron has come out again. Bummer.
**Day 11,042**
E-hir: Thanks to my genius thinking, we have discovered the dark lord.
E-dan: Genius thinking? *coughohpleasecough*
E-hir: Ahem, yes, it was genius, because if I hadn't thought to follow the sign labeled 'Mordor', Middle Earth would be doomed.
E-dan: Right. Cause no one else would have noticed the wannabe pop star orcs.
E-hir: Excuse me brother 'dearest' but this is MY diary entry. So there. Anyway, as I was saying, I have decided it would be best to report this incident to the 'Sauron watchers club.'
E-dan: Yes I'm sure they'll be thrilled to discover that the ex-heartthrob dark lord is now a disembodied eye.
E-hir: Not that club. The club father and Gandalf started. I swear they have way too much time on their hands.
**Day 11,043**
E-dan: Received note from Haldir. Said 'twins. am in need of new dirt. send any inside info u have. much appreciated. haldir.' Replied saying 'father used to be in a band with glorfindel. use ur imagination. twins.' Ha ha just wait till Glorfindel finds out about this. It'll be all over Middle Earth in a few days. Glorfindel is very sensitive about his old band-days. Father won't care though. He'll probably use it as an excuse to throw a party. He'll call it- 'Elrond's embarrassing childhood has been revealed, come and get drunk Party'.
**Day 11,047**
E-hir: Are back in Rivendell. Have told father the news about Sauron and he promptly sent out invitations for a party. Apparently he has to get as much usage out of that disco ball before Sauron insists he returns it. I hope Legolas comes. He is after all the prettiest elf in Middle Earth.
Father has decided to call the party the 'council of Elrond.' What a big imagination he has.
**Day 11,050**
E-dan: All the important council-type-people have arrived. Thanks to Gandalf, the no.1 priority of the council/party/gossip/bitching session is now to discuss the fate of Middle Earth. (It was previously to see how many elves could fit onto a twister board.) Managed to secure spot at the grand meeting. Told father it was cause we have a personal interest, having discovered the Dark Lord ourselves. At least that was my reason. I think Elrohir just wants to perve on Aragorn. V.disturbing thought. Not only is he Arwen's ex, but also since he was raised with us he's kinda our brother. Am very concerned for my brother's well being. He obviously has issues. I myself am not attracted at all to the pervy hobbit fancier who is still not king-
E-hir: You are to! Don't tell me you haven't noticed the well-formed muscles, manly stubble, and, err, long sword.
E-dan: Hmm. Right.
**Day 11,051**
E-hir: You know, we actually need to make an appointment to get into the first floor bathroom! Can you believe it? An appointment to get into our own bathroom. I swear, council-people have taken over Rivendell! You can't go anywhere without bumping into one of them. Legolas nancing. Gimli flirting with Arwen. Merry in the vegetable garden. Pippin looking suspiciously like a garden gnome. Boromir hanging around the broken sword. (Someone should fix that. Is V.dangerous. Someone could lose an eye. Or finger.) Ring-bearer and Sam in the bathroom using all Father's precious bubble bath.
E-dan: Precious? They've been called that before! But not by you!
E-hir: Huh?
E-dan: Never mind.
**Day 11,052**
E-dan: Hinted to father that everyone should be sent away so we could have Rivendell back. Suggested that while they were at it, they could destroy that horribly tacky gold ring. He said he'd take it into consideration. First floor bathroom, here I come!
~Later (At council)~
E-hir: 'And you shall be- the Fellowship of the ring!' Oh dear god. Who does he think he is? Now we have to add 'over-dramatic speaker' to our list of 'reasons why Elrond is an embarrassing father'. Just need a few more reasons then it can be published. We already have a publishing deal with the Middle Earth bookshops. They have convinced us that this will be a top- selling book.
E-dan: I have a reason. He wears his daughter's tiara. Now I understand why Arwen wasn't allowed at the council. And I thought it was cause her prettiness would upstage Legolas. (Spoiled prince of Mirkwood has V. fragile ego. Is in constant need to hold innocent hobbits over valleys to convince himself that he is prettiest.)
Am worried about Aragorn's safety. He is getting way too attached to Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anything.
**Day 11,059**
E-hir: Yay! The newly formed 'fellowship of the ring' is leaving later on today. Will finally be able to walk around palace naked without receiving suggestive glances from Boromir. How many times do I have to tell him that the 'horn of Gondor' pick-up line doesn't work on elves as regal and prince- like as me?
E-dan: Though I will miss Gandalf's pointy hat trick. Glorfindel won't. I don't see why Gandalf scares him so much. Wimp. Oh, in other news, everyone in Rivendell and surrounding areas has heard that Father used to be in a boy band with Glorfindel, Thranduil, and Celeborn. Oh you should have seen the look on poor Glory's face…
**Day 11,062**
E-dan: *shudder* as suspected, Father isn't bothered by the boy band rumor at all and is in fact planning a party. Told him it really wouldn't be moral holding a celebration while the fellowship and Middle Earth are in such grave peril. Did he listen? No. Another thing to add to our list- 'Holds parties at extremely inappropriate times.'
E-hir: Cannot cope with humiliation any longer. Are going to Lothlorien. And this time I'll make sure Elladan leads us down the right path.
E-dan: Hey! It was your fault we headed to Mordor last time!
E-hir: Oh that's just an insignificant detail.
**Day 11,064**
E-hir: Met a Lorien messenger on the way there. He told us that Galadriel was considering an acting career and wanted someone to star opposite her in 'Titanic'. Ha ha Haldir you'll have to get better than that. Who's going to believe that rumor?
~Even Later~
E-hir: Discovered rumor was actually true. Scary.
A/N: So you guys think I should continue? Who should I do next? Glorfindel? Or what about Thranduil? Hmm or...I'm open to suggestions.
Disclaimer: No, still don't own LotR, CC's VSD, or even Cartoon Network's 'Pinky and the Brain'. You gotta love that show. ^_^.
A/N: For those deprived individuals who haven't read LotR, Elladan+Elrohir are Elrond's twin sons, and the unsung heroes of the whole story. Or at least they should be. This diary flicks between Elladan and Elrohir's diary entries.
~*~ The Very Secret Diary of Elladan and Elrohir ~*~
**Day 11,037**
E-dan: Is v. embarrassing having Elrond as a father. Have left Rivendell to get away from Cross-dressing, disco-dancing, party-holding and strawberry smelling maniac.
E-hir: You forgot purple-loving. And you think I'm the forgetful one!
E-dan: You are the forgetful one! Remember the time you forgot to tell Arwen that her boyfriend was a pervy-hobbit fancier?
E-hir: That was intentional. It'll be more fun this way. Hey, we're getting off topic. So, we left Rivendell… now, a few hours later, am very bored. Decided to go to Lothlorien.
**Day 11,040**
E-dan: Came to fork in the road. One sign said 'Lothlorien' and the other said 'Mordor'. Elrohir insisted that it was a trick to keep us out of Lorien, and that we should follow the 'Mordor' sign. Despite my argument that Galadriel wasn't smart enough to think of something like that, I followed him down the 'Mordor' road anyway. I don't know why I listen to him sometimes.
Encountered v. disturbing things on the way. Saw Orcs in pink tutus singing 'we're off to see the wizard' (v. scary) and the Mordor electricians trying to install a cable to Isengaurd. Oh, and Ringwraiths asked us which Jewelry store in Middle Earth sells tacky gold rings. Recommended random Hobbit. Are you pondering what I'm pondering Pinky?
E-hir: I think so Brain, but didn't the Gap of Rohan close down?
E-dan: _ Am getting sneaky suspicion that Sauron has come out again. Bummer.
**Day 11,042**
E-hir: Thanks to my genius thinking, we have discovered the dark lord.
E-dan: Genius thinking? *coughohpleasecough*
E-hir: Ahem, yes, it was genius, because if I hadn't thought to follow the sign labeled 'Mordor', Middle Earth would be doomed.
E-dan: Right. Cause no one else would have noticed the wannabe pop star orcs.
E-hir: Excuse me brother 'dearest' but this is MY diary entry. So there. Anyway, as I was saying, I have decided it would be best to report this incident to the 'Sauron watchers club.'
E-dan: Yes I'm sure they'll be thrilled to discover that the ex-heartthrob dark lord is now a disembodied eye.
E-hir: Not that club. The club father and Gandalf started. I swear they have way too much time on their hands.
**Day 11,043**
E-dan: Received note from Haldir. Said 'twins. am in need of new dirt. send any inside info u have. much appreciated. haldir.' Replied saying 'father used to be in a band with glorfindel. use ur imagination. twins.' Ha ha just wait till Glorfindel finds out about this. It'll be all over Middle Earth in a few days. Glorfindel is very sensitive about his old band-days. Father won't care though. He'll probably use it as an excuse to throw a party. He'll call it- 'Elrond's embarrassing childhood has been revealed, come and get drunk Party'.
**Day 11,047**
E-hir: Are back in Rivendell. Have told father the news about Sauron and he promptly sent out invitations for a party. Apparently he has to get as much usage out of that disco ball before Sauron insists he returns it. I hope Legolas comes. He is after all the prettiest elf in Middle Earth.
Father has decided to call the party the 'council of Elrond.' What a big imagination he has.
**Day 11,050**
E-dan: All the important council-type-people have arrived. Thanks to Gandalf, the no.1 priority of the council/party/gossip/bitching session is now to discuss the fate of Middle Earth. (It was previously to see how many elves could fit onto a twister board.) Managed to secure spot at the grand meeting. Told father it was cause we have a personal interest, having discovered the Dark Lord ourselves. At least that was my reason. I think Elrohir just wants to perve on Aragorn. V.disturbing thought. Not only is he Arwen's ex, but also since he was raised with us he's kinda our brother. Am very concerned for my brother's well being. He obviously has issues. I myself am not attracted at all to the pervy hobbit fancier who is still not king-
E-hir: You are to! Don't tell me you haven't noticed the well-formed muscles, manly stubble, and, err, long sword.
E-dan: Hmm. Right.
**Day 11,051**
E-hir: You know, we actually need to make an appointment to get into the first floor bathroom! Can you believe it? An appointment to get into our own bathroom. I swear, council-people have taken over Rivendell! You can't go anywhere without bumping into one of them. Legolas nancing. Gimli flirting with Arwen. Merry in the vegetable garden. Pippin looking suspiciously like a garden gnome. Boromir hanging around the broken sword. (Someone should fix that. Is V.dangerous. Someone could lose an eye. Or finger.) Ring-bearer and Sam in the bathroom using all Father's precious bubble bath.
E-dan: Precious? They've been called that before! But not by you!
E-hir: Huh?
E-dan: Never mind.
**Day 11,052**
E-dan: Hinted to father that everyone should be sent away so we could have Rivendell back. Suggested that while they were at it, they could destroy that horribly tacky gold ring. He said he'd take it into consideration. First floor bathroom, here I come!
~Later (At council)~
E-hir: 'And you shall be- the Fellowship of the ring!' Oh dear god. Who does he think he is? Now we have to add 'over-dramatic speaker' to our list of 'reasons why Elrond is an embarrassing father'. Just need a few more reasons then it can be published. We already have a publishing deal with the Middle Earth bookshops. They have convinced us that this will be a top- selling book.
E-dan: I have a reason. He wears his daughter's tiara. Now I understand why Arwen wasn't allowed at the council. And I thought it was cause her prettiness would upstage Legolas. (Spoiled prince of Mirkwood has V. fragile ego. Is in constant need to hold innocent hobbits over valleys to convince himself that he is prettiest.)
Am worried about Aragorn's safety. He is getting way too attached to Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anything.
**Day 11,059**
E-hir: Yay! The newly formed 'fellowship of the ring' is leaving later on today. Will finally be able to walk around palace naked without receiving suggestive glances from Boromir. How many times do I have to tell him that the 'horn of Gondor' pick-up line doesn't work on elves as regal and prince- like as me?
E-dan: Though I will miss Gandalf's pointy hat trick. Glorfindel won't. I don't see why Gandalf scares him so much. Wimp. Oh, in other news, everyone in Rivendell and surrounding areas has heard that Father used to be in a boy band with Glorfindel, Thranduil, and Celeborn. Oh you should have seen the look on poor Glory's face…
**Day 11,062**
E-dan: *shudder* as suspected, Father isn't bothered by the boy band rumor at all and is in fact planning a party. Told him it really wouldn't be moral holding a celebration while the fellowship and Middle Earth are in such grave peril. Did he listen? No. Another thing to add to our list- 'Holds parties at extremely inappropriate times.'
E-hir: Cannot cope with humiliation any longer. Are going to Lothlorien. And this time I'll make sure Elladan leads us down the right path.
E-dan: Hey! It was your fault we headed to Mordor last time!
E-hir: Oh that's just an insignificant detail.
**Day 11,064**
E-hir: Met a Lorien messenger on the way there. He told us that Galadriel was considering an acting career and wanted someone to star opposite her in 'Titanic'. Ha ha Haldir you'll have to get better than that. Who's going to believe that rumor?
~Even Later~
E-hir: Discovered rumor was actually true. Scary.
A/N: So you guys think I should continue? Who should I do next? Glorfindel? Or what about Thranduil? Hmm or...I'm open to suggestions.