Title, Uncertain Past
Author, Michelle Birkby
Email, saraandsamrule@hotmail.com
Rating, PG
Archive, Sam and jack, heliopolis please
Spoilers, 2010, Meridian, window of opportunity
Disclaimer, "All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author."
Summary, so, they've survived the end of 2010. what happens next
Status. complete
Author's notes. I wrote this ages ago, I can't think why I never posted it. But here it is.
'I think I'm dying." Sam Carter thought, as she struggled awake. She felt nothing, no aches, no pain, but a part of her mind was telling her she should be in agony. She was shot, for crying out loud, so why did nothing hurt? Obviously, it was because she was dying. And the unnatural whiteness of the sheet enveloping, the harsh sunlight pouring through the window, the white stiff curtain flapping in the breeze...none of this boded well for the future of Sam Carter's life.
'But why am I dying?' she thought. 'What happened?'. She pulled up memories from her mind, sifting through them until she found one that seemed recent.
Teal'c. Teal'c dialling the gate, dialling...where? Nowhere. It didn't matter. It wasn't the place, but the TIME that mattered. Teal'c was dialling the past to save the future.
Teal'c falling over the DHD. Bleeding. Dying.
JACK.
He'd looked so lost when she'd found him again. He tried to cover it up with harshness and callousness, but she'd seen it in his eyes. A lost, hurt, bewildered look, as if this wasn't the way his life was supposed to turn out.
And he was right. But he had made a life for himself, of sorts, maybe not one he wanted, but comfortable, peaceful, and she'd strolled into that, and demanded he give it up, leave his peace, his refuge, and come back to her life, not because she loved him, or needed him, but for a mission. No wonder he refused.
But he didn't. He followed her. He looked at her with that hidden, perplexed yearning in his eyes, and not once had he told her he loved her, because she was married, and Jack, a man of scrupulous honour, would never make a move on a married woman, but still his eyes had whispered it to her every time he glanced in her directions, and the only words she could say in return were not words of love, but orders and directions, cold, clinical, impartial.
He'd looked so different in the terminal. Everyone else in the cold Aschen grey, so purposeful, so business-like, so unsmiling. And Jack, slouching through, the only one in jeans, not a part of it all. She smiled at the memory.
Jack fell. She'd seen that, and she rushed down there, just holding on to the one thought, it had to succeed, her plan couldn't fail, too much was at stake, and she saw Daniel fall, so close, and then she had the note, and she fell too, the pain of the shots burning through her back.
Ah. So that was why she was dying. She'd been shot. And obviously her plan hadn't worked, because she was still here.
And judging by the pain that was returning to her arms and legs, she wasn't as close to dying as she thought. So if she wasn't dead, then neither was anyone else, and she could try again, and maybe...
She tried to get up, swinging he legs over the side of the bed, suppressing the groan of pain. For heaven's sake, she'd been shot and injured enough times in her life, she should be used to it by now.
"I've been a scientist too long" she said out loud, just to reassure herself her voice still worked. "I've forgotten how painful pain is." She laughed at her own joke, feeble thought it was. The laughter was proof she was alive, they were all alive, it was going to be ok...
"What are you doing up?"
Sam half expected to see Janet. Instead a tall, human (she presumed) doctor stood there. He was going grey at the temples, the rest of his hair was black, his eyes were grey, and oddly cool, and he asked the question doctor's always ask with a faintly uninterested tone, as if he didn't really care if she got up and fell down a black hole.
"Hello." She said, smiling, friendly.
"Get back into bed." Dr Petersen (it was on his lapel, neatly sewed in script) told her.
"Just tell me a few things first please."
"Your husband is outside, waiting." he told her. Her husband. For just a brief second she had to concentrate to remember who he meant. Then she remembered...Joe! She felt a quick stab of guilt for forgetting him, but it passed.
"The others...." She asked.
"The other members of your conspiracy? What the hell were you trying to do?" he asked, genuinely perplexed. She smiled.
"You wouldn't understand. Are they here?"
"Teal'c has been exiled back to Chulack. Daniel Jackson is here. He's under arrest, like you."
"And the Colonel...I mean, Jack O'Neill?" she asked, almost tripping over the unfamiliar feel of his name in her voice.
A sudden shadow crossed his face, the clinical coolness in his eyes replaced by human emotion for just a second.
"You really need to get back into bed." He insisted.
"I will." She told him, suddenly worried. A sudden cold knot of fear had formed in her gut....one she hadn't felt for a long time. Not since a corridor, in a ship, with the forcefield shimmering between them, and the Jaffa approaching, and he wouldn't leave, he was going to die....she pushed the unbidden memory away. "Just tell me, please, where is he?"
"I was told not to tell you. Your husband was very explicit on this point..." Dr Petersen said, reluctantly.
"I need to know." She said, her voice low and forceful. Something of her, of their past, must have come through in her voice, because Dr. Petersen's brow creased up in sympathy.
"I'm sorry." He said, and every word fell heavily into the room, like stones in a lake. "Colonel O'Neill was very badly injured. He died on the way to hospital."
Sam had never been the kind of woman who fainted. But reality had become too much for her. Her body crumpled inelegantly onto the floor, as her mind slipped into forgiving blackness.
She woke again, and again, day after day. And every day she remembered. He'd died. She'd killed him.
Every day, Dr. Petersen came to check on her. And every day, he frowned, looking down at her chart.
"Physically, your wounds are healing." He told her. "I don't understand why you're not getting better."
"I don't feel any better." She said. "I have a pain."
"Where?" he asked, placing his cool, competent hands on her abdomen, as if he could draw the pain out with his touch.
"In my stomach." She told him. "It's a kind of dragging, pulling pain."
"There's nothing wrong with you." He said gently.
"Then what's causing the pain?"
"Grief." He said, his face lined with an empathic sorrow.
"Oh." She said simply.
Day after day, she lay there, feeling the grief in her belly, letting the tears fall down her face. If it wasn't for her, he'd never have been there, struggling to complete a mission he hadn't chosen, hadn't planned, hadn't even wanted to be part of. What had she needed him for anyway? Why hadn't she left him, to his cabin in the woods, to the peace, and quiet? Why had she needed him?
"Why do you think you needed him?"
Sam looked up, around, surprised. Daniel sat there, on the chair by her bad. His arm was in a sling, and a massive bruise extended all down the left side of his face. He was smiling at her, but it was a gentle, sorrowful smile.
"You were talking aloud." He told her. "I didn't mean to intrude. I was worried about you."
"No...no, it's good to see you, Daniel. How long have I been lying here?"
"Couple of weeks. I should stay there as long as you can if possible. They're going to arrest us as soon as we're out of here. Joe's already been arrested."
"They arrested Joe? What for?"
"As an accessory. Don't worry, I think Kinsey's trying to get him out. I'm more worried about you."
"I'm fine." She said, propping herself up into a sitting position.
"No, you're not." He insisted. "I know you, Sam. I've lain there, in the next room, and heard you, muttering, all night, about Jack."
"It was my fault."
"No, it wasn't."
"If I hadn't asked him..."
"So why did you ask him?"
She thought, for a long while, trying to cast her mind back. She only knew, that when she decided to go back, to change her future, she'd known she needed him. She couldn't have done it without him.
"I needed him."
"Why?"
"To take command." She said slowly. "To be the soldier to my scientist. Take charge, make me think about what I'm doing. Take responsibility."
"Why couldn't you command?"
"I'm a scientist, not a soldier."
"You were a soldier."
"But not any more. Once the Aschen came, I was a scientist. I didn't need to be a soldier any more. I could just do my work. I didn't need to fight, or lead, or take any responsibility whatsoever."
"That's a shame. You could have made a good commander."
"No.."
"Jack always thought so."
She turned round and looked at him, surprised.
"He did talk to me, you know," Daniel said, smiling at her. "He told me that one day you would make a wonderful commanding officer. He had absolute faith in you."
She turned to look at him. The Colonel had thought that? She tried to remember what it was like, to make the life or death decisions in a white-hot, split-second moment, to have the lives of others, lives she cared for and nurtured, in her hands, sending her friends to possible death.
Thinking. Planning. Leading.
Winning.
"We're not staying here to be arrested." She said sharply. "We're leaving. I have a mission to carry out, and I'm going to do it one way or another." She told Daniel, her voice crisp, and sharp.
"Good." Daniel said, standing up. "That's what I hoped you say. And I may have a way out of here."
"What way?"
"Did you know that there's a resistance movement against the Aschen across the galaxy? Ours isn't the only planet they've tried to destroy. I met one of their representatives. He was disguised as a nurse, came and changed my bandages, and told me he could help."
"Does he have a way out of here?"
"No, but he's eager to help. Very eager, like a puppy dog. I'll send him to you. His name is Jonas."
Author, Michelle Birkby
Email, saraandsamrule@hotmail.com
Rating, PG
Archive, Sam and jack, heliopolis please
Spoilers, 2010, Meridian, window of opportunity
Disclaimer, "All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author."
Summary, so, they've survived the end of 2010. what happens next
Status. complete
Author's notes. I wrote this ages ago, I can't think why I never posted it. But here it is.
'I think I'm dying." Sam Carter thought, as she struggled awake. She felt nothing, no aches, no pain, but a part of her mind was telling her she should be in agony. She was shot, for crying out loud, so why did nothing hurt? Obviously, it was because she was dying. And the unnatural whiteness of the sheet enveloping, the harsh sunlight pouring through the window, the white stiff curtain flapping in the breeze...none of this boded well for the future of Sam Carter's life.
'But why am I dying?' she thought. 'What happened?'. She pulled up memories from her mind, sifting through them until she found one that seemed recent.
Teal'c. Teal'c dialling the gate, dialling...where? Nowhere. It didn't matter. It wasn't the place, but the TIME that mattered. Teal'c was dialling the past to save the future.
Teal'c falling over the DHD. Bleeding. Dying.
JACK.
He'd looked so lost when she'd found him again. He tried to cover it up with harshness and callousness, but she'd seen it in his eyes. A lost, hurt, bewildered look, as if this wasn't the way his life was supposed to turn out.
And he was right. But he had made a life for himself, of sorts, maybe not one he wanted, but comfortable, peaceful, and she'd strolled into that, and demanded he give it up, leave his peace, his refuge, and come back to her life, not because she loved him, or needed him, but for a mission. No wonder he refused.
But he didn't. He followed her. He looked at her with that hidden, perplexed yearning in his eyes, and not once had he told her he loved her, because she was married, and Jack, a man of scrupulous honour, would never make a move on a married woman, but still his eyes had whispered it to her every time he glanced in her directions, and the only words she could say in return were not words of love, but orders and directions, cold, clinical, impartial.
He'd looked so different in the terminal. Everyone else in the cold Aschen grey, so purposeful, so business-like, so unsmiling. And Jack, slouching through, the only one in jeans, not a part of it all. She smiled at the memory.
Jack fell. She'd seen that, and she rushed down there, just holding on to the one thought, it had to succeed, her plan couldn't fail, too much was at stake, and she saw Daniel fall, so close, and then she had the note, and she fell too, the pain of the shots burning through her back.
Ah. So that was why she was dying. She'd been shot. And obviously her plan hadn't worked, because she was still here.
And judging by the pain that was returning to her arms and legs, she wasn't as close to dying as she thought. So if she wasn't dead, then neither was anyone else, and she could try again, and maybe...
She tried to get up, swinging he legs over the side of the bed, suppressing the groan of pain. For heaven's sake, she'd been shot and injured enough times in her life, she should be used to it by now.
"I've been a scientist too long" she said out loud, just to reassure herself her voice still worked. "I've forgotten how painful pain is." She laughed at her own joke, feeble thought it was. The laughter was proof she was alive, they were all alive, it was going to be ok...
"What are you doing up?"
Sam half expected to see Janet. Instead a tall, human (she presumed) doctor stood there. He was going grey at the temples, the rest of his hair was black, his eyes were grey, and oddly cool, and he asked the question doctor's always ask with a faintly uninterested tone, as if he didn't really care if she got up and fell down a black hole.
"Hello." She said, smiling, friendly.
"Get back into bed." Dr Petersen (it was on his lapel, neatly sewed in script) told her.
"Just tell me a few things first please."
"Your husband is outside, waiting." he told her. Her husband. For just a brief second she had to concentrate to remember who he meant. Then she remembered...Joe! She felt a quick stab of guilt for forgetting him, but it passed.
"The others...." She asked.
"The other members of your conspiracy? What the hell were you trying to do?" he asked, genuinely perplexed. She smiled.
"You wouldn't understand. Are they here?"
"Teal'c has been exiled back to Chulack. Daniel Jackson is here. He's under arrest, like you."
"And the Colonel...I mean, Jack O'Neill?" she asked, almost tripping over the unfamiliar feel of his name in her voice.
A sudden shadow crossed his face, the clinical coolness in his eyes replaced by human emotion for just a second.
"You really need to get back into bed." He insisted.
"I will." She told him, suddenly worried. A sudden cold knot of fear had formed in her gut....one she hadn't felt for a long time. Not since a corridor, in a ship, with the forcefield shimmering between them, and the Jaffa approaching, and he wouldn't leave, he was going to die....she pushed the unbidden memory away. "Just tell me, please, where is he?"
"I was told not to tell you. Your husband was very explicit on this point..." Dr Petersen said, reluctantly.
"I need to know." She said, her voice low and forceful. Something of her, of their past, must have come through in her voice, because Dr. Petersen's brow creased up in sympathy.
"I'm sorry." He said, and every word fell heavily into the room, like stones in a lake. "Colonel O'Neill was very badly injured. He died on the way to hospital."
Sam had never been the kind of woman who fainted. But reality had become too much for her. Her body crumpled inelegantly onto the floor, as her mind slipped into forgiving blackness.
She woke again, and again, day after day. And every day she remembered. He'd died. She'd killed him.
Every day, Dr. Petersen came to check on her. And every day, he frowned, looking down at her chart.
"Physically, your wounds are healing." He told her. "I don't understand why you're not getting better."
"I don't feel any better." She said. "I have a pain."
"Where?" he asked, placing his cool, competent hands on her abdomen, as if he could draw the pain out with his touch.
"In my stomach." She told him. "It's a kind of dragging, pulling pain."
"There's nothing wrong with you." He said gently.
"Then what's causing the pain?"
"Grief." He said, his face lined with an empathic sorrow.
"Oh." She said simply.
Day after day, she lay there, feeling the grief in her belly, letting the tears fall down her face. If it wasn't for her, he'd never have been there, struggling to complete a mission he hadn't chosen, hadn't planned, hadn't even wanted to be part of. What had she needed him for anyway? Why hadn't she left him, to his cabin in the woods, to the peace, and quiet? Why had she needed him?
"Why do you think you needed him?"
Sam looked up, around, surprised. Daniel sat there, on the chair by her bad. His arm was in a sling, and a massive bruise extended all down the left side of his face. He was smiling at her, but it was a gentle, sorrowful smile.
"You were talking aloud." He told her. "I didn't mean to intrude. I was worried about you."
"No...no, it's good to see you, Daniel. How long have I been lying here?"
"Couple of weeks. I should stay there as long as you can if possible. They're going to arrest us as soon as we're out of here. Joe's already been arrested."
"They arrested Joe? What for?"
"As an accessory. Don't worry, I think Kinsey's trying to get him out. I'm more worried about you."
"I'm fine." She said, propping herself up into a sitting position.
"No, you're not." He insisted. "I know you, Sam. I've lain there, in the next room, and heard you, muttering, all night, about Jack."
"It was my fault."
"No, it wasn't."
"If I hadn't asked him..."
"So why did you ask him?"
She thought, for a long while, trying to cast her mind back. She only knew, that when she decided to go back, to change her future, she'd known she needed him. She couldn't have done it without him.
"I needed him."
"Why?"
"To take command." She said slowly. "To be the soldier to my scientist. Take charge, make me think about what I'm doing. Take responsibility."
"Why couldn't you command?"
"I'm a scientist, not a soldier."
"You were a soldier."
"But not any more. Once the Aschen came, I was a scientist. I didn't need to be a soldier any more. I could just do my work. I didn't need to fight, or lead, or take any responsibility whatsoever."
"That's a shame. You could have made a good commander."
"No.."
"Jack always thought so."
She turned round and looked at him, surprised.
"He did talk to me, you know," Daniel said, smiling at her. "He told me that one day you would make a wonderful commanding officer. He had absolute faith in you."
She turned to look at him. The Colonel had thought that? She tried to remember what it was like, to make the life or death decisions in a white-hot, split-second moment, to have the lives of others, lives she cared for and nurtured, in her hands, sending her friends to possible death.
Thinking. Planning. Leading.
Winning.
"We're not staying here to be arrested." She said sharply. "We're leaving. I have a mission to carry out, and I'm going to do it one way or another." She told Daniel, her voice crisp, and sharp.
"Good." Daniel said, standing up. "That's what I hoped you say. And I may have a way out of here."
"What way?"
"Did you know that there's a resistance movement against the Aschen across the galaxy? Ours isn't the only planet they've tried to destroy. I met one of their representatives. He was disguised as a nurse, came and changed my bandages, and told me he could help."
"Does he have a way out of here?"
"No, but he's eager to help. Very eager, like a puppy dog. I'll send him to you. His name is Jonas."