Harry Potter and the Worst Bachelor Party Ever
Summary: Draco Malfoy is getting married to Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter is the hectic best man trying to organize the bachelor party. Will his girlfriend, Hermione Granger, approve of the setting Harry has chosen for Draco's party? And Ron stirs things up. One-shot H/H, D/G fluffiness.
A/N: This was originally written for a challenge on the Pumpkin Pies and Mai Tais thread at FictionAlley Park. Dedicated to my beta reader, Liz Weasley, who is awesome.
*~*~*
"Harry, do you even have any idea of where you're going?" Hermione Granger was standing with her hands on her hips. Leaning forward, she tiptoed to look over the shoulder of Harry Potter as he studied the wizarding maps of London.
"Er, I think it's called The Golden Stag? It's a gentlemen's club."
"A strip club, Harry," Hermione looked at him disapprovingly. "Do you know the kind sleazeballs that hang out there?"
"If I didn't know any better, Dr. Granger, I'd swear that you were jealous."
"Hmph."
Harry glanced up from the map and turned around to face his girlfriend. "You know perfectly well that I'm only doing this for Malfoy's benefit. It is his bachelor party, after all, and I'm his best man. Taking him to a club is practically an obligation."
Hermione wrinkled her nose, "I don't think Ginny would appreciate your 'obligation' to her fiancé."
She picked up the ad that Harry had cut out from the newspaper. "Listen to this garbage," she complained, "'Hot young witches! Come by The Golden Stag and enjoy the exotic dancing. You know your wand will.'"
"Disgusting," she snorted, as she crumpled up the clipping and tossed it into the trash.
Harry shook his head and slipped his arms around her waist, "Don't worry, Hermione, I know perfectly well that there's only one witch for me."
Gently, he tipped her head up to face him. He closed his eyes as his lips descended upon hers.
"Ack," he coughed. Hermione's unruly brown hair had escaped her elastic band again. He'd gotten a mouthful when he tried to kiss her.
Hermione laughed. "So much for your big romantic moment, eh, Potter?"
Growling, Harry determinedly brushed Hermione's hair behind her ear. This time, he locked his emerald gaze onto its lush, full target and crushed her lips fully with his own before he dared to close his eyes and let the bliss of their connection sink in. Her mouth was so soft, so warm, so inviting.
For a long moment, they engaged in a competition to see who could continue kissing longer without coming up for air. They pulled back from one another at the same instant, both desperately gasping for breath.
"Tie, again," Hermione noted with a small smile.
"So I'm still ahead?" Harry asked.
"Only by three. And you know it's not fair because you had all that practice holding your breath for the tri-wizard tournament."
"I ought to give you some more chances to catch up then."
"Oh, you better," she murmured, closing the distance between them once again.
Just before their lips met again, Harry caught a glance of his watch and jumped back.
"Cripes! It's five-thirty already," he exclaimed. He looked apologetically at Hermione, "I'm supposed to meet Ron and Malfoy in five minutes."
Hermione pouted. "Fine," she grumbled resignedly, "but you owe me a serious snog." She reached over to fix Harry's tie and combed his messy black hair back with her fingers. "And don't stay out too late," she reprimanded.
"Yes, mother," Harry mocked.
"Harry!"
Laughing, Harry leaned over to kiss Hermione on the nose. "I'll be back before you know it," he promised, "and I fully intend to return your 'serious snog.'"
Hermione smiled an uncharacteristically wicked smile. "Oh, I'll make sure of that."
*~*~*
"This, is the kind of place you take me to for my bachelor party? That scar on your head must seriously impair your judgment, Potter," Draco Malfoy remarked as he walked into The Golden Stag, accompanied by Ron and Harry.
"Hardly my fault, Malfoy," Harry protested. "You're the one who gave me three-days notice that I was going to be your best man and that I'd better throw you a bachelor party. I figured someone of your tastes would love a gentlemen's club."
"Hey," Ron complained, "don't comment on Malfoy's tastes like that. He is marrying my sister, after all. Although, her tastes are quite another story."
Draco rolled his eyes, "Thanks, Weasley. You're ever so helpful, as usual."
Ron glowered. He turned towards Harry, "I can't believe you actually agreed to be this git's best man."
Harry shrugged, "I figured since Hermione was already Ginny's maid of honor, I might as well stand up for Malfoy. You have to admit, it would be an eyesore to have Crabbe or Goyle up there."
"I can still hear you," Draco reminded the twosome. "Anyway, Potter, where are Crabbe and Goyle? Or did you forget to invite them?"
"Erm."
"Never mind." Draco waved his hand, "Those two probably wouldn't be able to get in the door anyway. They hardly fit the description of 'gentlemen.'"
Draco continued to amble around the club, commenting on this and that, while Harry and Ron dropped back in conversation.
".But it makes it look like you actually want to be there," Ron hissed with a furtive glance at Draco, who was paying no heed to them.
Harry's brow furrowed, "What do you mean? It is Ginny's wedding. She's our friend and your sister."
"It's like you're condoning this.this thing." Ron's voice dropped even lower. "You know that no one in our family approves of this match. The only reason any of us are even going is because it would break Gin's heart if we weren't at her wedding."
"I made Malfoy a promise, and I intend to keep it," Harry replied, his voice a little tighter than usual. And anyway," he added, "Why are you so hung up on old prejudices? Malfoy turned away from the dark arts a long time ago." He paused. "We might not have won the war if he hadn't been a spy on the Death Eaters. And Ginny loves him. Can't you just accept that?"
Ron's blue eyes blazed now as he grabbed Harry and threw him backwards. "Everyone else may think you're some sort of Messiah figure whose word is law," he said, clenching his teeth. "But I don't buy that junk. You have no right to tell me what I should and shouldn't believe."
A stunned Harry stumbled back a few steps before squarely seizing Ron by the shoulders, "Ron, what the hell is wrong with you?"
Draco whirled around just in time to see Harry shove Ron into a stack of chairs. "Potter! Weasley! What is your problem?"
"Shut up Malfoy!" Ron and Harry yelled in unison.
Turning back to Ron, Harry softened. "Ron, we're best friends, can you please just tell me what on earth your problem is?"
"Oh? Now I'm your best friend again, am I?" spat Ron. "I thought you were best friends with Malfoy. That's why you've agreed to be his best man."
Harry's eyes widened incredulously. "Is that what this is about? You're jealous!"
Draco folded his arms across his chest. "Please, Potter, don't flatter yourself. Not everyone in the world is lining up to befriend the famous Harry Potter."
"Stay out of this," snapped Ron.
A haughty concierge came over with a look of distaste at the mess Harry and Ron had made. "Sirs, we do not permit fighting on zee premises of zee Golden Stag. Or shouting. Unless it is for our girls."
"Ahem," Draco cleared his throat, "Just for the record, one of us here is a gentleman and was not fighting."
"I am sorry sir, but we will have to ask you and your friends to leave."
Grumbling, the three men were escorted out of the club.
"Thanks for the great bachelor party, Potter," Draco said sarcastically. "You're the worst best man ever."
Ron jumped to Harry's defense immediately. "He is not! And Malfoy, if you had any real friends, you wouldn't have to steal someone else's best friend to be your best man."
"For the last time, Weasley, I have no interest in stealing Potter away from you. He and Granger are practically joined at the hip. Who wants to be around that?"
A half smile quirked up on Ron's lips. "That is true," he said thoughtfully. He turned to face Harry. "You had to get Herm's permission to come tonight, didn't you?"
"Well, er ."
Draco shook his head. "You are so whipped."
Ron laughed.
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed.
"He is right, you know?" Ron pointed out.
Harry glared at him. "Now who's acting like Malfoy's best friend?"
Sobriety replaced Ron's amusement. "Listen, Harry. I'm sorry. My baby sister's getting married and I'm just a little crazy right now."
"It's all right. I'm sorry too. " Harry grinned apologetically. "Friends?"
"Best friends." Ron reaffirmed as the two friends embraced.
Draco rolled his eyes skyward. "This is getting nauseating. I'm going home."
*~*~*
"Hey, beautiful," Draco drawled lazily as he leaned against the doorframe, waiting to catch the attention of his red-haired fiancée.
"Draco! You're home!" Ginny exclaimed. "That was fast. So.." She wrung her hands nervously, Draco noted with a smile. "How was it?"
He waved his hand dismissively. "Waste of time. Your sod of a brother and scar-head got us thrown out before the show even started."
Ginny's features relaxed visibly. "Oh. What happened?"
Draco shrugged. "They got into a fight. Your brother is apparently jealous that Potter is my best man." He moved to pull Ginny within his embrace. "Someone clearly doesn't realize that the only Gryffindor I want to spend any time with is you."
He smiled down at her. "Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"
Sounding a bit forlorn, Ginny motioned towards the table. "Another fruit basket arrived. More people sending their regrets that they won't be attending our wedding."
Draco frowned, eyeing the green fruit with disdain. "Obviously insincere. They could at least send ripe fruit."
Ginny bit her lip. "Draco.Do you sometimes think that we're making a mistake by getting married? Everyone else seems to think so. No one wants to come to our wedding. Your family isn't coming, and mine barely pretends to be happy about it."
Tightening his embrace around Ginny, Draco lifted her chin and stared resolutely into her lovely brown eyes. For once, the playful scorn that usually graced his visage lifted. His voice was steady and even when he began to speak.
"Ginny, when I asked you to marry me, I wasn't asking to marry your family or friends. I love you," he emphasized. "I just hope that's good enough."
Ginny blinked back a few tears and buried her face in his chest. "It's enough," she whispered, "it's more than enough."
Reveling in the comfort of her fiancé's reassurance, Ginny's mood shifted for the better. She slid her hands down into the back pockets of Draco's jeans and began massaging him, slowly. "I'm so sorry for having doubts about us," she murmured.
"Mmm," Draco responded, enjoying the feel of Ginny's hands on his body.
"I'm going to have to make it up to you," she continued.
Draco's drawl mixed with a growl of pleasure. "And just how do you plan to do that, Miss Weasley?"
The vulnerable girl had disappeared completely by now, and in her place stood a seductress that made Draco's blood race through his veins. "Well, Mr. Malfoy" Ginny smiled coyly, allowing her hands to slip out of Draco's pockets and freely wander his lean frame, "I did hear that you were planning to have one last wild night as a single man tonight. And since your other plans fell through." She raised her eyebrows suggestively and leaned in to nibble his ear. "I thought I might be of service."
Draco closed his eyes while Ginny made good on her promise. He was suddenly very glad to have been thrown out of The Golden Stag.
*~*~*
"Harry! You've got an owl from Malfoy!" Hermione Granger called to her dawdling boyfriend. Harry was still lying in bed, exhausted from making up for Hermione's missed snog.
Yawning, Harry rubbed his eyes and summoned the letter over.
Potter, Thanks for getting us thrown out of the club. I wound up having a great time last night.
--D.M.
*~*~*
Summary: Draco Malfoy is getting married to Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter is the hectic best man trying to organize the bachelor party. Will his girlfriend, Hermione Granger, approve of the setting Harry has chosen for Draco's party? And Ron stirs things up. One-shot H/H, D/G fluffiness.
A/N: This was originally written for a challenge on the Pumpkin Pies and Mai Tais thread at FictionAlley Park. Dedicated to my beta reader, Liz Weasley, who is awesome.
*~*~*
"Harry, do you even have any idea of where you're going?" Hermione Granger was standing with her hands on her hips. Leaning forward, she tiptoed to look over the shoulder of Harry Potter as he studied the wizarding maps of London.
"Er, I think it's called The Golden Stag? It's a gentlemen's club."
"A strip club, Harry," Hermione looked at him disapprovingly. "Do you know the kind sleazeballs that hang out there?"
"If I didn't know any better, Dr. Granger, I'd swear that you were jealous."
"Hmph."
Harry glanced up from the map and turned around to face his girlfriend. "You know perfectly well that I'm only doing this for Malfoy's benefit. It is his bachelor party, after all, and I'm his best man. Taking him to a club is practically an obligation."
Hermione wrinkled her nose, "I don't think Ginny would appreciate your 'obligation' to her fiancé."
She picked up the ad that Harry had cut out from the newspaper. "Listen to this garbage," she complained, "'Hot young witches! Come by The Golden Stag and enjoy the exotic dancing. You know your wand will.'"
"Disgusting," she snorted, as she crumpled up the clipping and tossed it into the trash.
Harry shook his head and slipped his arms around her waist, "Don't worry, Hermione, I know perfectly well that there's only one witch for me."
Gently, he tipped her head up to face him. He closed his eyes as his lips descended upon hers.
"Ack," he coughed. Hermione's unruly brown hair had escaped her elastic band again. He'd gotten a mouthful when he tried to kiss her.
Hermione laughed. "So much for your big romantic moment, eh, Potter?"
Growling, Harry determinedly brushed Hermione's hair behind her ear. This time, he locked his emerald gaze onto its lush, full target and crushed her lips fully with his own before he dared to close his eyes and let the bliss of their connection sink in. Her mouth was so soft, so warm, so inviting.
For a long moment, they engaged in a competition to see who could continue kissing longer without coming up for air. They pulled back from one another at the same instant, both desperately gasping for breath.
"Tie, again," Hermione noted with a small smile.
"So I'm still ahead?" Harry asked.
"Only by three. And you know it's not fair because you had all that practice holding your breath for the tri-wizard tournament."
"I ought to give you some more chances to catch up then."
"Oh, you better," she murmured, closing the distance between them once again.
Just before their lips met again, Harry caught a glance of his watch and jumped back.
"Cripes! It's five-thirty already," he exclaimed. He looked apologetically at Hermione, "I'm supposed to meet Ron and Malfoy in five minutes."
Hermione pouted. "Fine," she grumbled resignedly, "but you owe me a serious snog." She reached over to fix Harry's tie and combed his messy black hair back with her fingers. "And don't stay out too late," she reprimanded.
"Yes, mother," Harry mocked.
"Harry!"
Laughing, Harry leaned over to kiss Hermione on the nose. "I'll be back before you know it," he promised, "and I fully intend to return your 'serious snog.'"
Hermione smiled an uncharacteristically wicked smile. "Oh, I'll make sure of that."
*~*~*
"This, is the kind of place you take me to for my bachelor party? That scar on your head must seriously impair your judgment, Potter," Draco Malfoy remarked as he walked into The Golden Stag, accompanied by Ron and Harry.
"Hardly my fault, Malfoy," Harry protested. "You're the one who gave me three-days notice that I was going to be your best man and that I'd better throw you a bachelor party. I figured someone of your tastes would love a gentlemen's club."
"Hey," Ron complained, "don't comment on Malfoy's tastes like that. He is marrying my sister, after all. Although, her tastes are quite another story."
Draco rolled his eyes, "Thanks, Weasley. You're ever so helpful, as usual."
Ron glowered. He turned towards Harry, "I can't believe you actually agreed to be this git's best man."
Harry shrugged, "I figured since Hermione was already Ginny's maid of honor, I might as well stand up for Malfoy. You have to admit, it would be an eyesore to have Crabbe or Goyle up there."
"I can still hear you," Draco reminded the twosome. "Anyway, Potter, where are Crabbe and Goyle? Or did you forget to invite them?"
"Erm."
"Never mind." Draco waved his hand, "Those two probably wouldn't be able to get in the door anyway. They hardly fit the description of 'gentlemen.'"
Draco continued to amble around the club, commenting on this and that, while Harry and Ron dropped back in conversation.
".But it makes it look like you actually want to be there," Ron hissed with a furtive glance at Draco, who was paying no heed to them.
Harry's brow furrowed, "What do you mean? It is Ginny's wedding. She's our friend and your sister."
"It's like you're condoning this.this thing." Ron's voice dropped even lower. "You know that no one in our family approves of this match. The only reason any of us are even going is because it would break Gin's heart if we weren't at her wedding."
"I made Malfoy a promise, and I intend to keep it," Harry replied, his voice a little tighter than usual. And anyway," he added, "Why are you so hung up on old prejudices? Malfoy turned away from the dark arts a long time ago." He paused. "We might not have won the war if he hadn't been a spy on the Death Eaters. And Ginny loves him. Can't you just accept that?"
Ron's blue eyes blazed now as he grabbed Harry and threw him backwards. "Everyone else may think you're some sort of Messiah figure whose word is law," he said, clenching his teeth. "But I don't buy that junk. You have no right to tell me what I should and shouldn't believe."
A stunned Harry stumbled back a few steps before squarely seizing Ron by the shoulders, "Ron, what the hell is wrong with you?"
Draco whirled around just in time to see Harry shove Ron into a stack of chairs. "Potter! Weasley! What is your problem?"
"Shut up Malfoy!" Ron and Harry yelled in unison.
Turning back to Ron, Harry softened. "Ron, we're best friends, can you please just tell me what on earth your problem is?"
"Oh? Now I'm your best friend again, am I?" spat Ron. "I thought you were best friends with Malfoy. That's why you've agreed to be his best man."
Harry's eyes widened incredulously. "Is that what this is about? You're jealous!"
Draco folded his arms across his chest. "Please, Potter, don't flatter yourself. Not everyone in the world is lining up to befriend the famous Harry Potter."
"Stay out of this," snapped Ron.
A haughty concierge came over with a look of distaste at the mess Harry and Ron had made. "Sirs, we do not permit fighting on zee premises of zee Golden Stag. Or shouting. Unless it is for our girls."
"Ahem," Draco cleared his throat, "Just for the record, one of us here is a gentleman and was not fighting."
"I am sorry sir, but we will have to ask you and your friends to leave."
Grumbling, the three men were escorted out of the club.
"Thanks for the great bachelor party, Potter," Draco said sarcastically. "You're the worst best man ever."
Ron jumped to Harry's defense immediately. "He is not! And Malfoy, if you had any real friends, you wouldn't have to steal someone else's best friend to be your best man."
"For the last time, Weasley, I have no interest in stealing Potter away from you. He and Granger are practically joined at the hip. Who wants to be around that?"
A half smile quirked up on Ron's lips. "That is true," he said thoughtfully. He turned to face Harry. "You had to get Herm's permission to come tonight, didn't you?"
"Well, er ."
Draco shook his head. "You are so whipped."
Ron laughed.
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed.
"He is right, you know?" Ron pointed out.
Harry glared at him. "Now who's acting like Malfoy's best friend?"
Sobriety replaced Ron's amusement. "Listen, Harry. I'm sorry. My baby sister's getting married and I'm just a little crazy right now."
"It's all right. I'm sorry too. " Harry grinned apologetically. "Friends?"
"Best friends." Ron reaffirmed as the two friends embraced.
Draco rolled his eyes skyward. "This is getting nauseating. I'm going home."
*~*~*
"Hey, beautiful," Draco drawled lazily as he leaned against the doorframe, waiting to catch the attention of his red-haired fiancée.
"Draco! You're home!" Ginny exclaimed. "That was fast. So.." She wrung her hands nervously, Draco noted with a smile. "How was it?"
He waved his hand dismissively. "Waste of time. Your sod of a brother and scar-head got us thrown out before the show even started."
Ginny's features relaxed visibly. "Oh. What happened?"
Draco shrugged. "They got into a fight. Your brother is apparently jealous that Potter is my best man." He moved to pull Ginny within his embrace. "Someone clearly doesn't realize that the only Gryffindor I want to spend any time with is you."
He smiled down at her. "Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"
Sounding a bit forlorn, Ginny motioned towards the table. "Another fruit basket arrived. More people sending their regrets that they won't be attending our wedding."
Draco frowned, eyeing the green fruit with disdain. "Obviously insincere. They could at least send ripe fruit."
Ginny bit her lip. "Draco.Do you sometimes think that we're making a mistake by getting married? Everyone else seems to think so. No one wants to come to our wedding. Your family isn't coming, and mine barely pretends to be happy about it."
Tightening his embrace around Ginny, Draco lifted her chin and stared resolutely into her lovely brown eyes. For once, the playful scorn that usually graced his visage lifted. His voice was steady and even when he began to speak.
"Ginny, when I asked you to marry me, I wasn't asking to marry your family or friends. I love you," he emphasized. "I just hope that's good enough."
Ginny blinked back a few tears and buried her face in his chest. "It's enough," she whispered, "it's more than enough."
Reveling in the comfort of her fiancé's reassurance, Ginny's mood shifted for the better. She slid her hands down into the back pockets of Draco's jeans and began massaging him, slowly. "I'm so sorry for having doubts about us," she murmured.
"Mmm," Draco responded, enjoying the feel of Ginny's hands on his body.
"I'm going to have to make it up to you," she continued.
Draco's drawl mixed with a growl of pleasure. "And just how do you plan to do that, Miss Weasley?"
The vulnerable girl had disappeared completely by now, and in her place stood a seductress that made Draco's blood race through his veins. "Well, Mr. Malfoy" Ginny smiled coyly, allowing her hands to slip out of Draco's pockets and freely wander his lean frame, "I did hear that you were planning to have one last wild night as a single man tonight. And since your other plans fell through." She raised her eyebrows suggestively and leaned in to nibble his ear. "I thought I might be of service."
Draco closed his eyes while Ginny made good on her promise. He was suddenly very glad to have been thrown out of The Golden Stag.
*~*~*
"Harry! You've got an owl from Malfoy!" Hermione Granger called to her dawdling boyfriend. Harry was still lying in bed, exhausted from making up for Hermione's missed snog.
Yawning, Harry rubbed his eyes and summoned the letter over.
Potter, Thanks for getting us thrown out of the club. I wound up having a great time last night.
--D.M.
*~*~*