A decisive night

Sephiroth was waving in and out of consciousness, feeling his body trying to fight whatever Hojo did to him. Flashbacks of the war played before his eyes, horrors soaked in blood and ripped flesh scattered around him. The battle, the intensity of the flames, people yelling in agony, swallowed by human's fool desire of conquest… And the pain, the sharp prick of guilt forming a knot in his stomach, the pain of realising that he was nothing more than a weapon, the responsibility of thousand lost lives… and suddenly, it all faded away, leaving him in the quietness of his quarters. He realised he wasn't on the floor anymore, but he had been transported into his bed.

- God, Seph! Don't do that again! You scared the hell out of me!

The General tried to lift himself up on his elbows, but Zack pushed him down.

- Sleep. You still have 2:00 ahead of you. I'll wake you up if you're having another nightmare. Oh, and by the way… I wanted the details on the mission. Are the papers still in your office?

Sephiroth looked at his second in a awe before nodding. He watched Zack leave the bedroom, and thought for a moment that he was somewhat lucky to have him nearby. Zack was caring, and in many occasions he helped him without any comments or judgements, and never, never had he babbled about it. No one ever knew when the General was hurt or bedridden with Mako poisoning, but Zack was always there. He watched as he came back to sit down next to the bed with the papers concerning the mission they were leading. Reassured, he sighed and closed his eyes.

Zack turned his head when he heard the sigh. He listened to his deepening breathing as Sephiroth returned to sleep. He brushed a few strands of silver hair out of his face before pulling up the sheets to his neck. He knew that Sephiroth was going through a rough ride every day, and somehow he wanted to help him, really wanted, but…

- You need someone else, Seph…

He needed someone close to him every day, someone in which he could put his soul without any fear of loosing it. The first time Zack had seen him, he'd seen the lost child under the cool exterior. In those green Mako eyes he'd seen the hurt and the loneliness and he'd managed to held out a brotherly hand to the man. Perhaps the General wasn't even aware of it, but he was in need for something more, something that Zack couldn't give him.

He returned to his papers. He scanned quickly through them, reading the mission's objectives, and then the technical sheets of the troopers. Yummel Green and, he smiled when he saw the name, Cloud Strife. The boy had a great personality. Quiet in words, but not in action, he was unbeatable when he was fighting bare handed. But lately, he was coming down with a lot of bruises, and the Commander couldn't tell why and Cloud kept lying to him whenever he asked about it. The answer seemed to jump into his face when he read 'Draven unit' next to his current status. Zack sighed. Hatako was at it again. He also thought about passing to the sickbay before leaving to take some motion sickness pills. A boat ride with Cloud could prove to have those pills handy…

********

Young Sephiroth toddled to the examination table forcefully. Playing nervously with his fingers while Hojo removed his shirt, he chewed on his bottom lip.

- Professor? Why are the other kids staying away from me?

Hojo continued to stick electrodes and wires on him, ignoring totally his question. He turned to pick up some syringes full of a strange green liquid, and Sephiroth knew it would hurt. Desperately trying to gain his father's attention, he unplugged an electrode near his face. When the Professor came to tuck it at the right place, he spoke again.

- Why can't I have a friend?

A hard slap across the face was his answer. Hurt beyond the words, Sephiroth began to sob quietly.

- How many times will I have to tell you? You're a special boy, stronger and brighter than other kids! You don't need friends, friendship is useless, and crying is for the weak! Stop it now, that we can work!

With that Hojo strapped him on the cold metal table and began administering the Mako treatments.

********

Zack was so caught in his thoughts that he didn't noticed the rustle of sheets behind him, not until a weak moan alerted him. Sephiroth was turning and tossing, trapped in another nightmare. The raven-haired man shook him gently, and stopped when his superior sat upright on his bed, panting heavily as he tried to send away the remnants of the horror dream he'd been reliving.

- Seph… calm down…

- Zack, I-I… I can't… I don't…

Sephiroth shook his head furiously and bolted off to the bathroom to throw up. Zack followed an rubbed his back soothingly while he heaved. Slowly, the General snapped out of his vision and leaned against his friend, who was continuing to massage his shoulders.

- Shhhh… Listen to me. If you don't open up, you'll brake down, Seph. I know you don't want to talk, you never showed any emotion to anyone but me, and still I think you try to hide them as much as you can when I'm around, and I never pushed you to talk to me, never asked anything, but I won't be able to take much more of this. I see you being hurt by Hojo, and it never end, I want to help you at least ease the pain, so I ask, Seph, what's wrong. Don't keep all this inside…

The General looked at his Commander with his eyes wide in confusion. No one had ever cared that much about him, no one ever /asked/ him anything, nobody ever asked if he needed help, either. What he sensed, though, is that he was truly on the brisk of going totally insane, something was weighting on him, he /needed/ release… Crying is for the weak… I need to cry…

- Please, tell me your story, and maybe we'll find a solution…

So Sephiroth just looked at his friend, eyes all watery, and Zack immediately wrapped his arms around him, and the General couldn't understand the gesture, he just felt the warmth, and he gazed questioningly at the Commander. This can't be friendship, not that soothing… Friendship is supposed to be useless…

- Friendship, Seph, it's called friendship. Cry if you need to, yell if you feel like you want to, tell me to go fuck myself if you think it would do you good, do whatever you want, I won't mind, I'm your friend, for heaven's sake, and that's what friends are made for. I won't turn down on you, I'm here to stay, Seph. You are hurt, you're confused and lost… Please. Talk to me…?

Lies… all he said to me was lies… How can it be? The silver-haired man felt something wet sliding down his cheeks. A tear. He hadn't cried in years since… since when? Since he was six? Maybe before that… He'd forgotten how it was to cry. Zack held him tighter, not hurting him, but supporting him. After few minutes, Sephiroth calmed down and accepted the blanket that made his way around his shoulders. The dark-haired man smiled.

- I'm here, Seph, he said, I won't let you down.

Sephiroth took a shuddered breath and began to talk. 

*******

The dawn came too early, like every time it did. Zack had stayed awake all night long, looking over Sephiroth, who, after a lot of talking, a slow realisation of who he was really and what was happening to him, had fallen asleep again. A deep and resting sleep. He now knew how empty the life of his commanding officer had been. From what he could tell, Hojo treated him like an experiment, a guinea pig… Affection had been refused to him as a child, all he had known was pain and loneliness. The Commander shook gently Sephiroth to wake him up. The silver-haired man opened his eyes and slid off the bed.

- I'm going ahead of you, said Zack with a large grin, I gotta go to the sickbay and then I'll meet you at your office.

The General raised a silver eyebrow questioningly.

- You're sick?

- Hell no! But you know, the blond you picked up for this assignment, well, he's motion sick and I'm sure you don't want to clean up the mess…

Sephiroth nodded and walked to Zack.

- Zack I… I…Thank you.

- That's why friends are for, Seph, he answered with a friendly shoulder hug, If you need to talk again, you know where to go…

And with that, Zack turned and got out. At 6:00, Green, Strife and Hoecken were gathered in the General's office to receive the mission briefing. They were going to Junon, a slight Mako leak had been detected and monsters were now roaming the area near the cliffs. All they had to do was to make the reparations and kill an enormous monster that had been reported several times. They'd travel to Midgar port and from them, take a boat to Junon.

After settling himself in the truck, Sephiroth replayed the little talk he had had with Zack. The man was at the back of the truck, not at his side at the front, because he thought that the blond would support the ride better if he was there. Open up, Seph. I'll introduce you to my friend, the little blond boy you picked up, hey what a coincidence. You'll see, you'll like him a lot, he's like you. Cloud Strife was hugging himself on his seat, visibly he had a lot of difficulties with the travelling. A bump on the road shook the vehicle and the blond's head almost hit the control panel, if it was not for Sephiroth's hand on his shoulder. The blond looked up at him timidly, a shade of pink tainting his cheeks and quickly turned his head back to look at the road. When he retired his hand, though, he noticed a dark bruise just at the base of his neck. The General frowned, Zack had said to him that Cloud was like him, he was so quiet… and cute, Sephiroth had to admit.

*******

In the small cabin, apart of the waves you could hear the powerful sound of the Commander's snoring. The General had left for the deck already. Cloud was waving back and forth on his cot, trying to keep in check his motion sickness. He couldn't believe that the Great Sephiroth had chosen /him/ to go on a mission, that he even touched him… Since his childhood, he knew he was different from the others. He was special. Nobody wanted to play with him or be seen with him. They were saying he was weird and played tricks on him or used to beat him when they could catch him, so he had to become quicker and developed a great cunning and agility. But when he'd entered the army… the first time he'd gotten into the shower room, well... his difference became clear to him. But being thoughtful, he waited until everyone was gone before stripping to wash. Only Zack knew, of course, but now… now he was on a mission with the most beautiful man he'd never seen, and he touched him, once… he was in heaven.

They were sailing since few hours now, Cloud still fighting to keep quiet, unable to sleep due to his nervousness, but the sea seemed to be stormy, and a high wave send them rolling off their cots. Cloud bolted off for the deck, his stomach knotting painfully. He bumped into something on his way out and fell backward, but he managed to crawl his way to the railing and clung to it for dear life as he gave up on his last meal. He felt a hand rubbing his back, probably Zack, and he sagged, closing his eyes, trying to calm down.

- Seasick?

Cloud nodded and slid down against the railing, concentring on his breathing. A long silence followed, and after a while, the blond opened his eyes. That wasn't Zack before him. The silver-haired General was looking at the stars, a sad expression marking his beautiful features. Realising that he had bumped into the man minutes ago, his eyes widened in fear and he tried to get up as fast as he could to salute. Two times already he'd shown the General his weakness, if he didn't make up now, he'll lose all his chances to become a SOLDIER…

- I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry, sir! I'll never do it again!

He watched as Sephiroth dropped his gaze on him, and he knew the man was probably thinking he was a weakling… And he saw the great General lift his hand. OhGodhe'sgonnabeatthecrapoutofme..pleasenopleaseno… Hatako had done this so many times already, he couldn't help himself and curled into a ball, protecting his head with his arms and his midsection with his knees.

- Please, I'll never do it again! Don't beat me! I'm sorry… I'm sorry!

He was amazed when the previously risen hand came resting again on his shoulder. Sephiroth was touching him again… The General had no idea why he was doing this, maybe what Zack had told him was hitting the spot, but Sephiroth was feeling something for the boy, something he couldn't place just yet.

- I won't hurt you. Never, please believe me.

The words had the desired effect and the boy uncurled. Sephiroth then did something very rare; he smiled and helped Cloud to get on his feet.

- Is there a way to prevent this?, he asked

Cloud just looked at him, eyes wide open in awe. After few seconds, he remembered to breath and answered his question. A big wave lifted the boat and Cloud's legs almost gave out and he paled dangerously, but the General was there to support him.

- Uggh… Not really, sir…

- But, there's must be a way for you to feel better, no?

Cloud blushed and looked away in shame. He couldn't ask this to his commanding officer.

- Cloud?

The blond bit his lower lip and decided to go for it anyway.

- Don't take it personal… I feel better when I can sleep off the ride, but… but…

- But what? Sephiroth asked softy

- You're my hero, I'm so excited I can't sleep. I've dreamed to see you since I'm little! I mean… You're all I want to become! You're the best swordsman of the world… The only way I could go to sleep… sir, is to know if you would want to teach me how to be as good as you…

Sephiroth pondered on the proposition. Taking Cloud in as his student could keep Hojo off him… And it could be very interesting to teach the swordsmanship to a boy who already know how to fight, and well with that. And maybe… maybe the boy could become a friend to him? He enjoyed Zack as a friend, but he was thinking the man was a little too hyperactive, on the other hand, Cloud seemed quieter. And somewhere inside of him he wanted to have Cloud nearby, but he couldn't tell why. He looked at the two blue ocean orbs pleading for an answer and he nodded. The blond's eyes sparkled with joy and he stood up straight and saluted.

- Thank you, sir! You won't be deceived, sir!

And with that he bolted off for the cabin. Sephiroth returned to the railing, letting his silver hair float as the city of Junon was appearing at the horizon. He looked up at the stars and felt a little spark of hope that maybe, his life was taking a turning point.

End

Author's notes

O_o !!! *Kicks Cloud out of the car* I just cleaned it!!!!!! Phew… just in time… I passed the weekend out in my courtyard without sunscreen and now I'm looking like a lobster and can't go out in the sun for a few days. T_T god it hurts. Don't do this. Use sunscreen, it's good for you. Anyway, looks like this isn't my month, ne? Hopefully I passed my PMS 2 weeks ago =^_^=, so it could be worse! Next chapter: Limit break.