Hullo all who bother to read my fics! Sorry I haven't updated or even TRIED to start this story yet. Well, anyway, here it is. Came from extreme boredom and a tiny sliver of idea in homeroom. Thanx for the suggestions, dunno if I'll use them, if and when I update. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! GOBBLES THE TURKEY SAYS HULLO!!!! ;P

Tsorry I haven't updated anything in a while. I have either been very busy or procrastinating. Check out Viggo Mortensen's spoken word songs at www.mp3.com .

HAPPY 2003 EVERYONE!!!! WHOOO!! I juzz got the TTT game. So awesome, cept I hafta adjust the brightness cuz I can't see a frickin thing. Lol, Aragorn fighting blind. Stupid Ringwraiths, stupid Frodo running around and getting in me way. Hey! I wonder if I can set Frodo on fire. Hmmmm~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ *

Whisper Down The Lane

Chapter 1 Confuzzling

"Hey look! It's a woodpecker!" Aragorn exclaimed, pointing upwards into a tree that had shavings rapidly falling from it.

"Say what?" Gimli asked, very confused, as he was not familiar with the creatures of man.

"It's one of those creatures of the Big Folk! He said to look at his Wood. Pecker," Frodo replied, believing to be very intelligent and informative.

"What's a woodpecker?" Pippin asked, perking up from his burrow of mushrooms.

"Oh, that's quite an obvious thing. It's clearly a pecker of-well, wood," Legolas concluded smiling, very proud of himself of being oh-so- knowledgeable of such non-elven relevant things.

"Why does he have a wooden pecker?" Merry asked, confuzzled, as well, on the subject.

"No, no, NOO!!!" Aragorn shouted, catching onto the conversation volleying between the others.

"Calm down, Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Young Meriadoc was only asking a simple question. Please be a gentleranger and kindly give him an answer," Gandalf interrupted in a wise fashion.

"I had only meant to say, 'look at the bird'," Aragorn replied as calmly as possible.

"So now it's a bird?!" Pippin asked, bewildered.

"What do you mean-NOW?!?!" Aragorn asked suspiciously.

"Well first you're telling us to look at your wooden pecker, which you're now calling a bird! Pretty strange names, if I do say so myself. We prefer to just call 'em liddle hobbits," Pippin responded, with what exactly was in his brain.

Aragorn was fuming by now, for hardly does a Ranger such as himself get insults directed at his manly pride.

"Peregrin Took!" Gandalf interrupted, before Aragorn had a chance to respond in defense of his wholly willy, "Enough with this twisted humor! Setting off those fireworks and ruining my finale was bad enough! Now, if Aragorn wishes to have his happy sack examined, then he should say so more clearly, in a non-metaphoric fashion."

Aragorn was beyond vexation at this point. He knew full well that if he did try to explain and make clear the predicament, he would only make matters worse for himself and the minds of the dratted curious hobbits. So he threw his hands up in defeat and complete aggravation and stalked ahead, leaving the rest still curious as to why the suddenly mentioned topic of Strider's member was left unsettled.



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Obsession is a good thing at this age, right?! RIGHT?!?! I AM NOT INSANE!!! The snow is coming, that means more chances to re-enact scenes from LOTR!! Yesss, my precioussss. COME ON ESTELADUIAL!!! LETZ DO DIZ 1 MORE TIME!!! No, not like that, u dingbat _

Bad British Slang dictionary-putting these terms in me head!

www.theonering.net the best LOTR dedicated site there is, updated very frequently daily. MORE POSTERS!!!!! www.lordoftherings.net GO FELLOW HOBBIT BRETHERN!!!! GO FORTH AND SEEK THAT OF WHICH YOU LUST!!!!!!!!!!